MEXICAN MANNERS.
Among the most interesting things in Mexico are the customs followed
by the people, which are quaint, and, in many cases, pretty and
pleasing. Mexican politeness, while not always sincere, is vastly more
agreeable than the courtesy current among Americans. Their pleasing
manners seem to be inborn, yet the Mexican of Spanish descent cannot
excel the Indian in courtesy, who, though ignorant, unable to read or
write, could teach politeness to a Chesterfield. The moment they are
addressed their hat is in hand. If they wish to pass they first beg
your permission. Even a child when learning to talk is the perfection
of courtesy. If you ask one its name it will tell you, and immediately
add, "I am your servant" or "Your servant to command." This grows with
them, and when past childhood they are as near perfection in this line
as it is possible to be.
When woman meets woman then doesn't come "the tug of war," but instead
the "hug and kissing;" the kissing is never on the lips, but while one
kisses a friend on the right cheek, she is being kissed on the left,
and then they change off and kiss the other side. Both sides must be
kissed; this is repeated according to the familiarity existing between
them, but never on the lips, although with an introduction the lips
are touched. The hug--well, it is given in the same place as it is in
other countries, and in a right tight and wholly earnest manner. From
the first moment they are expected to address each other only by their
Christian names, the family name never being used.
The parlor furniture is arranged the same all over Mexico; the sofa is
placed against the wall and the chairs form a circle around it; the
visitor is given the sofa, which is the "seat of honor," and the family
sit in the circle, the eldest nearest the sofa; the visitor expects
to be asked to play the piano, which she does in fine style, and then
the hostess must play after her or commit a breach of courtesy, which
social crime she also commits if she neglects to ask the guest to play;
visitors always stay half a day, and before leaving she is treated
to a dish of fine dulce, a sweet dessert, cigarettes and wine; then
mantillas are put on, blessings, good wishes, kisses and embraces
are exchanged, each says "My house is yours; I am your servant," and
depart. All the rules of decorum have been obeyed.
When men are introduced they clasp hands, not the way Americans do,
but with thumbs interlocked, and embrace with the left arm; then the
left hands are clasped and they embrace with the right arm, patting the
back in a hearty manner; the more intimate they become the closer the
embrace, and it is not unusual to see men kiss; these embraces are not
saved for private or home use, but are as frequent on the streets as
hat tipping is here; the hand clasping is both agreeable and hearty.
They clasp hands every time they part, if it be only for an hour's
duration, and again when they meet, and when careless Americans forget
the rule they vote them very rude and ill-bred. Undoubtedly, as a
nation, we are.
On the street a woman is not permitted to recognize a man first. She
must wait until he lifts his shining silk hat; then she raises her
hand until on a level with her face, turns the palm inward, with the
fingers pointing toward the face, then holds the first and fourth
fingers still, and moves the two center ones in a quick motion; the
action is very pretty, and the picture of grace when done by a Mexican
senora, but is inclined to deceive the green American, and lead him to
believe it is a gesture calling him to her side. When two women walk
along together the youngest is always given the inside of the pavement,
or if the younger happens to be married, she gets the outside--they
are quite strict about this; also, if a gentleman is with a mother
and daughters, he must walk with the mother and the girls must walk
before them. A woman who professes Christianity will not wear a hat or
bonnet to church, but gracefully covers her head with a lace mantilla.
No difference how nicely she is clad, she is not considered dressed
in good taste unless powdered and painted, to the height reached only
by chorus girls. Four years ago, the Americans tell me, the Mexican
women promenaded the streets and parks and took drives in ball-dresses,
low neck, sleeveless, and with enormous trains; this has almost been
stopped, although the finest of dresses, vivid in color, and only
suitable for house or reception wear, are yet worn on Sundays.
Everybody wears jewelry, not with good taste, but piled on recklessly.
I have seen men with rings on every finger, always excepting the thumb;
and the cologne used is something wonderful. You can smell it while
they are a square off, and it is discernible when they are out of
sight. A man is not considered fashionable unless he parts his hair in
the middle, from his forehead to the nape of his neck, and dress it _a
la_ pompadour. The handkerchief is always carried folded in a square,
and is used alternately to wipe his dainty little low-cut boots and the
face. Afterward it is refolded and replaced in the pocket.
Visitors are always expected to call first, to see their friends when
in town, as it would be a great breach of decorum for a family to call
on a visitor before he or she came to their house. If two or more
people meet in a room and are not acquainted they must speak, but not
shake hands; they can converse until some one comes, when they will
accept an introduction and embrace, as if they had just that instant
met. When one occupies a bench in the park with a stranger neither
must depart without bidding the other farewell, and very often while
murmuring adieus they clasp hands and lift hats.
Mexicans in talking employ a number of signs, which mean as much to
them and are as plainly understood as English words would be to us.
They speak their sign-language gracefully; indeed, they are a very
graceful people, and yet they never study it or give it a thought. When
they want a waiter in a restaurant, or a man on the streets, they never
call or whistle, as we would do, but simply clap the hands several
times and the wanted party comes. The system is very convenient, and
far more pleasing than the American plan. When wishing to beckon any
one, they throw the hand from them in the same manner as Americans do
if they want any one to move on. To go away, they hold the fingers
together and move them toward the body.
They never say that a man is drunk; it sounds vulgar, and, as they will
"get that way," they merely place the index finger on the temple and
incline the head slightly toward the person meant. They could never
be abrupt enough to say any one was crazy or had no brains, so they
touch the forehead, between the eyebrows, with the first finger. To
speak of money they form a circle of the thumb and forefinger; to ask
you to take a drink or tell the servants to bring one, the thumb is
turned toward the mouth; to ask you to wait a little while, the first
finger is held within a quarter of an inch of the thumb. To hold the
palm upward, and slowly move the hand backward and forward, says as
plain as English "I am going to whip my wife," or "I whip my wife." If
they want you to play a game at cards, they close both fists and hold
them tightly together. Touching the thumb rapidly with the four fingers
closed means you have much or many of anything, like many friends.
Making a scissors sign with the fist and second finger means you are
cutting some one in the back. Whittling one forefinger with the other
means "you got left." When courting on the balcony and the girl smooths
her lip and chin, you are warned to get out; "the old man is coming."
In company, when one is so unfortunate as to sneeze, they are greatly
insulted, and the company is badly wanting in good manners unless, just
as the sneeze is finished, every one ejaculates "Jesu," "Jesucristo."