"My dear, when a woman exaggerates to that extent it generally means
one thing."
"Not with her. She wouldn't do it if it meant that. She'd be afraid
to let herself go. And she isn't afraid. She just piles it on
because she's so sure of herself--so sure that she isn't what you
say she is."
"I don't say she knows she's in love with you. She doesn't know it."
"Can you be in love without knowing it?"
"She could. If she knew it, do you think she'd have let me see it?
And do you think I'd have given her away? I wouldn't now, only I
know what you are, and she doesn't."
"No, indeed. You're right enough there."
They paused on that.
"You're quite sure," she said, "that you can't----"
It was as if she probed him, delicately, on behalf of their tragic
friend. She turned her eyes away as she did it, that she might not
see him shrink.
"No," he said. "Never again. Never again."
She withdrew the pressure of the gentle finger that had given him
pain. "I only thought--" she murmured.
"What did you think?"
"That it might be nice for both of you."
"It wouldn't be nice for either of us. Not nice at all."
"Well, then, I can only see one thing."
"I know. You're going to say I must leave off seeing her?"
"No. I don't say that."
"I do, though. If I were sure----"
"You may be sure of one thing. That she doesn't know what's the
matter with her--yet. She mustn't know. If you do go and see her,
you must be careful not to let her find out. I did my best to hide
it, to cover it up, so that she shouldn't see."
"Your suspicion?"
"What do you think we're made of? The truth--the truth."
"If this is the truth, I mustn't, of course, go near her. But I know
you're mistaken."
"Have I ever been mistaken? Have I ever told you wrong?"
"Well, Julia, you're a very wise woman, and I'll admit that, when
you've warned me off anybody, you've warned me for my good."
She colored. "I'm not warning you 'off' anybody now. I've warned you
before for your own sake. I'm warning you this time for hers."
"I see. I see that, all right. But--you never saw a woman like her,
did you? I wonder if you understand her."
"I do understand her. You can't look at her and not see that she has
a profound capacity for suffering."
"I know."
Of course he knew. Hadn't he called her the Musa Dolorosa?
"Just because," said Julia, "she has imagination."
He had said good-bye and was going; but at the doorway he turned to
her again.
"No," he said, "you're wrong, Julia. She's not like that."
Julia arched her brows over eyes tender with compassion--compassion
for his infinite stupidity.
"Oh, my dear!" she cried, and waved him away as a creature hopeless,
impossible to help.
He closed the door and stood with his back to it, facing her.
"Well," he said, "you may be right; but before I do anything I must
be sure."
"How do you propose to make sure?"
"I shall go and see her."
"Of course," said Julia, "you'll go and see her."
V
He went on to Montagu Street, so convinced was he that Julia was
mistaken.
Freda knew well what she was going to say to him. She had chosen her
path, the highest, the farthest from the abyss. Once there she could
let herself go.
He himself led her there; he started her. He brought praises of the
gift.
Other people, he said, were beginning to rave about it now.
"I wish they wouldn't," said she. "It makes me feel so dishonest."
"Dishonest?"
"As if I'd taken something that didn't belong to me. It doesn't
belong to me."
"What doesn't?"
"It--the gift! I feel as if it had never had anything--really--to do
with me."
"Ah, that's the way to tell that you've got it."
"I know, but I don't mean that. I mean--it does belong so very much
to somebody else, that I ought almost to give it back."
He had always wondered how she did it. Now for one moment he
believed that she was about to clear up her little mystery. She was
going to tell him that she hadn't done it at all, that somebody else
had borrowed her name for some incomprehensible purpose of
concealment. She was going to make an end of Freda Farrar.
"Of course," she said, "I know you don't want it back."
"I?"
"Yes. It's really yours, you know. I should never have had it at all
if it hadn't been for you."
"I'm very glad," he said gravely, "if I've helped you."