_A Voice_ (_most important_). Hullo! Is that the Treasury?
_Me_ (_sweetly feminine_). Treasury speaking.
_A V._ (_as if the end of the world was in sight_). I want to speak to
the Prime Minister’s Private Secretary.
_Me._ The Prime Minister’s Private Secretary is engaged. I can put you
through to the Whips’ Office.
_A V._ (_angrily_). I don’t _want_ the Whips’ Office. I want----
_Me._ One moment, please.
[_A good many moments pass._]
_A V._ (_menacing_). Hullo! Hullo! _Hullo!_
_Me_ (_sweetly, as if conferring some priceless boon_). Put _three_
pennies in the slot and _turn_ the handle, please.
_A V._ (_spluttering_). Look here, put me through to the supervisor at
_once_.
_Me_ (_very far off_). Supervisor speaking.
_A V._ (_with suppressed passion, yet pompous withal_). Look here--I’m
a Member of Parliament. I’ve been----
_Me_ (_gently_). Do not shout into the receiver, please.
_A V._ Hullo! I’m a----
_Me._ Do not say “Hullo!”
_A V._ (_maddened_). What’s that? Hullo! Look here--I’m a Member of
Parliament, and I’ve been trying for _half an hour_ to get through to
the Prime Minister’s----
_Me._ I am sorry you have been trrrr-roubled. You are _thrrrrough_ now.
_A V._ Hullo! Is that the Prime Minister’s Private Secretary?
_Me_ (_quiet, weary and competent_). Which one do you want?
_A V._ Hullo! Sir Thingummy Jig speaking. I want to speak to the Prime
Minister’s----
_Me._ Yes, I heard that. But do you want the Principal Private
Secretary, or the Assistant Principal Private Secretary, or one of
the Personal Private Secretaries? I mean there are forty-seven of us
altogether and it makes a lot of difference----
_A V._ (_weakening_). I can’t quite hear. Perhaps you can help me. It’s
about----
_Me._ One moment, please. Here is the Prime Minister himself. Would you
mind speaking to _him_? I’m rather busy.
_A V._ (_awestruck_). Of course.... Hullo!
_Me._ Hullo!... The Prime Minister speaking.... Look here, Jig, I want
to have a word with you. Would you mind holding the line a moment while
I speak to my secretary?
_A V._ (_fawning_). By all means.... There’s no hurry--no hurry at all.
* * * * *
As far as I know the poor fellow is holding still.