Shall I tell you, my dear, that when Francois woke me at a very
early hour on this eventful morning, while the keen stars were still
glittering overhead, a half-moon, as sharp as a razor, beaming in the
frosty sky, and a wicked north wind blowing, that blew the blood out of
one's fingers and froze your leg as you put it out of bed;--shall I tell
you, my dear, that when Francois called me, and said, "V'la vot' cafe,
Monsieur Titemasse, buvez-le, tiens, il est tout chaud," I felt myself,
after imbibing the hot breakfast, so comfortable under three blankets
and a mackintosh, that for at least a quarter of an hour no man in
Europe could say whether Titmarsh would or would not be present at the
burial of the Emperor Napoleon.
Besides, my dear, the cold, there was another reason for doubting.
Did the French nation, or did they not, intend to offer up some of us
English over the imperial grave? And were the games to be concluded by
a massacre? It was said in the newspapers that Lord Granville had
despatched circulars to all the English resident in Paris, begging them
to keep their homes. The French journals announced this news, and warned
us charitably of the fate intended for us. Had Lord Granville written?
Certainly not to me. Or had he written to all EXCEPT ME? And was I THE
VICTIM--the doomed one?--to be seized directly I showed my face in the
Champs Elysees, and torn in pieces by French Patriotism to the frantic
chorus of the "Marseillaise?" Depend on it, Madam, that high and low
in this city on Tuesday were not altogether at their ease, and that the
bravest felt no small tremor! And be sure of this, that as his Majesty
Louis Philippe took his nightcap off his royal head that morning, he
prayed heartily that he might, at night, put it on in safety.
Well, as my companion and I came out of doors, being bound for the
Church of the Invalides, for which a Deputy had kindly furnished us with
tickets, we saw the very prettiest sight of the whole day, and I can't
refrain from mentioning it to my dear, tender-hearted Miss Smith.
In the same house where I live (but about five stories nearer the
ground) lodges an English family, consisting of--1. A great-grandmother,
a hale, handsome old lady of seventy, the very best-dressed and neatest
old lady in Paris. 2. A grandfather and grandmother, tolerably young
to bear that title. 3. A daughter. And 4. Two little great-grand, or
grandchildren, that may be of the age of three and one, and belong to a
son and daughter who are in India. The grandfather, who is as proud
of his wife as he was thirty years ago when he married, and pays her
compliments still twice or thrice in a day, and when he leads her into a
room looks round at the persons assembled, and says in his heart,
"Here, gentlemen, here is my wife--show me such another woman in
England,"--this gentleman had hired a room on the Champs Elysees, for he
would not have his wife catch cold by exposing her to the balconies in
the open air.
When I came to the street, I found the family assembled in the following
order of march:--
--No. 1, the great-grandmother walking daintily along, supported by No.
3, her granddaughter.
--A nurse carrying No. 4 junior, who was sound asleep: and a huge basket
containing saucepans, bottles of milk, parcels of infants' food, certain
dimity napkins, a child's coral, and a little horse belonging to No. 4
senior.
--A servant bearing a basket of condiments.
--No. 2, grandfather, spick and span, clean shaved, hat brushed, white
buckskin gloves, bamboo cane, brown great-coat, walking as upright and
solemn as may be, having his lady on his arm.
--No. 4, senior, with mottled legs and a tartan costume, who was
frisking about between his grandpapa's legs, who heartily wished him at
home.
"My dear," his face seemed to say to his lady, "I think you might have
left the little things in the nursery, for we shall have to squeeze
through a terrible crowd in the Champs Elysees."
The lady was going out for a day's pleasure, and her face was full of
care: she had to look first after her old mother who was walking ahead,
then after No. 4 junior with the nurse--he might fall into all sorts of
danger, wake up, cry, catch cold; nurse might slip down, or heaven knows
what. Then she had to look her husband in the face, who had gone to such
expense and been so kind for her sake, and make that gentleman believe
she was thoroughly happy; and, finally, she had to keep an eye upon No.
4 senior, who, as she was perfectly certain, was about in two minutes to
be lost for ever, or trampled to pieces in the crowd.
These events took place in a quiet little street leading into the Champs
Elysees, the entry of which we had almost reached by this time. The four
detachments above described, which had been straggling a little in their
passage down the street, closed up at the end of it, and stood for
a moment huddled together. No. 3, Miss X--, began speaking to her
companion the great-grandmother.
"Hush, my dear," said that old lady, looking round alarmed at her
daughter. "SPEAK FRENCH." And she straightway began nervously to make a
speech which she supposed to be in that language, but which was as much
like French as Iroquois. The whole secret was out: you could read it in
the grandmother's face, who was doing all she could to keep from crying,
and looked as frightened as she dared to look. The two elder ladies
had settled between them that there was going to be a general English
slaughter that day, and had brought the children with them, so that they
might all be murdered in company.
God bless you, O women, moist-eyed and tender-hearted! In those gentle
silly tears of yours there is something touches one, be they never so
foolish. I don't think there were many such natural drops shed that day
as those which just made their appearance in the grandmother's eyes, and
then went back again as if they had been ashamed of themselves, while
the good lady and her little troop walked across the road. Think how
happy she will be when night comes, and there has been no murder of
English, and the brood is all nestled under her wings sound asleep, and
she is lying awake thanking God that the day and its pleasures and pains
are over. Whilst we were considering these things, the grandfather had
suddenly elevated No. 4 senior upon his left shoulder, and I saw the
tartan hat of that young gentleman, and the bamboo cane which had been
transferred to him, high over the heads of the crowd on the opposite
side through which the party moved.
After this little procession had passed away--you may laugh at it, but
upon my word and conscience, Miss Smith, I saw nothing in the course of
the day which affected me more--after this little procession had
passed away, the other came, accompanied by gun-banging, flag-waving,
incense-burning, trumpets pealing, drums rolling, and at the close,
received by the voice of six hundred choristers, sweetly modulated to
the tones of fifteen score of fiddlers. Then you saw horse and foot,
jack-boots and bear-skin, cuirass and bayonet, National Guard and Line,
marshals and generals all over gold, smart aides-de-camp galloping about
like mad, and high in the midst of all, riding on his golden buckler,
Solomon in all his glory, forsooth--Imperial Caesar, with his crown over
his head, laurels and standards waving about his gorgeous chariot, and a
million of people looking on in wonder and awe.
His Majesty the Emperor and King reclined on his shield, with his head
a little elevated. His Majesty's skull is voluminous, his forehead
broad and large. We remarked that his Imperial Majesty's brow was of a
yellowish color, which appearance was also visible about the orbits of
the eyes. He kept his eyelids constantly closed, by which we had
the opportunity of observing that the upper lids were garnished with
eyelashes. Years and climate have effected upon the face of this great
monarch only a trifling alteration; we may say, indeed, that Time has
touched his Imperial and Royal Majesty with the lightest feather in his
wing. In the nose of the Conqueror of Austerlitz we remarked very little
alteration: it is of the beautiful shape which we remember it possessed
five-and-twenty years since, ere unfortunate circumstances induced him
to leave us for a while. The nostril and the tube of the nose appear to
have undergone some slight alteration, but in examining a beloved object
the eye of affection is perhaps too critical. Vive l'Empereur! the
soldier of Marengo is among us again. His lips are thinner, perhaps,
than they were before! how white his teeth are! you can just see three
of them pressing his under lip; and pray remark the fulness of his
cheeks and the round contour of his chin. Oh, those beautiful white
hands! many a time have they patted the cheek of poor Josephine, and
played with the black ringlets of her hair. She is dead now, and cold,
poor creature; and so are Hortense and bold Eugene, than whom the world
"never saw a curtier knight," as was said of King Arthur's Sir Lancelot.
What a day would it have been for those three could they have lived
until now, and seen their hero returning! Where's Ney? His wife sits
looking out from M. Flahaut's window yonder, but the bravest of the
brave is not with her. Murat too is absent: honest Joachim loves the
Emperor at heart, and repents that he was not at Waterloo: who knows
but that at the sight of the handsome swordsman those stubborn English
"canaille" would have given way. A king, Sire, is, you know, the
greatest of slaves--State affairs of consequence--his Majesty the King
of Naples is detained no doubt. When we last saw the King, however, and
his Highness the Prince of Elchingen, they looked to have as good
health as ever they had in their lives, and we heard each of them calmly
calling out "FIRE!" as they have done in numberless battles before.
Is it possible? can the Emperor forget? We don't like to break it to
him, but has he forgotten all about the farm at Pizzo, and the garden of
the Observatory? Yes, truly: there he lies on his golden shield, never
stirring, never so much as lifting his eyelids, or opening his lips any
wider.
O vanitas vanitatum! Here is our Sovereign in all his glory, and they
fired a thousand guns at Cherbourg and never woke him!
However, we are advancing matters by several hours, and you must give
just as much credence as you please to the subjoined remarks concerning
the Procession, seeing that your humble servant could not possibly be
present at it, being bound for the church elsewhere.
Programmes, however, have been published of the affair, and your vivid
fancy will not fail to give life to them, and the whole magnificent
train will pass before you.
Fancy then, that the guns are fired at Neuilly: the body landed at
daybreak from the funereal barge, and transferred to the car; and fancy
the car, a huge Juggernaut of a machine, rolling on four wheels of an
antique shape, which supported a basement adorned with golden eagles,
banners, laurels, and velvet hangings. Above the hangings stand twelve
golden statues with raised arms supporting a huge shield, on which the
coffin lay. On the coffin was the imperial crown, covered with violet
velvet crape, and the whole vast machine was drawn by horses in superb
housings, led by valets in the imperial livery.