It is noticeable that these love-poems are all by females, and most
frequently by deserted females. This does not speak well for the
gallantry or constancy of the men. Perhaps they lacked those qualities
to offset the feminine lack of coyness. In the first of our Maori
stories the maiden swims to the man, who calmly awaits her, playing
his horn. In the second, a man is simultaneously proposed to by two
girls, before he has time to come off his perch on the tree. This
arouses a suspicion which is confirmed by E. Tregear's revelations
regarding Maori courtship _(Journ. Anthrop. Inst_., 1889):
"The girl generally began the courting. I have often
seen the pretty little love-letter fall at the feet of
a lover--it was a little bit of flax made into a sort
of half-knot--'yes' was made by pulling the knot
tight--'no' by leaving the matrimonial noose alone.
Now, I am sorry to say, it is often thrown as an
invitation for love-making of an improper character.
Sometimes in the _Whare-Matoro_ (the wooing-house), a
building in which the young of both sexes assemble for
play, songs, dances, etc., there would be at stated
times a meeting; when the fires burned low a girl would
stand up in the dark and say, 'I love So-and-so, I want
him for my husband,' If he coughed (sign of assent), or
said 'yes' it was well; if only dead silence, she
covered her head with her robe and was ashamed. This
was not often, as she generally had managed to
ascertain (either by her own inquiry or by sending a
girl friend) if the proposal was acceptable. On the
other hand, sometimes a mother would attend and say 'I
want So-and-so for my son.' If not acceptable there was
general mocking, and she was told to let the young
people have their house (the wooing-house) to
themselves. Sometimes, if the unbetrothed pair had not
secured the consent of the parents, a late suitor would
appear on the scene, and the poor girl got almost
hauled to death between them all. One would get a leg,
another an arm, another the hair, etc. Girls have been
injured for life in these disputes, or even murdered by
the losing party."