SIR,--Excellent as is the suggestion of your Correspondent, "ONE WHO
WOULD ELEVATE THEM," that the Unemployed should be forthwith put into
the hands of some competent Ballet-Master, and after a proper course
of instruction, despatched to all the Board Schools in England for
the purpose of teaching every pupil who has passed the Sixth Standard,
dancing and deportment, yet I do not think he goes far enough.
Why stop at this comparatively subordinate art? Why not make them
musicians, teach them to play WAGNER, and despatch them straightway
through the length and breadth of the land as enthusiastic Apostles of
the great Master? What a glorious prospect to turn the three or four
thousand idle loafers who have lately been hulking about Trafalgar
Square for the purpose of breaking the peace, into a mighty army of
skilled fiddlers eager to wake the glad strains of the spirit-stirring
Music of the Future in every quiet village green through the three
Kingdoms. And the accomplishment of such a task need not be set aside
as the wild vision of some hopeless dreamer. I am convinced, Sir, that
if the authorities of the Royal College and Guildhall School of
Music, but set their shoulders to the wheel, the thing will soon be an
accomplished fact. Such, Sir, at all events, is the opinion of one who
believes firmly in
"THE SOUL OF THE MASSES."
SIR,--Why not paint the whole of London, public buildings and
all?--I'm sure they want it. The latter might be done in different
colours. St. Paul's, for instance, might be orange, Westminster Abbey
pea-green, and the Houses of Parliament a bright blue. If the effect
were found unsatisfactory, fresh colours could be tried, until
something were hit upon that should be considered suitable. This
would afford the additional advantage of providing fresh work for the
Unemployed. I don't see what else can be done. Everybody can use a
brush, and with a couple, or say, three coats all over the Metropolis,
there would be plenty to occupy everybody for the next six months.
As to expense, an extra 15s. tacked on to the rates would soon settle
that, and I'll be bound there's many a householder willing to face
that trifling alternative, together with
Yours, practically, one who takes
"THE BULL BY THE HORNS."
SIR,--I cannot but think that, if BUFFALO BILL were to introduce
the "Unemployed" into his Show, he would score a big success. The
introduction might take the shape of a contest between the "Wild East"
and the "Wild West." The former might be armed with brickbats and
park-railings, and the latter with their usual weapons; and, were it
known that a little genuine blood would be drawn in the entertainment,
it might be safely counted on to draw all London. I throw out the
suggestion for what it is worth.
Your obedient servant,
"A COMMERCIAL WELL-WISHER."
SIR,--As at the present season of the year nothing is more common than
to find the stalls of most of the leading West-End theatres empty, a
fact which has a very chilling effect on the efforts of the players,
why not fill the empty places with the so-called "Unemployed"? A warm
bath, a suit of evening clothes, clean shirt, and white tie would
instantly fit the veriest outcast that has recently come into
collision with the police in Hyde Park or elsewhere, at least
outwardly, for the social atmosphere of the place. A central committee
might at once be inaugurated for the supply of these necessary
preliminaries for admission, and a thousand or two excellent
substitutes for the ordinary _habitues_ forthwith launched nightly
among what is at the present moment left of the fashionable play-going
world in the Metropolis. The advantage would cut both ways. Not only
would the Management be blessed by the appearance of a perfectly
full house, but the loafers, professional thieves, and ruffians who
produced it would, no doubt, endeavour to play up to their clothes and
surroundings, and, on receipt of a small retaining-fee of 3s. 6d. a
head for their attendance, be proportionately softened and civilised
by the process. This, Sir, seems to me a very legitimate, humane, and
philosophical method of dealing with the present crisis, and as such I
trust it will as powerfully recommend itself to your readers as it has
to
Yours thoughtfully,
"A PLEASURE-SEEKING SOCIALIST."
SIR,--What are the authorities about that they do not at once embank
the river on both sides up to Richmond, and span it with five bridges
between this and Gravesend? Then there's the whole of Piccadilly
to come down and be rebuilt with the road properly levelled, to
say nothing of a great Central Terminus in Soho Square uniting the
Midland, North and Great Western, Great Northern with the Great
Eastern, and all the Great Southern lines. Add to this, that the
entire gas-piping of the Metropolis ought to come up bodily, and make
way for the installation of the Electric Light, to say nothing of the
fixing in all the leading thoroughfares of overhead railways on the
New York principle, and you have enough work at least to begin upon
and meet the present crisis. Let the Board of Works and the various
Vestries set to work at once, and as soon as Parliament assembles
let it be asked to vote Five-hundred Millions towards preliminary
expenses. This, Sir, is, I am convinced, the only reasonable and
efficient way of dealing with the present unsatisfactory aspect of the
labour question. Such is the opinion of
Yours energetically,
"A ROUSED ALARMIST."
SIR,--When the Police have fairly and effectually cleared off the
loafers, not-do-a-stroke-of-work gentry, and the sedition-mongers,
then we can turn our attention to the wants of the genuine Unemployed.
Their case is by no means beyond us. It only needs the active and
intelligent co-operation among the administrators of charitable funds
and agencies, the Poor-Law Authorities, employers of labour, and
others, to give immediate and practical effect to the wide-spread
sympathy felt for them by all classes of their more fortunate
fellow-countrymen, including your quite sober-minded and
charitably-disposed Correspondent,
"COMMON SENSE."
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