Madeley, May 3, 1819.
My dear Armstrong,
SINCE I last wrote to you, I have been called to pass through some
painful and unexpected scenes. About twelve months ago my dear father
began to decline very rapidly in his health, owing to some serious
reverses which he experienced in his temporal concerns, and which preyed
very much upon his mind; the full extent we are none of us able to
determine, but one of my uncles and his son who were privy to many of his
transactions, can distinctly reckon up £75,000 which came under their own
observation. All these losses had their measure of effect upon his
spirits; but, there was a lawsuit pending, and which had been commenced
some months since, which, if determined against him, threatened to sweep
away all that remained, and even to leave him insolvent. Of this he
informed no one, but kept it working secretly within, till, at length, it
proved too much for him, and his constitution irrecoverably gave way. On
the day of his removal, indeed, he was unusually well; was out in the
garden a great part of the forenoon, and very cheerful while taking his
tea, but about seven in the evening he was seized with a fit of apoplexy,
and he was a corpse by a little after nine. His death much affected me,
and especially as I had my fears lest it should have been produced by a
mere sorrow of the world; but when I joined my dear mother, I was much
comforted by finding that the Lord’s gracious intentions in all this
apparently severe discipline, were mercifully answered; that they
produced in him a gradual weaning from the world, and an increased esteem
and relish for the things which concerned his soul. And in this effect,
I hope, that we are all, at least most of us, enabled to rejoice, though,
in order to produce it, it was necessary that he should suffer the loss
of almost all things. To think of his departed spirit, as happy with the
Lord, affords to us a balm of consolation which thousands upon thousands
could not effect without it.
But amidst all this wreck and ruin of property which I have gradually
been called to witness, what abundant cause have I for gratitude that it
has not come nigh me. How graciously has God been pleased to provide for
me and mine! For though my family is large, and its wants are
continually increasing, yet I have all and abound. I have ever yet had
enough, and a little annually to spare; and I have no doubt but that,
with a little frugality, I shall be able to put by a little more towards
the settling of my dear children when they shall come of age. Had I
known of the present posture of affairs, I might have done a little more
for them, but I am very thankful that I have done what I have. And may
the God of love so regulate my conduct for the future, that I may never,
in any instance, unnecessarily encroach upon their due; for I feel the
force of the apostolic observation: “He that provideth not for his own,”
&c.
* * * * *
The following is a deeply affecting letter; but, like many of David’s
Psalms, if it begins in complainings, it ends in praises.