HE SEES THE NAVY

|IT HAS become such a general practice to speak disrespectfully of the

United States Navy that a few days ago I decided to visit the Brooklyn

Navy Yard for the purpose of ascertaining, if possible, how much cause

there might be for this light and airy manner of treating the navy, and,

if necessary, to take immediate steps towards purifying the system.

I found that the matter had been grossly misrepresented, and that our

navy, so far as I was able to discover, is self-sustaining. It has been

thoroughly refitted and refurnished throughout, and is as pleasant a

navy as one would see in a day's journey.

I had the pleasure of boarding the man-of-war Richmond under a flag of

truce and the Atlantic under a suspension of the rules. I remained some

time on board each of these war ships, and any man who speaks lightly of

the United States Navy in my presence hereafter will receive a stinging

rebuke.

The Brooklyn Navy Yard was inaugurated by the purchase of forty acres

of ground in 1801. It has a pleasant water-front, which is at all times

dotted here and there with new war vessels undergoing repairs. Since the

original purchase others have been made and the land side of the yard

inclosed by means of a large brick wall, so that in case there should be

a local disturbance in Brooklyn the rioters could not break through and

bite the navy. In this way a man on board the Atlanta while at anchor in

Brooklyn is just as safe as he would be at home.

In order to enter and explore the Navy Yard it is necessary that

one should have a pass. This is a safeguard, wisely adopted by the

Commandant, in order to keep out strangers who might get in under the

pretext of wishing to view the yard and afterwards attack one of the new

vessels.

On the day I visited the Navy Yard just ahead of me a plain but

dignified person in citizen's dress passed through the gate. He had the

bearing of an officer, I thought, and kept his eye on some object about

nine and one-fourth miles ahead as he walked past the guard. He was told

to halt, but, of course, he did not do so.

He was above it. Then the guard overhauled him, and even felt in his

pockets for his pass, as I supposed. Concealed on his person the guard

found four pint bottles filled with the essence of crime. They poured

the poor man's rum on the grass and then fired him out, accompanied by a

rebuke which will make him more deliberate about sitting down for a week

or two.

The feeling against arduous spirits in the United States Navy is

certainly on the increase, and the day is not far distant when alcohol

in a free state will only be used in the arts, sciences, music,

literature and the drama.

The Richmond is a large but buoyant vessel painted black. It has a front

stairway hanging over the balcony, and the latch-string to the

front door was hanging cheerily out as we drew alongside. During an

engagement, however, on the approach of the enemy, the front stairs

are pulled up and the latch-string is pulled in, while the commanding

officer makes the statement, "April Fool" through a speaking-trumpet to

the chagrined and infuriated foe.

The Richmond is a veteran of the late war, a war which no one ever

regretted more than I did; not so much because of the bloodshed and

desolation it caused at the time, but on account of the rude remarks

since made to those who did not believe in the war and whose feelings

have been repeatedly hurt by reference to it since the war closed.

The guns of the Richmond are muzzle-loaders, _i.e._, the load or charge

of ammunition is put into the other or outer end of the gun instead

of the inner extremity or base of the gun, as is the case with the

breech-loader. The breech-loader is a great improvement on the old style

gun, making warfare a constant source of delirious joy now, whereas in

former times in case of a naval combat during a severe storm, the

man who went outside the ship to load the gun, while it was raining,

frequently contracted pneumonia.

Modern guns are made with breeches, which may be easily removed during

a fight and replaced when visitors come on board. A sort of grim humor

pervades the above remark.

The Richmond is about to sail away to China. I do not know why she

is going to China but presume she does not care to be here during the

amenities, antipathies and aspersions of a Presidential campaign. A

man-of-war would rather make some sacrifices generally than to get into

trouble.

I must here say that I would rather be captured by our naval officers

than by any other naval officers I have ever seen. The older officers

were calm and self-possessed during my visit on board both the Richmond

and Atlanta, and the young fellows are as handsome as a steel engraving.

While gazing on them as they proudly trod the quarter deck or any

other deck that needed it, I was proud of my sex, and I could not help

thinking that had I been an unprotected but beautiful girl, hostile to

the United States, I could have picked out five or six young men

there to either of whom I would be glad to talk over the details of an

armistice. I could not help enjoying fully my hospitable treatment by

the officers above referred to after having been only a little while

before rudely repulsed and most cruelly snubbed by a haughty young

cotton-sock broker in a New York store.

When will people ever learn that the way to have fun with me is to treat

me for the time being as an equal?

It was wash-day on board ship, and I could not help noticing how the

tyrant man asserts himself when he becomes sole boss of the household.

The rule on board a man-of-war is that the first man who on

wash-day shall suggest a "picked-up dinner" shall be loaded into the

double-barrelled howitzer and shot into the bosom of Venus.

On the clothes-line I noticed very few frills. The lingerie on board

a war vessel is severe in outline and almost harsh in detail. Here the

salt breezes search in vain for the singularly sawed-off and fluently

trimmed toga of our home life. Here all is changed. From the basement to

the top of the lightning rod, from pit to dome, as I was about to say, a

belligerent ship on washday is not gayly caparisoned.

The Atlanta is a fair representative of the modern war vessel and would

be the most effective craft in the world if she could use her guns. She

has all the modern improvements, hot and cold water, electric lights,

handy to depots and a good view of the ocean, but when she shoots

off her guns they pull out her circles, abrade her deck, concuss her

rotunda, contuse the main brace and injure people who have always been

friendly to the Government. Her guns are now being removed and new

circles put in, so that in future she would be enabled to give less pain

to her friends and squirt more gloom into the ranks of the enemy. She is

at present as useful for purposes of defense as a revolver in the bottom

of a locked-up bureau drawer, the key of which is in the pocket of your

wife's dress in a dark closet, wherein also the burglar is, for the

nonce, concealed.

Politics has very little to do with the conduct of a navy-yard. No one

would talk politics with me. I could not arouse any interest there

at all in the election. Every one seemed delighted with the present

Administration, however. The navy-yard always feels that way.

In the choky or brig at the guard-house I saw a sailor locked up who was

extremely drunk.

"How did you get it here, my man?" I asked.

"Through thinfloonee of prominent Democrat, you damphool. Howje

spose?" he unto me straightway did reply.

The sailor is sometimes infested with a style of arid humor which

asserts itself in the most unlooked-for fashion. I laughed heartily at

his odd yet coarse repartee, and went away.

The guard-house contains a choice collection of manacles, handcuffs,

lily irons and other rare gems. The lily irons are not now in use. They

consist of two iron bands for the wrists, connected by means of a flat

iron, which can be opened up to let the wrists into place; then they

are both locked at one time by means of a wrench like the one used by a

piano-tuner. With a pair of lily irons on the wrists and another pair on

the ankles a man locked in the brig and caught out 2,000 miles at sea in

a big gale, with the rudder knocked off the ship and a large litter of

kittens in the steam cylinder, would feel almost helpless.

I had almost forgotten to mention the drug store on board ship. Each

man-of-war has a small pharmacy on the second floor. It is open all

night, and prescriptions are carefully compounded. Pure drugs, paints,

oils, varnishes and putty are to be had there at all times. The ship's

dispensary is not a large room, but two ordinary men and a truss would

not feel crowded there. The druggists treated me well on board both

ships, and offered me my choice of antiseptics and anodynes, or anything

else I might take a fancy to. I shall do my trading in that line

hereafter on board ship.

The Atlanta has many very modern improvements, and is said to be a

wonderful sailor. She also has a log. I saw it. It does not look exactly

like what I had, as an old lumberman, imagined that it would.

It is a book, with writing in it, about the size of the tax-roll for

1888. In the cupola of the ship, where the wheel is located, there is

also a big brass compass about as large as the third stomach of a cow.

In this there is a little index or dingus, which always points towards

the north. That is all it has to do. On each side of the compass is

a large cannon ball so magnetized or polarized or influenced as to

overcome the attraction of the needle for some desirable portion of the

ship. There is also an index connected with the shaft whereby the man at

the wheel can ascertain the position of the shaft and also ascertain

at night whether the ship is advancing or retreating--a thing that he

should inform himself about at the earliest possible moment.

The culinary arrangements on board these ships would make many a hotel

blush, and I have paid $1 a day for a worse room than the choky at the

guard-house.

In the Navy-Yard at Brooklyn is the big iron hull or running gears of

an old ship of some kind which the Republicans were in the habit of

hammering on for a few weeks prior to election every four years. Four

years ago, through an oversight, the workmen were not called off nor

informed of Blaine's defeat for several days after the election..

The Democrats have an entirely different hull in another part of the

yard on which they are hammering.

The keel blocks of a new cruiser, 375 feet long are just laid in the

big ship-house at the Brooklyn Navy-Yard. She will be a very airy and

cheerful boat, I judge, if the keel blocks are anything to go by.

In closing this account I desire to state that I hope I have avoided

the inordinate use of marine terms, as I desire to make myself perfectly

clear to the ordinary landsman, even at the expense of beauty and style

of description. I would rather be thoroughly understood than confuse

the reader while exerting myself to show my knowledge of terms. I also

desire to express my thanks to the United States Navy for its kindness

and consideration during my visit. I could have been easily blown into

space half a dozen times without any opportunity to blow back through

the papers, had the navy so desired, and yet nothing but terms of

endearment passed between the navy and myself.

Lieut. Arthur P. Nazro, Chief Engineer Henry B. Nones, Passed Assistant

Engineer E. A. Magee, Capt. F. H. Harrington, of the United States

Marine Corps; Mr. Gus C. Roeder, Apothecary Henry Wimmer and the dog

Zib, of the Richmond; Master Shipwright McGee, Capt. Miller, captain of

the yard, and Mr. Milligan, apothecary of the Atlanta, deserve honorable

mention for coolness and heroic endurance while I was there.

Bill Nye's Sparks · 第 22 / 55 题