How I kept House.--Maori Freebooters.--An Ugly Customer.--The
"Suaviter in Modo."--A Single Combat to amuse the Ladies.--The
true Maori Gentleman.--Character of the Maori People.
I never yet could get the proper knack of telling a story. Here I am
now, a good forty years ahead of where I ought to be, talking of "title
deeds" and "land commissioners," things belonging to the new and
deplorable state of affairs which began when this country became "a
British colony and possession," and also "one of the brightest jewels
in the British crown." I must go back.
Having purchased my "estate," I set up housekeeping. My house was a
good commodious _raupo_ building; and as I had a princely income of a
few hundred a year "in trade," I kept house in a very magnificent and
hospitable style. I kept always eight stout paid Maori retainers; the
pay being one fig of tobacco per week, and their potatoes, which was
about as much more. Their duties were not heavy; being chiefly to amuse
themselves fishing, wrestling, shooting pigeons, or pig-hunting, with
an occasional pull in the boat when I went on a water excursion.
Besides these paid retainers, there was always about a dozen hangers
on, who considered themselves apart of the establishment, and who, no
doubt, managed to live at my expense; but as that expense was merely a
few hundredweight of potatoes a week, and an odd pig now and then, it
was not perceptible in the good old times.
Indeed these hangers on, as I call them, were necessary; for now and
then, in those brave old times, little experiments would be made by
certain Maori gentlemen of freebooting propensities, who were in great
want of "British manufactures," to see what could be got by bullying
"the pakeha," and to whom a good display of physical force was the only
argument worth notice. These gentry generally came from a long
distance, made a sudden appearance, and, thanks to my faithful
retainers--who, as a matter of course, were all bound to fight for me,
though I should have found it hard to get much _work_ out of them--made
as sudden a retreat; though on one or two occasions, when my standing
army were accidentally absent, I had to do battle single-handed.
I think I have promised somewhere that I would perform a single combat
for the amusement of the ladies, and I may as well do it now as at any
other time. I shall, therefore, recount a little affair I had with one
of these gentry; as it is indeed quite necessary I should, if I am to
give any true idea of "the good old times." I must, however, protest
against the misdeeds of a few ruffians--human wolves--being charged
against the whole of their countrymen. At the time I am speaking of,
the only restraint on such people was the fear of retaliation, and the
consequence was, that often a dare-devil savage would run a long career
of murder, robbery, and outrage, before meeting with a check, simply
from the terror he inspired, and the "luck" which often accompanies
outrageous daring. At a time, however, and in a country like New
Zealand, where every man was a fighting man or nothing, these
desperadoes, sooner or later, came to grief; being at last invariably
shot, or run through the body, by some sturdy freeholder, whose rights
they had invaded.
I had two friends staying with me, young men who had come to see me
from the neighbouring colonies, and to take a summer tour in New
Zealand; and it so happened that no less than three times during my
absence from home, and when I had taken almost all my people along with
me, my castle had been invaded by one of the most notorious ruffians
who had ever been an impersonation of, or lived by, the law of force.
This interesting specimen of the _genus homo_ had, on the last of these
visits, demanded that my friends should hand over to him one pair of
blankets; but as the prospectus he produced, with respect to payment,
was not at all satisfactory, my friends declined to enter into the
speculation, the more particularly as the blankets were mine. Our
freebooting acquaintance then, to explain his views more clearly,
knocked both my friends down; threatened to kill them both with his
tomahawk; then rushed into the bedroom, dragged out all the bedclothes,
and burnt them on the kitchen fire.
This last affair was rather displeasing to me. I held to the theory
that every Englishman's house was his castle, and was moreover rather
savage at my guests having been so roughly handled. In fact I began to
feel that, though I had up to this time managed to hold my own pretty
well, I was at last in danger of falling under the imposition of "black
mail," and losing my _status_ as an independent potentate--a
_rangatira_ of the first water. I then and there declared loudly that
it was well for the offender that I had not been at home, and that if
ever he tried his tricks with _me_ he would find out his mistake. These
declarations of war, I perceived, were heard by my men in a sort of
incredulous silence (silence in New Zealand gives _dis_-sent), and
though the fellows were stout chaps who would not mind a row with any
ordinary mortal, I verily believe they would have all run at the first
appearance of this redoubted ruffian. Indeed his antecedents had been
such as might have almost been their excuse.
He had killed several men in fair fight, and had also--as was well
known--committed two most diabolical murders; one of which was on his
own wife, a fine young woman, whose brains he blew out at half a
second's notice for no further provocation than this:--he was sitting
in the verandah of his house, and told her to bring him a light for his
pipe. She, being occupied in domestic affairs, said, "Can't you fetch
it yourself? I am going for water." She had the calibash in her hand
and their infant child on her back. He snatched up his gun and
instantly shot her dead on the spot; and I had heard him afterwards
describing quite coolly the comical way in which her brains had been
knocked out by the shot with which the gun was loaded. He also had, for
some trifling provocation, lopped off the arm of his own brother, or
cousin, I forget which; and was, altogether, from his tremendous bodily
strength and utter insensibility to danger, about as "ugly a customer"
as one would care to meet.
I am now describing a regular Maori ruffian of the good old times; the
natural growth of a state of society wherein might was to a very great
extent right, and where bodily strength and courage were almost the
sole qualities for which a man was respected or valued. He was a
bullet-headed, scowling, bow-legged, broad-shouldered, herculean
savage, and all these qualifications combined made him unquestionably
"a great _rangatira_;" and, as he had never been defeated, his _mana_
was in full force.
A few weeks after the affair of the blankets, as I was sitting all
alone reading a Sydney newspaper (which, being only a year old, was
highly interesting), my friends and all my natives having gone on an
expedition to haul a large fishing-net, whom should I see enter the
room and squat down on the floor, as if taking permanent possession,
but the amiable and highly interesting individual I have taken so much
trouble to describe. He said nothing, but his posture and countenance
spoke whole volumes of defiance and murderous intent. He had heard of
the threats I had made against him, and there he was; let me turn him
out if I dare. That was his meaning,--there was no mistaking it.
I have all my life been an admirer of the _suaviter in modo_; though it
is quite out of place in New Zealand. If you tell a man--a Maori I
mean--in a gentle tone of voice and with a quiet manner that if he
continues a given line of conduct you will begin to commence to knock
him down, he simply disbelieves you, and thereby forces you to do that
which, if you could have persuaded yourself to have spoken very
uncivilly at first, there would have been no occasion for. I have seen
many proofs of this, and though I have done my best for many years to
improve the understanding of my Maori friends in this particular, I
find still there are but very few who can understand at all how it is
possible that the _suaviter in modo_ can be combined with the _fortiter
in re_. They in fact can't understand it, for some reason perfectly
inexplicable to me. It was, however, quite a matter of indifference, I
could perceive, how I should open proceedings with my friend; as he
evidently meant mischief. "Habit is second nature," so I instinctively
took to the _suaviter_.
"Friend," said I, in a very mild tone, and with as amiable a smile as I
could get up, in spite of a certain clenching of the teeth which
somehow came on me at the moment, "my advice to you is to be off." He
seemed to nestle himself firmer in his seat, and made no answer but a
scowl of defiance. "I am thinking, friend, that this is my house," said
I; and springing upon him, I placed my foot to his shoulder and gave a
shove which would have sent most people heels over head. Not so,
however, with my friend. It shook him, certainly, a little; but in an
instant, as quick as lightning, and as it appeared with a single
motion, he bounded from the ground, flung his mat away over his head,
and struck a furious blow at my head with his tomahawk. I escaped
instant death by a quickness equal to or greater than his own. My eye
was quick, and so was my arm: life was at stake. I caught the tomahawk
in full descent: the edge grazed my hand; but my arm, stiffened like a
bar of iron, arrested the blow.
He made one furious, but ineffectual, effort to tear the tomahawk from
my grasp; and then we seized one another round the middle, and
struggled like maniacs in the endeavour to dash each other against the
boarded floor; I holding on for dear life to the tomahawk, and making
desperate efforts to get it from him, but without a chance of success,
as it was fastened to his wrist by a strong thong of leather. He was,
as I soon found, somewhat stronger than me, and heavier; but I was as
active as a cat, and as long-winded as an emu, and very far from weak.
At last he got a _wiri_ round my leg; and had it not been for the table
on which we both fell, and which, in smashing to pieces, broke our
fall, I might have been disabled, and in that case instantly
tomahawked. We now rolled over and over on the floor like two mad
bulldogs; he trying to bite, and I trying to stun him by dashing his
bullet head against the floor. Up again!--still both holding on to the
tomahawk. Another furious struggle, in the course of which both our
heads, and half our bodies, were dashed through the two glass windows
in the room, and every single article of furniture was reduced to
atoms. Down again, rolling like mad, and dancing about amongst the
rubbish--the wreck of the house.
By this time we were both covered with blood from various wounds,
received I don't know how. I had been all this time fighting under a
great disadvantage, for my friend was trying to kill me, and I was only
trying to disarm and tie him up--a much harder thing than to kill. My
reason for going to this trouble was, that as there were no witnesses
to the row, if I killed him, I might have had serious difficulties with
his tribe.
Up again; another terrific tussle for the tomahawk; down again with a
crash: and so this life or death battle went on, down and up, up and
down, for a full hour. At last I perceived that my friend was getting
weaker, and felt that victory was only now a question of time. I, so
far from being fatigued, was even stronger. We had another desperate
wrestling match. I lifted my friend high in my arms, and dashed him,
panting, furious, foaming at the mouth--but _beaten_--against the
ground. There he lies: the worshipper of force. His God has deserted
him.
But no, not yet. He has one more chance; and a fatal one it nearly
proved to me. I began to unfasten the tomahawk from his wrist. An odd
expression came over his countenance. He spoke for the first time.
"Enough! I am beaten; let me rise." Now I had often witnessed the manly
and becoming manner in which some Maoris can take defeat, when they
have been defeated in what they consider fair play. I had also ceased
to fear my friend, and so incautiously let go his left arm. Quick as
lightning, he snatched at a large carving fork, which, unperceived by
me, was lying on the floor amongst the smashed furniture and _debris_
of my household effects; his fingers touched the handle and it rolled
away out of his reach: my life was saved. He then struck me with all
his remaining force on the side of the head, causing the blood to flow
out of my mouth. One more short struggle, and he was conquered.
But now I had at last got angry: the drunkenness, the exhilaration of
fight, which comes on some constitutions, was fairly on me. I had also
a consciousness that now I must kill my man, or, sooner or later, he
would kill me. I thought of the place I would bury him; how I would
stun him first with the back of the tomahawk, to prevent too much blood
being seen; how I would then carry him off (I could carry two such men
now, easy): I would _murder_ him and cover him up. I unwound the
tomahawk from his wrist: he was passive and helpless now. I wished he
was stronger, and told him to get up and "die standing," as his
countrymen say. I clutched the tomahawk for the _coup-de-grace_ (I
can't help it, young ladies, the devil is in me);--at this instant a
thundering sound of feet is heard--a whole tribe are coming!
Now am I either lost or saved!--saved from doing that which I should
afterwards repent, though constrained by necessity to do it. The rush
of charging feet comes closer, and in an instant comes dashing and
smashing through doors and windows, in breathless haste and alarm, a
whole tribe of friends. Small ceremony now with my antagonist. He was
dragged by the heels, stamped on, kicked, and thrown half-dead, or
nearly quite dead, into his canoe.
All the time we had been fighting, a little slave imp of a boy
belonging to my antagonist had been loading the canoe with my goods and
chattels, and had managed to make a very fair plunder of it. These were
all now brought back by my friends, except one cloth jacket, which
happened to be concealed under the _whariki_; and which I only mention
because I remember that the attempt to recover it some time afterwards
cost one of my friends his life. The savage scoundrel, who had so
nearly done for me, broke two of his ribs, and so otherwise injured him
that he never recovered, and died after lingering about a year. My
friends were going on a journey, and had called to see me as they
passed. They saw the slave boy employed as I have stated, and knowing
to whom he belonged had rushed at once to the rescue, little expecting
to find me alive.
I may as well now dispose of this friend of mine, by giving his after
history. He for a long time after our fight went continually armed with
a double gun, and said he would shoot me wherever he met me; he however
had had enough of attacking me in my "castle," and so did not call
there any more. I also went continually armed, and took care also to
have always some of my people at hand. After this, this fellow
committed two more murders, and also killed in fair fight with his own
hand the first man in a native battle, in which the numbers on each
side were about three hundred, and which I witnessed. The man he killed
was a remarkably fine young fellow, a great favourite of mine. At last,
having attacked and attempted to murder another native, he was shot
through the heart by the person he attempted to murder, and fell dead
on the spot, and so there died "a great _rangatira_." His tribe quietly
buried him and said no more about it, which showed their sense of
right. Had he been killed in what they considered an unjust manner,
they would have revenged his death at any cost; but I have no doubt
they themselves were glad to get rid of him, for he was a terror to all
about him. I have been in many a scrape both by sea and land, but I
must confess that I never met a more able hand at an argument than this
Maori _rangatira_.
I have not mentioned my friend's name with whom I had this discussion on
the rights of Englishmen, because he has left a son, who is a great
_rangatira_, and who might feel displeased if I was too particular; and
I am not quite so able now to carry out a "face-to-face" policy as I was
a great many years ago: besides there is a sort of "honour-amongst-thieves"
feeling between myself and my Maori friends on certain matters which we
mutually understand are not for the ears of the "new people."
Now, ladies, I call that a fairish good fight, considering no one is
killed on either side. I promise to be good in future and to keep the
peace, if people will let me; and indeed, I may as well mention, that
from that day to this I have never had occasion to explain again to a
Maori how it is that "every Englishman's house is his castle."
"Fair play is a jewel;" and I will here, as bound in honour to do,
declare that I have met amongst the natives with men who would be a
credit to any nation; men on whom nature had plainly stamped the mark
of "Noble," of the finest bodily form, quick and intelligent in mind,
polite and brave, and capable of the most self-sacrificing acts for the
good of others; patient, forbearing, and affectionate in their
families: in a word, gentlemen. These men were the more remarkable as
they had grown up surrounded by a set of circumstances of the most
unfavourable kind for the development of the qualities of which they
were possessed; and I have often looked on with admiration, when I have
seen them protesting against, and endeavouring to restrain some of, the
dreadful barbarities of their countrymen.
As for the Maori people in general, they are neither so good nor so bad
as their friends and enemies have painted them, and I suspect are
pretty much like what almost any other people would have become, if
subjected for ages to the same external circumstances. For ages they
have struggled against necessity in all its shapes. This has given to
them a remarkable greediness for gain in every visible and immediately
tangible form. It has even left its mark on their language. Without the
aid of iron the most trifling tool or utensil could only be procured by
an enormously disproportionate outlay of labour in its construction,
and, in consequence, it became precious to a degree scarcely
conceivable by people of civilized and wealthy countries. This great
value attached to personal property of all kinds, increased
proportionately the temptation to plunder; and where no law existed, or
could exist, of sufficient force to repress the inclination, every man,
as a natural consequence, became a soldier; if it were only for the
defence of his own property and that of those who were banded with
him--his tribe, or family.
From this state of things regular warfare arose, as a matter of course;
the military art was studied as a science, and brought to great
perfection, as applied to the arms used; and a marked military
character was given to the people. The necessity of labour, the
necessity of warfare, and a temperate climate, gave them strength of
body, accompanied by a perseverance and energy of mind, perfectly
astonishing. With rude and blunt stones they felled the giant
kauri--toughest of pines; and from it, in process of time, at an
expense of labour, perseverance, and ingenuity, perfectly astounding to
those who know what it really was, produced, carved, painted, and
inlaid, a masterpiece of art, and an object of beauty--the war canoe,
capable of carrying a hundred men on a distant expedition, through the
boisterous seas surrounding their island.
As a consequence of their warlike habits and character, they are
self-possessed and confident in themselves and their own powers, and
have much diplomatic finesse and casuistry at command. Their
intelligence causes them theoretically to acknowledge the benefits of
law, which they see established amongst us; but their hatred of
restraint causes them practically to abhor and resist its full
enforcement amongst themselves. Doubting our professions of friendship,
fearing our ultimate designs, led astray by false friends, possessed of
that "little learning" which is, in their case, most emphatically "a
dangerous thing," and divided amongst themselves,--such are the people
with whom we are now in contact--such the people to whom, for our own
safety and their preservation, we must give new laws and institutions,
new habits of life, new ideas, sentiments and information--whom we must
either civilize or, by our mere contact, exterminate. How is this to be
done?[1] Let me see. I think I shall not answer this question until I
am prime minister.
[1] PRINTER'S DEVIL.--How is _this_ to be done?--_which?_--_civilize_
or _exterminate_? PAKEHA MAORI.--_Eaha mau._