There was a great tea-drinking held in the Kirkgate of Irvine, at the
house of Miss Mally Glencairn; and at that assemblage of rank, beauty,
and fashion, among other delicacies of the season, several new-come-home
Clyde skippers, roaring from Greenock and Port-Glasgow, were served
up--but nothing contributed more to the entertainment of the evening than
a proposal, on the part of Miss Mally, that those present who had
received letters from the Pringles should read them for the benefit of
the company. This was, no doubt, a preconcerted scheme between her and
Miss Isabella Tod, to hear what Mr. Andrew Pringle had said to his friend
Mr. Snodgrass, and likewise what the Doctor himself had indited to Mr.
Micklewham; some rumour having spread of the wonderful escapes and
adventures of the family in their journey and voyage to London. Had
there not been some prethought of this kind, it was not indeed probable,
that both the helper and session-clerk of Garnock could have been there
together, in a party, where it was an understood thing, that not only
Whist and Catch Honours were to be played, but even obstreperous Birky
itself, for the diversion of such of the company as were not used to
gambling games. It was in consequence of what took place at this Irvine
route, that we were originally led to think of collecting the letters.
LETTER VIII
_Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
LONDON.
MY DEAR BELL--It was my heartfelt intention to keep a regular journal of
all our proceedings, from the sad day on which I bade a long adieu to my
native shades--and I persevered with a constancy becoming our dear and
youthful friendship, in writing down everything that I saw, either rare
or beautiful, till the hour of our departure from Leith. In that
faithful register of my feelings and reflections as a traveller, I
described our embarkation at Greenock, on board the steam-boat,--our
sailing past Port-Glasgow, an insignificant town, with a steeple;--the
stupendous rock of Dumbarton Castle, that Gibraltar of antiquity;--our
landing at Glasgow;--my astonishment at the magnificence of that opulent
metropolis of the muslin manufacturers; my brother's remark, that the
punch-bowls on the roofs of the Infirmary, the Museum, and the Trades
Hall, were emblematic of the universal estimation in which that
celebrated mixture is held by all ranks and degrees--learned, commercial,
and even medical, of the inhabitants;--our arrival at Edinburgh--my
emotion on beholding the Castle, and the visionary lake which may be
nightly seen from the windows of Princes Street, between the Old and New
Town, reflecting the lights of the lofty city beyond--with a thousand
other delightful and romantic circumstances, which render it no longer
surprising that the Edinburgh folk should be, as they think themselves,
the most accomplished people in the world. But, alas! from the moment I
placed my foot on board that cruel vessel, of which the very idea is
anguish, all thoughts were swallowed up in suffering-swallowed, did I
say? Ah, my dear Bell, it was the odious reverse--but imagination alone
can do justice to the subject. Not, however, to dwell on what is past,
during the whole time of our passage from Leith, I was unable to think,
far less to write; and, although there was a handsome young Hussar
officer also a passenger, I could not even listen to the elegant
compliments which he seemed disposed to offer by way of consolation, when
he had got the better of his own sickness. Neither love nor valour can
withstand the influence of that sea-demon. The interruption thus
occasioned to my observations made me destroy my journal, and I have now
to write to you only about London--only about London! What an expression
for this human universe, as my brother calls it, as if my weak feminine
pen were equal to the stupendous theme!
But, before entering on the subject, let me first satisfy the anxiety of
your faithful bosom with respect to my father's legacy. All the
accounts, I am happy to tell you, are likely to be amicably settled; but
the exact amount is not known as yet, only I can see, by my brother's
manner, that it is not less than we expected, and my mother speaks about
sending me to a boarding-school to learn accomplishments. Nothing,
however, is to be done until something is actually in hand. But what
does it all avail to me? Here am I, a solitary being in the midst of
this wilderness of mankind, far from your sympathising affection, with
the dismal prospect before me of going a second time to school, and
without the prospect of enjoying, with my own sweet companions, that
light and bounding gaiety we were wont to share, in skipping from tomb to
tomb in the breezy churchyard of Irvine, like butterflies in spring
flying from flower to flower, as a Wordsworth or a Wilson would express
it.
We have got elegant lodgings at present in Norfolk Street, but my brother
is trying, with all his address, to get us removed to a more fashionable
part of the town, which, if the accounts were once settled, I think will
take place; and he proposes to hire a carriage for a whole month.
Indeed, he has given hints about the saving that might be made by buying
one of our own; but my mother shakes her head, and says, "Andrew, dinna
be carri't." From all which it is very plain, though they don't allow me
to know their secrets, that the legacy is worth the coming for. But to
return to the lodgings;--we have what is called a first and second floor,
a drawing-room, and three handsome bedchambers. The drawing-room is very
elegant; and the carpet is the exact same pattern of the one in the
dress-drawing-room of Eglintoun Castle. Our landlady is indeed a lady,
and I am surprised how she should think of letting lodgings, for she
dresses better, and wears finer lace, than ever I saw in Irvine. But I
am interrupted.--
I now resume my pen. We have just had a call from Mrs. and Miss Argent,
the wife and daughter of the colonel's man of business. They seem great
people, and came in their own chariot, with two grand footmen behind; but
they are pleasant and easy, and the object of their visit was to invite
us to a family dinner to-morrow, Sunday. I hope we may become better
acquainted; but the two livery servants make such a difference in our
degrees, that I fear this is a vain expectation. Miss Argent was,
however, very frank, and told me that she was herself only just come to
London for the first time since she was a child, having been for the last
seven years at a school in the country. I shall, however, be better able
to say more about her in my next letter. Do not, however, be afraid that
she shall ever supplant you in my heart. No, my dear friend, companion
of my days of innocence,--that can never be. But this call from such
persons of fashion looks as if the legacy had given us some
consideration; so that I think my father and mother may as well let me
know at once what my prospects are, that I might show you how
disinterestedly and truly I am, my dear Bell, yours,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
When Miss Isabella Tod had read the letter, there was a solemn pause for
some time--all present knew something, more or less, of the fair writer;
but a carriage, a carpet like the best at Eglintoun, a Hussar officer,
and two footmen in livery, were phantoms of such high import, that no one
could distinctly express the feelings with which the intelligence
affected them. It was, however, unanimously agreed, that the Doctor's
legacy had every symptom of being equal to what it was at first expected
to be, namely, twenty thousand pounds;--a sum which, by some occult or
recondite moral influence of the Lottery, is the common maximum, in
popular estimation, of any extraordinary and indefinite windfall of
fortune. Miss Becky Glibbans, from the purest motives of charity,
devoutly wished that poor Rachel might be able to carry her full cup with
a steady hand; and the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, that so commendable an
expression might not lose its edifying effect by any lighter talk,
requested Mr. Micklewham to read his letter from the Doctor.
LETTER IX
_The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
Session-Clerk of Garnock_
LONDON.
DEAR SIR--I have written by the post that will take this to hand, a
letter to Banker M---y, at Irvine, concerning some small matters of money
that I may stand in need of his opinion anent; and as there is a prospect
now of a settlement of the legacy business, I wish you to take a step
over to the banker, and he will give you ten pounds, which you will
administer to the poor, by putting a twenty-shilling note in the plate on
Sunday, as a public testimony from me of thankfulness for the hope that
is before us; the other nine pounds you will quietly, and in your own
canny way, divide after the following manner, letting none of the
partakers thereof know from what other hand than the Lord's the help
comes, for, indeed, from whom but HIS does any good befall us!
You will give to auld Mizy Eccles ten shillings. She's a careful
creature, and it will go as far with her thrift as twenty will do with
Effy Hopkirk; so you will give Effy twenty. Mrs. Binnacle, who lost her
husband, the sailor, last winter, is, I am sure, with her two sickly
bairns, very ill off; I would therefore like if you will lend her a note,
and ye may put half-a-crown in the hand of each of the poor weans for a
playock, for she's a proud spirit, and will bear much before she
complain. Thomas Dowy has been long unable to do a turn of work, so you
may give him a note too. I promised that donsie body, Willy Shachle, the
betherel, that when I got my legacy, he should get a guinea, which would
be more to him than if the colonel had died at home, and he had had the
howking of his grave; you may therefore, in the meantime, give Willy a
crown, and be sure to warn him well no to get fou with it, for I'll be
very angry if he does. But what in this matter will need all your skill,
is the giving of the remaining five pounds to auld Miss Betty Peerie;
being a gentlewoman both by blood and education, she's a very slimmer
affair to handle in a doing of this kind. But I am persuaded she's in as
great necessity as many that seem far poorer, especially since the muslin
flowering has gone so down. Her bits of brats are sairly worn, though
she keeps out an apparition of gentility. Now, for all this trouble, I
will give you an account of what we have been doing since my last.
When we had gotten ourselves made up in order, we went, with Andrew
Pringle, my son, to the counting-house, and had a satisfactory vista of
the residue; but it will be some time before things can be
settled--indeed, I fear, not for months to come--so that I have been
thinking, if the parish was pleased with Mr. Snodgrass, it might be my
duty to my people to give up to him my stipend, and let him be appointed
not only helper, but successor likewise. It would not be right of me to
give the manse, both because he's a young and inexperienced man, and
cannot, in the course of nature, have got into the way of visiting the
sick-beds of the frail, which is the main part of a pastor's duty, and
likewise, because I wish to die, as I have lived, among my people. But,
when all's settled, I will know better what to do.
When we had got an inkling from Mr. Argent of what the colonel has
left,--and I do assure you, that money is not to be got, even in the way
of legacy, without anxiety,--Mrs. Pringle and I consulted together, and
resolved, that it was our first duty, as a token of our gratitude to the
Giver of all Good, to make our first outlay to the poor. So, without
saying a word either to Rachel, or to Andrew Pringle, my son, knowing
that there was a daily worship in the Church of England, we slipped out
of the house by ourselves, and, hiring a hackney conveyance, told the
driver thereof to drive us to the high church of St. Paul's. This was
out of no respect to the pomp and pride of prelacy, but to Him before
whom both pope and presbyter are equal, as they are seen through the
merits of Christ Jesus. We had taken a gold guinea in our hand, but
there was no broad at the door; and, instead of a venerable elder,
lending sanctity to his office by reason of his age, such as we see in
the effectual institutions of our own national church--the door was kept
by a young man, much more like a writer's whipper-snapper-clerk, than one
qualified to fill that station, which good King David would have
preferred to dwelling in tents of sin. However, we were not come to spy
the nakedness of the land, so we went up the outside stairs, and I asked
at him for the plate; "Plate!" says he; "why, it's on the altar!" I
should have known this--the custom of old being to lay the offerings on
the altar, but I had forgot; such is the force, you see, of habit, that
the Church of England is not so well reformed and purged as ours is from
the abominations of the leaven of idolatry. We were then stepping
forward, when he said to me, as sharply as if I was going to take an
advantage, "You must pay here." "Very well, wherever it is customary,"
said I, in a meek manner, and gave him the guinea. Mrs. Pringle did the
same. "I cannot give you change," cried he, with as little decorum as if
we had been paying at a playhouse. "It makes no odds," said I; "keep it
all." Whereupon he was so converted by the mammon of iniquity, that he
could not be civil enough, he thought--but conducted us in, and showed us
the marble monuments, and the French colours that were taken in the war,
till the time of worship--nothing could surpass his discretion.
At last the organ began to sound, and we went into the place of worship;
but oh, Mr. Micklewham, yon is a thin kirk. There was not a hearer forby
Mrs. Pringle and me, saving and excepting the relics of popery that
assisted at the service. What was said, I must, however, in verity
confess, was not far from the point. But it's still a comfort to see
that prelatical usurpations are on the downfall; no wonder that there is
no broad at the door to receive the collection for the poor, when no
congregation entereth in. You may, therefore, tell Mr. Craig, and it
will gladden his heart to hear the tidings, that the great Babylonian
madam is now, indeed, but a very little cutty.
On our return home to our lodgings, we found Andrew Pringle, my son, and
Rachel, in great consternation about our absence. When we told them that
we had been at worship, I saw they were both deeply affected; and I was
pleased with my children, the more so, as you know I have had my doubts
that Andrew Pringle's principles have not been strengthened by the
reading of the _Edinburgh Review_. Nothing more passed at that time, for
we were disturbed by a Captain Sabre that came up with us in the smack,
calling to see how we were after our journey; and as he was a civil
well-bred young man, which I marvel at, considering he's a Hussar
dragoon, we took a coach, and went to see the lions, as he said; but,
instead of taking us to the Tower of London, as I expected, he ordered
the man to drive us round the town. In our way through the city he
showed us the Temple Bar, where Lord Kilmarnock's head was placed after
the Rebellion, and pointed out the Bank of England and Royal Exchange.
He said the steeple of the Exchange was taken down shortly ago--and that
the late improvements at the Bank were very grand. I remembered having
read in the _Edinburgh Advertiser_, some years past, that there was a
great deal said in Parliament about the state of the Exchange, and the
condition of the Bank, which I could never thoroughly understand. And,
no doubt, the taking own of an old building, and the building up of a new
one so near together, must, in such a crowded city as this, be not only a
great detriment to business, but dangerous to the community at large.
After we had driven about for more than two hours, and neither seen lions
nor any other curiosity, but only the outside of houses, we returned
home, where we found a copperplate card left by Mr. Argent, the colonel's
agent, with the name of his private dwelling-house. Both me and Mrs.
Pringle were confounded at the sight of this thing, and could not but
think that it prognosticated no good; for we had seen the gentleman
himself in the forenoon. Andrew Pringle, my son, could give no
satisfactory reason for such an extraordinary manifestation of anxiety to
see us; so that, after sitting on thorns at our dinner, I thought that we
should see to the bottom of the business. Accordingly, a hackney was
summoned to the door, and me and Andrew Pringle, my son, got into it, and
told the man to drive to second in the street where Mr. Argent lived, and
which was the number of his house. The man got up, and away we went;
but, after he had driven an awful time, and stopping and inquiring at
different places, he said there was no such house as Second's in the
street; whereupon Andrew Pringle, my son, asked him what he meant, and
the man said that he supposed it was one Second's Hotel, or Coffee-house,
that we wanted. Now, only think of the craftiness of the ne'er-da-weel;
it was with some difficulty that I could get him to understand, that
second was just as good as number two; for Andrew Pringle, my son, would
not interfere, but lay back in the coach, and was like to split his sides
at my confabulating with the hackney man. At long and length we got to
the house, and were admitted to Mr. Argent, who was sitting by himself in
his library reading, with a plate of oranges, and two decanters with wine
before him. I explained to him, as well as I could, my surprise and
anxiety at seeing his card, at which he smiled, and said, it was merely a
sort of practice that had come into fashion of late years, and that,
although we had been at his counting-house in the morning, he considered
it requisite that he should call on his return from the city. I made the
best excuse I could for the mistake; and the servant having placed
glasses on the table, we were invited to take wine. But I was grieved to
think that so respectable a man should have had the bottles before him by
himself, the more especially as he said his wife and daughters had gone
to a party, and that he did not much like such sort of things. But for
all that, we found him a wonderful conversible man; and Andrew Pringle,
my son, having read all the new books put out at Edinburgh, could speak
with him on any subject. In the course of conversation they touched upon
politick economy, and Andrew Pringle, my son, in speaking about cash in
the Bank of England, told him what I had said concerning the alterations
of the Royal Exchange steeple, with which Mr. Argent seemed greatly
pleased, and jocosely proposed as a toast,--"May the country never suffer
more from the alterations in the Exchange, than the taking down of the
steeple." But as Mrs. Pringle is wanting to send a bit line under the
same frank to her cousin, Miss Mally Glencairn, I must draw to a
conclusion, assuring you, that I am, dear sir, your sincere friend and
pastor,
ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
The impression which this letter made on the auditors of Mr. Micklewham
was highly favourable to the Doctor--all bore testimony to his
benevolence and piety; and Mrs. Glibbans expressed, in very loquacious
terms, her satisfaction at the neglect to which prelacy was consigned.
The only person who seemed to be affected by other than the most sedate
feelings on the occasion was the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, who was observed to
smile in a very unbecoming manner at some parts of the Doctor's account
of his reception at St. Paul's. Indeed, it was apparently with the
utmost difficulty that the young clergyman could restrain himself from
giving liberty to his risible faculties. It is really surprising how
differently the same thing affects different people. "The Doctor and
Mrs. Pringle giving a guinea at the door of St. Paul's for the poor need
not make folk laugh," said Mrs. Glibbans; "for is it not written, that
whosoever giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord?" "True, my dear
madam," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "but the Lord to whom our friends in this
case gave their money is the Lord Bishop of London; all the collection
made at the doors of St. Paul's Cathedral is, I understand, a perquisite
of the Bishop's." In this the reverend gentleman was not very correctly
informed, for, in the first place, it is not a collection, but an
exaction; and, in the second place, it is only sanctioned by the Bishop,
who allows the inferior clergy to share the gains among themselves. Mrs.
Glibbans, however, on hearing his explanation, exclaimed, "Gude be about
us!" and pushing back her chair with a bounce, streaking down her gown at
the same time with both her hands, added, "No wonder that a judgment is
upon the land, when we hear of money-changers in the temple." Miss Mally
Glencairn, to appease her gathering wrath and holy indignation, said
facetiously, "Na, na, Mrs. Glibbans, ye forget, there was nae changing of
money there. The man took the whole guineas. But not to make a
controversy on the subject, Mr. Snodgrass will now let us hear what
Andrew Pringle, 'my son,' has said to him":--And the reverend gentleman
read the following letter with due circumspection, and in his best
manner:--
LETTER X
_Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass_
MY DEAR FRIEND--I have heard it alleged, as the observation of a great
traveller, that the manners of the higher classes of society throughout
Christendom are so much alike, that national peculiarities among them are
scarcely perceptible. This is not correct; the differences between those
of London and Edinburgh are to me very striking. It is not that they
talk and perform the little etiquettes of social intercourse differently;
for, in these respects, they are apparently as similar as it is possible
for imitation to make them; but the difference to which I refer is an
indescribable something, which can only be compared to peculiarities of
accent. They both speak the same language; perhaps in classical purity
of phraseology the fashionable Scotchman is even superior to the
Englishman; but there is a flatness of tone in his accent--a lack of what
the musicians call expression, which gives a local and provincial effect
to his conversation, however, in other respects, learned and intelligent.
It is so with his manners; he conducts himself with equal ease,
self-possession, and discernment, but the flavour of the metropolitan
style is wanting.
I have been led to make these remarks by what I noticed in the guests
whom I met on Friday at young Argent's. It was a small party, only five
strangers; but they seemed to be all particular friends of our host, and
yet none of them appeared to be on any terms of intimacy with each other.
In Edinburgh, such a party would have been at first a little cold; each
of the guests would there have paused to estimate the characters of the
several strangers before committing himself with any topic of
conversation. But here, the circumstance of being brought together by a
mutual friend, produced at once the purest gentlemanly confidence; each,
as it were, took it for granted, that the persons whom he had come among
were men of education and good-breeding, and, without deeming it at all
necessary that he should know something of their respective political and
philosophical principles, before venturing to speak on such subjects,
discussed frankly, and as things unconnected with party feelings,
incidental occurrences which, in Edinburgh, would have been avoided as
calculated to awaken animosities.
But the most remarkable feature of the company, small as it was,
consisted of the difference in the condition and character of the guests.
In Edinburgh the landlord, with the scrupulous care of a herald or
genealogist, would, for a party, previously unacquainted with each other,
have chosen his guests as nearly as possible from the same rank of life;
the London host had paid no respect to any such consideration--all the
strangers were as dissimilar in fortune, profession, connections, and
politics, as any four men in the class of gentlemen could well be. I
never spent a more delightful evening.
The ablest, the most eloquent, and the most elegant man present, without
question, was the son of a saddler. No expense had been spared on his
education. His father, proud of his talents, had intended him for a seat
in Parliament; but Mr. T--- himself prefers the easy enjoyments of
private life, and has kept himself aloof from politics and parties. Were
I to form an estimate of his qualifications to excel in public speaking,
by the clearness and beautiful propriety of his colloquial language, I
should conclude that he was still destined to perform a distinguished
part. But he is content with the liberty of a private station, as a
spectator only, and, perhaps, in that he shows his wisdom; for
undoubtedly such men are not cordially received among hereditary
statesmen, unless they evince a certain suppleness of principle, such as
we have seen in the conduct of more than one political adventurer.
The next in point of effect was young C--- G---. He evidently languished
under the influence of indisposition, which, while it added to the
natural gentleness of his manners, diminished the impression his
accomplishments would otherwise have made. I was greatly struck with the
modesty with which he offered his opinions, and could scarcely credit
that he was the same individual whose eloquence in Parliament is by many
compared even to Mr. Canning's, and whose firmness of principle is so
universally acknowledged, that no one ever suspects him of being liable
to change. You may have heard of his poem "On the Restoration of
Learning in the East," the most magnificent prize essay that the English
Universities have produced for many years. The passage in which he
describes the talents, the researches, and learning of Sir William Jones,
is worthy of the imagination of Burke; and yet, with all this oriental
splendour of fancy, he has the reputation of being a patient and
methodical man of business. He looks, however, much more like a poet or
a student, than an orator and a statesman; and were statesmen the sort of
personages which the spirit of the age attempts to represent them, I, for
one, should lament that a young man, possessed of so many amiable
qualities, all so tinted with the bright lights of a fine enthusiasm,
should ever have been removed from the moon-lighted groves and peaceful
cloisters of Magdalen College, to the lamp-smelling passages and factious
debates of St. Stephen's Chapel. Mr. G--- certainly belongs to that high
class of gifted men who, to the honour of the age, have redeemed the
literary character from the charge of unfitness for the concerns of
public business; and he has shown that talents for affairs of state,
connected with literary predilections, are not limited to mere reviewers,
as some of your old class-fellows would have the world to believe. When
I contrast the quiet unobtrusive development of Mr. G---'s character with
that bustling and obstreperous elbowing into notice of some of those to
whom the _Edinburgh Review_ owes half its fame, and compare the pure and
steady lustre of his elevation, to the rocket-like aberrations and
perturbed blaze of their still uncertain course, I cannot but think that
we have overrated, if not their ability, at least their wisdom in the
management of public affairs.
The third of the party was a little Yorkshire baronet. He was formerly
in Parliament, but left it, as he says, on account of its irregularities,
and the bad hours it kept. He is a Whig, I understand, in politics, and
indeed one might guess as much by looking at him; for I have always
remarked, that your Whigs have something odd and particular about them.
On making the same sort of remark to Argent, who, by the way, is a high
ministerial man, he observed, the thing was not to be wondered at,
considering that the Whigs are exceptions to the generality of mankind,
which naturally accounts for their being always in the minority. Mr.
T---, the saddler's son, who overheard us, said slyly, "That it might be
so; but if it be true that the wise are few compared to the multitude of
the foolish, things would be better managed by the minority than as they
are at present."
The fourth guest was a stock-broker, a shrewd compound, with all charity
be it spoken, of knavery and humour. He is by profession an epicure, but
I suspect his accomplishments in that capacity are not very well founded;
I would almost say, judging by the evident traces of craft and
dissimulation in his physiognomy, that they have been assumed as part of
the means of getting into good company, to drive the more earnest trade
of money-making. Argent evidently understood his true character, though
he treated him with jocular familiarity. I thought it a fine example of
the intellectual tact and superiority of T---, that he seemed to view him
with dislike and contempt. But I must not give you my reasons for so
thinking, as you set no value on my own particular philosophy; besides,
my paper tells me, that I have only room left to say, that it would be
difficult in Edinburgh to bring such a party together; and yet they
affect there to have a metropolitan character. In saying this, I mean
only with reference to manners; the methods of behaviour in each of the
company were precisely similar--there was no eccentricity, but only that
distinct and decided individuality which nature gives, and which no
acquired habits can change. Each, however, was the representative of a
class; and Edinburgh has no classes exactly of the same kind as those to
which they belonged.--Yours truly,
ANDREW PRINGLE.
Just as Mr. Snodgrass concluded the last sentence, one of the Clyde
skippers, who had fallen asleep, gave such an extravagant snore, followed
by a groan, that it set the whole company a-laughing, and interrupted the
critical strictures which would otherwise have been made on Mr. Andrew
Pringle's epistle. "Damn it," said he, "I thought myself in a fog, and
could not tell whether the land ahead was Plada or the Lady Isle." Some
of the company thought the observation not inapplicable to what they had
been hearing.
Miss Isabella Tod then begged that Miss Mally, their hostess, would
favour the company with Mrs. Pringle's communication. To this request
that considerate maiden ornament of the Kirkgate deemed it necessary, by
way of preface to the letter, to say, "Ye a' ken that Mrs. Pringle's a
managing woman, and ye maunna expect any metaphysical philosophy from
her." In the meantime, having taken the letter from her pocket, and
placed her spectacles on that functionary of the face which was destined
to wear spectacles, she began as follows:--
LETTER XI
_Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
MY DEAR MISS MALLY--We have been at the counting-house, and gotten a sort
of a satisfaction; what the upshot may be, I canna take it upon myself to
prognosticate; but when the waur comes to the worst, I think that baith
Rachel and Andrew will have a nest egg, and the Doctor and me may sleep
sound on their account, if the nation doesna break, as the argle-barglers
in the House of Parliament have been threatening: for all the cornal's
fortune is sunk at present in the pesents. Howsomever, it's our notion,
when the legacies are paid off, to lift the money out of the funds, and
place it at good interest on hairetable securitie. But ye will hear
aften from us, before things come to that, for the delays, and the
goings, and the comings in this town of London are past all expreshon.
As yet, we have been to see no fairlies, except going in a coach from one
part of the toun to another; but the Doctor and me was at the he-kirk of
Saint Paul's for a purpose that I need not tell you, as it was adoing
with the right hand what the left should not know. I couldna say that I
had there great pleasure, for the preacher was very cauldrife, and read
every word, and then there was such a beggary of popish prelacy, that it
was compassionate to a Christian to see.
We are to dine at Mr. Argent's, the cornal's hadgint, on Sunday, and me
and Rachel have been getting something for the okasion. Our landlady,
Mrs. Sharkly, has recommended us to ane of the most fashionable
millinders in London, who keeps a grand shop in Cranburn Alla, and she
has brought us arteecles to look at; but I was surprised they were not
finer, for I thought them of a very inferior quality, which she said was
because they were not made for no costomer, but for the public.
The Argents seem as if they would be discreet people, which, to us who
are here in the jaws of jeopardy, would be a great confort--for I am no
overly satisfeet with many things. What would ye think of buying coals
by the stimpert, for anything that I know, and then setting up the poker
afore the ribs, instead of blowing with the bellies to make the fire
burn? I was of a pinion that the Englishers were naturally masterful;
but I can ashure you this is no the case at all--and I am beginning to
think that the way of leeving from hand to mouth is great frugality, when
ye consider that all is left in the logive hands of uncercumseezed
servans.
But what gives me the most concern at this time is one Captain Sabre of
the Dragoon Hozars, who come up in the smak with us from Leith, and is
looking more after our Rachel than I could wish, now that she might set
her cap to another sort of object. But he's of a respectit family, and
the young lad himself is no to be despisid; howsomever, I never likit
officir-men of any description, and yet the thing that makes me look down
on the captain is all owing to the cornal, who was an officer of the
native poors of India, where the pay must indeed have been extraordinar,
for who ever heard either of a cornal, or any officer whomsoever, making
a hundred thousand pounds in our regiments? no that I say the cornal has
left so meikle to us.
Tell Mrs. Glibbans that I have not heard of no sound preacher as yet in
London--the want of which is no doubt the great cause of the crying sins
of the place. What would she think to hear of newspapers selling by tout
of horn on the Lord's day? and on the Sabbath night, the change-houses
are more throng than on the Saturday! I am told, but as yet I cannot say
that I have seen the evil myself with my own eyes, that in the summer
time there are tea-gardens, where the tradesmen go to smoke their pipes
of tobacco, and to entertain their wives and children, which can be
nothing less than a bringing of them to an untimely end. But you will be
surprised to hear, that no such thing as whusky is to be had in the
public-houses, where they drink only a dead sort of beer; and that a
bottle of true jennyinn London porter is rarely to be seen in the whole
town--all kinds of piple getting their porter in pewter cans, and a
laddie calls for in the morning to take away what has been yoused over
night. But what I most miss is the want of creem. The milk here is just
skimm, and I doot not, likewise well watered--as for the water, a drink
of clear wholesome good water is not within the bounds of London; and
truly, now may I say, that I have learnt what the blessing of a cup of
cold water is.
Tell Miss Nanny Eydent, that the day of the burial is now settled, when
we are going to Windsor Castle to see the precesson--and that, by the end
of the wick, she may expect the fashions from me, with all the
particulars. Till then, I am, my dear Miss Mally, your friend and
well-wisher,
JANET PRINGLE.
_Noto Beny_.--Give my kind compliments to Mrs. Glibbans, and let her
know, that I will, after Sunday, give her an account of the state of the
Gospel in London.
* * * * *
Miss Mally paused when she had read the letter, and it was unanimously
agreed, that Mrs. Pringle gave a more full account of London than either
father, son, or daughter.
By this time the night was far advanced, and Mrs. Glibbans was rising to
go away, apprehensive, as she observed, that they were going to bring
"the carts" into the room. Upon Miss Mally, however, assuring her that
no such transgression was meditated, but that she intended to treat them
with a bit nice Highland mutton ham, and eggs, of her own laying, that
worthy pillar of the Relief Kirk consented to remain.
It was past eleven o'clock when the party broke up; Mr. Snodgrass and Mr.
Micklewham walked home together, and as they were crossing the Red Burn
Bridge, at the entrance of Eglintoun Wood,--a place well noted from
ancient times for preternatural appearances, Mr. Micklewham declared that
he thought he heard something purring among the bushes; upon which Mr.
Snodgrass made a jocose observation, stating, that it could be nothing
but the effect of Lord North's strong ale in his head; and we should add,
by way of explanation, that the Lord North here spoken of was Willy
Grieve, celebrated in Irvine for the strength and flavour of his brewing,
and that, in addition to a plentiful supply of his best, Miss Mally had
entertained them with tamarind punch, constituting a natural cause
adequate to produce all the preternatural purring that terrified the
dominie.