How vast the rooms appeared to me, how endless the main passages, after
the dimensions long familiar at Tossil's Barton, and Mrs. Shelfer's. I
even feared to lose the way, where my childish feet had measured every
step. First I hurried to my own snug room, or rooms--for I had parlour
and bedroom adjoining--in the western wing, where mother used to live.
Everything there was in beautiful order, a lamp and a good fire lighted;
and Matilda Jenkins met me at the door.
Directly after our departure for Devonshire, Mr. Vaughan had thought fit
to discharge all the old servants, except the housekeeper and Matilda.
They were all in league against him, for they could not bear that the
"rightful owners," whom they had known so long, should be ejected.
Moreover, his discipline was far more stern than ours; for my father and
mother had always ruled by love. The housekeeper, a great friend of
mine, was retained from respect and policy, and poor Tilly (who entered
life through a dust-bin) from contempt of her insignificance. By that
time she had risen to the rank of scullery-maid and deputy dishwasher;
now she had climbed in the social scale to the position of
under-housemaid.
"Why, Matilda, how well you look, and how smart! I declare you are
getting quite tall. I suppose the new times agree with you better than
the old."
"Oh don't say that, Miss Clara, please don't! I'd tear the gownd off my
back"--looking savagely at the neat print--"if I thought it make you
think that. No, I gets a little more wages, but a deal more work, and I
never gets a kind word. Oh it does my heart good to see you here again,
in your own house, Miss Clara dear, and evil to them as drove you
out"--and she lifted the corner of her new white muslin apron;--"and I
have tended your rooms all myself, though it wasn't in my part, and
never let no one else touch them, ever since I was took from the
kitchen, and always a jug full of flowers, Miss, because you was so fond
of them."
"Thank you, Matilda. How kind of you, to be sure!"
"Many's the time I've cried over them, Miss, and the new shilling you
give me, when we was little girls together. But please to call me
'Tilly,' Miss, the same as you always used."
"I can't stop to talk to you now, Tilly; how is Mrs. Fletcher?"
"Quite hearty, Miss, all but the rheumatics. Ah, she do suffer terrible
from them. Us both waited up, Miss, and I to and fro the door, till the
carriage come home; and then she went off to bed, and I was up with her,
and never knowed when you come. But she's getting up now, Miss, to come
here to see you."
"Go and stop her, at once. I will see her to-morrow. Stop, show me
first your master's room; knock gently and bring out the nurse. The
doctor is gone I believe."
"Yes, Miss, he left here at eight o'clock, for he had a long way to
drive, and he couldn't do nothing more. But you must not go, Miss, oh
pray, Miss, don't go there!"
We went along the passage, until we came to the door. I was surprised
to see a new door across the lobby, very closely fitted. There was an
inner door also, and the nurse did not seem very wakeful. Instead of
knocking again, Matilda retreated hastily. At last the nurse appeared,
and I found her to be a very respectable woman, who had been with my
mother, through several attacks of illness. A dark suspicion, which I
had scarcely confessed to myself, was partly allayed hereby. After
whispering for a few moments, she led me into the dimly lighted room,
and to my uncle's bed.
I started back in terror. Prepared as I was for a very great change,
what I saw astounded me. The face so drawn and warped aside, withered
and yet pulpy, with an undercast of blue; the lines of the mouth so
trenched and livid, that the screwed lips were like a bull's-eye in a
blue diamond pane; and the hair, so dark and curly when last I saw him,
now shredded in patches of waxy gray. The only sign of life I saw, was
a feeble twitching of the bed-clothes, every now and then. The poor
eyes were closed, hard, and wrinkled round; one wasted arm lay on the
quilt, the hand bent up at the wrist, the fingers clutched yet flabby,
and as cold as death. It was a sight for human pride to cower at, and
be quelled.
"Is he like this always?"
"No," she replied, "but he has been so now for ten hours and more:
generally he is taken with pain and thirst, every six hours; and it
makes my heart ache to hear him moan and cry."
"Does he say anything particular then?"
God knows I was not pursuing my own fell purpose in asking this. Thank
Him, I was not such a fiend as that. All I wished was to relieve him
whom I pitied so.
"Yes, he opens his eyes and stares, and then he always says, and he
tries to shake his head only he isn't strong enough, 'My fault, ah me,
my fault, and to rob them too! If I could but see her, if I could but
see her, and die!' He always says that first, and then that exhausts
him so, he can hardly say 'water' after, and then he moans so
melancholy, and then he goes off again."
The tears stood in her eyes, for she had a tender heart. I burst into my
usual violent flood, for I never have any half-crying.
"Have you any medicine to give him?"
"No, Miss, no more; he has taken a shopful already, though he can only
swallow at the time he wakes up. The doctor said to-night he could do no
more; this awful black fever must end in mortification; no medicine
moves it at all."
"Did the doctor call it black fever?"
"Yes, the very worst form of typhus of the real Irish type, such as they
have had once or twice in Manchester. It has settled most on the
stomach, but all the blood is poisoned."
And she sprinkled herself, and the bed again, with disinfecting fluid,
and threw some over me.
"Excuse me, Miss, you wouldn't allow me, so I am bound not to ask you.
You know you came in dead against my will, and dead against all
orders"--this was what the whispering had been about--"and if anything
happens to you, Miss Vaughan, who is to have all the property, but that
bad Mrs. Daldy?"
Oh! In a moment I saw the whole; though it was too black for belief,
blacker than any fever that festers the human heart. This was the
purpose with which that woman had sent for me. She had lied to me as to
the character of the disease. She had opposed me, because she knew it
the surest way to urge me. She had brought me too at night, when fevers
are doubly infectious.
"You see, Miss, we are forced to keep the three windows open, and the
passage doors all closed. It's a wonder I had any of the fluid left,
for they never sent it up this afternoon; but I had a drop put by, no
thanks to them for the same. Mrs. Daldy brought the first nurse, but
she ran clean away when the fever took the turn; and they were forced to
send for me, for nobody else would come near him. But my poor old man
has no work, and I've minded as bad a case as this, and they say I be
fever-proof. But you, Miss, you; I should never forgive myself, if
anything happened to you, and in your youth and bloom. Though I could
not stop you, you know I did my best. And they say you catch things
most when you come off a journey."
"Jane, whatever happens, you are not to blame. I have no fear whatever;
and now I am here, I will stay. It is safer so, both for myself and
others."
"Well, Miss, so I have heard say. Once in for it, keep to the air. But
come into this little room, if you want to talk to me, Miss. We can
hear the poor gentleman move, or even sigh; and the air is a little
fresher there. But we must keep the window open."
She led me into the dressing room; but even there the same crawling
creeping smell pervaded, as if a grave had been opened, when the ground
was full of gas. Instead of talking to the nurse, I began to think. It
broke upon me vaguely, that I had heard of some very simple remedy for a
fever of this nature, and that my dear mother, who in her prosperous
times was the village doctoress, had been acquainted with the case. But
in the whirl of my brain, I could not bring to mind what it was. Oh
what would I give, only to think of it now! Though not, I am sorry to
say, at all of a pious turn (at least if Mrs. Daldy is so), in the
strong feeling of the moment, I fell upon my knees, and prayed for help.
So had my mother taught me, and Mother Nature taught me now. I will not
be so daring as to say that my prayer was answered. Perhaps it was only
that it calmed my mind.
"Jane, have they been brewing lately?" Alas the bathos! But I can't
help it.
"Yes, Miss; last Thursday and Friday. They won't let me go near the
kitchen part: but I know it all the same."
"Go and get me a nice jug of fresh yeast. I will watch your master."
She stared, and hesitated; but saw that I was in earnest.
"I don't know where to find it, Miss; and none of them will come near
me; and they'll stop me too if they can. Why they won't bring my food
to the door, but put it half-way down the passage. They wanted to lock
me in, only I wouldn't stand that; and they break all the plates and
dishes, and to-day they sent word that my dinner must come in at the
window to-morrow."
"Low cowards and zanies! Now find the yeast, Jane, if you have to
search for an hour. They must all be gone to bed now, except Matilda
Jenkins; and she dare not stop you if you say you have my orders."
"Bless you, Miss; she'll run away as if I was a ghost."
"Then call to her, that I say she must go to bed directly."
After a few more words, Jane went her way stealthily, like a
thorough-bred thief; and I was left alone with my poor dying uncle.
Wonderful as it seemed to me, I felt now a tender affection for him, I
the resolute, the consistent, the bitter Clara Vaughan. Even if he had
told me that moment, that he had plotted my father's death, I would have
perilled my life for his; because I should have known that he was sorry.
Yet I was full of cold fear, lest he should awake to consciousness, and
utter that awful cry, while I alone was with him, in the dead hour of
night.
Sooner than I expected, the nurse came back with a jug of beautiful
yeast, smelling as fresh as daybreak. We put it outside the window on
the stone sill, to keep it cool and airy. She had seen no one except
Matilda, who was waiting for me, and crying dreadfully, predicting my
certain death, and her own too; if she should have to attend me. She
kept at a most respectful distance from Jane; and, with all her
affection, was glad to be clear of me for the night.
For nearly two hours, the nurse and I sat watching, with hardly a spoken
word, except that I asked one question.
"How often has Mrs. Daldy been to see my uncle?"
"She would hardly leave his bedside, until the fever declared itself.
Since then she has not been once."
Broad awake at that strange hour, and in that strange way, I began to
pass through the stereoscope of my brain the many strange slides of my
life. Of all of these, the last for the moment seemed the strangest.
Suddenly we heard a low feeble moan. Running into the bedroom, there we
saw the poor sick one with his eyes wide open, vainly attempting to
rise. I put my arms around him, and raised him on the pillow. He tried
to say 'thank you,' for he was always a gentleman in his manners; then
he gazed at me with hazily wondering eyes. Then he opened his mouth in
a spasmodic way, and began that bitter cry.
Ere he closed his mouth again, I poured well into his throat a
table-spoonful of yeast, handed to me by Jane. To my great pleasure, it
glided beyond the black tongue; and I gave him two more spoonfuls, while
he was staring at me with a weak and rigid amazement.
"No water, Jane, not a drop of water! It will work far better alone.
He doesn't know what it is, and he thinks he has had his water. Keep
him thirsty that he may take more."
As he lay thus in my arms, I felt that one side was icily cold, and the
other fiery hot. His face looked most ghastly and livid, but there was
not that mystical gray upon it, like the earth-shine on the moon, which
shows when the face of man is death's mirror, and the knee of death on
man's heart. In a minute he slid from my grasp, down on the pillow
again, and, with a long-drawn sigh, became once more stiff and
insensible. My hope was faint indeed, but still it was hope: if he had
hope's vitality, he might yet be saved.
The rest of that night was passed by the nurse and myself in heavy yet
broken sleep. Jane assured me that there was no chance of my poor uncle
becoming conscious again, for at least six hours. I was loth to forego
my watch, and argued that the dose we had given might cut short this
interval; but lo--while I kept repeating at weary and weary periods,
that I could do no harm, since the physician gave up, and I might do
good--sleep, the lover of repetition, laid his hand alike on my formula
and myself. Dear Judy's howl was in my dream, and Mrs. Shelfer's never
ceasing prattle.