INGERSOLL'S LECTURE ON TALMAGIAN THEOLOGY.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Nothing can be more certain than that no human

being can by any possibility control his thought. We are in this

world--we see, we hear, we feel, we taste; and everything in nature

makes an impression upon the brain, and that wonderful something,

enthroned there with these materials, weaves what we call thought, and

the brain can no more help thinking than the heart can help beating.

The blood pursues its old accustomed round without our will. The heart

beats without asking leave of us, and the brain thinks in spite of all

that we can do. This being true, no human being can justly be held

responsible for his thought any more than for the beating of his heart,

any more than for the course pursued by the blood, any more than for

breathing air. And yet for thousands of years thought has been thought

to be a crime, and thousands and millions have threatened us with

eternal fire if we give the product of that brain. Each brain, in my

judgment, is a field where nature sows the seeds of thought, and

thought is the crop that man reaps, and it certainly cannot be a crime

to gather; it certainly cannot be a crime to tell it, which simply

amounts to the right to sell your crop or to exchange your product for

the product of some other man's brain. That is all it is. Most

brains--at least some--are rather poor fields, and the orthodox worst

of all. That field produces mostly sorrel and mullin, while there are

fields which, like the tropic world, are filled with growth, and where

you find the vine and palm, royal children of the sun and brain. I

then stand simply for absolute freedom of thought--absolute; and I

don't believe, if there be a God, that it will be or can be pleasing to

Him to see one of His children afraid to express what he thinks. And,

if I were God, I never would cease making men until I succeeded in

making one grand enough to tell his honest opinion.

Now there has been a struggle, you know, a long time between the

believers in the natural and the supernatural--between gentlemen who

are going to reward us in another world and those who propose to make

life worth living here and now. In all ages the priest, the medicine

man, the magician, the astrologer, in other words, gentlemen who have

traded upon the fear and ignorance of their fellow-man in all

countries--they have sought to, make their living out of others. There

was a time when a God presided over every department of human interest,

when a man about to take a voyage bribed the priest of Neptune so that

he might have a safe journey, and when he came back, he paid more,

telling the priest that he was infinitely obliged to him; that he had

kept waves from the sea and storms in their caves. And so, when one

was sick he went to a priest; when one was about to take a journey he

visited the priest of Mercury; if he were going to war he consulted the

representative of Mars. We have gone along. When the poor

agriculturist plowed his ground and put in the seed he went to the

priest of some god and paid him to keep off the frost. And the priest

said he would do it; "but," added the priest, "you must have faith."

If the frost came early he said, "You didn't have faith." And besides

all that he says to him: "Anything that has happened badly, after all,

was for your good." Well, we found out, day by day, that a good boat

for the purpose of navigating the sea was better than prayers, better

than the influence of priests; and you had better have a good captain

attending to business than thousands of priests ashore praying.

We also found that we could cure some diseases, and just as soon as we

found that we could cure diseases we dismissed the priest. We have

left him out now of all of them, except it may be cholera and smallpox.

When visited by a plague some people get frightened enough to go back

to the old idea--go back to the priest, and the priest says: "It has

been sent as a punishment." Well, sensible people began to look about;

they saw that the good died as readily as the bad; they saw that this

disease would attack the dimpled child in the cradle and allow the

murderer to go unpunished; and so they began to think in time that it

was not sent as a punishment; that it was a natural result; and so the

priest stepped out of medicine.

In agriculture we need him no longer; he has nothing to do with the

crops. All the clergymen in this world can never get one drop of rain

out of the sky; and all the clergymen in the civilized world could not

save one human life if they tried it.

Oh, but they say, "We do not expect a direct answer to prayer; it is

the reflex action we are after." It is like a man endeavoring to lift

himself up by the straps of his boots; he will never do it, but he will

get a great deal of useful exercise.

The missionary goes to some pagan land, and there he finds a man

praying to a god of stone, and it excites the wrath of the missionary.

I ask you tonight, does not that stone god answer prayer just as well

as ours? Does he not cause rain? Does he not delay frost? Does he not

snatch the ones that we love from the grasp of death precisely the same

as ours? Yet we have ministers that are still engaged in that

business. They tell us that they have been "called;" that they do not

go at their profession as other people do, but they are "called;" that

God, looking over the world, carefully selects His priests, His

ministers, and His exhorters.

I don't know. They say their calling is sacred. I say to you tonight

that every kind of business that is honest that a man engages in for

the purpose of feeding his wife and children, for the purpose of

building up his home, for the purpose of feeding and clothing the ones

he loves--that business is sacred. They tell us that statesmen and

poets, philosophers, heroes, and scientists and inventors come by

chance; that all other departments depend entirely upon luck; but when

God wants exhorters He selects.

They also tell us that it is infinitely wicked to attack the Christian

religion, and when I speak of the Christian religion I do not refer

especially to the Christianity of the new testament; I refer to the

Christianity of the orthodox church, and when I refer to the clergy I

refer to the clergy of the orthodox church. There was a time when men

of genius were in the pulpits of the orthodox church; that time is

past. When you find a man with brains now occupying an orthodox pulpit

you will find him touched with heresy--every one of them.

How do they get most of these ministers? There will be a man in the

neighborhood not very well--not having constitution enough to be

wicked, and it instantly suggests itself to everybody who sees him that

he would make an excellent minister. There are so many other

professions, so many cities to be built, so many railways to be

constructed, so many poems to be sung, so much music to be composed, so

many papers to edit, so many books to read, so many splendid things, so

many avenues to distinction and glory, so many things beckoning from

the horizon of the future to every great and splendid man that the

pulpit has to put up with the leavings--ravelings, selvage.

These preachers say, "How can any man be wicked and infamous enough to

attack our religion and take from the world the solace of orthodox

Christianity?" What is that solace? Let us be honest. What is it? If

the Christian religion be true, the grandest, greatest, noblest of the

world are now in hell, and the narrowest and meanest are now in heaven.

Humboldt, the Shakespeare of science, the most learned man of the most

learned nation, with a mind grand enough to grasp not simply this

globe, but this constellation--a man who shed light upon the whole

earth--a man who honored human nature, and who won all his victories on

the field of thought--that man, pure and upright, noble beyond

description, if Christianity be true, is in hell this moment. That is

what they call "solace"--"tidings of great joy." LaPlace, who read the

heavens like an open book, who enlarged the horizon of human thought,

is there too. Beethoven, Master of melody and harmony, who added to the

joy of human life, and who has borne upon the wings of harmony and

melody millions of spirits to the height of joy, with his heart still

filled with melody--he is in hell today. Robert Burns, poet of love

and liberty, and from his heart, like a spring gurgling and running

down the highways, his poems have filled the world with music. They

have added luster to human love. That man who, in four lines, gave all

the philosophy of life--

To make a happy fireside clime

For weans and wife

Is the true pathos and

Sublime Of human life

--he is there with the rest.

Charles Dickens, whose genius will be a perpetual shield, saving

thousands and millions of children from blows, who did more to make us

tender with children than any other writer that ever touched a pen--he

is there with the rest, according to our Christian religion. A little

while ago there died in this country a philosopher--Ralph Waldo

Emerson--a man of the loftiest ideal, a perfect model of integrity,

whose mind was like a placid lake and reflected truths like stars. If

the Christian religion be true, he is in perdition today. And yet he

sowed the seeds of thought, and raised the whole world intellectually.

And Longfellow, whose poems, tender as the dawn, have gone into

millions of homes, not an impure, not a stained word in them all; but

he was not a Christian. He did not believe in the "tidings of great

joy." He didn't believe that God so loved the world that He intended

to damn most everybody. And now he has gone to his reward. And

Charles Darwin--a child of nature--one who knew more about his mother

than any other child she ever had. What is philosophy? It is to

account for phenomena by which we are surrounded--that is, to find the

hidden cord that unites everything. Charles Darwin threw more light

upon the problem of human existence than all the priests who ever lived

from Melchisedec to the last exhorter. He would have traversed this

globe on foot had it been possible to have found one new fact or to

have corrected one error that he had made. No nobler man has lived--no

man who has studied with more reverence (and by reverence I mean simply

one who lives and studies for the truth)--no man who studied with more

reverence than he. And yet, according to orthodox religion, Charles

Darwin is in hell. Consolation!

So, if Christianity be true, Shakespeare, the greatest man who ever

touched this planet, within whose brain were the fruits of all thought

past, the seeds of all to be--Shakespeare, who was an intellectual

ocean toward which all rivers ran, and from which now the isles and

continents of thought received their dew and rain--that man who has

added more to the intelligence of the world than any other who ever

lived--that man, whose creations will live as long as man has

imagination, and who has given more happiness upon the stage and more

instruction than has flown from all the pulpits of this earth--that man

is in hell, too. And Harriet Martineau, who did as much for English

liberty as any man, brave and free--she is there. "George Eliot," the

greatest woman the English-speaking people ever produced--she is with

the rest. And this is called "Tidings of great joy."

Who are in heaven? How could there be much of a heaven without the men

I have mentioned--the great men that have endeavored to make the world

grander--such men as Voltaire, such men as Diderot, such men as the

encyclopedists, such men as Hume, such men as Bruno, such men as Thomas

Paine? If Christianity is true, that man who spent his life in

breaking chains is now wearing the chains of God; that man who wished

to break down the prison walls of tyranny is now in the prison of the

most merciful Christ. It will not do. I can hardly express to you

today my contempt for such a doctrine; and if it be true, I make my

choice today, and I prefer hell.

Who is in heaven? John Calvin! John Knox! Jonathan Edwards!

Torquemada--the builders of dungeons, the men who have obstructed the

march of the human race. These are the men who are in heaven; and who

else? Those who never had brain enough to harbor a doubt. And they ask

me: How can you be wicked enough to attack the Christian religion?

"Oh," but they say, "God will never forgive you if you attack the

orthodox religion." Now, when I read the history of this world, and

when I think of the experience of my fellow-men, when I think of the

millions living in poverty, and when I know that in the very air we

breathe and in the sunlight that visits our homes there lurks an

assassin ready to take our lives, and even when we believe we are in

the fullness health and joy, they are undermining us with their

contagion--when I know that we are surrounded by all these evils, and

when I think of what man has suffered, I do not wonder if God can

forgive man, but I often ask myself, "Can man forgive God?"

There is another thing. Some of these ministers have talked about me,

and have made it their business to say unpleasant things. Among others

the Rev. Mr. Talmage, of Brooklyn--a man of not much imagination, but

of most excellent judgment--charges that I am a "blasphemer." A

frightful charge! Terrible, if true! What is blasphemy? It is a sin,

as I understand, against God. Is God infinite? He is, so they say; He

is infinite; absolutely conditionless? Can I injure the conditionless?

No. Can I sin against anything that I cannot injure? No. That is a

perfectly plain proposition. I can injure my fellow-man, because he is

a conditioned being, and I can help to change those conditions. He

must have air; he must have food, he must have clothing; he must have

shelter; but God is conditionless, and I cannot by any possibility

affect Him. Consequently I cannot sin against Him. But I can sin

against my fellow-man, so that I ought to be a thousand times more

careful of doing injustice than of uttering blasphemy. There is no

blasphemy but injustice, and there is no worship except the practice of

justice. It is a thousand times more important that we should love our

fellow-men than that we should love God. It is better to love wife and

children than to love Jesus Christ, He is dead; they are alive. I can

make their lives happy and fill all their hours with the fullness of

joy. That is my religion; and the holiest temple ever erected beneath

the stars is the home; the holiest altar is the fireside.

What is this blasphemy? First, it is a geographical question. There

was a time when it was blasphemy in Jerusalem to say that Christ was

God. In this country it is now blasphemy to say that He was not. It

is blasphemy in Constantinople to deny that Mahomet was the Prophet of

God; it is blasphemy here to say that he was. It is a geographical

question; you cannot tell whether it is blasphemy or not without

looking at the map. What is blasphemy? It is what the mistake says

about the fact. It is what the last year's leaf says about this year's

bud. It is the last cry of the defeated priest. Blasphemy is the

little breast-work behind which hypocrisy hides; behind which mental

impotency feels safe. There is no blasphemy but the avowal of thought,

and he who speaks what he thinks blasphemes.

That I have had the hardihood--it doesn't take much--to attack the

sacred scriptures. I have simply given my opinion; and yet they tell

me that that book is holy--that you can take rags, make pulp, put ink

on it, bind it in leather, and make something holy. The Catholics have

a man for a pope; the Protestants have a book. The Catholics have the

best of it. If they elect an idiot he will not live forever, and it is

impossible for us to get rid of the barbarisms in our book. The

Catholics said, "We will not let the common people read the bible."

That was right. If it is necessary to believe it in order to get to

heaven no man should run the risk of reading it. To allow a man to

read the bible on such conditions is to set a trap for his soul. The

right way is never to open it, and when you get to the day of judgment,

and they ask you if you believe it say "Yes, I have never read it."

The Protestant gives the book to a poor man and says: "Read it. You

are at liberty to read it." "Well, suppose I don't believe it, when I

get through?" "Then you will be damned." No man should be allowed to

read it on those conditions. And yet Protestants have done that

infinitely cruel thing. If I thought it was necessary to believe it I

would say never read another line in it but just believe it and stick

to it. And yet these people really think that there is something

miraculous about the book. They regard it as a fetish--a kind of

amulet--a something charmed, that will keep off evil spirits, or bad

luck, stop bullets, and do a thousand handy-things for the preservation

of life.

I heard a story upon that subject. You know that thousands of them are

printed in the Sunday-school books. Here is one they don't print.

There was a poor man who had belonged to the church, but he got cold,

and he rather neglected it, and he had bad luck in his business, and he

went down and down and down until he hadn't a dollar--not a thing to

eat; and his wife said to him, "John, this comes of you having

abandoned the church, this comes of your having done away with family

worship. Now, I beg of you, let's go back." Well, John said it

wouldn't do any harm to try. So he took down the bible, blew the dust

off it, read a little from a chapter, and had family worship. As he

was putting it up he opened it again, and there was a $10 bill between

the leaves. He rushed out to the butcher's and bought meat, to the

grocer's and bought tea and bread, and butter and eggs, and rushed back

home and got them cooked, and the house was filled with the perfume of

food; and he sat down at the table, tears in every eye and a smile on

every face. She said, "What did I tell you?" Just then there was a

knock on the door, and in came a constable, who arrested him for

passing a $10 counterfeit bill.

They tell me that I ought not to attack the bible--that I have

misrepresented it, and among other things that I have said that,

according to the bible, the world was made of nothing. Well, what was

it made of? They say God created everything. Consequently, there must

have been nothing when He commenced. If he didn't make it of nothing,

what did he make it of? Where there was, nothing, He made something.

Yes; out of what? I don't know. This doctor of divinity, and I should

think such a divinity would need a doctor, says that God made the

universe out of His omnipotence. Why not out of His omniscience, or

His omnipresence? Omnipotence is not a raw material. It is the

something to work raw material with. Omnipotence is simply all

powerful, and what good would strength do with nothing? The weakest

man ever born could lift as much nothing as God. And he could do as

much with it after he got it lifted. And yet a doctor of divinity tells

me that this world was made of omnipotence. And right here let me say

I find even in the mind of the clergymen the seeds of infidelity. He

is trying to explain things. That is a bad symptom. The greater the

miracle the greater the reward for believing it. God cannot afford to

reward a man for believing anything reasonable. Why, even the scribes

and Pharisees would believe a reasonable thing. Do you suppose God is

to crown you with eternal joy and give you a musical instrument for

believing something where the evidence is clear? No, sir. The larger

the miracle the more grace. And let me advise the ministers of Chicago

and of this country, never to explain a miracle; it cannot be

explained. If you succeed in explaining it, the miracle is gone. If

you fail you are gone. My advice to the clergy is, use assertion; just

say "it is so," and the larger the miracle the greater the glory reaped

by the eternal. And yet this man is trying to explain, pretending that

He had some raw material of some kind on hand. And then I objected to

the fact that He didn't make the sun until the fourth day, and that,

consequently, the grass could not have grown--could not have thrown its

mantle of green over the shoulders of the hill--and that the trees

would not blossom and cast their shade upon the sod without some

sunshine; and what does this man say? Why, that the rocks, when they

crystallized, emitted light, even enough to raise a crop by. And he

says "vegetation might have depended on the glare of volcanoes in the

moon." What do you think would be the fate of agriculture depending on

the "glare of volcanoes in the moon?" Then he says "the aurora

borealis." Why, you couldn't raise cucumbers by the aurora borealis.

And he says "liquid rivers of molten granite." I would like to have a

farm on that stream. He guesses everything of the kind except

lightning-bugs and foxfire. Now, think of that explanation in the last

half of the nineteenth century by a minister. The truth is, the

gentleman who wrote the account knew nothing of astronomy--knew as

little as the modern preacher does--just about the same; and if they

don't know more about the next world than they do about this, it is

hardly worth while talking with them on the subject. There was a time,

you know, when the minister was the educated man in the country, and

when, if you wanted to know anything, you asked him. Now you do if you

don't. So I find this man expounding the flood, and he says it was not

very wet. He begins to doubt whether God had water enough to cover the

whole earth. Why not stand by his book? He says that some of the

animals got into the ark to keep out of the wet. I believe that is the

way the Democrats got to the polls last Tuesday.

Another divine says that God would have drowned them all, but it was

purely for the sake of economy that He saved any of them. Just think

of that! According to this Christian religion all the people in the

world were totally depraved through the fall, and God found he could

not do anything with them, so he drowned them. Now, if God wanted to

get up a flood big enough to drown sin, why did He not get up a flood

big enough to drown the snake? That was His mistake. Now, these

people say that if Jonah had walked rapidly up and down the whale's

belly he would have avoided the action of its gastric-juice. Imagine

Jonah sitting in the whale's mouth, on the back of a molar-tooth; and

yet this doctor of divinity would have us believe that the infinite God

of the universe was sitting under his gourd and made the worm that was

at the root of Jonah's vine. Great business.

David is said to have been a man after God's own heart, and if you will

read the twenty-eighth chapter of Chronicles you will find that David

died full of years and honors. So I find in the great book of

prophecy, concerning Solomon: "He shall reign in peace and quietness,

he shall be my son, and I shall be his father, and I will preserve his

Kingdom." Was that true?

It won't do. But they say God couldn't do away with slavery suddenly,

nor with polygamy all at once--that He had to do it gradually--that if

He had told this man you mustn't have slaves, and one man that he must

have one wife, and one wife that she must have one husband, He would

have lost the control over them notwithstanding all the miraculous

power. Is it not wonderful that when they did all these miracles

nobody paid any attention to them? Isn't it wonderful that, in Egypt,

when they performed these wonders--when the waters were turned into

blood, when the people were smitten with disease and covered with the

horrible animals--isn't it wonderful that it had no influence on them?

Do you know why all these miracles didn't affect the Egyptians? They

were there at the time. Isn't it wonderful, too, that the Jews who had

been brought from bondage--had followed a cloud by day and a pillar of

fire by night--who had been miraculously fed, and for whose benefit

water had leaked from the rocks and followed them up and down hill

through all their journeying--isn't it wonderful, when they had seen

the earth open and their companions swallowed, when they had seen God

Himself write in robes of flames from Sinai's crags, when they had seen

Him talking face to face with Moses--isn't it a little wonderful that

He had no more influence over them? They were there at the time. And

that is the reason they didn't mind it--they were there. And yet, with

all these miracles, this God could not prevent polygamy and slavery.

Was there no room on the two tables of stone to put two more

commandments? Better have written them on the back, then. Better have

left the others all off and put these two on. Man shall not enslave

his brother, (you shall not live on unpaid labor), and the one man

shall have the one wife. If these two had been written and the other

ten left off, it would have been a thousand times better for this world.

But, they say, God works gradually. No hurry about it. He is not

gradual about keeping Sunday, because, if He met a man picking up

sticks, He killed Him; but in other things He is gradual. Suppose we

wanted now to break certain cannibals of eating missionaries--wanted to

stop them from eating them raw? Of course we would not tell them, in

the first place, it was wrong. That would not do. We would induce them

to cook them. That would be the first step toward civilization. We

would have them stew them. We would not say it is wrong to eat

missionary, but it is wrong to eat missionary raw. Then, after they

began stewing them, we would put in a little mutton--not enough to

excite suspicion but just a little, and so, day by day, we would put in

a little more mutton and a little less missionary until, in about what

the bible calls "the fullness of time," we would have clear mutton and

no missionary. That is God's way. The next great charge against me is

that I have disgraced my parents by expressing my honest thoughts. No

man can disgrace his parents that way. I want my children to express

their real opinions, whether they agree with mine or not. I want my

children to find out more than I have found, and I would be gratified

to have them discover the errors I have made. And if my father and

mother were still alive I feel and know that I am pursuing a course of

which they would approve. I am true to my manhood. But think of it!

Suppose the father of Dr. Talmage had been a Methodist and his mother

an infidel. Then what. Would he have to disgrace them both to be a

Presbyterian. The disciples of Christ, according to this doctrine,

disgraced their parents. The founder of every new religion, according

to this doctrine, was a disgrace to his father and mother. Now there

must have been a time when a Talmage was not a Presbyterian, and the

one that left something else to join that church disgraced his father

and mother. Why, if this doctrine be true why do you send missionaries

to other lands and ask those people to disgrace their parents? If this

doctrine be true nobody has religious liberty except foundlings, and it

should be written over every Foundling Hospital: "Home for Religious

Liberty." It won't do.

What is the next thing I have said? I have taken the ground, and I

take it again today, that the bible has only words of humiliation for

woman. The bible treats woman as the slave, the serf of man, and

wherever that book is believed in thoroughly woman is a slave. It is

the infidelity in the church that gives her what liberty she has today.

Oh! but, says the gentleman, think of the heroines in the bible. How

could a book be opposed to woman which has pictured such heroines?

Well, that is a good argument. Let's answer it. Who are the heroines?

He tells us. The first is Esther. Who was she? Esther is a very

peculiar book, and the story is about this: Ahasaerus was a king. His

wife's name was Vashti. She didn't please him. He divorced her, and

advertised for another. A gentleman by the name of Mordecai had a good

looking niece, and he took her to market. Her name was Esther. I

don't feel like reading the whole of the second chapter. It is

sufficient to say she was selected. After a time there was a gentleman

by the name of Haman who, I should think, was in the cabinet, according

to the story. And this man Mordecai began to put on considerable style

because his niece was the king's wife, and he would not bow, or he

would not rise, or he would not meet this gentleman with marks of

distinguished consideration, so he made up his mind to have him hung.

Then they got out an order to kill the Jews, and this Esther went to

see the king. In those days they believed in the Bismarkian style of

government--all power came from the king, not from the people; if

anybody went to see this king without an invitation, and he failed to

hold out his sceptre to him, the person was killed just to preserve the

dignity of the monarch. When Esther arrived he held out the sceptre,

and there-upon she induced him to send out another order for the

fellows who were to kill the Jews, and they killed 75,000 or 80,000 of

them. And they came back and said, "Kill Haman and his ten sons," and

they hung the family up. That is all there is to the story. And yet

this Esther is held up as a model of womanly grace and tenderness, and

there is not a more infamous story in the literature of the world.

The next heroine is Ruth. I admit, that is a very pretty story. But

Ruth was guilty of more things that would be deemed indiscreet than any

girl in Brooklyn. That is all there is about Ruth. The next heroine

is Hannah. And what do you suppose was the matter with her? She made a

coat for her boy; that's all. I have known a woman make a whole suit!

The next heroine was Abigail. She was the wife of Natal. King David

had a few soldiers with him, and he called at the house of Natal, and

asked if he could not get food for his men. Abigail went down to give

him something to eat, and she was very much struck with David, David

evidently fancied her. Natal died within a week. I think he was

poisoned. David and Abigail were married. If that had happened in

Chicago there would have been a coroner's jury, and an inquest; but

that is all there was to that.

The next is Dorcas. She was in the new testament. She was real good

to the ministers. Those ladies have always stood well with the church.

She was real good to the poor. She died one day, and you never hear of

her again.

Then there was that person that was raised from the dead. I would like

to know from a person that had recently been raised from the dead,

where he was when he was wanted, what he was traveling about, and what

he was engaged in. I cannot imagine a more interesting person than one

that has just been raised from the dead. Lazarus comes from the tomb,

and I think sometimes that there must be a mistake about it, because

when they come to die again thousands of people would say, "Why, he

knows all about it!" Would it not be noted if a man had two funerals?

Now, then, these are all the heroines, to show you how little they

thought of woman in that day. In the days of the old testament they

did not even tell us when the mother of us all (Eve) died, nor where

she is buried, nor anything about it. They do not even tell us where

the mother of Christ sleeps, nor when she died. Never is she spoken of

after the morning of the resurrection. He who descended from the cross

went not to see her; and the son had no word for the broken-hearted

mother.

The story is not true. I believe Christ was a great and good man, but

He had nothing about Him miraculous except the courage to tell what he

thought about the religion of His day. The new testament, in relating

what occurred between Christ and his mother, mentions three instances;

once, when they thought He had been lost in Jerusalem, when He said to

them, "Wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" Next,

at the marriage of Cana, when He said to the woman, "What have I to do

with thee?"--words which He never said; and again from the cross,

"Mother, behold Thy Son;" and to the disciple, "Behold thy Mother!"

So of Mary Magdalene. In some respects there is no character in the

new testament that so appeals to us as loving Christ--first at the

sepulchre--and yet when He meets her after the resurrection He had for

her the comfort only of the chilling words, "Touch me not!" I don't

believe it. There were thousands of heroic women then. There are

heroic women now. Think of the women who cling to fallen and disgraced

husbands day by day, until they reach the gutter, and who stoop down to

lift them from that position, and raise them up to be men once more!

Every country is civilized in proportion as it honors woman. There are

women in England working in mines, deformed by labor, that would become

wild beasts were it not for the love they bear for home. Can you find

among the women of the new testament any women that can equal the women

born of Shakespeare's brain? You can find no woman like Isabella,

where reason and purity blend into perfect truth; no woman like Juliet,

where passion and purity meet like red and white within the bosom of a

flower; no woman like Imogen, who said, "What is it to be false?" No

woman like Cordelia, that would not show her wealth of love in hope of

gain; nor like Hermione, who bore the cross of shame for years; nor

like Miranda, who told her love as the flower exposes its bosom to the

sun; nor like Desdemona, who was so pure that she could not suspect

that another could suspect her of a crime.

And we are told that woman sinned first and man second; that man was

made first and woman not till afterwards. The idea is that we could

have gotten along without the woman well enough, but they never could

have gotten along without us. I tell you that love is better than

piety, love is better than all the ceremonial worship of the world, and

it is better to love something than to believe anything on this globe.

So this minister, seeking a mark to throw an arrow somewhere--trying to

find some little place in the armor--charges me with having disparaged

Queen Victoria. That you know is next to blasphemy. Well, I never did

anything of the kind--never said a word against her in in life, neither

as wife, or mother, or Queen--never doubted but that she is a good

woman enough, and I have always admitted that her reputation was good

in the neighborhood where she resides. I never had any other opinion.

All I said in the world was--I was endeavoring to show that we are now

to have an aristocracy of brain and heart--that is all--and I said,

'speaking of Louis Napoleon, he was not satisfied with simply being an

emperor and having a little crown on his head, but wanted to prove that

he had something in his head, so he wrote the life of Julius Caesar,

and that made him a member of the French Academy; and speaking of King

William, upon whose head is the divine petroleum of authority, I asked

how he would like to exchange brains with Haeckel, the philosopher.

Then I went over to England, and said "Queen Victoria wears the garment

of power given her by blind fortune, by eyeless chance; 'George Eliot'

is arrayed in robes of glory, woven in the loom of her own genius."

Thereupon I am charged with disparaging a woman. And this priest, in

order to get even with me, digs open the grave of "George Eliot" and

endeavors to stain her unresisting dust. He calls her an

adulteress--the vilest word in the languages of men--and he does it

because she hated the Presbyterian creed, because she, according to his

definition, was an atheist, because she lived without faith and died

without fear, because she grandly bore the taunts and slanders of the

Christian world. "George Eliot" carried tenderly in her heart the

faults and frailties of her race. She saw the highway of eternal right

through all the winding paths, where folly vainly stalks with

thorn-pierced hands, the fading flowers of selfish joy; and whatever

you may think or I may think of the one mistake in all her sad and

loving life, I know and feel that in the court where her conscience sat

as judge she stood acquitted, pure as light and stainless as a star.

"George Eliot" has joined the choir invisible whose music is the

gladness of this world, and her wondrous lines, her touching poems,

will be read hundreds of years after every sermon in which a priest has

sought to stain her name shall have vanished utterly from human speech.

How appropriate here, with some slight change, the words of Laertes at

Ophelia's grave:

Lay her in the earth; And from her fair and unpolluted flesh May

violets spring; I tell thee, priest and minister, A ministering angel

shall this woman be When thou liest howling.

I have no words with which to express my loathing hatred and

condemnation of the man who will stain a noble woman's grave.

The next argument in favor of the "sacred scriptures" is the argument

of numbers; and this minister congratulates himself that the infidels

could not carry a precinct, or a county, or a state in the United

States. Well, I tell you, they can come proportionately near it--just

in proportion that that part of the country is educated. The whole

world doesn't move together in one life. There has to be some man to

take a step forward and the people follow; and when they get where that

man was, some other Titan has taken another step, and you can see him

there on the great mountain of progress. That is why the world moves.

There must be pioneers, and if nobody is right except he who is with

the majority, then we must turn and walk toward the setting sun. He

says "We will settle this by suffrage." The Christian religion was

submitted to a popular vote in Jerusalem, and what was the result?

"Crucify Him "--an infamous result, showing that you can't depend on

the vote of barbarians. But I am told that there are 300,000,000

Christians in the world. Well, what of it? There are more Buddhists.

And they say, what a number of bibles are printed!--more bibles than

any other book. Does this prove anything? True, because more of them.

Suppose you should find published in the New York Herald something

about you, and you should go to the editor and tell him: "That is a

lie;" and he should say: "That can't be; the Herald has the largest

circulation of any paper in the world." Three hundred millions of

Christians, and here are the nations that prove the truth of

Christianity: Russia 80,000,000 Christians. I am willing to admit it;

a country without freedom of speech, without freedom of press--a

country in which every mouth is a Bastille and every tongue a prisoner

for life--a country in which assassins are the best men in it. They

call that Christian. Girls sixteen years of age, for having spoken in

favor of human liberty, are now working in Siberian mines. That is a

Christian country. Only a little while ago a man shot at the emperor

twice. The emperor was protected by his armor. The man was convicted,

and they asked him if he wished religious consolation. "No." "Do you

believe in a God?" "No;" if there was a God there would be no Russia.

Sixteen millions of Christians in Spain--Spain that never touched a

shore except as a robber--Spain that took the gold and silver of the

new world and used it as an engine of oppression in the old--a country

in which cruelty was worship, in which murder was prayer--a country

where flourished the Inquisition--I admit Spain is a Christian country.

If you don't believe it I do. Read the history of Holland, read the

history of South America, read the history of Mexico--a chapter of

cruelty beyond the power of language to express. I admit that Spain is

orthodox. If you will go there you will find the man who robs you and

asks God to forgive you--a country where infidelity hasn't made much

headway, but, thank God, where there is even yet a dawn, where there

are such men as Castelar and others, who begin to see that one

schoolhouse is equal to three cathedrals and one teacher worth all the

priests.

Italy is another Christian nation, with 28,000,000 Christians. In

Italy lives the only authorized agent of God, the pope. For hundreds

of years Italy was the beggar of the earth, and held out both hands.

Gold and silver flowed from every land into her palms, and she became

covered with nunneries, monasteries, and the pilgrims of the world.

Italy was sacred dust. Her soil was a perpetual blessing, her sky was

an eternal smile. Italy was guilty not simply of the death of the

Catholic church, but Italy was dead and buried and would have been in

her grave still had it not been for Mazzini, Garibaldi, and Cavour.

When the prophecy of Garibaldi shall be fulfilled, when the priests,

with spades in their hands, shall dig ditches to drain the Pontine

marshes, when the monasteries shall be factories, when the whirling

wheels of industry shall drown the drowsy and hypocritical prayers,

then and not till then, will Italy be great and free. Italy is the

only instance in our history and in the history of the world, so far as

we know, of the resurrection of a nation. She is the first fruits of

them that sleep.

Portugal is another Christian country. She made her living in the

slave trade for centuries. I admit that all the blessings that that

country enjoyed flowed naturally from Catholicism, and we believe in

the same scriptures. If you don't believe it, read the history of the

persecution of the Jewish people. I admit that Germany is a Christian

nation; that is, Christians are in power. When the bill was introduced

for the purpose of ameliorating the condition of the Jews, Bismark

spoke against it, and said "Germany is a Christian nation, and

therefore, we cannot pass the bill." Austria is another Christian

nation. If you don't believe it, read the history of Hungary, and, if

you still have doubts, read the history of the partition of Poland.

But there is one good thing in that country. They believe in education,

and education is the enemy of ecclesiasticism. Every thoroughly

educated man is his own church, and his own pope, and his own priest.

They tell me that the United States--our country--is Christian. I deny

it. It is neither Christian nor pagan; it is human. Our fathers

retired all the gods from politics. Our fathers laid down the doctrine

that the right to govern comes from the consent of the governed, and

not from the clouds. Our fathers knew that if they put an infinite God

in the Constitution there would be no room left for the people. Our

fathers used the language of Lincoln, and they made a government for

the people by the people. This is not a Christian country. Some

gentleman said, "How about Delaware?" I told him there was a man in

Washington some twenty or thirty years ago who came there and said he

was a Revolutionary soldier and wanted a pension. He was so bent and

bowed over that the wind blew his shoestrings into his eyes. They

asked him how old he was, and he said fifty years. "Why, good man, you

can't get a pension, because the war was over before you were born.

You mustn't fool us." "Well," said he, "I'll tell you the truth: I

lived sixty years in Delaware, but I never count it, and hope God

won't." And these Christian nations which have been brought forward as

the witnesses of the truth of the scriptures owe $25,000,000,000, which

represents Christian war, Christian cannon, Christian shot, and

Christian shell. The sum is so great that the imagination is dazed in

its contemplation. That is the result of loving your neighbor as

yourself.

The next great argument brought forward by these gentlemen is the

persecution of the Jews. We are told in the nineteenth century that

God has the Jews persecuted simply for the purpose of establishing the

authenticity of the scriptures, and every Jewish home burned in Russia

throws light on the gospel, and every violated Jewish maiden is another

evidence that God still takes an interest in the holy scriptures. That

is their doctrine. They are "fulfilling prophecy." The Christian

grasps the Jew, strips him, robs him, makes him an outcast, and then

points to him as a fulfillment of prophecy; and we are today laying the

foundation of future persecution--we are teaching our children the

monstrous falsehood that Jews crucified God, and the nation consented.

They crucified a good man. What nation has not? What race has not?

Think of the number killed by the Presbyterians; by the Catholics.

Every sect, with maybe two or three exceptions, have crucified their

fellows, and every race has burned its greatest and its best. And yet

we are filling the minds of children with hatred of the Jewish people.

It is a poor business. "Ah?" but they say, "these people are cursed by

God." I say they never had any good fortune until the Jehovah of the

bible deserted them. Whenever they have had a reasonable chance they

have been the most prosperous people in the world. I never saw one

begging. I never saw one in the criminal dock. For hundreds of years

they were not allowed to own any land, for hundreds of years they were

not allowed to work at any trade; they were driven simply to dealing in

money, and in precious stones, and things of that character, and, by a

kind of poetic justice, they have today the control of the money of the

world. I am glad to see that kings and emperors go to the offices of

the Jews, with their hats in their hands, to have their notes

discounted. And yet I am told by clergymen that all this infamy has

been kept up simply to establish the truth of the gospel. I despise

such doctrine. As long as the liberty of one Jew is unsafe, my liberty

is not secure. Liberty for all, and not until then will the liberty of

any be assured. "Ah"; but says this man, "nobody ever died cheerfully

for a lie. The Jewish people have suffered persecution for 1,600

years, and they have suffered it cheerfully." If this doctrine is true,

then Judaism must be true and Christianity must be false. But

martyrdom doesn't prove the truth if the martyr knows it. It simply

proves the barbarity of his persecutors, and has no sincerity. That is

all it proves.

But you must remember that this gentleman who believes in this doctrine

is a Presbyterian, and why should a Presbyterian object? After a few

hundred years of burning he expects to enjoy the eternal auto da fe of

hell--an auto da fe that will be presided over by God and His angels,

and they will be expected to applaud. He is a Presbyterian; and what

is that? It is the worst religion of this earth. I admit that

thousands and millions of Presbyterians are good people, no man ever

being half so bad as his creed. I am not attacking them. I am

attacking their creed. I am attacking what this religion calls

"Tidings of great joy." And, according to that, hundreds of billions

and billions of years ago our fate was irrevocably and forever fixed,

and God in the secret counsels of His own inscrutable will, made up His

mind whom He would save and whom He would damn. When thinking of that

God I always think of the mistake of a Methodist preacher during the

war. He commenced the prayer--and never did one more appropriate for

the Presbyterian God or the Methodist go up--"O, Thou great and

unscrupulous God." This Presbyterian believes that billions of years

before that baby in the cradle--that little dimpled child, basking in

the light of a mother's smile--was born, God had made up His mind to

damn it; and when Talmage looks at one of those children who will

probably be damned he is cheerful about it; he enjoys it. That is

Presbyterianism--that God made man and damned him for His own glory. If

there is such a God, I hate Him with every drop of my blood; and if

there is a heaven it must be where He is not. Now think of that

doctrine! Only a little while ago there was a ship from Liverpool out

eighty days with its rudder washed away; for ten days nothing to

eat--nothing but the bare decks and hunger; and the captain took a

revolver in his hand and put it to his brain and said: "Some of us must

die for the others. And it might as well be I." One of his companions

grasped the pistol and said: "Captain, wait; wait one day more. We can

live another day." And the next morning the horizon was rich with a

sail, and they were saved. And yet if Presbyterianism is true; if that

man had put the bullet through his infinitely generous brain so that

his comrades could have eaten of his flesh and reached their homes and

felt about their necks the dimpled arms of children and the kisses of

wives upon their lips--if Presbyterianism be true, God had a constable

ready there to clutch that soul and thrust it down to eternal hell.

Tidings of great joy. And yet this is religion. Why, if that doctrine

be true, every soldier in the Revolutionary War who died not a

Christian has been damned; every one in the War of 1812, who kept our

flag upon the sea, if he died not a Christian has been damned; and

every one in the Civil War who fought to keep our flag in heaven, not a

Christian, and the ones who died in Andersonville and Libby, not

Christians, are now in the prison of God, where the famine of

Andersonville and Libby would be regarded as a joy. Orthodox

Christianity! Why, we have an account in the bible--it comes from the

other world--from both countries--from heaven and from hell--let us see

what it is. Here is a rich man who dies. The only fault about him

was, he was rich; no other crime was charged against him. We are told

that the rich man died, and when he lifted up his eyes he found no

sympathy, yet even in hell he remembered his five brethren, and prayed

that some one should be sent to them so that they should not come

there. I tell you I had rather be in hell with human sympathy than in

heaven without it.

The bible is not inspired, and ministers know nothing about another

world. They don't know. I am satisfied there is no world of eternal

pain. If there is a world of joy, so much the better. I have never

put out the faintest star of human hope that ever trembled in the night

of life. There was a time when I was not; after that I was; now I am.

And it is just as probable that I will live again as it was that I

could have lived before I did. Let it go. Ah! but what will life be?

The world will be here. Men and women will be here. The page of

history will be open. The walls of the world will be adorned with art,

the niches with sculpture; music will be here, and all there is of life

and joy. And there will be homes here, and the fireside, and there

will be a common hope without a common fear. Love will be here, and

love is the only bow on life's dark cloud. Love was the first to dream

of immortality. Love is the morning and evening star. It shines upon

the child; it sheds its radiance upon the peaceful tomb. Love is the

mother of beauty--the mother of melody, for music is its voice. Love

is the builder of every hope, the kindler of every fire on every

hearth. Love is the enchanter, the magician that changes worthless

things to joy, and makes right royal kings and queens out of common

clay. Love is the perfume of that wondrous flower the heart. Without

that divine passion, without that divine sway, we are less than beasts,

and with it earth is heaven and we are gods.

Lectures of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Volume I Including His Answers to the Clergy, His Oration at His Brother's Grave, Etc., Etc. · 第 16 / 33 题