I am both sorry and glad to inform my readers--that I can neither read
nor write.
It would seem absurd for a blind man to study the stars, Or for a deaf
man to study music; so it might seem to you absurd for a man who cannot
write to write a book. But I have an excuse for writing these events.
The President of Mexico; and the Governor of Alaska together with
several hundreds between, equally as popular have urged me to write my
history. I am sorry I cannot write this with my own fingers but I have a
substitute in my old back-woods chum--The Kidd. Who by the way--neither
writes very flourishing, because he like myself has done the most of his
writing with his six-shooter; because you know this a more expressive
way of talking and a more impressive way of writing. I have a brother
who is a real educated gentleman, he tried to dissuade me from
publishing my history because I think he is afraid he will be outshone
by literary merit. I have no ambition to outshine him, nor William
Shakespere nor any other erudite. I have a very limited vocabulary, and
since swearing and smoking are not allowed in print, I shall have to
loose the biggest half of that. I shall omit foreign language, I could
assault you with Mex--or Siwash but I fear you could not survive the
battery. So I shall confine myself to simple speech, such as I have used
in all lands. From Gotch my bronco to Arctic my dog. It has served me
since I was six summers old It served me amid the bells of Peru and then
afar amid the Agate Eyed squaws of The Kuskokwim; and this ought to be a
good excuse.--Yours truly