=Long absent, soon forgotten.=
=Out of sight, out of mind.=
"Friends living far away are no friends" (Greek). "He that is absent
will not be the heir" (Latin).[167] "Absence is love's foe: far from
the eyes, far from the heart" (Spanish).[168] "The dead and the absent
have no friends" (Spanish).[169] "The absent are always in the wrong"
(French).[170] "Absent, none without fault; present, none without
excuse" (French).[171]
Against this string of proverbs, all running in one direction, we may
set off the Scotch saying,--
=They are aye gude that are far awa'=;
and this French one: "A little absence does much good."[172] Without
affirming too absolutely that--
=Friends agree best at a distance--=
which was a proverb before Rochefoucauld wrote it down among his
maxims--we may admit that "To preserve friendship a wall must be put
between" (French);[173] and that "A hedge between keeps friendship
green" (German).[174] "Love your neighbour, but do not pull down the
hedge" (German).[175] "There are certain limits of sociality, and
prudent reserve and absence may find a place in the management of
the tenderest relations."--(_Friends in Council._) This lesson the
Spaniards embody in two proverbs, bidding you "Go to your aunt's (or
your brother's) house, but not every day."[176] Friends meet with more
pleasure after a short separation. "The imagination," says Montaigne,
"embraces more fervently and constantly what it goes in search of than
what one has at hand. Count up your daily thoughts, and you will find
that you are most absent from your friend when you have him with you.
His presence relaxes your attention, and gives your thoughts liberty to
absent themselves at every turn and upon every occasion."
=Better be unmannerly than troublesome.=
=I wad rather my friend should think me framet than fashious.=--_Scotch._
That is, I would rather my friend should think me strange (_fremd_,
German) than troublesome (_fâcheux_, French).
=Too much familiarity breeds contempt.=
=Ower-meikle hameliness spoils gude courtesy.=
Hameliness means familiarity. See "Hame is a hamely word," page 36.
=Leave welcome ahint you.=--_Scotch._
Do not outstay your welcome. "A guest and a fish stink on the third
day" (Spanish).[177]
=Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest.=
"Aweel, kinsman," says Rob Boy to the baillie, "ye ken our
fashion--foster the guest that comes, further him that maun gang." "Let
the guest go before the storm bursts" (German).[178]
=If the badger leaves his hole the tod will creep into it.=--_Scotch._
"He that quits his place loses it" (French).[179] "Whoso absents
himself, his share absents itself" (Arab).