"Oh, Mr Bayle, I am so sorry!"
He looked piteously in the handsome pale young face before him, his
heart sinking, and a feeling of misery, such as he had never before
known, chilling him so that he strove in vain to speak.
The words were not cruel, they were not marked with scorn or contempt.
There was no coquetry--no hope. They were spoken in a voice full of
gentle sympathy, and there was tender pity in every tone, and yet they
chilled him to the heart.
"Oh, Mr Bayle, I am so sorry!"
It needed no look to endorse those words, and yet it was there, beaming
upon him from those sweet, frank eyes that had filled again with tears
which she did not passionately dash aside, but which brimmed and softly
dropped upon the hands she clasped across her breast.
He saw plainly enough that it had all been a dream, his dream of love
and joy; that he had been too young to read a woman's heart aright, and
that he had taken her little frank kindnesses as responses to his love;
and he needed no explanations, for the tones in which she uttered those
words crushed him, till as he stood before her in those painful moments,
he realised that the deathblow to all his hopes had come.
He sank back in his chair as she stood before him, gazing up at her in
so boyish and piteous a manner that she spoke again.
"Indeed, indeed, Mr Bayle, I thought our intimacy so pleasant, I was so
happy with you."
"Then I may hope," he cried passionately. "Millicent, dear Millicent,
all my life has been spent in study; I have read so little, I never
thought of love till I saw you, but it has grown upon me till I can
think only of you--your words, the tones of your voice, your face, all
are with me always, with me now. Millicent, dear Millicent, it is a
man's first true love, and you could give me hope."
"Oh, hush! hush!" she said gently, as she held out her hand to him,
which he seized and covered with his kisses, till she withdrew it
firmly, and shook her head. "I am more pained than I can say," she said
softly. "I tell you I never thought of such a thing as this."
"But you will," he said, "Millicent, my love!"
"Mr Bayle," she said, with some attempt at firmness, "if I have ever by
my thoughtlessness made you think I cared for you, otherwise than as a
very great friend, forgive me."
"A friend!" he cried bitterly.
"Yes, as a friend. Is friendship so slight a thing that you speak of it
like that?"
"Yes," he cried; "at a time like this, when I ask for bread and you give
me a stone."
"Oh, hush!" she said again softly; and there was a sad smile through her
tears. "I should be cruel if I did not speak to you plainly and firmly.
Mr Bayle, what you ask is impossible."
"You despise me," he cried passionately, "because I am so boyish--so
young."
"No," she said gently, as she laid her hand upon his shoulder. "Let me
speak to you as an elder sister might."
"A sister!" he cried angrily.
"Yes, as a sister," replied Millicent gently. "Christie Bayle, it was
those very things in you that attracted me first. I never had a
brother; but you, with your frank and free-hearted youthfulness, your
genuine freshness of nature, seemed so brotherly, that my life for the
past few months has been brighter than ever. Our reading, our painting,
our music--Oh, why did you dash all these happy times away?"
"Because I am not a boy," he cried angrily; "because I am a man--a man
who loves you. Millicent, will you not give me hope?"
There was a pause, during which she stood gazing right over his head as
he still sat there with outstretched hands, which he at last dropped
with a gesture of despair.
"No," she said at last; "I cannot give you hope. It is impossible."
"Then you love some one else," he cried with boyish anger. "Oh, it is
cruel. You led me on to love you, and now, in your coquettish triumph,
you throw me aside for some other plaything of the hour."
Millicent's brow contracted, and a half-angry look came into her eyes.
"This talk to me of brotherly feeling and of being a sister, is it to
mock me? It is as I thought," he cried passionately, "as I have heard,
with you handsome women; you who delight in giving pain, in trifling
with a weak, foolish fellow's heart, so that you may bring him to your
feet."
"Christie--"
"No," he raged, as he started to his feet, "don't speak to me like that.
I will not be led on again. Enjoy your triumph, but let it be made
bitter by the knowledge that you have wrecked my life."
"Oh, hush! hush! hush!" she said softly. "You are not yourself,
Christie Bayle, or you would not speak to me like this. You know that
you are charging me with that which is not true. How can you be so
cruel?"
"Cruel? It is you," he cried passionately. "But, there, it is all
over. I shall leave here at once. I wish I had never seen the town."
"Christie," she said gently, "listen to me. Be yourself and go home,
and think over all this. I cannot give you what you ask. Come, be wise
and manly over this disappointment. Go away for a week, and then come
back to me, and let our pleasant old friendship be resumed. You give me
pain, indeed you do, by this outburst. It is so unlike you."
"Unlike me? Yes, you have nearly driven me mad."
"No, no. No, no," she said tenderly. "Be calm. Indeed and indeed, I
have felt as warm and affectionate to you of late as a sister could feel
for a brother. I have felt so pleased to see how you were winning your
way here amongst the people; and when I have heard a light or
contemptuous utterance about you, it has made me angry and ready to
speak in your defence."
"Yes, I know," he cried; "and it is this that taught me that you must
care for me--must love me."
"Cannot a woman esteem and be attached to a youth without loving him?"
"Youth! There! You treat me as if I were a boy," he cried angrily.
"Can I help seeming so young?"
"No," she said, taking his hand, "But you are in heart and ways very,
very young, Christie Bayle. Am I to tell you again that it was this
brought about our intimacy, for I found you so fresh in your young
manliness, so different to the gentlemen I have been accustomed to?
Come: forget all this. Let us be friends."
"Friends? No, it is impossible," he cried bitterly. "I know I am
boyish and weak, and that is why you hold me in such contempt."
"Contempt? Oh, no!"
"But, some day," he pleaded, "I'll wait--any time--"
"No, no, no," she said flushing, "it is impossible."
"Then," he raged as he started up, "I am right. You love some one else.
Who is it? I will know."
"Mr Bayle!"
There was a calm queenly dignity in her look and words that checked his
rage; and she saw it as he sank into the nearest chair, his face bent
down upon his hands, and his shoulders heaving with the emotion that
escaped now and then in a hoarse sob.
"Poor boy!" she said to herself as the indignation he had roused gave
way to pity.
"Christie Bayle," she said aloud, as she approached him once more, and
laid her hand upon his shoulder.
"Don't touch me," he cried hoarsely as he sprang up; and she started
back, half frightened at his wild, haggard face. "_I_ might have
known," he panted. "Heaven forgive you! Good-bye--good-bye for ever!"
Before Millicent could speak he had reached the door, and the next
minute she heard his hurried steps as he went down the street.