“When aw wur a lad—(but that wurnt yusterday, nor th’
day before, nor any day last wick)—aw used to be trayted
neaw and then to wot wur cawd a good ghost story. Owd foak
then wur vast fond o’ ticklin’ yung foaks’ yers wi’ tales
abeawt hobgoblins, ghosts, carnivorous giants, vampyres,
ogres, un aw macks o’ uncouth beeins. Aw railly believe they
thowt sitch tales wur profitable, morally un’ religiously
speighkin’, un’ had little thowt abeauwt th’ uproar ’ut they
caused amung eawr juvenoile nerves. Weel con aw remember
beein’ neaw un then freetunt till it wur th’ herdest job i’
th’ world to keep my heart fro’ other roisin’ up into my
meawth, or skutterin’ deawn in t’ clugs. My yure would ha’
stood up loike th’ bristles uv a dleetin’ brush, un’ th’
best com ut ever wur made would ha’ fawn a victim to any
attempt to smooth it deawn to its gradely place; nay, aw
believe if anybuddy had tried wi’ a par o’ curlin’ tungs to
make it twist, they’d ha’ brokken um loike owd chips. These
tales gien me no partikilur noshun as to wot ghosts wur;
praps th’ tellers had no very clear ideo theirsels; but aw
geet o sort uv a general inklin’ ’ut they wur a very quare,
a very extriordinary, un a very wilful set o’ beeins; some
on um vast fond uv a toidy practical joke; un aw on um i’
their element when they wur potterin’ foaks’ plucks to make
eawt wot the dickens they meant by their merlocks.
“For some days th’ good foaks o’th’ city o’ Manchester have
had before their een uppo’ th’ waws, un’ i’th’ shop windows,
bills printed i’ black un flarin’ red ink, th’ letters
big enoof welly for a bloint chap to see, anneawncin’ at
th’ Lunnun New Music Haw th’ appearance uv a ‘Mervellous
Ghost’—_King’s_ Ghost! as a roival to that uv
Professor Pepper. Loike aw curious foak ’ut are made hongry
wi’ expectashun, aw went th’ other neet to have a look at
it, imaginin’, as aw went alung through th’ streets, that at
last aw should get a peep at a spectre uz would carry back
my moind to my yung days, un gie me some inseet into th’
naytur and essence uv sperrits—not sitch as one beighs at
th’ keawnter uv a _vault_, but sitch as proceed fro’
th’ clay tenement that lies, moshunless, decayin’ within.
Aw durnt know but aw felt a little bit sayrious too, un’ a
tunchy bit groiped wi’ fear, for it met be that th’ seet
would be made doubly awful by th’ appearance uv my gronny’s
ghost; if it wur, un hoo seed me, hoo’d be shure t’ gie me
a blisterin wi’ hur tung, for hoo wur a raddler at takkin’
th’ sheighne eawt on me wi’ that glib little member uv hus.
But when th’ ghost did appear—or _should_ have appeart
in its full proposhuns, by th’ mack aw fun’ mysel as far fro
th’ possesshun uv a genuine crumb o’ ghostly wisdum uz ever
aw wur i’ my born days. It should ha’ bin an illustrious
ghost—no less a chap than Owd Hamlet, th’ suvverin uv
anyshunt Denmark; un’ theerefore a rail _King’s_ ghost
(beawt patent). But that may akeawnt fer its peevishness,
its tricks, un’ its uncommon way o’ introducin’ itsel’. It
wouldn’t appear aw at wonst; at fust it showed its yed;
then, giving itsel’ a wry neck, it lugged in its showders un
its breast; then it disappeart, un’ shortly begun to ascend
wi’ its legs un’ feet, or else a pair uz it had borrowed
fro’ a nayburin’ corpse, uppermost; un’ when it had getten
so far in seet as its sternum, it flittert abeawt in an
ungrayshus manner, as if tryin’ to doance th’ Cure on its
yed. Praps it wur _because_ it wur a _King’s_
ghost that it wur so wilful, un’ tried to be so unnatural in
its ways, for some o’ th’ owd kings wur rum jockies, un’,
for owt we know, owd Hamlet met be loike owd George Thard,
who, Byron says, geet into heaven by mistake, wi’ his yed
under his arm, not havin’ any use for it in a place wheere
good thowts un good principles are alone acceptable. Owd
Hamlet met be labburin’ under an idea that Lankishire wur a
place in which a chap would be uv as mitch service to his
felly crayturs when stonnin’ on his yed as when reort up i’
th’ ushual style on his feet.
“This ghostly bizness is cawd an ‘optical illushun.’
Shouldn’t it be cawd an ‘optical _delushun_’? Aw know
aw never seed as monny pairs o’ optics so noicely chetted as
there wur on this occashun. Professor Buck’s kunjurashuns
we know beforehond are nowt but decepshuns; but aw’ll be
flogged if i’th’ way o’ bamboozlin’ one’s wits, un’ makin
th’ sense uv seet counifogle aw eawr other senses, he isn’t
far ayed o’ King’s ghost—a very prince besoide a regilur
muff.
“Neaw Pepper’s ghosts, they say, are genuine, are wot
they’re professed to be—foine specimens uv wot true science
un’ profershunal skill con accomplish. When aw th’ whole
bevy o’ King’s ghosts are _mustert_, they’re not, placed
alungsoide o’ one _Pepper_, wuth so mitch as a pinch o’
_sawt_; though, by th’ way ’at they try to catch owd
brids, they met have a lerge stock on hond o’ th’ latter
herticle.
“But, moind yoa, aw dunnot blame Mestur Harwood, th’ lesse
o’ th’ Haw. Now, not I; he, aw understond, has been done as
weel, nay to a bigger tune, than th’ public; un’ that he’s
doubly vext to think that he should, aimin’ at producin’
every novelty ’ut’s wuth presentin’ to th’ public, pay his
good money for a bad ghost! Un’ to aw th’ professhunals
engaged at th’ establishment it mun be awfully mortifyin’;
for wot gives ’um th’ horrors mooar than an ominous
convicshun that th’ _ghost winnot wawk_? Heawever, if
awm reetly informt, King’s ghost is to vanish, un’ Pepper’s
is to appear in its place. This shows a determinashun not to
be done wi’ a pousy Jack-o-lantern.
“By th’ _Music Haw Journal_ aw see too that Stead, th’
original Cure, un’ Mestur Ware, th’ author uv so monny comic
sungs, are to appear next wick. Booath o’ theese chaps aw
seed i’ Lunnun, when aw went to look at th’ Eggsibishun;
un’, my word, if they dunnot make Lankishire foak lowf
away aw unpleasant dreoms, un’ shift aw th’ bile left by
th’ ghost, awm no judge, that’s aw! So, there’s no need to
despair. As Shakspere says, ‘Shadows avaunt!’ un’ make way
for substanshul entertainments.—Yours gradely,
“August 7, 1863. KIT SKEWIFT.”
Towards the end of May, 1863, the audiences increased enormously at
the Royal Polytechnic, so that it became necessary to have a select
afternoon performance, the admission fee being raised from 1s. to
2s. 6d. on Saturday mornings only. It was at this period that I was
honoured with a visit from their Royal Highnesses the Prince and
Princess of Wales and suite; and after the performance had been
witnessed by them, I showed the Prince and Princess how the ghost was
raised, and explained to my distinguished audience all the machinery
and appliances used. Some of the suite amused the Prince by becoming
ghosts, and the following notice appeared the next morning in the
_Times_, May 20th, 1863:—
“Yesterday morning, by special command, Professor
Pepper had the honour of delivering his ghost lecture
before their Royal Highnesses the Prince and Princess
of Wales, and the Prince and Princess Louis of Hesse,
who were attended by the Countess of Macclesfield,
Baroness Von Schenck, Major Teesdale, and Captain
Westerweller. The distinguished party were received by
Professor Pepper, and after being conducted round the
galleries passed to the large theatre, where a commodious
Royal box had been prepared for their reception. At the
conclusion of the lecture, by the invitation of Professor
Pepper, they went behind the scenes, and examined with
much interest the machinery and appliances for producing
the Polytechnic ‘ghost.’ At the conclusion, their Royal
Highnesses graciously thanked the directors of the institution,
and after shaking hands with Professor Pepper,
retired.”—_The Times, May 20th, London, England._
“The ghosts of the Polytechnic, which manifest themselves
as a startling appendix to Mr. Pepper’s ‘Strange
Lecture’ on optical illusions, have proved singularly attractive,
and when the hour arrives for their appearance the
lecture room becomes as crowded as the pit of a theatre on
the night of Boxing-day.”—_(Second Notice), The Times, Jan.
20th, London, England._
The real element of success in the production of “The Strange Story,”
however, must be assigned to the ghost.
So many base and servile imitators now appeared with a sorry imitation
of the Polytechnic ghost that it became necessary to send the following
advertisement to all the London papers:—