SCENE.--_The Meadow. Music. A birthday party in honor of_ LITTLE MISS
MUFFET, _who at the rise of the curtain is discovered on her tuffet,
centre_. _Left, a number of baskets. Dance of the_ SIX LITTLE
DAIRYMAIDS.
MUFFET (_when the dance is done_). That was a beautiful dance, dear
friends. Thank you ever so much. I notice that the four-o’clocks at my
feet are opening, so that it is time for our guests to arrive.
FIRST DAIRYMAID. How fortunate that there are no ugly black clouds in
the sky!
MUFFET. Please, please do not use the word “black” any oftener than you
cannot help. It reminds me of that horrible, crawly, eight-legged
creature who lives in a--ugh!--in a web!
SECOND DAIRYMAID. Pardon me, Miss Muffet, but is it true that the Sp----
I mean that this creature dropped down from a tree the other day and
asked you to be his Queen, and live in his--den?
MUFFET. Yes, yes, of course, it’s true; but change the subject, I beg of
you. (_Enter_, _left_, FLY; _right_, CRICKET. _They advance toward_
MUFFET, _glowering angrily at each other. Each kisses a hand of_ MUFFET
_at the same moment_.) I am so glad you could come, both of you.
FLY (_pointing at_ CRICKET). What is _he_ here for, I’d like to know?
CRICKET (_pointing at_ FLY). And what is _he_ here for, pray?
MUFFET. O, I do hope you won’t quarrel--to-day, especially. I think a
great deal of you both; don’t I, Dairymaids?
DAIRYMAIDS. Of course you do!
FLY. That’s the worst news I could possibly hear, Miss Muffet. Do you
mean to say that you like that plain black fellow better than you do me?
Why, just look at my wings! I really think you might choose me as your
King of the Meadow!
CRICKET. How can you listen to such talk, Miss Muffet? That Fly is
nothing but a vain popinjay, strutting and buzzing around! _He_ can’t
sing. I’m the right kind of King for you, every time!
FLY (_angrily_). Bzzzzzzzzzz!
CRICKET. There! Did you ever hear a more disagreeable racket?
MUFFET (_covering her face with her hands_). O, what shall I do? My
birthday party is being spoiled!
DAIRYMAIDS (_covering their faces with their hands_). Yes, her party is
being spoiled!
(CRICKET _and_ FLY _disdainfully fold their arms, and turn their backs
on each other. Music. Enter, right, in a dignified manner_, WISE MOLE
_and_ THREE FIELD-MICE. _They bow low before_ MISS MUFFET.)
MUFFET. How glad I am to see you, Wise Mole, and you dear counsellors,
the Field-Mice! What should I do without you all to guide me when I get
into trouble?
MOLE. You have evidently been weeping, my dear Queen--and on your
birthday, too! What dreadful thing can have happened? (_Looking about
uneasily._) Surely you have not seen the black Spider again?
MUFFET AND DAIRYMAIDS. O, no, no, no!
MOLE. Tell me about it, whatever it may be.
MUFFET. Why, I cannot make up my mind which I would prefer for a
husband--the Cricket, or the Fly. One has a beautiful song; the other,
beautiful wings. They are both angry, and insist on knowing which one
shall sit upon the tuffet with me.
(MOLE _and_ FIELD-MICE _put their heads together_.)
MOLE. It is our opinion that the tuffet is not big enough for more than
one person, so that neither the Fly nor the Cricket can claim your hand.
Come, be friends! (_Putting the hands of the rivals together. They shake
hands not very cordially, while the_ DAIRYMAIDS _applaud_.)
MUFFET. O goody--goody! Now we can go on in peace! (_Music. Enter,
left_, RABBITS; _right_, FAIRIES. MUFFET _stands up on her tuffet, and
kisses her hands to the newcomers_. CRICKET, _right_; FLY, _left_; MOLE
_and_ FIELD-MICE _right of stage_.) Welcome to my meadow and my party!
DAIRYMAIDS. Welcome! Welcome!
(_Music. Dance of the_ FAIRIES _and the_ RABBITS. _The_ DAIRYMAIDS
_stand in a row at rear, clapping time_.)
MUFFET (_seating herself when the dance is over_). Sit down, my dear
guests, and have some of the curds and whey which the dear Dairymaids
have provided.
(_Music. The_ DAIRYMAIDS _take out from their baskets, left, spoons,
bowls, and jars of curds and whey. They serve_ MUFFET _first.
Rumbling, thundering music._ SPIDER _lets himself down directly over_
MUFFET _by means of his “thread” (rope), and lands at side of Queen,
whom he tries to embrace._ MUFFET _and all her guests jump up,
screaming. Stampede, left._ SPIDER, _quite deserted, seats himself on
the tuffet. Low music._)
SPIDER (_untying the “thread” from his body. The thread is drawn upward,
out of sight_). I’ll have her yet! She’s a pretty little thing. I’m
bound that she shall sit in my parlor and spin for me all day long! My
web shall be the largest and silkiest in the wide world. I have no time
for spinning. I would much rather be eating nice fat flies. I’m hungry
for one at this moment. Ah, but I saw a dainty specimen standing at Miss
Muffet’s side. Burrrrrooooo! I’m furious to think that the Queen and her
guests have escaped me! (FAIRIES _peep out, laughing_.) Who dares to
laugh at Me, the King of the Web? (_The_ FAIRIES _dart out on stage,
right_.)
FIRST ELF. You’re it for tag, Spider, old boy!
(_Exeunt_ FAIRIES, _right_. SPIDER _gives chase. Enter cautiously,
left_, MUFFET _carrying her bowl of curds and whey, and_ FLY. MUFFET
_seats herself on her tuffet, looking about fearfully_.)
MUFFET. Has the horrid thing really gone away?
FLY (_protectingly, but stammering with fright_). Of c-c-course, Miss
Muffet, I-I will pro-protect you. (_He tries to sit on the tuffet._)
MUFFET. No, my dear Fly, there is room for only one on the tuffet, you
know.
FLY. How can I show my great love for you, my Queen of the Meadow?
MUFFET. By slaying the wicked black Spider, who has devoured so many of
your relatives, to say nothing of dragon-flies, caterpillars,
and--crickets.
FLY (_drawing his dagger_). I’ll give battle to the monster at once!
I’ll slay him single-handed, and wrap him up like a mummy in his own
web! Farewell! (_Music._ FLY _kisses the hand of_ MUFFET. _Exit_ FLY,
_right_. MUFFET _goes on eating her curds and whey_.)
CURTAIN.