_How he hired himself to the justice,
and what pranks he played while with him._
The justice at this time being without a man, and finding Tom to be a
lively fellow, asking him, if he would serve him. Yes, quoth Tom, for
I am a great many miles from the country. As soon as they had agreed
for wages, Tom was immediately entertained: But he had not liv'd long
there before the justice and his family was obliged to go to London,
leaving no body at home but Tom. Now in the justices absence, an
officer brought a lusty young woman and a little man with a complaint;
so they knocked at the door, and Tom let them in; then placing himself
in his master's chair, he asked the woman what she had to say, who told
him that the man whom she had brought before him had lain with her by
force. Adzooks, quoth Tom, is it possible that such a little fellow
as this could force such a strapping dame as you, Alas! Sir, said
she, although he is little he is strong. Well, little whipper-snapper,
quoth Tom, what do you say to this; He replied, Like your worship it is
false what she says; the truth is this: I have been at sea, and coming
ashore, where I received my pay, I met with this woman, and agreed
with her for half a crown, and when it was over, I pull'd out my purse
to pay her honestly what I had agreed for; but she seeing that I had
a considerable sum of money, contrary to our bargain, would force me
to give her ten shillings, and because I would not, she has brought
me before your worship. Have you got that purse of money? quoth Tom:
Yes, Sir, said the seaman. Give it into my hand said Tom. He receives
it, and turning to the woman, said, Here take it and get about your
business. She replied, I thank your worship you are an honest good man,
and have done me justice. The little seaman the meanwhile wrung his
hands and bitterly cried out, I am ruined, for it is every penny I had
in the world. Well, quoth Tom, haste after her, and take it from her
again. According to Tom's order he runs after her, and when he came
after her he said, I must, and will have my purse again: Then she fell,
about his ears and cuft him; nay this did not satisfy her, but she
dragged him back again to Tom, who sat as justice, and told him, that
the fellow followed her for the purse, which he in justice gave her.
Well, said Tom, and has he go it? No, said she, I think not, before
he should take it from me, I'd tear out both his eyes. Let me see it
again, says Tom: She gives it to him. Is all the money in it? quoth
he: Yes, Sir, said she every penny. Why then, said he, here little
whipper-snapper, take your purse again; and as for you, Mrs. Impudence,
had you defended your honesty as well as you did the money, I never had
been troubled with this complaint. Here, Mr. Constable, give her an
hundred lashes at the town's whipping-post: which was accordingly done,
and Tom was applauded for his just proceedings.