He advised me to go to Gravesend by land, and there wait the arrival of

his ship, assigning many reasons for this, every one of which was, as I

well remember, among those that had before determined me to go on board

near the Tower.

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THE VOYAGE.

_Wednesday, June 26, 1754._--On this day the most melancholy sun I had

ever beheld arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook. By the

light of this sun I was, in my own opinion, last to behold and take

leave of some of those creatures on whom I doated with a mother-like

fondness, guided by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened by

all the doctrine of that philosophical school where I had learned to

bear pains and to despise death.

In this situation, as I could not conquer Nature, I submitted entirely

to her, and she made as great a fool of me as she had ever done of any

woman whatsoever; under pretence of giving me leave to enjoy, she drew

me in to suffer, the company of my little ones during eight hours; and I

doubt not whether, in that time, I did not undergo more than in all my

distemper.

At twelve precisely my coach was at the door, which was no sooner told

me than I kissed my children round, and went into it with some little

resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine and philosopher,

though at the same time the tenderest mother in the world, and my eldest

daughter, followed me; some friends went with us, and others here took

their leave; and I heard my behaviour applauded, with many murmurs and

praises to which I well knew I had no title; as all other such

philosophers may, if they have any modesty, confess on the like

occasions.

In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe, and immediately went on board,

and were to have sailed the next morning; but, as this was the king's

proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the custom-house, the

captain could not clear his vessel till the Thursday; for these holidays

are as strictly observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almost

as numerous. I might add that both are opposite to the genius of trade,

and consequently _contra bonum publicum_.

To go on board the ship it was necessary first to go into a boat; a

matter of no small difficulty, as I had no use of my limbs, and was to

be carried by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burthen,

were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing. Of this, as few

of my readers have not gone into wherries on the Thames, they will

easily be able to form to themselves an idea. However, by the assistance

of my friend Mr Welch, whom I never think or speak of but with love and

esteem, I conquered this difficulty, as I did afterwards that of

ascending the ship, into which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair

lifted with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair in the cabin, to

refresh myself after a fatigue which had been more intolerable, in a

quarter of a mile's passage from my coach to the ship, than I had before

undergone in a land-journey of twelve miles, which I had travelled with

the utmost expedition.

This latter fatigue was, perhaps, somewhat heightened by an indignation

which I could not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon my entrance

into the boat, I presented a spectacle of the highest horror. The total

loss of limbs was apparent to all who saw me, and my face contained

marks of a most diseased state, if not of death itself. Indeed, so

ghastly was my countenance, that timorous women with child had abstained

from my house, for fear of the ill consequences of looking at me. In

this condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think I may justly call it)

through rows of sailors and watermen, few of whom failed of paying their

compliments to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery. No

man who knew me will think I conceived any personal resentment at this

behaviour; but it was a lively picture of that cruelty and inhumanity in

the nature of men which I have often contemplated with concern, and

which leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable and melancholy

thoughts. It may be said that this barbarous custom is peculiar to the

English, and of them only to the lowest degree; that it is an

excrescence of an uncontrouled licentiousness mistaken for liberty, and

never shews itself in men who are polished and refined in such manner as

human nature requires to produce that perfection of which it is

susceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of disposition of which,

at our birth, we partake in common with the savage creation.

This may be said, and this is all that can be said; and it is, I am

afraid, but little satisfactory to account for the inhumanity of those

who, while they boast of being made after God's own image, seem to bear

in their minds a resemblance of the vilest species of brutes; or rather,

indeed, of our idea of devils; for I don't know that any brutes can be

taxed with such malevolence.

A surloin of beef was now placed on the table, for which, though little

better than carrion, as much was charged by the master of the little

paltry ale-house who dressed it as would have been demanded for all the

elegance of the King's Arms, or any other polite tavern or eating-house!

for, indeed, the difference between the best house and the worst is,

that at the former you pay largely for luxury, at the latter for

nothing.

_Thursday, June 27._--This morning the captain, who lay on shore at his

own house, paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angry

bashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to be pleased, he would

not have carried us for five hundred pounds. He added many asseverations

that he was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting several

hints of the presents which had been made him for his cabin, of twenty,

thirty, and forty guineas, by several gentlemen, over and above the sum

for which they had contracted. This behaviour greatly surprised me, as I

knew not how to account for it, nothing having happened since we parted

from the captain the evening before in perfect good-humour; and all this

broke forth on the first moment of his arrival this morning. He did not,

however, suffer my amazement to have any long continuance before he

clearly shewed me that all this was meant only as an apology to

introduce another procrastination (being the fifth) of his weighing

anchor, which was now postponed till Saturday, for such was his will and

pleasure.

Besides the disagreeable situation in which we then lay, in the confines

of Wapping and Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air of

both these sweet places, and enjoying the concord of sweet sounds of

seamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women, and of all the vociferous

inhabitants of both shores, composing altogether a greater variety of

harmony than Hogarth's imagination hath brought together in that print

of his, which is enough to make a man deaf to look at--I had a more

urgent cause to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy, for

which I had undergone three tappings, seemed to threaten me with a

fourth discharge before I should reach Lisbon, and when I should have

nobody on board capable of performing the operation; but I was obliged

to hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the captain's own words,

and to rest myself contented. Indeed, there was no alternative within my

reach but what would have cost me much too dear.

There are many evils in society from which people of the highest rank

are so entirely exempt, that they have not the least knowledge or idea

of them; nor indeed of the characters which are formed by them. Such,

for instance, is the conveyance of goods and passengers from one place

to another. Now there is no such thing as any kind of knowledge

contemptible in itself; and, as the particular knowledge I here mean is

entirely necessary to the well understanding and well enjoying this

journal; and, lastly, as in this case the most ignorant will be those

very readers whose amusement we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish to

be supposed principally to write, we will here enter somewhat largely

into the discussion of this matter; the rather, for that no antient or

modern author (if we can trust the catalogue of doctor Mead's library)

hath ever undertaken it, but that it seems (in the style of Don Quixote)

a task reserved for my pen alone.

When I first conceived this intention I began to entertain thoughts of

enquiring into the antiquity of travelling; and, as many persons have

performed in this way (I mean have travelled) at the expence of the

public, I flattered myself that the spirit of improving arts and

sciences, and of advancing useful and substantial learning, which so

eminently distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to more

speculative societies in Europe than I at present can recollect the

names of--perhaps, indeed, than I or any other, besides their very near

neighbours, ever heard mentioned--would assist in promoting so curious a

work; a work begun with the same views, calculated for the same

purposes, and fitted for the same uses, with the labours which those

right honourable societies have so chearfully undertaken themselves, and

encouraged in others; sometimes with the highest honours, even with

admission into their colleges, and with inrolment among their members.

From these societies I promised myself all assistance in their power,

particularly the communication of such valuable manuscripts and records

as they must be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages of

antiquity when history yields us such imperfect accounts of the

residence, and much more imperfect of the travels, of the human race;

unless, perhaps, as a curious and learned member of the young Society of

Antiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures, that their

residence and their travels were one and the same; and this discovery

(for such it seems to be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by

accident on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention presently,

the contents of which were then little known to the society.

The king of Prussia, moreover, who, from a degree of benevolence and

taste which in either case is a rare production in so northern a

climate, is the great encourager of art and science, I was well assured

would promote so useful a design, and order his archives to be searched

on my behalf.

But after well weighing all these advantages, and much meditation on the

order of my work, my whole design was subverted in a moment by hearing

of the discovery just mentioned to have been made by the young

antiquarian, who, from the most antient record in the world (though I

don't find the society are all agreed on this point), one long preceding

the date of the earliest modern collections, either of books or

butterflies, none of which pretend to go beyond the flood, shews us that

the first man was a traveller, and that he and his family were scarce

settled in Paradise before they disliked their own home, and became

passengers to another place. Hence it appears that the humour of

travelling is as old as the human race, and that it was their curse from

the beginning.

By this discovery my plan became much shortened, and I found it only

necessary to treat of the conveyance of goods and passengers from place

to place; which, not being universally known, seemed proper to be

explained before we examined into its original. There are indeed two

different ways of tracing all things used by the historian and the

antiquary; these are upwards and downwards. The former shews you how

things are, and leaves to others to discover when they began to be so.

The latter shews you how things were, and leaves their present existence

to be examined by others. Hence the former is more useful, the latter

more curious. The former receives the thanks of mankind; the latter of

that valuable part, the virtuosi.

In explaining, therefore, this mystery of carrying goods and passengers

from one place to another, hitherto so profound a secret to the very

best of our readers, we shall pursue the historical method, and

endeavour to shew by what means it is at present performed, referring

the more curious enquiry either to some other pen or to some other

opportunity.

Now there are two general ways of performing (if God permit) this

conveyance, viz., by land and water, both of which have much variety;

that by land being performed in different vehicles, such as coaches,

caravans, waggons, &c.; and that by water in ships, barges, and boats,

of various sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods of

conveyance are formed on the same principles, they agree so well

together, that it is fully sufficient to comprehend them all in the

general view, without descending to such minute particulars as would

distinguish one method from another.

Common to all of these is one general principle, that, as the goods to

be conveyed are usually the larger, so they are to be chiefly considered

in the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more than an appendage

to his trunk, or box, or bale, or at best a small part of his own

baggage, very little care is to be taken in stowing or packing them up

with convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of passengers and

goods, but of goods and passengers.

Secondly, from this conveyance arises a new kind of relation, or rather

of subjection, in the society, by which the passenger becomes bound in

allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is indeed only temporary and

local, but the most absolute during its continuance of any known in

Great Britain, and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the liberties

of a free people, nor could it be reconciled with them, did it not move

downwards; a circumstance universally apprehended to be incompatible to

all kinds of slavery; for Aristotle in his Politicks hath proved

abundantly to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves, except

barbarians; and these only to such as are not themselves barbarians; and

indeed Mr Montesquieu hath carried it very little farther in the case of

the Africans; the real truth being that no man is born to be a slave,

unless to him who is able to make him so.

Thirdly, this subjection is absolute, and consists of a perfect

resignation both of body and soul to the disposal of another; after

which resignation, during a certain time, his subject retains no more

power over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an English wife, by

the laws of both countries, and by the customs of one of them. If I

should mention the instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readers

would recognise the truth of what I have here observed; all, indeed,

that ever have been under the dominion of that tyrant, who in this free

country is as absolute as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his

power is defective; he cannot press you into his service, and if you

enter yourself at one place, on condition of being discharged at a

certain time at another, he is obliged to perform his agreement, if God

permit, but all the intermediate time you are absolutely under his

government; he carries you how he will, when he will, and whither he

will, provided it be not much out of the road; you have nothing to eat

or to drink, but what, and when, and where he pleases. Nay, you cannot

sleep unless he pleases you should; for he will order you sometimes out

of bed at midnight and hurry you away at a moment's warning: indeed, if

you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot prevent it; nay, indeed, to give

him his due, this he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for the

earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more time he will give

you in the heat of the day, sometimes even six hours at an ale-house, or

at their doors, where he always gives you the same indulgence which he

allows himself; and for this he is generally very moderate in his

demands. I have known a whole bundle of passengers charged no more than

half-a-crown for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house door for

above a whole hour, and that even in the hottest day in summer.

But as this kind of tyranny, though it hath escaped our political

writers, hath been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite

among the generality of readers; and as this and all other kinds of such

subjection are alike unknown to my friends, I will quit the passengers

by land, and treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is said on

this subject is applicable to both alike, and we may bring them together

as closely as they are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommended

to the prayers of all Christian congregations; and (which I have often

thought very remarkable) where they are joined with other miserable

wretches, such as women in labour, people in sickness, infants just

born, prisoners and captives.

Goods and passengers are conveyed by water in divers vehicles, the

principal of which being a ship, it shall suffice to mention that alone.

Here the tyrant doth not derive his title, as the stage-coachman doth,

from the vehicle itself in which he stows his goods and passengers, but

he is called the captain--a word of such various use and uncertain

signification, that it seems very difficult to fix any positive idea to

it: if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may comprehend all

its different uses, that of the head or chief of any body of men seems

to be most capable of this comprehension; for whether they be a company

of soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues, he who is at the

head of them is always stiled the captain.

The particular tyrant whose fortune it was to stow us aboard laid a

farther claim to this appellation than the bare command of a vehicle of

conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer, which he chose to

call being in the king's service, and thence derived a right of hoisting

the military ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat. He

likewise wore a sword of no ordinary length by his side, with which he

swaggered in his cabin, among the wretches his passengers, whom he had

stowed in cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very singular

character. He had taken it into his head that he was a gentleman, from

those very reasons that proved he was not one; and to shew himself a

fine gentleman, by a behaviour which seemed to insinuate he had never

seen one. He was, moreover, a man of gallantry; at the age of seventy he

had the finicalness of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly;

and, while he was deaf himself, had a voice capable of deafening all

others.

Now, as I saw myself in danger by the delays of the captain, who was, in

reality, waiting for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested,

as it were, in the south-west, where it constantly blew hurricanes, I

began with great reason to apprehend that our voyage might be long, and

that my belly, which began already to be much extended, would require

the water to be let out at a time when no assistance was at hand;

though, indeed, the captain comforted me with assurances that he had a

pretty young fellow on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he

likewise did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short, he had as many

offices as Scrub in the play, and went through them all with great

dexterity; this of surgeon was, perhaps, the only one in which his skill

was somewhat deficient, at least that branch of tapping for the dropsy;

for he very ingenuously and modestly confessed he had never seen the

operation performed, nor was possessed of that chirurgical instrument

with which it is performed.

_Friday, June 28._--By way of prevention, therefore, I this day sent for

my friend Mr Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of Covent-garden;

and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight, let out ten quarts

of water; the young sea-surgeon attended the operation, not as a

performer, but as a student.

I was now eased of the greatest apprehension which I had from the length

of the passage; and I told the captain I was become indifferent as to

the time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction in this

declaration, and at hearing from me that I found myself, since my

tapping, much lighter and better. In this, I believe, he was sincere;

for he was, as we shall have occasion to observe more than once, a very

good-natured man; and, as he was a very brave one too, I found that the

heroic constancy with which I had borne an operation that is attended

with scarce any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his esteem.

That he might adhere, therefore, in the most religious and rigorous

manner to his word, when he had no longer any temptation from interest

to break it, as he had no longer any hopes of more goods or passengers,

he ordered his ship to fall down to Gravesend on Sunday morning, and

there to wait his arrival.

_Sunday, June 30._--Nothing worth notice passed till that morning, when

my poor wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments of the

toothache, resolved to have it drawn. I despatched therefore a servant

into Wapping to bring in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find. He

soon found out a female of great eminence in the art; but when he

brought her to the boat, at the water-side, they were informed that the

ship was gone; for indeed she had set out a few minutes after his

quitting her; nor did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which I had

sent my servant, think fit to wait a moment for his return, or to give

me any notice of his setting out, though I had very patiently attended

the delays of the captain four days, after many solemn promises of

weighing anchor every one of the three last.

But of all the petty bashaws or turbulent tyrants I ever beheld, this

sour-faced pilot was the worst tempered; for, during the time that he

had the guidance of the ship, which was till we arrived in the Downs, he

complied with no one's desires, nor did he give a civil word, or indeed

a civil look, to any on board.

The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before, was one of great eminence among

her neighbours, refused to follow the ship; so that my man made himself

the best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with us before we

were got under full sail; for after that, as we had both wind and tide

with us, he would have found it impossible to overtake the ship till she

was come to an anchor at Gravesend.

The morning was fair and bright, and we had a passage thither, I think,

as pleasant as can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages,

particularly the number of fine ships you are always sure of seeing by

the way, there is nothing to equal it in all the rivers of the world.

The yards of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give us a

just idea of the great perfection to which we are arrived in building

those floating castles, and the figure which we may always make in

Europe among the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at least, very

strongly imprinted this idea on my mind; for there was now on the stocks

there the Royal Anne, supposed to be the largest ship ever built, and

which contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped a

first-rate.

It is true, perhaps, that there is more of ostentation than of real

utility in ships of this vast and unwieldy burthen, which are rarely

capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building such contributes

to preserve, among other nations, the notion of the British superiority

in naval affairs, the expence, though very great, is well incurred, and

the ostentation is laudable and truly political. Indeed, I should be

sorry to allow that Holland, France, or Spain, possessed a vessel larger

and more beautiful than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this

honour I would always administer to the pride of our sailors, who should

challenge it from all their neighbours with truth and success. And sure

I am that not our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of this

island, may exult in the comparison, when he considers the king of Great

Britain as a maritime prince, in opposition to any other prince in

Europe; but I am not so certain that the same idea of superiority will

result from comparing our land forces with those of many other crowned

heads. In numbers they all far exceed us, and in the goodness and

splendour of their troops many nations, particularly the Germans and

French, and perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance; for, however we

may flatter ourselves with the Edwards and Henrys of former ages, the

change of the whole art of war since those days, by which the advantage

of personal strength is in a manner entirely lost, hath produced a

change in military affairs to the advantage of our enemies. As for our

successes in later days, if they were not entirely owing to the superior

genius of our general, they were not a little due to the superior force

of his money. Indeed, if we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentation

when he shewed his army, drawn up, to our captive general, the day after

the battle of La Val, we cannot say that the ostentation was entirely

vain; since he certainly shewed him an army which had not been often

equalled, either in the number or goodness of the troops, and which, in

those respects, so far exceeded ours, that none can ever cast any

reflexion on the brave young prince who could not reap the lawrels of

conquest in that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned as an

addition to his glory.

In our marine the case is entirely the reverse, and it must be our own

fault if it doth not continue so; for continue so it will as long as the

flourishing state of our trade shall support it, and this support it can

never want till our legislature shall cease to give sufficient attention

to the protection of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficient

power, ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a circumstance not to

be apprehended, as it cannot happen till our senates and our benches

shall be filled with the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest

corruption.

Besides the ships in the docks, we saw many on the water: the yatchts

are sights of great parade, and the king's body yatcht is, I believe,

unequalled in any country for convenience as well as magnificence; both

which are consulted in building and equipping her with the most

exquisite art and workmanship.

We saw likewise several Indiamen just returned from their voyage. These

are, I believe, the largest and finest vessels which are anywhere

employed in commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise, which are very

numerous, and even assemble in fleets, are ships of great bulk; and if

we descend to those used in the American, African, and European trades,

and pass through those which visit our own coasts, to the small craft

that lie between Chatham and the Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing

object to the eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of an

Englishman who has any degree of love for his country, or can recognise

any effect of the patriot in his constitution.

Lastly, the Royal Hospital at Greenwich, which presents so delightful a

front to the water, and doth such honour at once to its builder and the

nation, to the great skill and ingenuity of the one, and to the no less

sensible gratitude of the other, very properly closes the account of

this scene; which may well appear romantic to those who have not

themselves seen that, in this one instance, truth and reality are

capable, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fiction.

When we had past by Greenwich we saw only two or three gentlemen's

houses, all of very moderate account, till we reached Gravesend: these

are all on the Kentish shore, which affords a much drier, wholesomer,

and pleasanter situation, than doth that of its opposite, Essex. This

circumstance, I own, is somewhat surprising to me, when I reflect on the

numerous villas that crowd the river from Chelsea upwards as far as

Shepperton, where the narrower channel affords not half so noble a

prospect, and where the continual succession of the small craft, like

the frequent repetition of all things, which have nothing in them great,

beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye, and give us distaste and

aversion, instead of pleasure. With some of these situations, such as

Barnes, Mortlake, &c., even the shore of Essex might contend, not upon

very unequal terms; but on the Kentish borders there are many spots to

be chosen by the builder which might justly claim the preference over

almost the very finest of those in Middlesex and Surrey.

How shall we account for this depravity in taste? for surely there are

none so very mean and contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing a

number of little wherries, gliding along after one another, in

competition with what we enjoy in viewing a succession of ships, with

all their sails expanded to the winds, bounding over the waves before

us.

And here I cannot pass by another observation on the deplorable want of

taste in our enjoyments, which we shew by almost totally neglecting the

pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree of amusement; this is,

the sailing ourselves in little vessels of our own, contrived only for

our ease and accommodation, to which such situations of our villas as I

have recommended would be so convenient, and even necessary.

This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed in any perfection, would be of the

expensive kind; but such expence would not exceed the reach of a

moderate fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which are

daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate. The truth, I believe,

is, that sailing in the manner I have just mentioned is a pleasure

rather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected by those who have

experienced it; unless, perhaps, the apprehension of danger or

sea-sickness may be supposed, by the timorous and delicate, to make too

large deductions--insisting that all their enjoyments shall come to them

pure and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out,

----Nocet empta dolore voluptas.

This, however, was my present case; for the ease and lightness which I

felt from my tapping, the gaiety of the morning, the pleasant sailing

with wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with which I was

constantly entertained during the whole way, were all suppressed and

overcome by the single consideration of my wife's pain, which continued

incessantly to torment her till we came to an anchor, when I dispatched

a messenger in great haste for the best reputed operator in Gravesend. A

surgeon of some eminence now appeared, who did not decline

tooth-drawing, though he certainly would have been offended with the

appellation of tooth-drawer no less than his brethren, the members of

that venerable body, would be with that of barber, since the late

separation between those long-united companies, by which, if the

surgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed to have lost very

little.

This able and careful person (for so I sincerely believe he is) after

examining the guilty tooth, declared that it was such a rotten shell,

and so placed at the very remotest end of the upper jaw, where it was in

a manner covered and secured by a large fine firm tooth, that he

despaired of his power of drawing it.

He said, indeed, more to my wife, and used more rhetoric to dissuade her

from having it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade young

ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of three months'

continuance, especially if those young ladies happen to be past forty

and fifty years of age, when, by submitting to support a racking

torment, the only good circumstance attending which is, it is so short

that scarce one in a thousand can cry out "I feel it," they are to do a

violence to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders with

which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady can ever lay hold of his

heart.

He said at last so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I came

over to his side, and assisted him in prevailing on my wife (for it was

no easy matter) to resolve on keeping her tooth a little longer, and to

apply palliatives only for relief. These were opium applied to the

tooth, and blisters behind the ears.

Whilst we were at dinner this day in the cabin, on a sudden the window

on one side was beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounder

had been discharged among us. We were all alarmed at the suddenness of

the accident, for which, however, we were soon able to account, for the

sash, which was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle of

the cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship called a cod-smack, the

master of which made us amends for running (carelessly at best) against

us, and injuring the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning

us all to hell, and uttering several pious wishes that it had done us

much more mischief. All which were answered in their own kind and phrase

by our men, between whom and the other crew a dialogue of oaths and

scurrility was carried on as long as they continued in each other's

hearing.

It is difficult, I think, to assign a satisfactory reason why sailors in

general should, of all others, think themselves entirely discharged from

the common bands of humanity, and should seem to glory in the language

and behaviour of savages! They see more of the world, and have, most of

them, a more erudite education than is the portion of landmen of their

degree. Nor do I believe that in any country they visit (Holland itself

not excepted) they can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on the

river Thames. Is it that they think true courage (for they are the

bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent with all the gentleness of a

humane carriage, and that the contempt of civil order springs up in

minds but little cultivated, at the same time and from the same

principles with the contempt of danger and death? Is it----? in short,

it is so; and how it comes to be so I leave to form a question in the

Robin Hood Society, or to be propounded for solution among the ænigmas

in the Woman's Almanac for the next year.

_Monday, July 1._--This day Mr Welch took his leave of me after dinner,

as did a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with my wife to

Lisbon. They both set out together in a post-chaise for London.

Soon after their departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sitting

together, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance greatly

corresponded with that of the sheriffs, or rather the knight-marshal's

bailiffs. One of these especially, who seemed to affect a more than

ordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in without any kind of

ceremony, with a broad gold lace on his hat, which was cocked with much

military fierceness on his head. An inkhorn at his button-hole and some

papers in his hand sufficiently assured me what he was, and I asked him

if he and his companion were not custom-house officers: he answered with

sufficient dignity that they were, as an information which he seemed to

conclude would strike the hearer with awe, and suppress all further

enquiry; but, on the contrary, I proceeded to ask of what rank he was in

the custom-house, and, receiving an answer from his companion, as I

remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor, I replied that he

might be a riding surveyor, but could be no gentleman, for that none who

had any title to that denomination would break into the presence of a

lady without an apology or even moving his hat. He then took his

covering from his head and laid it on the table, saying, he asked

pardon, and blamed the mate, who should, he said, have informed him if

any persons of distinction were below. I told him he might guess by our

appearance (which, perhaps, was rather more than could be said with the

strictest adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman and lady,

which should teach him to be very civil in his behaviour, though we

should not happen to be of that number whom the world calls people of

fashion and distinction. However, I said, that as he seemed sensible of

his error, and had asked pardon, the lady would permit him to put his

hat on again if he chose it. This he refused with some degree of

surliness, and failed not to convince me that, if I should condescend to

become more gentle, he would soon grow more rude.

I now renewed a reflexion, which I have often seen occasion to make,

that there is nothing so incongruous in nature as any kind of power with

lowness of mind and of ability, and that there is nothing more

deplorable than the want of truth in the whimsical notion of Plato, who

tells us that "Saturn, well knowing the state of human affairs, gave us

kings and rulers, not of human but divine original; for, as we make not

shepherds of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds of goats, but

place some of our own kind over all as being better and fitter to govern

them; in the same manner were demons by the divine love set over us as a

race of beings of a superior order to men, and who, with great ease to

themselves, might regulate our affairs and establish peace, modesty,

freedom, and justice, and, totally destroying all sedition, might

complete the happiness of the human race. So far, at least, may even now

be said with truth, that in all states which are under the government of

mere man, without any divine assistance, there is nothing but labour and

misery to be found. From what I have said, therefore, we may at least

learn, with our utmost endeavours, to imitate the Saturnian institution;

borrowing all assistance from our immortal part, while we pay to this

the strictest obedience, we should form both our private oeconomy and

public policy from its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortal

minds we are to establish a law and to call it by that name. But if any

government be in the hands of a single person, of the few, or of the

many, and such governor or governors shall abandon himself or themselves

to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or desires, unable to

restrain any passion, but possessed with an insatiable bad disease; if

such shall attempt to govern, and at the same time to trample on all

laws, there can be no means of preservation left for the wretched

people" Plato de Leg., lib. iv. p. 713, c. 714, edit. Serrani.

It is true that Plato is here treating of the highest or sovereign power

in a state, but it is as true that his observations are general and may

be applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed, every subordinate degree

is immediately derived from the highest; and, as it is equally protected

by the same force and sanctified by the same authority, is alike

dangerous to the well-being of the subject.

Of all powers, perhaps, there is none so sanctified and protected as

this which is under our present consideration. So numerous, indeed, and

strong, are the sanctions given to it by many acts of parliament, that,

having once established the laws of customs on merchandize, it seems to

have been the sole view of the legislature to strengthen the hands and

to protect the persons of the officers who became established by those

laws, many of whom are so far from bearing any resemblance to the

Saturnian institution, and to be chosen from a degree of beings superior

to the rest of human race, that they sometimes seem industriously picked

out of the lowest and vilest orders of mankind.

There is, indeed, nothing so useful to man in general, nor so beneficial

to particular societies and individuals, as trade. This is that _alma

mater_ at whose plentiful breast all mankind are nourished. It is true,

like other parents, she is not always equally indulgent to all her

children, but, though she gives to her favourites a vast proportion of

redundancy and superfluity, there are very few whom she refuses to

supply with the conveniences, and none with the necessaries, of life.

Such a benefactress as this must naturally be beloved by mankind in

general; it would be wonderful, therefore, if her interest was not

considered by them, and protected from the fraud and violence of some of

her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than their share or more

than she thinks proper to allow them, are daily employed in meditating

mischief against her, and in endeavouring to steal from their brethren

those shares which this great _alma mater_ had allowed them.

At length our governor came on board, and about six in the evening we

weighed anchor, and fell down to the Nore, whither our passage was

extremely pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon just

past the full, and both wind and tide favourable to us.

_Tuesday, July 2._--This morning we again set sail, under all the

advantages we had enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the shore

of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the pleasant island of

Thanet, which is an island, and that of Sheppy, which is not an island,

and about three o'clock, the wind being now full in our teeth, we came

to an anchor in the Downs, within two miles of Deal.--My wife, having

suffered intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her resolution

of having it drawn, and another surgeon was sent for from Deal, but with

no better success than the former. He likewise declined the operation,

for the same reason which had been assigned by the former: however, such

was her resolution, backed with pain, that he was obliged to make the

attempt, which concluded more in honour of his judgment than of his

operation; for, after having put my poor wife to inexpressible torment,

he was obliged to leave her tooth in _statu quo_; and she had now the

comfortable prospect of a long fit of pain, which might have lasted her

whole voyage, without any possibility of relief.

In these pleasing sensations, of which I had my just share, nature,

overcome with fatigue, about eight in the evening resigned her to

rest--a circumstance which would have given me some happiness, could I

have known how to employ those spirits which were raised by it; but,

unfortunately for me, I was left in a disposition of enjoying an

agreeable hour without the assistance of a companion, which has always

appeared to me necessary to such enjoyment; my daughter and her

companion were both retired sea-sick to bed; the other passengers were a

rude school-boy of fourteen years old and an illiterate Portuguese

friar, who understood no language but his own, in which I had not the

least smattering. The captain was the only person left in whose

conversation I might indulge myself; but unluckily, besides a total

ignorance of everything in the world but a ship, he had the misfortune

of being so deaf, that to make him hear, I will not say understand, my

words, I must run the risque of conveying them to the ears of my wife,

who, though in another room (called, I think, the state-room--being,

indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of containing one human body

in length, if not very tall, and three bodies in breadth), lay asleep

within a yard of me. In this situation necessity and choice were one and

the same thing; the captain and I sat down together to a small bowl of

punch, over which we both soon fell fast asleep, and so concluded the

evening.

_Wednesday, July 3._--This morning I awaked at four o'clock, for my

distemper seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently got up, and had

the pleasure of enjoying the sight of a tempestuous sea for four hours

before the captain was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself in

morning slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much more

agreeable to the performers than to the hearers, especially such as

have, as I had, the privilege of sitting in the orchestra. At eight

o'clock the captain rose, and sent his boat on shore. I ordered my man

likewise to go in it, as my distemper was not of that kind which

entirely deprives us of appetite. Now, though the captain had well

victualled his ship with all manner of salt provisions for the voyage,

and had added great quantities of fresh stores, particularly of

vegetables, at Gravesend, such as beans and peas, which had been on

board only two days, and had possibly not been gathered above two more,

I apprehended I could provide better for myself at Deal than the ship's

ordinary seemed to promise. I accordingly sent for fresh provisions of

all kinds from the shore, in order to put off the evil day of starving

as long as possible. My man returned with most of the articles I sent

for, and I now thought myself in a condition of living a week on my own

provisions. I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothing

but a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at; but those were not

to be had, nor indeed any addition to my roast mutton, except the

pleasure of the captain's company, with that of the other passengers;

for my wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing, and my other

females, whose sickness did not abate by the rolling of the ship at

anchor, seemed more inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them.

Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at dinner) by myself,

and the evening concluded with the captain as the preceding one had

done; one comfortable piece of news he communicated to me, which was,

that he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning; but as he did

not divulge the reasons of this confidence, and as I saw none myself

besides the wind being directly opposite, my faith in this prophecy was

not strong enough to build any great hopes upon.

_Thursday, July 4._--This morning, however, the captain seemed resolved

to fulfil his own predictions, whether the wind would or no; he

accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage of the tide when

the wind was not very boisterous, he hoisted his sails; and, as if his

power had been no less absolute over Æolus than it was over Neptune, he

forced the wind to blow him on in its own despight.

But as all men who have ever been at sea well know how weak such

attempts are, and want no authorities of Scripture to prove that the

most absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible in the

wind's eye, so did it befal our noble commander, who, having struggled

with the wind three or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost in

a few minutes all that he had been so long a-gaining; in short, we

returned to our former station, and once more cast anchor in the

neighbourhood of Deal.

Here, though we lay near the shore, that we might promise ourselves all

the emolument which could be derived from it, we found ourselves

deceived; and that we might with as much conveniency be out of the sight

of land; for, except when the captain launched forth his own boat, which

he did always with great reluctance, we were incapable of procuring

anything from Deal, but at a price too exorbitant, and beyond the reach

even of modern luxury--the fair of a boat from Deal, which lay at two

miles' distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if we had been

in any distress for it, as many half-guineas; for these good people

consider the sea as a large common appendant to their manor, in which

when they find any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they conclude

that they have a full right of making them pay at their own discretion

for their deliverance: to say the truth, whether it be that men who live

on the sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do not entirely partake

of human nature, or whatever else may be the reason, they are so far

from taking any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being moved

with any compassion for them, that they look upon them as blessings

showered down from above, and which the more they improve to their own

use, the greater is their gratitude and piety. Thus at Gravesend a

sculler requires a shilling for going less way than he would row in

London for threepence; and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in a

day than it can produce in London in a week, or perhaps in a month; in

both places the owner of the boat founds his demand on the necessity and

distress of one who stands more or less in absolute want of his

assistance, and with the urgency of these always rises in the

exorbitancy of his demand, without ever considering that, from these

very circumstances, the power or ease of gratifying such demand is in

like proportion lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some conclusions,

which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from these observations,

should be imputed to human nature in general, I have endeavoured to

account for them in a way more consistent with the goodness and dignity

of that nature. However it be, it seems a little to reflect on the

governors of such monsters that they do not take some means to restrain

these impositions, and prevent them from triumphing any longer in the

miseries of those who are, in many circumstances at least, their

fellow-creatures, and considering the distresses of a wretched seaman,

from his being wrecked to his being barely wind-bound, as a blessing

sent among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous name.

_Friday, July 5._--This day I sent a servant on board a man-of-war that

was stationed here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent to

him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the favour of his

long-boat to conduct us to Dover, at about seven miles' distance; and at

the same time presumed to make use of a great lady's name, the wife of

the first lord commissioner of the admiralty, who would, I told him, be

pleased with any kindness shewn by him towards us in our miserable

condition. And this I am convinced was true, from the humanity of the

lady, though she was entirely unknown to me.

The captain returned a verbal answer to a long letter acquainting me

that what I desired could not be complied with, it being a favour not in

his power to grant. This might be, and I suppose was, true; but it is as

true that, if he was able to write, and had pen, ink, and paper on

board, he might have sent a written answer, and that it was the part of

a gentleman so to have done; but this is a character seldom maintained

on the watery element, especially by those who exercise any power on it.

Every commander of a vessel here seems to think himself entirely free

from all those rules of decency and civility which direct and restrain

the conduct of the members of a society on shore; and each, claiming

absolute dominion in his little wooden world, rules by his own laws and

his own discretion. I do not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance of

the dangerous consequences of absolute power, and its aptness to

intoxicate the mind, as that of those petty tyrants, who become such in

a moment, from very well-disposed and social members of that communion

in which they affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state of

legal subjection with their fellow-citizens.

_Saturday, July 6._--This morning our commander, declaring he was sure

the wind would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide, and weighed

his anchor. His assurance, however, had the same completion, and his

endeavours the same success, with his formal trial; and he was soon

obliged to return once more to his old quarters. Just before we let go

our anchor, a small sloop, rather than submit to yield us an inch of

way, ran foul of our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate

frolic would have cost those aboard the sloop very dear, if our

steersman had not been too generous to exert his superiority, the

certain consequence of which would have been the immediate sinking of

the other. This contention of the inferior with a might capable of

crushing it in an instant may seem to argue no small share of folly or

madness, as well as of impudence; but I am convinced there is very

little danger in it: contempt is a port to which the pride of man

submits to fly with reluctance, but those who are within it are always

in a place of the most assured security; for whosoever throws away his

sword prefers, indeed, a less honourable but much safer means of

avoiding danger than he who defends himself with it. And here we shall

offer another distinction, of the truth of which much reading and

experience have well convinced us, that as in the most absolute

governments there is a regular progression of slavery downwards, from

the top to the bottom, the mischief of which is seldom felt with any

great force and bitterness but by the next immediate degree; so in the

most dissolute and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent of

what is called rank or condition, which is always laying hold of the

head of him who is advanced but one step higher on the ladder, who

might, if he did not too much despise such efforts, kick his pursuer

headlong to the bottom. We will conclude this digression with one

general and short observation, which will, perhaps, set the whole matter

in a clearer light than the longest and most laboured harangue. Whereas

envy of all things most exposes us to danger from others, so contempt of

all things best secures us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart and

the sloop are always meditating mischief against the coach and the ship,

and throwing themselves designedly in their way, the latter consider

only their own security, and are not ashamed to break the road and let

the other pass by them.

_Monday, July 8._--Having past our Sunday without anything remarkable,

unless the catching a great number of whitings in the afternoon may be

thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six o'clock, with a little

variation of wind; but this was so very little, and the breeze itself so

small, that the tide was our best and indeed almost our only friend.

This conducted us along the short remainder of the Kentish shore. Here

we past that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous a figure in

Shakspeare, and which whoever reads without being giddy, must, according

to Mr Addison's observation, have either a very good head or a very bad

one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas from the sight of, must

have at least a poetic if not a Shaksperian genius. In truth, mountains,

rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their existence to the poets;

and Greece and Italy do so plentifully abound in the former, because

they furnish so glorious a number of the latter; who, while they

bestowed immortality on every little hillock and blind stream, left the

noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share the same obscurity

with the eastern and western poets, in which they are celebrated.

This evening we beat the sea of Sussex in sight of Dungeness, with much

more pleasure than progress; for the weather was almost a perfect calm,

and the moon, which was almost at the full, scarce suffered a single

cloud to veil her from our sight.

_Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10._--These two days we had much the same

fine weather, and made much the same way; but in the evening of the

latter day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which brought us by

the morning in sight of the Isle of Wight.

_Thursday, July 11._--This gale continued till towards noon; when the

east end of the island bore but little ahead of us. The captain

swaggered and declared he would keep the sea; but the wind got the

better of him, so that about three he gave up the victory, and making a

sudden tack stood in for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth,

and came to an anchor at a place called Ryde on the island.

A most tragical incident fell out this day at sea. While the ship was

under sail, but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one of

four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell from the window into

the water: an alarm was immediately given to the captain, who was then

upon deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many bitter

oaths. He immediately gave orders to the steersman in favour of the poor

thing, as he called it; the sails were instantly slackened, and all

hands, as the phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal. I was, I

own, extremely surprised at all this; less indeed at the captain's

extreme tenderness than at his conceiving any possibility of success;

for if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives, I concluded

they had been all lost. The boatswain, however, had more sanguine hopes,

for, having stripped himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he

leaped boldly into the water, and to my great astonishment in a few

minutes returned to the ship, bearing the motionless animal in his

mouth. Nor was this, I observed, a matter of such great difficulty as it

appeared to my ignorance, and possibly may seem to that of my

fresh-water reader. The kitten was now exposed to air and sun on the

deck, where its life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired of

by all.

The captain's humanity, if I may so call it, did not so totally destroy

his philosophy as to make him yield himself up to affliction on this

melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like a man, he resolved to

shew he could bear it like one; and, having declared he had rather have

lost a cask of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammon

with the Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement they had passed

about two-thirds of their time.

But as I have, perhaps, a little too wantonly endeavoured to raise the

tender passions of my readers in this narrative, I should think myself

unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them the satisfaction of

hearing that the kitten at last recovered, to the great joy of the good

captain, but to the great disappointment of some of the sailors, who

asserted that the drowning a cat was the very surest way of raising a

favourable wind; a supposition of which, though we have heard several

plausible accounts, we will not presume to assign the true original

reason.

_Friday, July 12._--This day our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and drank

their afternoon tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction: here

they were regaled with fresh cream, to which they had been strangers

since they left the Downs.

_Saturday, July 13._--The wind seeming likely to continue in the same

corner where it had been almost constantly for two months together, I

was persuaded by my wife to go ashore and stay at Ryde till we sailed. I

approved the motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea, I

now fancied there was more pleasure in breathing the fresh air of the

land; but how to get thither was the question; for, being really that

dead luggage which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning of

this narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion without external

impulse, it was in vain to leave the ship, or to determine to do it,

without the assistance of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living

luggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than an equal or much

superior weight of dead matter; which, if of the brittle kind, may

indeed be liable to be broken through negligence; but this, by proper

care, may be almost certainly prevented; whereas the fractures to which

the living lumps are exposed are sometimes by no caution avoidable, and

often by no art to be amended.

I was deliberating on the means of conveyance, not so much out of the

ship to the boat as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matter

which, as I had already experienced in the Thames, was not extremely

easy, when to be performed by any other limbs than your own. Whilst I

weighed all that could suggest itself on this head, without strictly

examining the merit of the several schemes which were advanced by the

captain and sailors, and, indeed, giving no very deep attention even to

my wife, who, as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting their

tender concern for my ease and safety, Fortune, for I am convinced she

had a hand in it, sent me a present of a buck; a present welcome enough

of itself, but more welcome on account of the vessel in which it came,

being a large hoy, which in some places would pass for a ship, and many

people would go some miles to see the sight. I was pretty easily

conveyed on board this hoy; but to get from hence to the shore was not

so easy a task; for, however strange it may appear, the water itself did

not extend so far; an instance which seems to explain those lines of

Ovid,

Omnia pontus erant, deerant quoque littora ponto,

in a less tautological sense than hath generally been imputed to them.

In fact, between the sea and the shore there was, at low water, an

impassable gulph, if I may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither

be traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near one half of the

twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible by friend or foe. But as the

magistrates of this place seemed more to desire the company of the

former than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to make a small

causeway to the low-water mark, so that foot passengers might land

whenever they pleased; but as this work was of a public kind, and would

have cost a large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and the

magistrates, that is to say, the churchwardens, the overseers,

constable, and tithing-man, and the principal inhabitants, had every one

of them some separate scheme of private interest to advance at the

expence of the public, they fell out among themselves; and, after having

thrown away one half of the requisite sum, resolved at least to save the

other half, and rather be contented to sit down losers themselves than

to enjoy any benefit which might bring in a greater profit to another.

Thus that unanimity which is so necessary in all public affairs became

wanting, and every man, from the fear of being a bubble to another, was,

in reality, a bubble to himself.

However, as there is scarce any difficulty to which the strength of men,

assisted with the cunning of art, is not equal, I was at last hoisted

into a small boat, and, being rowed pretty near the shore, was taken up

by two sailors, who waded with me through the mud, and placed me in a

chair on the land, whence they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of a

mile farther, and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairest

for hospitality of any in Ryde.

We brought with us our provisions from the ship, so that we wanted

nothing but a fire to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eat

it. In neither of these had we any reason to apprehend a disappointment,

our dinner consisting only of beans and bacon; and the worst apartment

in his majesty's dominions, either at home or abroad, being fully

sufficient to answer our present ideas of delicacy.

Unluckily, however, we were disappointed in both; for when we arrived

about four at our inn, exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing our

beans smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing them on

the table indeed, but without that circumstance which would have made

the sight agreeable, being in the same state in which we had dispatched

them from our ship.

In excuse for this delay, though we had exceeded, almost purposely, the

time appointed, and our provision had arrived three hours before, the

mistress of the house acquainted us that it was not for want of time to

dress them that they were not ready, but for fear of their being cold or

overdone before we should come; which she assured us was much worse than

waiting a few minutes for our dinner; an observation so very just, that

it is impossible to find any objection in it; but, indeed, it was not

altogether so proper at this time, for we had given the most absolute

orders to have them ready at four, and had been ourselves, not without

much care and difficulty, most exactly punctual in keeping to the very

minute of our appointment. But tradesmen, inn-keepers, and servants,

never care to indulge us in matters contrary to our true interest, which

they always know better than ourselves; nor can any bribes corrupt them

to go out of their way whilst they are consulting our good in our own

despight.

Our disappointment in the other particular, in defiance of our humility,

as it was more extraordinary, was more provoking. In short, Mrs Francis

(for that was the name of the good woman of the house) no sooner

received the news of our intended arrival than she considered more the

gentility than the humanity of her guests, and applied herself not to

that which kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting

to put on her pot, fell to washing her house.

As the messenger who had brought my venison was impatient to be

despatched, I ordered it to be brought and laid on the table in the room

where I was seated; and the table not being large enough, one side, and

that a very bloody one, was laid on the brick floor. I then ordered Mrs

Francis to be called in, in order to give her instructions concerning

it; in particular, what I would have roasted and what baked; concluding

that she would be highly pleased with the prospect of so much money

being spent in her house as she might have now reason to expect, if the

wind continued only a few days longer to blow from the same points

whence it had blown for several weeks past.

I soon saw good cause, I must confess, to despise my own sagacity. Mrs

Francis, having received her orders, without making any answer, snatched

the side from the floor, which remained stained with blood, and, bidding

a servant to take up that on the table, left the room with no pleasant

countenance, muttering to herself that, "had she known the litter which

was to have been made, she would not have taken such pains to wash her

house that morning. If this was gentility, much good may it do such

gentlefolks; for her part she had no notion of it."

From these murmurs I received two hints. The one, that it was not from a

mistake of our inclination that the good woman had starved us, but from

wisely consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity, to

which our hunger was offered up as a sacrifice. The other, that I was

now sitting in a damp room, a circumstance, though it had hitherto

escaped my notice from the colour of the bricks, which was by no means

to be neglected in a valetudinary state.

My wife, who, besides discharging excellently well her own and all the

tender offices becoming the female character; who, besides being a

faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender nurse, could

likewise supply the wants of a decrepit husband, and occasionally

perform his part, had, before this, discovered the immoderate attention

to neatness in Mrs Francis, and provided against its ill consequences.

She had found, though not under the same roof, a very snug apartment

belonging to Mr Francis, and which had escaped the mop by his wife's

being satisfied it could not possibly be visited by gentlefolks.

This was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on both sides with

wheaten straw, and opening at one end into a green field and a beautiful

prospect. Here, without hesitation, she ordered the cloth to be laid,

and came hastily to snatch me from worse perils by water than the common

dangers of the sea.

Mrs Francis, who could not trust her own ears, or could not believe a

footman in so extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and asked

her if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid in the barn? She

answered in the affirmative; upon which Mrs Francis declared she would

not dispute her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed that

quality had ever preferred a barn to a house. She shewed at the same

time the most pregnant marks of contempt, and again lamented the labour

she had undergone, through her ignorance of the absurd taste of her

guests.

At length, we were seated in one of the most pleasant spots I believe in

the kingdom, and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which there

was nothing deficient but the quantity. This defect was however so

deplorable that we had consumed our whole dish before we had visibly

lessened our hunger. We now waited with impatience the arrival of our

second course, which necessity, and not luxury, had dictated. This was a

joint of mutton which Mrs Francis had been ordered to provide; but when,

being tired with expectation, we ordered our servants _to see for

something else_, we were informed that there was nothing else; on which

Mrs Francis, being summoned, declared there was no such thing as mutton

to be had at Ryde. When I expressed some astonishment at their having no

butcher in a village so situated, she answered they had a very good one,

and one that killed all sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times

a year, and mutton the whole year round; but that, it being then beans

and peas time, he killed no meat, by reason he was not sure of selling

it. This she had not thought worthy of communication, any more than that

there lived a fisherman at next door, who was then provided with plenty

of soles, and whitings, and lobsters, far superior to those which adorn

a city feast. This discovery being made by accident, we completed the

best, the pleasantest, and the merriest meal, with more appetite, more

real solid luxury, and more festivity, than was ever seen in an

entertainment at White's.

It may be wondered at, perhaps, that Mrs Francis should be so negligent

of providing for her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive to

her own interest; but this was not the case; for, having clapped a

poll-tax on our heads at our arrival, and determined at what price to

discharge our bodies from her house, the less she suffered any other to

share in the levy the clearer it came into her own pocket; and that it

was better to get twelve pence in a shilling than ten pence, which

latter would be the case if she afforded us fish at any rate.

Thus we past a most agreeable day owing to good appetites and good

humour; two hearty feeders which will devour with satisfaction whatever

food you place before them; whereas, without these, the elegance of St

James's, the charde, the perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the

turtle, or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will never convey

happiness to the heart or chearfulness to the countenance.

As the wind appeared still immovable, my wife proposed my lying on

shore. I presently agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament,

by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses are decreed

to be rogues and vagabonds; and this too after having been very

singularly officious in putting that law in execution.

My wife, having reconnoitred the house, reported that there was one room

in which were two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that she and

Harriot should occupy one and myself take possession of the other. She

added likewise an ingenious recommendation of this room to one who had

so long been in a cabin, which it exactly resembled, as it was sunk down

with age on one side, and was in the form of a ship with gunwales too.

For my own part, I make little doubt but this apartment was an ancient

temple, built with the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated to

Neptune in honour of THE BLESSING sent by him to the inhabitants; such

blessings having in all ages been very common to them. The timber

employed in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom used by

any but ship-builders. I do not find indeed any mention of this matter

in Hearn; but perhaps its antiquity was too modern to deserve his

notice. Certain it is that this island of Wight was not an early

convert to Christianity; nay, there is some reason to doubt whether it

was ever entirely converted. But I have only time to touch slightly on

things of this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society whose

peculiar profession it is to discuss and develop.

_Sunday, July 19._--This morning early I summoned Mrs Francis, in order

to pay her the preceding day's account. As I could recollect only two or

three articles I thought there was no necessity of pen and ink. In a

single instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis to a

foot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar, salt, &c., and dressing his

meat. I found, however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when the

good woman attended with her bill it contained as follows:--

£ _s._ _d._

Bread and beer 0 2 4

Wind 0 2 0

Rum 0 2 0

Dressing dinner 0 3 0

Tea 0 1 6

Firing 0 1 0

Lodging 0 1 6

Servants' lodging 0 0 6

__________

£0 13 10

Now that five people and two servants should live a day and night at a

public-house for so small a sum will appear incredible to any person in

London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but more astonishing will

it seem that these people should remain so long at such a house without

tasting any other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupfull of milk

called cream, a glass of rum converted into punch by their own

materials, and one bottle of _wind_, of which we only tasted a single

glass, though possibly, indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the

bottle.

This _wind_ is a liquor of English manufacture, and its flavour is

thought very delicious by the generality of the English, who drink it in

great quantities. Every seventh year is thought to produce as much as

the other six. It is then drank so plentifully that the whole nation are

in a manner intoxicated by it; and consequently very little business is

carried on at that season.

It resembles in colour the red wine which is imported from Portugal, as

it doth in its intoxicating quality; hence, and from this agreement in

the orthography, the one is often confounded with the other, though both

are seldom esteemed by the same person. It is to be had in every parish

of the kingdom, and a pretty large quantity is consumed in the

metropolis, where several taverns are set apart solely for the vendition

of this liquor, the masters never dealing in any other.

The disagreement in our computation produced some small remonstrance to

Mrs Francis on my side; but this received an immediate answer: "She

scorned to overcharge gentlemen; her house had been always frequented by

the very best gentry of the island; and she had never had a bill found

fault with in her life, though she had lived upwards of forty years in

the house, and within that time the greatest gentry in Hampshire had

been at it; and that lawyer Willis never went to any other when he came

to those parts. That for her part she did not get her livelihood by

travellers, who were gone and away, and she never expected to see them

more, but that her neighbours might come again; wherefore, to be sure,

they had the only right to complain."

She was proceeding thus, and from her volubility of tongue seemed likely

to stretch the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly cut

all short by paying the bill.

This morning our ladies went to church, more, I fear, from curiosity

than religion; they were attended by the captain in a most military

attire, with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side. So

unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew the attention of all

present, and probably disconcerted the women, who were in dishabille,

and wished themselves drest, for the sake of the curate, who was the

greatest of their beholders.

While I was left alone I received a visit from Mr Francis himself, who

was much more considerable as a farmer than as an inn-holder. Indeed, he

left the latter entirely to the care of his wife, and he acted wisely, I

believe, in so doing.

As nothing more remarkable past on this day I will close it with the

account of these two characters, as far as a few days' residence could

inform me of them. If they should appear as new to the reader as they

did to me, he will not be displeased at finding them here.

This amiable couple seemed to border hard on their grand climacteric;

nor indeed were they shy of owning enough to fix their ages within a

year or two of that time. They appeared to be rather proud of having

employed their time well than ashamed of having lived so long; the only

reason which I could ever assign why some fine ladies, and fine

gentlemen too, should desire to be thought younger than they really are

by the contemporaries of their grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too

hastily credit appearances, might doubt whether they had made so good a

use of their time as I would insinuate, since there was no appearance of

anything but poverty, want, and wretchedness, about their house; nor

could they produce anything to a customer in exchange for his money but

a few bottles of _wind_, and spirituous liquors, and some very bad ale,

to drink; with rusty bacon and worse cheese to eat. But then it should

be considered, on the other side, that whatever they received was almost

as entirely clear profit as the blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn

being the very reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither sit

for nothing nor have anything for your money.

Again, as many marks of want abounded everywhere, so were the marks of

antiquity visible. Scarce anything was to be seen which had not some

scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil, it was manifest,

had been purchased within a dozen years last past; so that whatever

money had come into the house during that period at least must have

remained in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or other

perishable commodities; but these were supplied by a small portion of

the fruits of the farm, in which the farmer allowed he had a very good

bargain. In fact, it is inconceivable what sums may be collected by

starving only, and how easy it is for a man to die rich if he will but

be contented to live miserable.

Nor is there in this kind of starving anything so terrible as some

apprehend. It neither wastes a man's flesh nor robs him of his

chearfulness. The famous Cornaro's case well proves the contrary; and so

did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature, had a plump round face,

with a kind of smile on it, and seemed to borrow an air of wretchedness

rather from his coat's age than from his own.

The truth is, there is a certain diet which emaciates men more than any

possible degree of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen any

caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot, or in any other modern

writer or regimen. Nay, the very name is not, I believe, in the learned

Dr James's Dictionary; all which is the more extraordinary as it is a

very common food in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not

long since very liberally entertained with it by the present attorney

and other eminent lawyers in Lincoln's-inn-hall, and were all made

horribly sick by it.

But though it should not be found among our English physical writers, we

may be assured of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothing

considerable in nature escapes their notice, though many things

considerable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped the notice of

their readers. The Greeks, then, to all such as feed too voraciously on

this diet, give the name of HEAUTOFAGI, which our physicians will, I

suppose, translate _men that eat themselves_.

As nothing is so destructive to the body as this kind of food, so

nothing is so plentiful and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheap

thing the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish might produce

this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus attributes the same aversion in a

people of Æthiopia to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters, and

asserts that they cannot be brought to eat a single meal with the

Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat, or violence whatever, not even

though they should kill their children before their faces.

What hath puzzled our physicians, and prevented them from setting this

matter in the clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arising

from a very excusable ignorance; that the passions of men are capable of

swallowing food as well as their appetites; that the former, in feeding,

resemble the state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore,

such men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves, and as it

were to devour their own entrails. And hence ensues a meagre aspect and

thin habit of body, as surely as from what is called a consumption.

Our farmer was one of these. He had no more passion than an

Ichthuofagus or Æthiopian fisher. He wished not for anything, thought

not of anything; indeed, he scarce did anything or said anything. Here I

cannot be understood strictly; for then I must describe a nonentity,

whereas I would rob him of nothing but that free agency which is the

cause of all the corruption and of all the misery of human nature. No

man, indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for he was an absolute slave

to labour all the week; but in truth, as my sagacious reader must have

at first apprehended, when I said he resigned the care of the house to

his wife, I meant more than I then expressed, even the house and all

that belonged to it; for he was really a farmer only under the direction

of his wife. In a word, so composed, so serene, so placid a countenance,

I never saw; and he satisfied himself by answering to every question he

was asked, "I don't know anything about it, sir; I leaves all that to my

wife."

Now, as a couple of this kind would, like two vessels of oil, have made

no composition in life, and for want of all savour must have palled

every taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took care to provide a

proper quantity of acid in the materials that formed the wife, and to

render her a perfect helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded in

whatsoever he was defective; that is to say, in almost everything. She

was indeed as vinegar to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and

preserved all from stagnation and corruption.

Quin the player, on taking a nice and severe survey of a

fellow-comedian, burst forth into this exclamation:--"If that fellow be

not a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible hand." Whether he

guessed right or no is not worth my while to examine; certain it is that

the latter, having wrought his features into a proper harmony to become

the characters of Iago, Shylock, and others of the same cast, gave us a

semblance of truth to the observation that was sufficient to confirm the

wit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favour of the physiognomist, though

the law has made him a rogue and vagabond, that Nature is seldom curious

in her works within, without employing some little pains on the outside;

and this more particularly in mischievous characters, in forming which,

as Mr Derham observes, in venomous insects, as the sting or saw of a

wasp, she is sometimes wonderfully industrious. Now, when she hath thus

completely armed our hero to carry on a war with man, she never fails of

furnishing that innocent lambkin with some means of knowing his enemy,

and foreseeing his designs. Thus she hath been observed to act in the

case of a rattlesnake, which never meditates a human prey without giving

warning of his approach.

This observation will, I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to the

most venomous individuals of human insects. A tyrant, a trickster, and a

bully, generally wear the marks of their several dispositions in their

countenances; so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all other

females of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature hath never afforded a

stronger example of all this than in the case of Mrs Francis. She was a

short, squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders, where

it was fixed somewhat awry; every feature of her countenance was sharp

and pointed; her face was furrowed with the small-pox; and her

complexion, which seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little

resembled in colour such milk as had already undergone that operation.

She appeared, indeed, to have many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her

look; but the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced them all;

the tone of this was a sharp treble at a distance, for I seldom heard

it on the same floor, but was usually waked with it in the morning, and

entertained with it almost continually through the whole day.

Though vocal be usually put in opposition to instrumental music, I

question whether this might not be thought to partake of the nature of

both; for she played on two instruments, which she seemed to keep for no

other use from morning till night; these were two maids, or rather

scolding-stocks, who, I suppose, by some means or other, earned their

board, and she gave them their lodging _gratis_, or for no other service

than to keep her lungs in constant exercise.

She differed, as I have said, in every particular from her husband; but

very remarkably in this, that, as it was impossible to displease him, so

it was as impossible to please her; and as no art could remove a smile

from his countenance, so could no art carry it into hers. If her bills

were remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit censure of her

fair-dealing; if they were not, she seemed to regard it as a tacit

sarcasm on her folly, which might have set down larger prices with the

same success. On this latter hint she did indeed improve, for she daily

raised some of her articles. A pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at a

shilling, to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us two dishes

for two shillings on the Saturday, we paid half-a-crown for the cookery

of one on the Sunday; and, whenever she was paid, she never left the

room without lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying, "she knew

not how it was that others got their money by gentlefolks, but for her

part she had not the art of it." When she was asked why she complained,

when she was paid all she demanded, she answered, "she could not deny

that, nor did she know she had omitted anything; but that it was but a

poor bill for gentlefolks to pay."

I accounted for all this by her having heard, that it is a maxim with

the principal inn-holders on the continent, to levy considerable sums on

their guests, who travel with many horses and servants, though such

guests should eat little or nothing in their houses; the method being, I

believe, in such cases, to lay a capitation on the horses, and not on

their masters. But she did not consider that in most of these inns a

very great degree of hunger, without any degree of delicacy, may be

satisfied; and that in all such inns there is some appearance, at least,

of provision, as well as of a man-cook to dress it, one of the hostlers

being always furnished with a cook's cap, waistcoat, and apron, ready to

attend gentlemen and ladies on their summons; that the case therefore of

such inns differed from hers, where there was nothing to eat or to

drink, and in reality no house to inhabit, no chair to sit upon, nor any

bed to lie in; that one third or fourth part therefore of the levy

imposed at inns was, in truth, a higher tax than the whole was when laid

on in the other, where, in order to raise a small sum, a man is obliged

to submit to pay as many various ways for the same thing as he doth to

the government for the light which enters through his own window into

his own house, from his own estate; such are the articles of bread and

beer, firing, eating and dressing dinner.

The foregoing is a very imperfect sketch of this extraordinary couple;

for everything is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those who

would see them set forth in more lively colours, and with the proper

ornaments, may read the descriptions of the Furies in some of the

classical poets, or of the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian.

_Monday, July 20._--This day nothing remarkable passed; Mrs Francis

levied a tax of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled ourselves

at dinner with venison and good claret of our own; and, in the

afternoon, the women, attended by the captain, walked to see a

delightful scene two miles distant, with the beauties of which they

declared themselves most highly charmed at their return, as well as with

the goodness of the lady of the mansion, who had slipt out of the way,

that my wife and their company might refresh themselves with the flowers

and fruits with which her garden abounded.

_Tuesday, July 21._--This day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, we

were permitted to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of this we

would willingly have exchanged for mutton; but no such flesh was to be

had nearer than Portsmouth, from whence it would have cost more to

convey a joint to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon to

London amounts to; for though the water-carriage be somewhat cheaper

here than at Deal, yet can you find no waterman who will go on board his

boat, unless by two or three hours' rowing he can get drunk for the

residue of the week.

And here I have an opportunity, which possibly may not offer again, of

publishing some observations on that political oeconomy of this

nation, which, as it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is below

the notice of our great men; though on the due regulation of this order

depend many emoluments, which the great men themselves, or at least many

who tread close on their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers which

may some time or other arise from introducing a pure state of anarchy

among them. I will represent the case, as it appears to me, very fairly

and impartially between the mob and their betters.

The whole mischief which infects this part of our oeconomy arises

from the vague and uncertain use of a word called liberty, of which, as

scarce any two men with whom I have ever conversed seem to have one and

the same idea, I am inclined to doubt whether there be any simple

universal notion represented by this word, or whether it conveys any

clearer or more determinate idea than some of those old Punic

compositions of syllables preserved in one of the comedies of Plautus,

but at present, as I conceive, not supposed to be understood by any one.

By liberty, however, I apprehend, is commonly understood the power of

doing what we please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistent

with law, by whose control the liberty of the freest people, except only

the Hottentots and wild Indians, must always be restrained.

But, indeed, however largely we extend, or however moderately we

confine, the sense of the word, no politician will, I presume, contend

that it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the same extent,

enjoyed by, every member of society; no such polity having been ever

found, unless among those vile people just before commemorated. Among

the Greeks and Romans the servile and free conditions were opposed to

each other; and no man who had the misfortune to be enrolled under the

former could lay any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to him

by that master whose slave he was, either by the means of conquest, of

purchase, or of birth.

This was the state of all the free nations in the world; and this, till

very lately, was understood to be the case of our own.

I will not indeed say this is the case at present, the lowest class of

our people having shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, and

become not only as free, but even freer, than most of their superiors.

I believe it cannot be doubted, though perhaps we have no recent

instance of it, that the personal attendance of every man who hath three

hundred pounds per annum, in parliament, is indispensably his duty; and

that, if the citizens and burgesses of any city or borough shall chuse

such a one, however reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend,

and be forcibly brought to his duty by the serjeant-at-arms.

Again, there are numbers of subordinate offices, some of which are of

burthen, and others of expence, in the civil government--all of which

persons who are qualified are liable to have imposed on them, may be

obliged to undertake and properly execute, notwithstanding any bodily

labour, or even danger, to which they may subject themselves, under the

penalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what may appear somewhat

hard, may be compelled to satisfy the losses which are eventually

incident, to that of sheriff in particular, out of their own private

fortunes; and though this should prove the ruin of a family, yet the

public, to whom the price is due, incurs no debt or obligation to

preserve its officer harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly.

I purposely omit the mention of those military or militiary duties which

our old constitution laid upon its greatest members. These might,

indeed, supply their posts with some other able-bodied men; but if no

such could have been found, the obligation nevertheless remained, and

they were compellable to serve in their own proper persons.

The only one, therefore, who is possessed of absolute liberty is the

lowest member of the society, who, if he prefers hunger, or the wild

product of the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence of

ease and laziness, to a food a little more delicate, but purchased at

the expence of labour, may lay himself under a shade; nor can be forced

to take the other alternative from that which he hath, I will not affirm

whether wisely or foolishly, chosen.

Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of the last Vagrant Act, where all such

persons are compellable to work for the usual and accustomed wages

allowed in the place; but this is a clause little known to the justices

of the peace, and least likely to be executed by those who do know it,

as they know likewise that it is formed on the antient power of the

justices to fix and settle these wages every year, making proper

allowances for the scarcity and plenty of the times, the cheapness and

dearness of the place; and that _the usual and accustomed wages_ are

words without any force or meaning, when there are no such; but every

man spunges and raps whatever he can get; and will haggle as long and

struggle as hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day's labour as

an honest tradesman will to cheat his customers of the same sum in a

yard of cloth or silk.

It is a great pity then that this power, or rather this practice, was

not revived; but, this having been so long omitted that it is become

obsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which this power, as well

as the consequent power of forcing the poor to labour at a moderate and

reasonable rate, should be well considered and their execution

facilitated; for gentlemen who give their time and labour _gratis_, and

even voluntarily, to the public, have a right to expect that all their

business be made as easy as possible; and to enact laws without doing

this is to fill our statute-books, much too full already, still fuller

with dead letter, of no use but to the printer of the acts of

parliament.

That the evil which I have here pointed at is of itself worth

redressing, is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why should any

persons in distress be deprived of the assistance of their

fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply to reward them for their

labour? or, why should the lowest of the people be permitted to exact

ten times the value of their work? For those exactions encrease with the

degrees of necessity in their object, insomuch that on the former side

many are horribly imposed upon, and that often in no trifling matters. I

was very well assured that at Deal no less than ten guineas was

required, and paid by the supercargo of an Indiaman, for carrying him on

board two miles from the shore when she was just ready to sail; so that

his necessity, as his pillager well understood, was absolute. Again,

many others, whose indignation will not submit to such plunder, are

forced to refuse the assistance, though they are often great sufferers

by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of the people are encouraged

in laziness and idleness; while they live by a twentieth part of the

labour that ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite to

the interest of the public; for that requires a great deal to be done,

not to be paid, for a little. And moreover, they are confirmed in habits

of exaction, and are taught to consider the distresses of their

superiors as their own fair emolument.

But enough of this matter, of which I at first intended only to convey a

hint to those who are alone capable of applying the remedy, though they

are the last to whom the notice of those evils would occur, without some

such monitor as myself, who am forced to travel about the world in the

form of a passenger. I cannot but say I heartily wish our governors

would attentively consider this method of fixing the price of labour,

and by that means of compelling the poor to work, since the due

execution of such powers will, I apprehend, be found the true and only

means of making them useful, and of advancing trade from its present

visibly declining state to the height to which Sir William Petty, in his

Political Arithmetic, thinks it capable of being carried.

In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned mansion called at our

inn, and left her compliments to us with Mrs Francis, with an assurance

that while we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared we

could be but indifferently accommodated, we were extremely welcome to

the use of anything which her garden or her house afforded. So polite a

message convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary, that

we were not on the coast of Africa, or on some island where the few

savage inhabitants have little of human in them besides their form.

And here I mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit of this

lady, who is not only extremely polite in her behaviour to strangers of

her own rank, but so extremely good and charitable to all her poor

neighbours who stand in need of her assistance, that she hath the

universal love and praises of all who live near her. But, in reality,

how little doth the acquisition of so valuable a character, and the full

indulgence of so worthy a disposition, cost those who possess it! Both

are accomplished by the very offals which fall from a table moderately

plentiful. That they are enjoyed therefore by so few arises truly from

there being so few who have any such disposition to gratify, or who aim

at any such character.

_Wednesday, July 22._--This morning, after having been mulcted as usual,

we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady's

goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions of her

garden. He soon returned, in company with the gardener, both richly

laden with almost every particular which a garden at this most fruitful

season of the year produces.

While we were regaling ourselves with these, towards the close of our

dinner, we received orders from our commander, who had dined that day

with some inferior officers on board a man-of-war, to return instantly

to the ship; for that the wind was become favourable, and he should

weigh that evening. These orders were soon followed by the captain

himself, who was still in the utmost hurry, though the occasion of it

had long since ceased; for the wind had, indeed, a little shifted that

afternoon, but was before this very quietly set down in its old

quarters.

This last was a lucky hit for me; for, as the captain, to whose orders

we resolved to pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did not

return till past six, so much time seemed requisite to put up the

furniture of our bed-chamber or dining-room, for almost every article,

even to some of the chairs, were either our own or the captain's

property; so much more in conveying it as well as myself, as dead a

luggage as any, to the shore, and thence to the ship, that the night

threatened first to overtake us. A terrible circumstance to me, in my

decayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain, attended

with a high wind, continued to fall incessantly; the being carried

through which two miles in the dark, in a wet and open boat, seemed

little less than certain death.

However, as my commander was absolute, his orders peremptory, and my

obedience necessary, I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy which

hath been of notable use to me in the latter part of my life, and which

is contained in this hemistich of Virgil:--

----Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est.

The meaning of which, if Virgil had any, I think I rightly understood,

and rightly applied.

As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my motion, I resolved to

abandon myself to the conduct of those who were to carry me into a cart

when it returned from unloading the goods.

But before this, the captain, perceiving what had happened in the

clouds, and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever, came

upstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was, I own, very

agreeable news, and I little regretted the trouble of refurnishing my

apartment, by sending back for the goods.

Mrs Francis was not well pleased with this. As she understood the

reprieve to be only till the morning, she saw nothing but lodging to be

possibly added, out of which she was to deduct fire and candle, and the

remainder, she thought, would scarce pay her for her trouble. She

exerted therefore all the ill-humour of which she was mistress, and did

all she could to thwart and perplex everything during the whole evening.

_Thursday, July 23._--Early in the morning the captain, who had remained

on shore all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make haste on

board. "I am resolved," says he, "not to lose a moment now the wind is

coming about fair: for my own part, I never was surer of a wind in all

my life." I use his very words; nor will I presume to interpret or

comment upon them farther than by observing that they were spoke in the

utmost hurry.

We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over, but this was not

so soon as was expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before,

the tea-chest was unhappily lost.

Every place was immediately searched, and many where it was impossible

for it to be; for this was a loss of much greater consequence than it

may at first seem to many of my readers. Ladies and valetudinarians do

not easily dispense with the use of this sovereign cordial in a single

instance; but to undertake a long voyage, without any probability of

being supplied with it the whole way, was above the reach of patience.

And yet, dreadful as this calamity was, it seemed unavoidable. The whole

town of Ryde could not supply a single leaf; for, as to what Mrs Francis

and the shop called by that name, it was not of Chinese growth. It did

not indeed in the least resemble tea, either in smell or taste, or in

any particular, unless in being a leaf; for it was in truth no other

than a tobacco of the mundungus species. And as for the hopes of relief

in any other port, they were not to be depended upon, for the captain

had positively declared he was sure of a wind, and would let go his

anchor no more till he arrived in the Tajo.