Two young men were riding on a street car which I chanced to squeeze onto
with some 249 other adults.
“I took my first drink last night, Algernon,” said one of the pair.
“Did you, Clarence? Honestly, where did you get it?” queried the other.
“Down at a near beer parlor. It was real near beer, too, with one-half of
one per cent alcohol and everything.”
“I’ve been drinking, too,” said the other; “I had two whole glasses of
near beer the other night. I was going to a party, you know, and wanted
to get plenty of pep.”
“Did you drink your near beer straight, or did you dilute it with water?”
asked Clarence.
“I drank it straight. I wanted to get the full kick. Straight, you know,
with a coupla chasers.”
“I certainly went crazy after I took that drink, though. I thought I was
going to try to sing at first,” said Clarence.
“I hope none of my friends saw the way I acted after I took that near
beer the other night,” Algernon put in. “I went batty right away. I
started telling all sorts of funny jokes and laughing ridiculously. Went
to see my girl immediately after, and she said she could tell I had been
drinking after I told her. She promised not to tell it, though.”
The two young men got off the car about this time, and a grizzled old
dog sitting in front of me bit the neck off a bottle of turpentine
he carried and drank the contents of the bottle. “I heard that pair
talking,” he said.
* * * * *