Wellington, July 6th, 1812.
My dear Friend,
AS it respects myself, I must say that I feel the comparatively trifling
duties which I have to perform to be a burden, which at times seems
insupportable; but it is the burden which God has placed upon me, and,
therefore, I strive to go on and to press forward, notwithstanding all my
difficulties. You would hardly conceive how much I dread any public
exercise until the moment in which I am actually engaged in it; I am
filled with the most dismal forebodings; but then, through mercy all my
fears vanish; and I have reason to believe, that my feeble efforts are
not altogether in vain.
Nothing further has elapsed respecting any change in my situation. My
Mary feels a good many apprehensions on the subject at present, and I
believe I must leave matters till some circumstance or other makes my way
clear and evident. _Our_ time is very seldom _God’s_. There is a
haste—a precipitancy—in our proceedings, which is never to be discovered
in those of God. The creation of the world—the calling of his peculiar
people—the coming of the Messiah—all show that God is slow in operation.
I feel, my dear friend, that I have daily and hourly need of learning a
lesson on this subject. Whenever I feel hurry of spirits, and solicited
to do something or other in haste, I invariably find that it turns out
badly. It is the power of the enemy—God’s procedure is
orderly—calm—deliberate: he leads us gently on, and, while he forcibly
convinces the mind, he opens our providential path.
* * * * * * *
We live in troublesome times, in a troublesome world. But still we have
much to be thankful for, notwithstanding all, and we have a blessed hope
of things infinitely better in the world to come. I delight to think of
those blessed scenes, and am persuaded that we all of us lose much for
want of reverting to them more frequently. With heaven in our eye, how
cheerfully are we enabled to march forward; how courageously do we charge
through all opposing difficulties; how contemptuously do we look upon the
things of time and sense! Here was the grand support of the Redeemer;
“_For the joy which was set before him_ he endured the cross, and
_despised_ the shame.”
I have lately been very much gratified by reading a piece of Dr. Watts’
on the Separate State. We are apt to form too spiritual notions of the
world to come, and, consequently, having nothing upon which we can
solidly ground our investigations, we lose much of the interest and
delight which would otherwise be imparted. When the _literal_ meaning of
Scripture seems to be absurd, we think we are fully justified in seeking
other interpretations; but to reject the plain and obvious sense merely
because it interferes with our pre-conceived notions of the subject, is,
in my opinion, quite unwarrantable. We read of _cities_, _temples_,
_altars_, _mansions_, _feasts_, _trees_, and _rivers_. And no doubt but
many of our enjoyments will be exceedingly similar to those which _Adam_
enjoyed on earth, when in a state of innocence; and it is very probable
that the employments which _engage us now_ will _fit us_ for similar
_hereafter_. All our peculiarities of mind and disposition will have
room for their full exercise: the traveller may be permitted to take
excursions into distant worlds. The _philosopher_ may pursue, without
limitation, the investigations of science and of art. _The soul which is
enchanted with_ harmony, may, like David, be the leader of some celestial
band; and the _divine_ will be delighted with fresh discoveries into the
nature, the attributes, the perfections, of his God; while the other
myriads of beings, each in their proper class and society, will be
enjoying to the utmost of their capacity the blessings which are most
calculated to administer to their delight.
* * * *
From your sincere Friend,
G. M.