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OLD SLEUTH'S SPECIAL DETECTIVE SERIES.
PRICE, 25 CENTS.
OSCAR THE DETECTIVE.
By "OLD SLEUTH."
[Illustration: THE DETECTIVE CAUGHT]
OSCAR THE DETECTIVE
OR,
DUDIE DUNNE, THE EXQUISITE DETECTIVE.
An Odd but Stirring Detective Narrative.
By OLD SLEUTH.
Copyright, 1895, by Parlor Car Publishing Company.
All Rights Reserved.
NEW YORK:
J. S. OGILVIE PUBLISHING COMPANY,
57 ROSE STREET.
DUDIE DUNNE, THE EXQUISITE DETECTIVE.
BY OLD SLEUTH.
CHAPTER I.
DUDIE DUNNE PLAYS A GREAT TRICK TO RUN DOWN A
CRIMINAL--AS SIMPLE JOHN HE APPEARS INNOCENT, BUT
WHEN HIS MASK GOES OFF THE "FUR FLIES."
"Oh, fellers, look at this! he's strayed or stolen; let's go for him."
A group of little toughs were gathered at a street corner in a low
locality in the city of New York when a dude of the first water with the
regular Anglo step and exquisite airs walked leisurely down the street
peering through his single eyeglass at the surrounding tenements. He was
a splendid specimen in appearance of the dudie sweet, and the moment the
eyes of the gamins fell upon him they saw a chance for fun. It was at
first intended as a raid for fun, but in the end it became plunder.
The dude walked along until he arrived opposite the spot where the boys
were gathered, where they lay like little Indians in ambush ready to
leap forth to slaughter. The dude stopped short, gazed at them with a
smile which was all simplicity and asked:
"Can you boys tell me where Maggie's aunt lives around here? Tell me and
I'll give you a cent apiece."
"Here!" said one of the boys, and a second queried:
"What is it?"
"Where did this thing drop from?"
"Well, ain't he a sweetie!"
"Oh, dear boys, I am so weary. I've been looking for Maggie's aunt. She
lives somewhere down here. Maggie is our cook and she is under the
weather--yes, very much under the weather--and I agreed to notify her
aunt, but hang me if I can find her aunt. I don't know her aunt's name;
I forgot to ask her what her dear aunt's name is, and all I know is that
she lives down this way somewhere, and she is Maggie's aunt. If you lads
will take me to her I will give you a penny apiece--I will, yes--I am in
earnest--hee, hee, hee!"
The laugh was something to hear, and the lads, all in chorus, imitated
the simpleton's laugh with a "hee, hee, hee!" which sounded very
ridiculous, and the dude said:
"Oh, you rude boys, I really believe you are mocking me--yes, I do. Now
don't be naughty, but come and show me where Maggie's aunt lives--hee,
hee, hee!"
Again the lads in chorus "hee, hee, hee-d."
"Boys, what have we struck?" came the question.
"Now don't be rude, boys, don't be rude, or I will chastise you--yes, I
will chastise you. I don't want to do so, but you may compel me to
chastise you."
The boys just roared at this threat, and one of them stealing behind
the dude gave him a "thumper" with his toe where the exquisite's pants
were drawn the tightest under his long coat.
"Oh, oh, you wicked boy! What do you mean? Stop, I say, stop, or I'll
call the police, yes, I will."
"Say, Dudie, there are no police around here; we slaughtered and burned
'em all last month; you'll find their graves down under the rocks there,
so don't holler."
As the spokesman uttered the words quoted he let drive and knocked off
the dude's hat, which one of the gang immediately appropriated, and then
the onslaught commenced. They just tore at the poor dude as a wolf tears
at a carcass, and in less time than it takes to tell it they had
stripped the poor fellow. One had put on the long coat and commenced to
walk English style, another donned the robbed man's hat, a second
secured the eyeglass, a third his undercoat, a fourth his nobby vest,
and so they stripped him of all his outside apparel, assumed it
themselves, and then the circus commenced. They just paraded around
their poor victim, imitating in a grotesque manner all the airs of a
genuine dudie sweet. Two or three rough-looking men were standing at the
door of a low groggery opposite and they enjoyed the fun and laughed as
merrily as the boys who were conducting the affair. "What have we
struck?" the lads kept repeating, and the dude stood denuded to his
shirt and trousers, appealing to the lads to restore his wardrobe, and
his appeals were pitiable to hear.
"Oh, boys, you good boys, now you've had lots of fun, but dear me, I'll
freeze--yes, it's an awful good joke--hee, hee, hee--but I'll freeze,
and to think, boys, how I look! Why, I'll become a laughing-stock, but
it's an awful good joke--yes, I've enjoyed it; we've had lots of
fun--hee, hee, hee--but now restore my clothing, please do."
The boys instead of returning the dude's clothes began to maltreat him.
They kicked and cuffed him around until one of the men walked over and
said:
"Here, you rascals, stop this now."
Another of the men came, and they seized the lads one after the other,
took the stolen clothes away from them and restored the goods to their
rightful owner. Well, this may appear very nice on the part of the men,
but the sequel will show that they were actuated entirely by selfish
motives. They discerned that the dude might prove good plucking for
themselves, and they were very kind and consoling as they assisted him
to resume his garments and he said:
"Well, we've had lots of fun, the poor dear boys; I did feel as though
they went too far and I should punish them, but I hadn't the heart--no,
I haven't the heart--I am so tender-hearted. I am almost a woman when it
comes to the heart, everybody says so."
The men exchanged winks and laughed. It looked to them as very
ridiculous--this delicate-looking dude punishing that gang of rough and
vigorous gamins.
The dude was speedily re-robed and one of the men said:
"Let's go over and have a drink."
"Thank you, gentlemen, thank you, I am much obliged certainly. We shall
have a drink, but I will treat--yes, I will treat. But didn't we have
fun! and I am so glad I maintained my temper and did not hurt those poor
little boys. It was all play, you know--gentlemen, all play. I enjoyed
it very much--yes, very much."
"They were getting a little rough," said one of the men.
"Yes, but you know I was getting a little rough myself. Really, I hope I
didn't hurt any of them. I didn't mean to. I'm very vigorous, for I
belong to an athletic club. I dare not trust myself to play rough with
men, let alone boys--yes, I didn't dare strike. I didn't want to hurt
any of them."
"You were very gentle," said one of the men.
"I intended to be. Yes, I am as gentle as a lamb unless I am aroused,
then I become a lion--everybody says so--yes, I am very ferocious when I
get mad, and I have to restrain myself."
"I can see you are very powerful. I wouldn't like to provoke you," said
the man with a wink to his companions and an unrestrained look of
contempt.
"I hope you never may. No, I do not like to lose my temper. I become
very rough--yes, very rough indeed, my friends all tell me so; but I
like fun--yes, I am a thoroughbred, I am, clean through. I gamble, I
do--yes, I am a regular sport, and I am so glad I did not hurt any of
those boys."
"Yes, you were very considerate."
"Oh, certainly, I am always considerate--my friends all say so. I am
naturally kind and gentle, but terrible when I get aroused--yes, I am
just awful; so, gentlemen, don't provoke me in any way."
"You can bet we won't provoke you. I tell you I don't want to get it in
the eye from one of those mauleys of yours, and get knocked into the
middle of next week."
"Hee, hee, hee! how observant you are, and now you've really discovered
that I am an athlete! Well, I try not to betray the fact--yes, I am very
careful to not let people know, and I try to keep my temper. I don't
like to get aroused."
The men went into the barroom and the dude called for a bottle of wine,
and the miserable apology for wine was put on the counter. As the dude
pulled forth a big wad of bills to pay for it the eyes of the men
glittered and they exchanged winks and looked longingly at the roll of
greenbacks.
The wine was consumed and the dude ordered segars, and he became quite
talkative and drank a glass of whisky that was placed before him. Then
he became still more talkative, and all the time he was the dude to
perfection and boasted of his powers.
"Do you know," he said, "I once had a run in with ----?"
The man named was a noted boxer.
"How did you come out with him?"
"Oh, I was gentle with him--very gentle. He winked and I understood what
he meant and let up on him and permitted him to punch me. Yes, it was
business with him, you know, and I could have knocked him out before all
his pupils, so I just let him punch me."
"He is a pretty hard hitter they say."
"Oh, no, I didn't mind his blows. He is very active--yes, very active."
"Did he bleed you?"
"Oh, yes, I let him bleed me a little. I was gentle, you know, and I
took a black eye which I carried for a week, and he afterward
apologized. Yes, he was very grateful because I was so gentle and let
him punch me. I spared him, but when I looked in the glass I told him
that next time I'd have to rap back a little."
The men all laughed and one of them said: "I reckon he will not tackle
you again?"
"No, I guess not--hee, hee, hee! I tell you when I threaten a man he
looks out--yes, he does--hee, hee, hee!"
"I reckon you are a lucky gambler."
"You bet I am."
"Yes, you educated fellows are always quick in making combinations. I
like to play with a good player and learn his 'points.' I am always
ready to lose to learn. What do you say for a little game with a light
ante?"
"Well, now see here, I don't want to rob you gentlemen--you've been so
kind to me."
"Oh, we don't mind losing a few dollars. You see, we are contractors.
We do big jobs for the city; we've plenty of money, only we ain't
educated, see, that's all. We've worked our way in the world. We are
self-made men."
"Well, do you know, I've got the highest regard for self-made men. My
daddy was a self-made man. He was a government contractor, and when he
died he left my mamma a million, and it will all come to me some day.
Yes, I am the lucky only child, I am; but I don't want to rob you
gentlemen."
"Oh, we've all plenty of money to lose, and it's an honor to play with a
real gentleman. We don't always have that privilege, and it's real
condescending in you."
"Oh, yes, I am very condescending--yes, yes--hee, hee, hee! But really
I'd only rob you gentlemen. I call you gentlemen because you are
gentlemen. I always judge of a man as I find him, as Bobby Burns bid us
do, see--hee, hee, hee!"
The party had drank several times and the dude began to show the effect
of his drinks. He was a dude as true and genuine as ever lived.
"Let's go upstairs and have a quiet game," said the man; "we don't want
to play down here where we will be disturbed by every low fellow that
comes in. I tell you, gentlemen, we must protect our guest from
annoyance--he is so kind as to give us a game and teach us a few
points."
"Say, gentlemen, I am not aristocratic; I don't put on airs; I'd just as
soon play down here."
"No, it is much nicer upstairs. We can have a quiet game and take our
refreshments," and addressing the bartender the man asked:
"Are you putting up the best every time, Sandy?"
"Sure, I do; I knows me business, I do; I knows when a gentleman stands
in front of the bar."
Young reader, this may be a lonely sort of siren play, but it is true
to life and should prove a lesson. The men were flattering the dude, and
flattery is always based on design and a selfish motive. Beware of the
flatterer in the first place. Eschew gambling--if you are only playing
for fun it costs as much as though you were playing to make money. It is
demoralizing every time, and often leads to greater crime. Gambling is a
very dangerous amusement. These men were working the dude, and it is, as
we have intimated, an actual incident we are describing. The
conversation we reproduce verbatim. They were alluring the young man to
rob him, and if the stake had been big enough these birds of prey would
willingly have murdered their victim in the end to cover up the lesser
crime with the greater, for they were believers in the false logic that
"dead men tell no tales." We say false logic, for dead men, though their
lips are silent, as a rule--ay, almost always--leave silent testimonies
behind that speak for them, and crime is always revealed. The silence of
the murdered is a dangerous release, for murder "will out," though, as
stated, the lips of the victims are sealed in death.
Dudie Dunne played well his part. He did not readily consent to go
upstairs. He was playing a great game, playing on novel plans, taking
great chances, and for the rascals who were alluring him he had a great
surprise in reserve.
After much persuasion he consented to go upstairs, but still continued
to assure the men that he had no idea of robbing them.
"But you will teach us some new points."
"You'll have to watch me then, for I am giving nothing away."
The men ascended to a room on the second floor, a rear room.
The men sat down at a table and Dudie Dunne put on all the airs of a
"Smart Alec" to perfection. The game commenced. Our hero was dealer and
a winner, and the way he "hee, hee, hee-d," as he raked in his pot was
amusing to watch.
The game proceeded for fully half an hour when a most startling
interruption occurred.