BOTHER! was all John Clatterby said.
His breath came quick, and his cheek was red,
He flourished his elbows, and looked absurd,
While, over and over, his "Bother!" I heard.
Harder and harder the fellow worked,
Vainly and savagely still he jerked;
The boot, half on, _would_ dangle and flap--
"Oh bother!" and then he broke the strap.
Redder than ever his hot cheek flamed;
Harder than ever he fumed and blamed;
He wriggled his heel, and tugged at the leather
Till knees and chin came bumping together.
"My boy!" said I, in a voice like a flute,
"Why not--ahem!--try the mate of that boot;
Or the other foot?"--"I'm a goose," laughed John,
As he stood, in a flash, with his two boots on.
In half the affairs
Of this busy life
(As that same day
I said to my wife),
Our troubles come
From trying to put
The left-hand shoe
On the right-hand foot,
Or _vice versa_
(Meaning, reverse, sir).
To try to force,
As quite of course,
Any wrong foot
In the right shoe,
Is the silliest thing
A man can do.
----------