DESPERATION OF A FUGITIVE SLAVE.
We had as yet received no funds from our foreign agent, N. Paul, and the
board of managers had resolved to send a man after him. An Englishman and
a white man named Nell, would gladly undertake the mission, leaving his
wife and five children among the settlers. Again was I under the necessity
of returning to New York, to obtain the funds required to send out Mr.
Nell after our agent in England.
The night before I left home, I had a singular dream which I will briefly
relate. I dreamed of journeying on a boat to Albany, and of stopping at a
house to take tea. Several persons, I thought, were at the table, and as a
cup of tea was handed me, I saw a woman slyly drop something into it. I,
however, drank the tea, and dreamed that it made me very sick.
I found it difficult to drive from my mind the unpleasant impression this
dream had made upon it, but finally succeeded in doing so, attributing it
to the many and malicious threatenings which had been made by Lewis and
his associates. They had boldly asserted, that "if I went to the States, I
would never return alive," and several other threats equally malignant.
I, however, started with Mr. Nell for Rochester, where we made an effort
to raise money to aid in defraying the expenses of the voyage, and
succeeded in collecting about a hundred dollars. From thence we passed on
to Albany, where we fell in company with a number of Mr. Paul's friends,
who appeared to be terribly indignant, and accused me of coming there to
expose their friends,--Paul and Lewis. We had some warm words and
unpleasant conversation, after which they left me very unceremoniously,
and appeared to be very angry. A short time after, one of them returned,
and in the most friendly manner invited me to his house to tea. I was glad
of an opportunity to show that I harbored no unpleasant feelings toward
them, and immediately accompanied him home. The moment that we were all
seated at the table, an unpleasant suspicion flashed through, my mind.
The table, the company--all seemed familiar to me, and connected with
some unpleasant occurrence which I could not then recall. But when the
lady of the house poured out a cup of tea, and another was about to pass
it, I heard her whisper, "I intended that for Mr. Steward," my dream for
the first time, flashed through my mind, with all the vivid distinctness
of a real incident. I endeavored to drive it from my thoughts, and did so.
Pshaw! I said to myself; I will not be suspicious nor whimsical, and I
swallowed the tea; then took my leave for the steamboat, on our way to
New York city.
When we had passed a few miles out of Albany, the boat hove to, and there
came on board four men--one of the number a colored man. The white men
repaired to their state-rooms, leaving the colored man on deck, after the
boat had returned to the channel. He attracted my attention, by his
dejected appearance and apparent hopeless despair. He was, I judged,
about forty years of age; his clothing coarse and very ragged; and the
most friendless, sorrowful looking being I ever saw. He spake to no one,
but silently paced the deck; his breast heaving with inaudible sighs; his
brow contracted with a most terrible frown; his eyes dreamily fastened on
the floor, and he appeared to be considering on some hopeless undertaking,
I watched him attentively, as I walked to and fro on the same deck, and
could clearly discover that some fearful conflict was taking place in his
mind; but as I afterwards repassed him he looked up with a happy, patient
smile, that lighted up his whole countenance, which seemed to say plainly,
I see a way of escape, and have decided on my course of action. His whole
appearance was changed; his heart that before had beat so wildly was quiet
now as the broad bosom of the Hudson, and he gazed alter me with a look of
calm deliberation, indicative of a settled, but desperate purpose. I
walked hastily forward and turned around, when, Oh, my God! what a sight
was there! Holding still the dripping knife, with which he had cut his
throat! and while his life-blood oozed from the gaping wound and flowed
over his tattered garments to the deck, the same exultant smile beamed on
his ghastly features!
[Illustration: "I walked hastily forward and turned around, when, Oh, my
God! what a sight was there! He still held the dripping knife, with which
he had cut his throat."]
The history of the poor, dejected creature was now revealed: he had
escaped from his cruel task-master in Maryland; but in the midst of his
security and delightful enjoyment, he had been overtaken by the human
blood-hound, and returned to his avaricious and tyrannical master, now
conducting him back to a life of Slavery, to which he rightly thought
death was far preferable.
The horrors of slave life, which he had so long endured, arose in all
their hideous deformity in his mind, hence the conflict of feeling which I
had observed,--and hence the change in his whole appearance, when he had
resolved to endure a momentary pain, and escape a life-long scene of
unrequited toil and degradation.
There happened to be on the boat at the time, several companies of citizen
soldiers, who, shocked by the awful spectacle, expressed their decided
abhorrence of the institution of Slavery, declaring that it was not for
such peculiar villainy, that their fathers fought and bled on the battle
field. So determined were they in their indignation; so loudly demanded
they a cessation of such occurrences on board our boats, and the soil of
a free State, that the slaveholders became greatly alarmed, and with all
possible dispatch they hurriedly dragged the poor bleeding slave into a
closet, and securely locked the door; nor have I ever been able to learn
his final doom. Whether the kindly messenger of death released him from
the clutches of the man-stealer, or whether he recovered to serve his
brutal master, I have never been informed.
After this exciting scene had passed, I began to realize that I was
feeling quite ill; an unusual load seemed to oppress my stomach, and by
the time we had reached New York city, I was exceedingly distressed. I
hastened to a boarding house, kept by a colored woman, who did everything
in her power to relieve me; but I grew worse until I thought in reality, I
must die. The lady supposed I was dying of cholera, sent to Brooklyn after
Mr. Nell; but having previously administered an emetic, I began to feel
better; and when I had finally emptied my stomach of its contents, _tea
and all_, by vomiting, I felt into a profound sleep, from which I awoke
greatly relieved. The kindness of that lady I shall not soon forget. She
had a house full of boarders, who would have fled instantly, had they
known that, as she supposed, I was suffering from cholera; and instead of
sending me to the hospital, as she might have done, she kept all quiet
until it was over, doing all she could for my relief and comfort; yet, it
was a scene of distress which I hope may never be repeated.
On the following morning, I saw in the city papers, "A Card," inserted by
the owner of the poor slave on board the steamboat, informing the public
that he was returning South with a fugitive slave, who, when arrested,
evinced great willingness to return; who had confessed also, that he had
done very wrong in leaving his master, for which he was sorry,--but he
supposed that the abolitionists had been tampering with him. That was all!
Not a word about his attempt to take his life! Oh no, he merely wished to
allay the excitement, that the horrid deed had produced on the minds of
those present.
I was indignant at the publication of such a deliberate falsehood, and
immediately wrote and published that I too was on board the same boat with
the fugitive; that I had witnessed an exhibition of his willingness to
return to Slavery, by seeing him cut his throat, and lay on the deck
wallowing in his blood; that the scene had so excited the sympathies of
the soldiers present, that his owner had been obliged to hurry him out of
their sight, &c.
When this statement appeared in the newspapers, it so exasperated the
friends of the slaveholder, that I was advised to flee from the city, lest
I might be visited with personal violence; but I assured my advisers that
it was only the wicked who "flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous
are bold as a lion." I therefore commenced the business that brought me
to that city. Messrs. Bloss, Nell, and myself, made an effort, and raised
between three and four hundred dollars for the purpose of sending Mr. Nell
after Rev. N. Paul.
Most of the funds collected, we gave to Mr. Nell, who sailed from New York,
and arrived safely in England, just as N. Paul was boarding a vessel to
return to New York.
Had Mr. Nell acted honorably, or in accordance with his instructions, he
would have returned with the agent; but he remained in England, and for
aught I know is there yet. He was sent expressly after Mr. Paul, and when
he left that kingdom, Nell's mission was ended. He proved himself less
worthy of confidence than the agent, for he _did_ return when sent for,
and he did account for the money he had collected, though he retained it
all; but Mr. Nell accounted for nothing of the kind; and if he has ever
returned, I have not seen him. Mr. N. Paul arrived in New York in the
fall of 1834, and remained there through the winter, to the great
disappointment and vexation of the colonists. I wrote him concerning our
condition and wants, hoping it would induce him to visit us immediately;
but he had married while in England, an English lady, who had accompanied
aim to New York, where they were now living; nor did he appear to be in
any haste about giving an account of himself to the board of managers who
had employed him.