"One thing, however, was evident, that your mother had an aversion--I
may say a horror--of me, which she could not conceal. She said nothing,
but she never could look at me; and to any question I put, would seldom
make reply. Strange to say this treatment of hers produced quite a
different effect from what might have been anticipated, and I felt my
former love for her revive. Her shrinking from me made me more familiar
towards her, and increased her disgust. I assumed a jocose air with
her, and at times Captain James considered it his duty to interfere and
check me. He was a very powerful man, and in a contest would have
proved my master; this I knew, and this knowledge compelled me to be
more respectful to your mother in his presence, but when his back was
turned I became so disgustingly familiar, that at last your mother
requested that whether fishing or collecting wood, instead of going out
by turns we should both go, and leave her alone. This I could not well
refuse, as Captain James would in all probability have used force if I
had not consented, but my hatred to him was in consequence most
unbounded. However, an event took place which relieved me from the
subjection which I was under, and left me alone with you and your
mother. Now I must rest a little. Wait another hour, and you shall know
the rest."
It was now late in the evening, but there was a bright moon which shone
over head, and the broad light and shadow made the rocks around us
appear peculiarly wild and rugged. They towered up one above the other
till they met the dark blue of the sky in which the stars twinkled but
faintly, while the moon sailed through the ether, without a cloud to
obscure her radiance. And in this majestic scenery were found but two
living beings--a poor boy and a mangled wretch--a murderer--soon to
breathe his last, and be summoned before an offended God. As I remained
motionless by his side, I felt, as I looked up, a sensation of awe, but
not of fear; I thought to myself--"And God made all this and all the
world besides, and me and him. The Bible said so:" and my speculation
then was as to what God must be, for although I had read the Bible, I
had but a confused idea, and had it been asked me, as it was of the man
in the chariot by Philip, "Understandest thou what thou readest?" I
most certainly should have answered, No. I remained for nearly two
hours in this reverie, and at last fell asleep with my back against the
rock. I was, however, wakened up by Jackson's voice, when he asked in a
low tone for water.
"There it is," said I, handing it to him. "Have you called long?"
"No," replied he; "I asked but once."
"I have been asleep," said I.
As soon as he had drunk, he said--
"I will finish now; my side begins to burn."
He then proceeded--
"It was about four months after your father's death that Captain James
and I went together to the ravine to collect firewood. We passed under
the wall of rock, which you know so well, and went through the gap, as
we call it, when Captain James left the water-course and walked along
the edge of the wall. I followed him; we both of us had our pieces of
rope in our hands with which we tied the faggots. Of a sudden his foot
slipped, and he rolled down to the edge of the rock, but catching hold
of a small bush which had fixed its roots in the rocks, he saved
himself when his body was hanging half over the precipice.
"'Give me the end of your rope,' said he to me, perfectly collected,
although in such danger.
"'Yes,' replied I, and I intended so to do, as I perceived that if I
refused he could still have saved himself by the bush to which he clung.
"But the bush began to loosen and give way, and Captain James
perceiving it cried out--
"'Quick, quick, the bush is giving way!'
"This assertion of his determined me not to give him the rope. I
pretended to be in a great hurry to do so, but entangled it about my
legs, and then appeared occupied in clearing it, when he cried again--
"'Quick!'--and hardly had he said the word when the root of the bush
snapped, and down he fell below.
"I heard the crash as he came to the rock beneath. See the judgment of
God--am I not now precisely in his position, lying battered and crushed
as he was? After a time I went down to where he lay, and found him
expiring. He had just strength to say 'God forgive you,' and then he
died. It was murder, for I could have saved him and would not, and yet
he prayed to God to forgive me. How much happier should I have felt if
he had not said that. His 'God forgive you' rang in my ears for months
afterwards. I returned to the cabin, and with a bold air stated to your
mother what had happened, for I felt I could say, this time, I did not
do the deed. She burst out into frantic exclamations, accusing me of
being not only his murderer but the murderer of her husband. I tried
all I could do to appease her, but in vain. For many weeks she was in a
state of melancholy and despondency, that made me fear for her life;
but she had you still to bestow her affections upon, and for your sake
she lived. I soon made this discovery. She was now wholly in my power,
but I was awed by her looks even, for a time. At last I became bolder,
and spoke to her of our becoming man and wife; she turned from me with
abhorrence. I then resorted to other means. I prevented her from
obtaining food; she would have starved with pleasure, but she could not
bear to see you suffer. I will not detail my cruelty and barbarity
towards her; suffice to say, it was such that she pined away, and about
six months after the death of the captain she died, exhorting me not to
injure you, but if ever I had an opportunity, to take you to your
grandfather. I could not refuse this demand, made by a woman whom I as
certainly killed by slow means as I had your father by a more sudden
death. I buried her in the guano, by the side of the others. After her
death my life was a torture to me for a long while. I dared not kill
you, but I hated you. I had only one consolation, one hope, which
occasionally gave me satisfaction; the consolation, if so it could be
called, was--that I had possession of the diamonds; the hope--that I
should one day see England again. You see me now--are they not all
avenged?"
I could not but feel the truth of Jackson's last sentence. They were
indeed avenged.
After a short pause, he said to me--
"Now, Frank, I feel that the mortification in my side is making great
progress, and, in a short time I shall be in too great pain to talk to
you. I have made a full confession of my crimes; it is all the
reparation I can make to you. Now, can you forgive me? for I shall die
very miserable if you do not. Just look at me. Can you feel resentment
against one in my wretched state? Recollect that you pray to be
forgiven as you forgive others. Give me your answer."
"I think--yes, I feel that I can forgive you, Jackson," replied I. "I
shall soon be left alone on this island, and I am sure I should be much
more miserable than I shall be, if I do not forgive you. I do forgive
you."
"Thanks; you are a good boy, and may God bless you. Is it not nearly
daylight?"
"Yes, it is. I shall soon be able to read the Bible or Prayer-book to
you. I have them both here."
"The pain is too severe, and becomes worse every minute. I shall not be
able to listen to you now; but I shall have some moments of quiet
before I die; and then--"
Jackson groaned heavily, and ceased speaking.
For many hours he appeared to suffer much agony, which he vented in low
groans; the perspiration hung on his forehead in large beads, and his
breathing became laborious. The sun rose and had nearly set again
before Jackson spoke; at last he asked for some drink.
"It is over now," said he faintly. "The pain is subsiding, and death is
near at hand. You may read to me now; but, first, while I think of it,
let me tell you where you will find your father's property."
"I know," replied I; "in your bed-place under the board. I saw you
remove it when you did not see me."
"True. I have no more to say; it will all be over soon. Read the burial
service over me after I am dead; and now, while still above, read me
what you think I shall like best; for I cannot collect myself
sufficiently to tell you what is most proper. Indeed I hardly know. But
I can pray at times. Read on."
I did so, and came upon the parable of the prodigal son.
"That suits me," said Jackson. "Now let me pray. Pray for me, Frank."
"I don't know how," replied I; "you never taught me."
"Alas, no!"
Jackson was then silent. I saw his pale lips move for some time. I
turned away for a few moments; when I came back to him, he was no more!
His jaw had fallen; and this being the first time that I had ever faced
death, I looked upon the corpse with horror and dismay.
After a few minutes I left the body, and sat down on a rock at some
distance from it, for I was somewhat afraid to be near to it. On this
rock I remained till the sun was sinking below the horizon; when,
alarmed at the idea of being there when it was dark, I took up my books
and hastened back to the cabin. I was giddy from excitement, and not
having tasted food for many hours. As soon as I had eaten, I lay down
in my bed-place, intending to reflect upon what I was to do, now that I
was alone; but I was in a few moments fast asleep, and did not wake
until the sun was high. I arose much refreshed, and, seeing my Bible
and Prayer-book close to my bed-place, I recollected my promise to
Jackson that I would read the burial service over his body. I found the
place in the Prayer-book, for I had read it more than once before; and,
having just looked over it, I went with my book to where the body lay.
It presented a yet more hideous spectacle than it had the night before.
I read the service and closed the book. "What can I do?" thought I. "I
cannot bury him in the guano. It will be impossible to carry the body
over these rocks." Indeed, if it had been possible, I do not think I
could have touched it. I was afraid of it. At last I determined that I
would cover it up with the fragments of rocks which lay about in all
directions, and I did so. This occupied me about two hours, and then,
carrying the bottles with me, I gladly hastened away from the spot,
with a resolution never to revisit it. I felt quite a relief when I was
once more in the cabin. I was alone, it was true, but I was no longer
in contact with the dead. I could not collect my thoughts or analyse my
feelings during the remainder of the day. I sat with my head resting on
my hand, in the attitude of one thinking; but at the same time my mind
was vacant. I once more lay down to sleep, and the following morning I
found myself invigorated, and capable of acting as well as thinking. I
had a weight upon my spirits which I could not at first account for;
but it arose from the feeling that I was now alone, without a soul to
speak to or communicate with; my lips must now be closed till I again
fell in with some of my fellow-creatures--and was that likely? We had
seen some of them perish not far from us, and that was all, during a
period of many years.