NIGHT & DAY HOUSE
On the South Corner
With a Port-Hole on the Side
Hot Meals
and
Other Entertainments
at all hours
"WE NEVER SLEEP"
The rush of arrivals was so great that I was soon obliged to remove the
sign and "close the house."
But a great catastrophe was shortly to happen which cast a gloom over
the Alley and plunged us into a miniature _Republic_ disaster. A big
salt water pipe was hung from the ceiling of the Alley passage; and
what do you think! under strong pressure it burst with a loud noise one
morning when we were dressing for breakfast and flooded the rooms of
the entire colony before we could say "Jack Robinson!" Such a
scurrying into bath robes and jumping out of staterooms were never
seen! I felt that owing to my high standing and responsible position
in the "Alley," and having in mind the fame of Binns (of the
_Republic_, the "wireless" hero of Nantucket shoals), it was incumbent
on me to ignore my personal effects and comfort in an attempt to save
the ladies and their _lingerie_ at any price. So I slipped on my
trusty rain coat, and handed them out under a spread umbrella, one by
one, to a place of safety, I being the very last man to leave the Alley
and even then with reluctance. But mind you, I never took my eyes off
the floor! they were glued to it all the while this transfer was being
made. (Although when I afterward mentioned this circumstance, some
lady slung the javelin into me from ambush by saying
sarcastically--"Oh, yes indeed! 'glued to the floor' the way the
average man's eyes are riveted to the sidewalk when he passes the
Flatiron Building on a windy day!") But I was determined to make it a
wholesale sacrifice, and I did it! This Spartan performance was
generously rewarded, for I was added instanter to the _Cork's_ "Hall of
Fame" as the "Hero of the Deluge."
All our things were taken down to the furnace room and dried in a short
time, and the Alley quickly regained its dignity and composure. I had
to repair the damages to my room, but soon got it in perfect running
order again; with added improvements it became a veritable Bohemian
dream and I would not have left it for worlds. I could lie on my bed
and get a drink of water without rising, reach for a cigar, sew on a
missing button, open my treasury vaults to see how the funds were
holding out, and when dressing could sit down on my only seat, a
ten-cent camp stool, and take a short smoke while Steward Griffiths was
filling my bath tub. But I was far from civilization, as the
first-cabin baths were up two deck flights, then down one and back
through a passage underneath where you started from; the round trip was
a ten minutes' walk. I consoled myself with the reflection that it was
needed exercise and in the best interests of hygiene.
The delights of Funchal exhausted, we were off again for a visit to
Spain, landing after a short run at Cadiz.