"Him that has a good wife no evil in life that may not be borne,
can befall.
Him that has a bad wife no good thing in life can chance to,
that good you may call."[86]
=Put your hand in the creel, and take out either an adder or an eel.=
That's matrimony. "In buying horses and taking a wife, shut your eyes
and commend yourself to God" (Italian).[87] "Marriages are not as they
are made, but as they turn out" (Italian).[88]
=There's but ae gude wife in the country, and ilka man thinks he's
got her.=--_Scotch._
It is a pleasant delusion while it lasts, and it is not incurable.
Instances of complete recovery from it are not rare.
=A man may woo where he will, but must wed where he's
weird.=--_Scotch._
That is, where he is fated to wed. This is exactly equivalent to the
English saying,--
=Marriages are made in heaven=,
the meaning of which Dean Trench appears to me to mistake, when he
speaks with admiration of its "religious depth and beauty." I cannot
find in it a shadow of religious sentiment. It simply implies that it
is not forethought, inclination, or mutual fitness that has the largest
share in bringing man and wife together. More efficient than all these
is the force of circumstances, or what people vaguely call chance,
fate, fortune, and so forth. In the French version of the adage,
"Marriages are _written_ in heaven,"[89] we find the special formula
of Oriental fatalism; and fatalism is everywhere the popular creed
respecting marriage. Hence, as Shakspeare says,--
"The ancient saying is no heresy--
Hanging and wiving go by destiny."
"But now consider the old proverbs to be true y saieth: that marriage
is destinie."--_Hall's Chronicles._
=If marriages be made in heaven some had few friends there.=--_Scotch._
=Ne'er seek a wife till ye hae a house and a fire burning.=--_Scotch._
=More belongs to a bed than four bare legs.=
=Marriage is honourable, but housekeeping is a shrew.=
=Sweetheart and honey-bird keeps no house.=
"Marry, marry, and what about the housekeeping?" (Portuguese).[90]
"Remember," said a French lady to her son, who was about to make an
imprudent match, "remember that in wedded life there is only one thing
which continues every day the same, and that is the necessity of making
the pot boil." "He that marries for love has good nights and bad days"
(French).[91] "Before you marry have where to tarry," (Italian);[92]
and remember that
=A wee house has a wide throat.=
It costs something to support a family, however small; and "It is
easier to build two hearths than always to have a fire on one"
(German).[93]
='Tis hard to wive and thrive both in a year.=
=Who weds ere he be wise shall die ere he thrive.=
=Happy is the wooing that is not long a-doing.=
This is so far true as it discommends long engagements.
='Tis time to yoke when the cart comes to the capples [i.e.,
horses].=--_Cheshire._
That is, it is time to marry when the woman wooes the man. This
provincial word "capple" is Irish also, and is allied to, but not
derived from, the Latin _caballus_. It is probably one of the few words
of the ancient Celtic tongue of Britain which were adopted into the
language of the Saxon conquerors.
=Husbands are in heaven whose wives chide not.=
Whether or not that heaven is ever found on earth is a question which
each man must decide from his own experience. "He that has a wife has
strife,"[94] say the French, and the Italian proverb-mongers take an
unhandsome advantage of the fact that in their language the words
"wife" and "woes" differ only by a letter.[95] St. Jerome declares that
"Whoever is free from wrangling is a bachelor."[96]
=A smoky chimney and a scolding wife are two bad companions.=
The Scotch couple together "A leaky house and a scolding wife," in
which they follow Solomon: "A continual dropping on a very rainy day
and a contentious woman are alike."[97] "It is better to dwell in a
corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house."[98]
=A house wi' a reek and a wife wi' a reerd [scolding noise] will sune
mak a man run to the door.=--_Scotch._
Of the continental versions of this proverb the Spanish[99] seems to me
the best, and next to it the Dutch.[100]
=It's a sair reek where the gude wife dings the gude man.=--_Scotch._
"A man in my country," says James Kelly, "coming out of his house with
tears on his cheeks, was asked the occasion. He said 'there was a
sair reek in the house;' but, upon further inquiry, it was found that
his wife had beaten him." "It is a sad house where the hen crows and
the cock is mute" (Spanish).[101] Though we have not this proverb in
English, we have its spirit embodied in one word, HENPECKED, which is
peculiar to ourselves.
=The grey mare is the better horse.=
The wife wears the breeches. "A hawk's marriage: the hen is the better
bird" (French).[102]
=Marry above your match and you get a master.=
"In the rich woman's house she commands always, and he never"
(Spanish).[103] "Who takes a wife for her dower turns his back on
freedom" (French).[104] But every married man is in this plight, for
"He that has a wife has a master."[105]
"He that's not sensible of the truth of this proverb," says James
Kelly, "may blot it out or pass it over."
"As the good man saith, so say we;
But as the good woman saith, so it must be."
=Wedding and ill wintering tame both man and beast.=
"You will marry and grow tame" (Spanish).[106]
=He that marries a widow and two daughters marries three stark
thieves.=
=He that marries a widow and two daughters has three back doors to his
house.=