_How Tom rode a Gossipping._
Tom heard of a company of women that would meet at the place a
house-warming, to welcome one of the house. These women had formerly
abused Tom, and now he thought to be even with them, so he goes to
an apothecary's shop, buys a pound of purging comfits, and puts them
in a cake with other spices, and dresses himself in women's apparel,
and gets a horse and a pannel, and to the house he comes, knocks at
the door, and asked the maid, whether there were many women, came a
house-warming? The maid said, Not yet: I pray says Tom, take this cake,
and if I come not at the meeting, let them eat it and be merry; for I
must go to a woman that is ready to lie down, and away he goes. The
women came, and wondered what woman it should be that left that cake;
some of them supposed that it was some midwife: They staid a while,
and the person they expected to be with them not coming, they fell
to their meat, and at last to the cake. But it was not long in their
bellies before it began to work, so that one must go to stool, another
to vometing, and all of them were so sick, that the smell of them
perfumed the house, and the breath of them was so strong, that none
could endure it: In which time Tom shifts himself into man's apparel,
and with a staff in his hand, came where his gossips were, and hearing
them groaning all the house over, opened the door and asked them what
was the matter? They answered, they were all poisoned. Marry, quoth
Tom, I hope not, if you please to let me have a horse, I will ride
to Mr. Doctor's and fetch an antidote to expel the poison. Take my
horse, quoth one; take my horse, said another; or mine, said a third.
Well, well, said Tom, I will take one. And into the stable he goes,
and takes three horses, and to the doctor's he rides, and told him,
that all the people of such a house had eaten something that hindred
them from going to stool; and prayed him that he would without delay,
carry them some Glysters; and that they had sent a horse for him and
another for his man. The doctor, greedy of money, hasted thither with
his glyster-pipes as fast as the horses could carry him and his man;
but the doctor no sooner came into the house, but he smell'd there was
no need of glysters. In the mean time Tom told not only all he met
with, that there were such women met to be merry at such a place; and
not only they, but all the women of the house were poisoned but went
likewise to their husbands, and told them the like; so that all the
people thereabouts repaired thither; which made the women so ashamed,
that they knew not which way to look, because all that saw them judged
they were drunk; so that instead of comforting them, which they
expected, they fell a reviling them; the women also fell to scolding
among themselves, and would have fought, had not their husbands parted
them, by carrying them home.