THOUGHTS ON FREEDOM.
After living sometime in Bath, and having the privilege of more
enlightened society, I began to think that it was possible for me to
become a free man in some way besides going into the army or running away,
as I had often thought of doing. I had listened to the conversation of
others, and determined to ask legal counsel on the subject the first
opportunity I could find. Very soon after, as I was drawing wood, I met on
the river bridge, Mr. D. Cruger, the eminent lawyer before mentioned, and
I asked him to tell me if I was not free, by the laws of New York. He
started, and looked around him as if afraid to answer my question, but
after a while told me I was _not_ free. I passed on, but the answer to my
question by no means satisfied me, especially when I remembered the
hesitancy with which it was given.
I sought another opportunity to speak with Mr. Cruger, and at last found
him in his office alone; then he conversed freely on the subject of
Slavery, telling me that Capt. Helm could not hold me as a slave in that
State, if I chose to leave him, and then directed me to D. Comstock and J.
Moore; the first being at the head of a manumission society, and the last
named gentleman one of its directors.
Our condition, as I have said before, was greatly improved; and yet the
more we knew of freedom the more we desired it, and the less willing were
we to remain in bondage. The slaves that Capt. Helm had sold or hired out,
were continually leaving him and the country, for a place of freedom; and
I determined to become my own possessor.
There is no one, I care not how favorable his condition, who desires to be
a slave, to labor for nothing all his life for the benefit of others. I
have often heard fugitive slaves say, that it was not so much the cruel
beatings and floggings that they received which induced them to leave the
South, as the idea of dragging out a whole life of unrequited toil to
enrich their masters.
Everywhere that Slavery exists, it is nothing but _slavery_. I found it
just as hard to be beaten over the head with a piece of iron in New York
as it was in Virginia. Whips and chains are everywhere necessary to
degrade and brutalize the slave, in order to reduce him to that abject and
humble state which Slavery requires. Nor is the effect much less
disastrous on the man who holds supreme control over the soul and body of
his fellow beings. Such unlimited power, in almost every instance
transforms the man into a tyrant; the brother into a demon.
When the first of our persecuted race were brought to this country it was
to teach them to reverence the only true and living God; or such was the
answer of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth of England, when her subjects
desired the liberty to bring from their native land the poor, ignorant
African. "Let them," said the Queen, "be brought away only by their own
consent, otherwise the act will be detestable, and bring down the
vengeance of heaven upon us." A very different position truly, from the
one assumed at the present day by apologists for the traffic in human
flesh. But, to return to myself.
I had determined to make an effort to own myself, and as a preliminary
step, I obtained permission of Capt. Helm to visit some friends living in
Canandaigua and Geneva. This was in the winter of 1814. I went first to
Geneva; from there to Canandaigua. Between the two villages I met a
company of United States' troops, returning from Buffalo, where they had
been to repel an invasion of the British.
The two villages above named, were small but very pretty, having been laid
out with taste and great care. Some wealthy and enterprising gentlemen had
come from the East into this great Western country, who were making every
improvement in their power. The dense forest had long since fallen under
the stroke of the woodman's ax, and in that section, flourishing villages
were springing up as if by magic, where so lately roamed wild beasts and
rude savages, both having fallen back before the march of civilization.
I called on James Moore, as directed by Mr. Cruger, and found he was one
of the directors of the "Manumission Society," as it was then called. This
was an association of humane and intelligent gentlemen whose object it was
to aid any one who was illegally held in bondage. The funds of the society
were ample; and able counsel was employed to assist those who needed it.
The late lamented John C. Spencer, one of the most eminent lawyers in
Western New York, was then counsel for that society.
I soon got an interview with Mr. Moore, to whom I related the history of
my life,--the story of my wrongs and hardships. I told him about my having
been hired out by Capt. Helm, which he said was sufficient to insure my
freedom! Oh! how my heart leaped at the thought! The tears started, my
breast heaved with a mighty throb of gratitude, and I could hardly refrain
from grasping his hand or falling down at his feet; and perhaps should
have made some ludicrous demonstration of my feelings, had not the kind
gentleman continued his conversation in another direction.
He said that indispensable business called him to Albany, where he must go
immediately, but assured me that he would return in March following; then
I must come to him and he would see that I had what justly belonged to
me--my freedom from Slavery. He advised me to return to Bath and go on
with my work as usual until March, but to say nothing of my intentions and
prospects. I returned according to his directions, with a heart so light,
that I could not realize that my bonds were not yet broken, nor the yoke
removed from off my neck. I was already free in spirit, and I silently
exulted in the bright prospect of liberty.
Could my master have felt what it was to be relieved of such a crushing
weight, as the one which was but partially lifted from my mind, he would
have been a happier man than he had been for a long time.
I went cheerfully back to my labor, and worked with alacrity, impatient
only for March to come; and as the time drew near I began to consider what
kind of an excuse I could make to get away. I could think of none, but I
determined to go without one, rather than to remain.
Just before the time appointed for me to meet Mr. Moore, a slave girl
named Milly, came secretly to Bath. She had been one of Capt. Helm's
slaves, and he had a while before sold her to a man who lived some
distance west of the village. Milly had now taken the matter into her own
hands. She had left her master to take care of himself, and was in short,
"running away," determined as myself, that she would be a slave no longer;
resolved on death, or freedom from the power of the slaveholder.
The time I had set for my departure was so near at hand, that I concluded
to accompany her in her flight. When the dark night came on, we started
together, and traveled all night, and just as the day dawned we arrived at
Manchester, where we stopped a short time with one Thomas Watkins.
But I was not to be let go so easily. I had been missed at Capt. Helm's,
and several men started in immediate pursuit. I was weary, and so intent
on getting a little rest that I did not see my pursuers until they had
well nigh reached the house where I was; but I _did_ see them in time to
spring from the house with the agility of a deer, and to run for the woods
as for life. And indeed, I so considered it. I was unarmed to be sure, and
not prepared to defend myself against two or three men, armed to the
teeth; but it would have gone hard with me before I surrendered myself to
them, after having dreamed as I had, and anticipated the blessings of a
free man. I escaped them, thank God, and reached the woods, where I
concealed myself for some time, and where I had ample opportunity to
reflect on the injustice and cruelty of my oppressors, and to ask myself
why it was that I was obliged to fly from my home. Why was I there panting
and weary, hungry and destitute--skulking in the woods like a thief, and
concealing myself like a murderer? What had I done? For what fault, or for
what crime was I pursued by armed men, and hunted like a beast of prey?
God only knows how these inquiries harrowed up my very soul, and made me
well nigh doubt the justice and mercy of the Almighty, until I remembered
my narrow escape, when my doubts dissolved in grateful tears.
But why, oh why, had I been forced to flee thus from my fellow men? I was
guilty of no crime; I had committed no violence; I had broken no law of
the land; I was not charged even with a fault, except of _the love of
liberty_ and a desire to be _free_! I had claimed the right to possess my
own person, and remove it from oppression. Oh my God, thought I, can the
American People, who at this very hour are pouring out their blood in
defence of their country's liberty; offering up as a sacrifice on the
battle field their promising young men, to preserve their land and
hearthstones from English oppression; can they, will they, continue to
hunt the poor African slave from their soil because he desires that same
liberty, so dear to the heart of every American citizen? Will they not
blot out from their fair escutcheon the foul stain which Slavery has cast
upon it? Will they not remember the Southern bondman, in whom the love
of freedom is as inherent as in themselves; and will they not, when
contending for equal rights, use their mighty forces "to break _every
yoke_, and let the oppressed go free?" God grant that it may be so!
As soon as I thought it prudent, I pursued my journey, and finally came
out into the open country, near the dwelling of Mr. Dennis Comstock, who,
as I have said, was president of the Manumission Society. To him I freely
described my situation, and found him a friend indeed. He expressed his
readiness to assist me, and wrote a line for me to take to his brother,
Otis Comstock, who took me into his family at once. I hired to Mr.
Comstock for the season, and from that time onward lived with him nearly
four years.
When I arrived there I was about twenty-two years of age, and felt for the
first time in my life, that I was my own master. I cannot describe to a
free man, what a proud manly feeling came over me when I hired to Mr. C.
and made my first bargain, nor when I assumed the dignity of collecting my
own earnings. Notwithstanding I was very happy in my freedom from Slavery,
and had a good home, where for the first time in my life I was allowed to
sit at table with others, yet I found myself very deficient in almost
every thing which I should have learned when a boy.
These and other recollections of the past often saddened my spirit; but
_hope _,--cheering and bright, was now mine, and it lighted up the future
and gave me patience to persevere.
In the autumn when the farm work was done, I called on Mr. Comstock for
some money, and the first thing I did after receiving it I went to
Canandaigua where I found a book-store kept by a man named J.D. Bemis, and
of him I purchased some school books.
No king on his throne could feel prouder or grander than I did that day.
With my books under my arm, and money of my own earning in my pocket, I
stepped loftily along toward Farmington, where I determined to attend the
Academy. The thought, however, that though I was twenty-three years old, I
had yet to learn what most boys of eight years knew, was rather a damper
on my spirits. The school was conducted by Mr. J. Comstock, who was a
pleasant young man and an excellent teacher. He showed me every kindness
and consideration my position and ignorance demanded; and I attended his
school three winters, with pleasure and profit to myself at least.
When I had been with Mr. Comstock about a year, we received a visit from
my old master, Capt. Helm, who had spared no pains to find me, and when he
learned where I was he came to claim me as "his boy," who, he said he
"wanted and must have."
Mr. Comstock told him I was _not_ "his boy," and as such he would not
give me up; and further, that I was free by the laws of the State. He
assured the Captain that his hiring me out in the first instance, to Mr.
Tower, forfeited his claim to me, and gave me a right to freedom,--but if
he chose to join issue, they would have the case tried in the Supreme
Court; but this proposition the Captain declined: he knew well enough that
it would result in my favor; and after some flattery and coaxing, he left
me with my friend, Mr. Comstock, in liberty and peace!