Extracts From the Writings of Baha'u'llah:
53: Steadfastness in the Cause is mentioned in the Tablets and set forth
by...
Steadfastness in the Cause is mentioned in the Tablets and set forth by
the Pen of the Ancient of Days. Render thanks to the Beloved of the world
that thou hast set thy heart on Him and art uttering His praise. Many a
man hath in this day been deprived of making mention of the All-Sufficing
Lord and of recognizing His truth; and many a woman hath fixed her gaze
upon the Horizon of the Most High, and hath adorned herself with the garb
of the love of the Desire of the world. This is God's grace which He
bestoweth upon whomsoever He pleaseth. By the Day-Star of ancient
mysteries! The sweet-scented fragrance of every breath breathed in the
love of God is wafted in the court of the presence of the Lord of
Revelation. The reward of no good deed is or ever will be lost. Blessed
art thou, doubly blessed art thou! Thou art reckoned amongst those
handmaidens whose love for their kin hath not prevented them from
attaining the shores of the Sea of Grace and Mercy. God willing, thou
shalt rest eternally neath the shade of the favours of the All-Merciful
and shalt be assured of His bounties. Engage in the praise of the True One
and rejoice in His loving-kindness.
The world passeth away, and that which is everlasting is the love of God.
God willing, thou shalt circumambulate the True One in every world of His
worlds and shalt be free from all else save Him....
(From a Tablet - translated from the Persian and Arabic) [53]
54: All should know, and in this regard attain the splendours of the sun
of...
All should know, and in this regard attain the splendours of the sun of
certitude, and be illumined thereby: Women and men have been and will
always be equal in the sight of God. The Dawning-Place of the Light of God
sheddeth its radiance upon all with the same effulgence. Verily God
created women for men, and men for women. The most beloved of people
before God are the most steadfast and those who have surpassed others in
their love for God, exalted be His glory....
The friends of God must be adorned with the ornament of justice, equity,
kindness and love. As they do not allow themselves to be the object of
cruelty and transgression, in like manner they should not allow such
tyranny to visit the handmaidens of God. He, verily, speaketh the truth
and commandeth that which benefitteth His servants and handmaidens. He is
the Protector of all in this world and the next.
(From a Tablet - translated from the Persian and Arabic) [54]
Extracts From the Writings and Utterances of 'Abdu'l-Baha:
55: The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each
other...
The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other
in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are
two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the
welfare of each other.
If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect
contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine
grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other than this,
they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every
moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm.
Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in
the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds.
("Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha", sec. 92, p. 122) [55]
56: ...following the precepts of God and the holy Law, suckle your
children from...
...following the precepts of God and the holy Law, suckle your children
from their infancy with the milk of a universal education, and rear them
so that from their earliest days, within their inmost heart, their very
nature, a way of life will be firmly established that will conform to the
divine Teachings in all things.
For mothers are the first educators, the first mentors; and truly it is
the mothers who determine the happiness, the future greatness, the
courteous ways and learning and judgement, the understanding and the faith
of their little ones.
("Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha", sec. 96, p. 126) [56]
57: ...it is enjoined upon the father and mother, as a duty, to strive
with all...
...it is enjoined upon the father and mother, as a duty, to strive with
all effort to train the daughter and the son, to nurse them from the
breast of knowledge and to rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts.
Should they neglect this matter, they shall be held responsible and worthy
of reproach in the presence of the stern Lord.
("Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha", sec. 98, p. 127) [57]
58: O ye loving mothers, know ye that in God's sight, the best of all ways
to...
O ye loving mothers, know ye that in God's sight, the best of all ways to
worship Him is to educate the children and train them in all the
perfections of humankind; and no nobler deed than this can be imagined.
("Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha", sec. 144, p. 139) [58]
59: Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the
affairs of...
Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given family, the affairs of
that family are conducted; what progress the members of that family make,
how they prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they enjoy
comfort and tranquillity, they are secure, their position is assured, they
come to be envied by all. Such a family but addeth to its stature and its
lasting honour, as day succeedeth day....
("Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha", sec. 221, p. 279) [59]
60: You have asked whether a husband would be able to prevent his wife
from...
You have asked whether a husband would be able to prevent his wife from
embracing the divine light or a wife dissuade her husband from gaining
entry into the Kingdom of God. In truth neither of them could prevent the
other from entering into the Kingdom, unless the husband hath an excessive
attachment to the wife or the wife to the husband. Indeed when either of
the two worshippeth the other to the exclusion of God, then each could
prevent the other from seeking admittance into His Kingdom.
(From a Tablet - Translated from the Arabic, published in "Family Life, a
compilation", p. 8) [60]
61: Question: What is the attitude of your belief toward the family?...
Question: What is the attitude of your belief toward the family?
Answer: According to the teachings of Baha'u'llah the family, being a
human unit, must be educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the
virtues must be taught the family. The integrity of the family bond must
be constantly considered, and the rights of the individual members must
not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the mother--none of
them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary. Just as the son
has certain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain
obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the
household have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and
prerogatives must be conserved, yet the unity of the family must be
sustained. The injury of one shall be considered the injury of all; the
comfort of each, the comfort of all; the honor of one, the honor of all.
("The Promulgation of Universal Peace: Talks Delivered by 'Abdu'l-Baha
during His Visit to the United States and Canada in 1912", p. 168) [61]
Extracts From letters written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to individual
believers unless otherwise cited
62: When such difference of opinion and belief occurs between husband and
wife it...
When such difference of opinion and belief occurs between husband and wife
it is very unfortunate for undoubtedly it detracts from that spiritual
bond which is the stronghold of the family bond, especially in times of
difficulty. The way, however, that it could be remedied is not by acting
in such wise as to alienate the other party. One of the objects of the
Cause is actually to bring about a closer bond in the homes. In all such
cases, therefore, the Master used to advise obedience to the wishes of the
other party and prayer. Pray that your husband may gradually see the light
and at the same time so act as to draw him nearer rather than prejudice
him. Once that harmony is secured then you will be able to serve
unhampered.
(15 July 1928) [62]
63: Shoghi Effendi trusts that as a result of his cable and this letter
your...
Shoghi Effendi trusts that as a result of his cable and this letter your
wife will be able to devote a little more time to her family, but he also
hopes that you will be able to assist her in obtaining the time and
opportunity to serve a Cause that is so dear and near to her heart and in
which her services are much appreciated.
(19 June 1931) [63]
64: The Guardian, in his remarks ... about parents' and children's, wives'
and...
The Guardian, in his remarks ... about parents' and children's, wives' and
husbands' relations in America, meant that there is a tendency in that
country for children to be too independent of the wishes of their parents
and lacking in the respect due to them. Also wives, in some cases, have a
tendency to exert an unjust degree of domination over their husbands,
which, of course, is not right, any more than that the husband should
unjustly dominate his wife.
(22 July 1943) [64]
65: It is one of the essential teachings of the Faith that unity should
be...
It is one of the essential teachings of the Faith that unity should be
maintained in the home. Of course this does not mean that any member of
the family has a right to influence the faith of any other member; and if
this is realized by all the members, then it seems certain that unity
would be feasible.
(6 July 1952) [65]
66: The Guardian fully appreciates your desire to go forth as a pioneer
at...
The Guardian fully appreciates your desire to go forth as a pioneer at
this time, and to help establish the Faith in the virgin areas, but you
should not go against the wishes of your husband, and force him to give up
everything in order that you might serve the Faith in this manner. We must
bear in mind the wishes and the rights of those who are closely connected
in our lives.
If your husband wishes you to remain where you are, certainly there is a
vast field for teaching there....
(31 July 1953) [66]
67: Wherever there is a Baha'i family, those concerned should by all
means...
Wherever there is a Baha'i family, those concerned should by all means do
all they can to preserve it, because divorce is strongly condemned in the
Teachings, whereas harmony, unity and love are held up as the highest
ideals in human relationships. This must always apply to the Baha'is,
whether they are serving in the pioneering field or not.
(9 November 1956 to the National Spiritual Assembly of Central America)
[67]
Extracts From letters Written on Behalf of the Universal House of Justice
to individual believers unless otherwise cited
68: That the first teacher of the child is the mother should not be
startling,...
That the first teacher of the child is the mother should not be startling,
for the primary orientation of the infant is to its mother. This provision
of nature in no way minimizes the role of the father in the Baha'i family.
Again, equality of status does not mean identity of function.
(23 June 1974) [68]
69: In considering the problems that you and your wife are experiencing,
the...
In considering the problems that you and your wife are experiencing, the
House of Justice points out that the unity of your family should take
priority over any other consideration. Baha'u'llah came to bring unity to
the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family. Therefore, we
must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not
weaken it. For example, service to the Cause should not produce neglect of
the family. It is important for you to arrange your time so that your
family life is harmonious and your household receives the attention it
requires.
Baha'u'llah also stressed the importance of consultation. We should not
think this worthwhile method of seeking solutions is confined to the
administrative institutions of the Cause. Family consultation employing
full and frank discussion, and animated by awareness of the need for
moderation and balance, can be the panacea for domestic conflict. Wives
should not attempt to dominate their husbands, nor husbands their
wives....
(1 August 1978) [69]
70: Noting that you and your husband have consulted about your family
problems...
Noting that you and your husband have consulted about your family problems
with your Spiritual Assembly but did not receive any advice, and also
discussed your situation with a family counsellor without success, the
House of Justice feels it most essential for your husband and you to
understand that marriage can be a source of well-being, conveying a sense
of security and spiritual happiness. However, it is not something that
just happens. For marriage to become a haven of contentment it requires
the cooperation of the marriage partners themselves, and the assistance of
their families....
(24 June 1979) [70]
71: The members of a family all have duties and responsibilities towards
one...
The members of a family all have duties and responsibilities towards one
another and to the family as a whole, and these duties and
responsibilities vary from member to member because of their natural
relationships. The parents have the inescapable duty to educate their
children--but not vice versa; the children have the duty to obey their
parents--the parents do not obey the children; the mother--not the
father--bears the children, nurses them in babyhood, and is thus their
first educator; hence daughters have a prior right to education over sons
and, as the Guardian's secretary has written on his behalf, "The task of
bringing up a Baha'i child, as emphasized time and again in Baha'i
Writings, is the chief responsibility of the mother, whose unique
privilege is indeed to create in her home such conditions as would be most
conducive to both his material and spiritual welfare and advancement. The
training which a child first receives through his mother constitutes the
strongest foundation for his future development..." A corollary of this
responsibility of the mother is her right to be supported by her husband--a
husband has no explicit right to be supported by his wife....
...
In any group, however loving the consultation, there are nevertheless
points on which, from time to time, agreement cannot be reached. In a
Spiritual Assembly this dilemma is resolved by a majority vote. There can,
however, be no majority where only two parties are involved, as in the
case of a husband and wife. There are, therefore, times when a wife should
defer to her husband, and times when a husband should defer to his wife,
but neither should ever unjustly dominate the other. In short, the
relationship between husband and wife should be as held forth in the
prayer revealed by 'Abdu'l-Baha which is often read at Baha'i weddings:
"Verily, they are married in obedience to Thy command. Cause them to
become the signs of harmony and unity until the end of time."
These are all relationships within the family, but there is a much wider
sphere of relationships between men and women than in the home, and this
too we should consider in the context of Baha'i society, not in that of
past or present social norms. For example, although the mother is the
first educator of the child, and the most important formative influence in
his development, the father also has the responsibility of educating his
children, and this responsibility is so weighty that Baha'u'llah has
stated that a father who fails to exercise it forfeits his rights of
fatherhood. Similarly, although the primary responsibility for supporting
the family financially is placed upon the husband, this does not by any
means imply that the place of woman is confined to the home....
(28 December 1980 to the National Spiritual Assembly of New Zealand) [71]
72: You have asked, however, for specific rules of conduct to govern
the...
You have asked, however, for specific rules of conduct to govern the
relationships of husbands and wives. This the House of Justice does not
wish to do, and it feels that there is already adequate guidance included
in the compilation on this subject. For example the principle that the
rights of each and all in the family unit must be upheld, and the advice
that loving consultation should be the keynote, that all matters should be
settled in harmony and love, and that there are times when the husband and
the wife should defer to the wishes of the other. Exactly under what
circumstances such deference should take place, is a matter for each
couple to determine....
(16 May 1982) [72]
73: You ask about the admonition that everyone must work, and want to know
if...
You ask about the admonition that everyone must work, and want to know if
this means that you, a wife and mother, must work for a livelihood as your
husband does. We are requested to enclose for your perusal an excerpt,
"The twelfth Glad-Tidings", from Baha'u'llah's "Tablet of Bi_sh_arat".(3)
You will see that the directive is for the friends to be engaged in an
occupation which will be of benefit to mankind. Homemaking is a highly
honourable and responsible work of fundamental importance for mankind....
(16 June 1982) [73]
74: With regard to your question whether mothers should work outside the
home,...
With regard to your question whether mothers should work outside the home,
it is helpful to consider the matter from the perspective of the concept
of a Baha'i family. This concept is based on the principle that the man
has primary responsibility for the financial support of the family, and
the woman is the chief and primary educator of the children. This by no
means implies that these functions are inflexibly fixed and cannot be
changed and adjusted to suit particular family situations, nor does it
mean that the place of the woman is confined to the home. Rather, while
primary responsibility is assigned, it is anticipated that fathers would
play a significant role in the education of the children and women could
also be breadwinners. As you rightly indicated, 'Abdu'l-Baha encouraged
women to "participate fully and equally in the affairs of the world".
In relation to your specific queries, the decision concerning the amount
of time a mother may spend in working outside the home depends on
circumstances existing within the home, which may vary from time to time.
Family consultation will help to provide the answers....
(9 August 1984) [74]
75: The great importance attached to the mother's role derives from the
fact...
The great importance attached to the mother's role derives from the fact
that she is the first educator of the child. Her attitude, her prayers,
even what she eats and her physical condition have a great influence on
the child when it is still in the womb. When the child is born, it is she
who has been endowed by God with the milk which is the first food designed
for it, and it is intended that, if possible, she should be with the baby
to train and nurture it in its earliest days and months. This does not
mean that the father does not also love, pray for, and care for his baby,
but as he has the primary responsibility of providing for the family, his
time to be with his child is usually limited, while the mother is usually
closely associated with the baby during this intensely formative time when
it is growing and developing faster than it ever will again during the
whole of its life. As the child grows older and more independent, the
relative nature of its relationship with its mother and father modifies
and the father can play a greater role.
(23 August 1984 to two believers) [75]