a room in which his mother and sisters were having an animated
discussion. The appellation "eavesdropper" did not disconcert him in
the least. On the contrary, he undertook to justify his conduct on
the ground that he was being discussed, and as he had no
"dictagraph" he was obliged to do the listening in person. The fact
that the dictagraph had been so frequently used for getting
information that was later used in court was to him a sufficient
justification of his conduct.
It is well known that all children pass through the stage
illustrated by these cases, in which they have the savage's
conception of right and wrong. For most children the difference
between going to the reformatory or jail and turning out decent men
and women is one of wholesome and sympathetic environment. Undue
severity, no less than bad example, confirms many a youth in these
habits--which should represent but a passing stage in his
development.
Adults should not read their own ideas of morality into the acts of
their children and then catalogue them as right or wrong. Most
children's acts are neither right nor wrong: they are merely
expressions of feelings and ideas peculiar to the stage of
development. With young children ideas of right and wrong divide
themselves into acts which are permitted and those which are
forbidden. They have no conception of right and wrong beyond that.
Many an act that a boy commits, which we consider wrong, is but the
expression of the instincts of his age. Our duty consists in helping
him to pass through that stage without making permanent habits of
these temporary impulses. This help must not be given through
branding the acts as wicked or criminal, nor is moralizing itself
generally effective. Help must come through providing adequate
opportunities for play and games and work that will use up surplus
energy both of mind and body. Above all, help must come through the
healthy examples and the constant manifestation of high ideals in
the home.
Every normal child will in time respond to these influences. There
are, unfortunately, some children that will not develop beyond this
stage of primitive, savage instincts; but such abnormal children are
rare and we cannot deal with them here.
With the problem of reasoning, then, as with all other aspects of
child training, it is a question of understanding, of being in close
relations with one's children, and being able to fathom the workings
of their minds.
IX.
WORK AND PLAY
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And it is this same lack
of play that produces so many dull men and women; for the spirit of
play is the spirit of youth and spontaneity and joy. Yet work and
play have so much in common that it seems unfortunate indeed that
all of us have not learned to retain our youth when work becomes
necessary.
I trust that there are few to-day who still believe that play is
wicked. If we desire our children to grow up into healthy and joyful
and moral men and women, then must we consider play a necessity of
life. For play is more than merely a pleasant means for passing the
time; it is a school of life, it is a means for physical, mental,
and moral education.
The young child, before he is old enough to play horse, or to
imitate other activities he sees going on around him, gets his play
from handling a rattle or a ball, from random movements of his legs
and arms, or from playing with his fingers and his toes. He derives
satisfaction from the sensations of touch and sight and sound, as
well as from the feeling of freedom and the sensation of his active
muscles. But this infantile play is not only satisfying to the
child; it is a means for learning the use of his little hands and
arms and legs. When the baby learns to crawl, and later to walk, he
derives pleasure from the exercise of his newly-acquired arts, and
at the same time attains perfection in the use of his limbs and in
the correlation of his muscles. He is also gaining strength with his
growth, for these muscles will not gain in strength unless they are
exercised. Of course, the child does not know about these advantages
of play; but the mother should know and give the growing child every
opportunity to exercise himself in every possible way; for thus
alone can he gain in strength, in endurance, and in confidence.
When the child is a little older his play takes on new forms, for he
is now deliberately _making_ things: the chairs become wagons
and animals, the corner of the room may be made into a lake, a
pencil or a button-hook is quite long enough for a fishing pole, and
a handful of beans may be converted into all kinds of merchandise,
coins for barter, a flock of birds, or seaside pebbles. That is, as
the child's experience broadens, he finds more to imitate, he
exercises his imagination more, and combines into more complex plays
the materials he finds about him. But all the time the child is
_working_, as much so as an artisan at his task; and all the
time the child is _learning_, more rapidly probably than if he
were at school; and all the time the child is _playing_, that
is, enjoying the outlet of his impulses.
[Illustration: Work is play.]
Play has been called the ideal type of exercise, because it is the
kind of exercise that occupies the whole child, his mental as well
as his physical side--and later, also, the moral side. In play the
exercise is regulated by the interests, so that, while there may be
extreme exertion, there is not the same danger of overstrain as is
possible with work that he is forced to do. In play the exercise is
carried on with freedom of the spirit, so that the flow of blood and
the feeling of exhilaration make for health.
When children begin to play at work their activities are not
entirely imitative, although the kind of work they choose will be
determined by the kinds of activities that go on about them. The
child has real interests in work; and these should be encouraged and
cultivated. The chief interest is, perhaps, the growing sense of
mastery over the materials which the child uses. He can make blocks
take on any form he pleases; although the first houses he tries to
build are apt to be just a random piling of his material, there
follows a growing deliberation and planning, so that he comes at
last to make what he has _intended_ to make, and not merely
produce an accidental result.
The earlier plays of the child are not at all in the nature of
games; there is not at first the need for a companion. There is no
special order in which the various acts of his play have to be
carried out. When he plays horse on a stick, or is a parade all by
himself, or plays house in the corner, a few simple movements are
repeated until the child is tired of them, or until something occurs
to shift his interest. Nor is there in these early plays a special
point that marks the end of the interest. In games, however, these
three factors are always present: it takes two or more to play a
game; there is a definite order or succession of events, and there
is a definite finish or climax. And as we watch the children at
their games we can see their whole mental and moral development
unfold before us, for nothing is more characteristic of a child's
stage of development than the games in which he is interested.
While we are content to let the younger children play as much as
they like--because very often the more they play, the less they
annoy us--we are all inclined to expect of the older children an
increasing share of work and a declining interest in play. Some of
us are even inclined to discourage the play instinct as the children
grow older, because we have come to think of play as something not
only frivolous and useless, but even a harmful waste of time. Now,
the educational value of play keeps pace with the development of the
child. That is to say, the child outgrows interest in games about as
fast as these lose their educational value. The new games that the
child takes up year after year always have something new to teach
him.
[Illustration: Let them romp in winter as well as in summer.]
The plays of the early period develop his sense perceptions, they
give practice in seeing and hearing and touching with quick
discernment. Then for four or five years play gives increased
mastery of the child's own body, and over the objects and materials
with which he plays. Running and jumping are for skill and for
speed; the competitive instincts drive each to do the best he can
for himself. Later the games give exercise in the adjustment of the
child not only to his material surroundings, but also to other
children; in other words, he learns to take his place among other
human beings. From the games in which the children take their turns
at some activity the timid child learns that he has equal rights
with others, and acquires self-confidence; whereas the child
disposed to be overbearing learns the equally necessary lesson that
others have rights which he must respect. Every child learns from
these games how to be a good loser as well as how to be a good
winner. Just those qualities that make an adult an agreeable
associate in business or in social dealings are brought out by these
games as they can be by no ordinary form of work which the children
have a chance to do.
It is only in very recent times that we have begun to notice that
the work required of the children in the schools is of a kind that
either ignores the development of the social instincts or actually
hinders them, so that the moral or social effect of successful
school work is frequently very undesirable. When a child is set to
do some work by himself, even if the work is not too difficult for
him, there is no exercise for the social instinct, and the work must
be very interesting indeed to hold his continued attention. As the
child grows older there is increasing need for social stimulation of
the cooperative kind and less of the emulative kind. Where the
experiment has been tried of having the children approach their
school work as they approach a game, with the feeling of getting at
an interesting goal, with opportunities for each to do his best for
the whole group and to help the others, the work becomes as
interesting as a game, and acquires the same educational value as a
good game well played. In the home we might often get the necessary
work done with more expedition and with better spirit if we
recognized the child's need of constant outlet for his emotions, and
if we recognized the depressing effect of routine and solitude and
monotony. One of the chief reasons why working girls prefer to go to
shops and factories, as against domestic service, lies just in this
natural instinct for society. The work of the household has much
more variety than the work of a factory; but most of it has to be
done in solitude, without the stimulation that comes from the
companionship of others doing the same thing, or at least working
within reach of the voice.
[Illustration: In their games they should learn to lose as well as
to win.]
The truly wonderful transformations in character that have been
worked in girls and in boys by means of well-organized play have
taught us the moral value of team-work for the older children. In
these games, which come at a period when the child has already
acquired considerable skill and strength, the chief interest is in
doing the best for the team, so that the individual learns the
importance of subordinating himself to a common purpose. He learns
the joy of contributing his best to his "side" without considering
his individual glory or gains. In this way he acquires that negative
but very important side of self-control which consists in the
ability to _avoid_ doing what the impulse would drive him to.
He learns also the importance of dreary drudgery, in his practice
work, for acquiring special skill, and a boy will spend hours in
such dull practice, animated by the desire not to excel some other
individual, but by the desire to help his team win. He learns not
only to take his place in the game, but to judge his companions by
their special ability and by their value to the group, rather than
by clothes or personal feelings or other outward and incidental
facts. All these things the team game teaches as no mere
_instruction_, whether in school or home, can teach.
We have learned from the results of these play activities with all
kinds of children in the city and in the country, of rich and of
poor, that the spirit of the game is not only capable of stimulating
the growing boy and girl to a tremendous amount of exertion, but
also of organizing his or her feelings and ideals into effective
moral and social standards. And when the same spirit is applied to
work, we can get the same valuable educative results, with the
addition of a higher appreciation of work as work than usually comes
from an early experience with doing necessary but disagreeable
tasks. For example, in one city the shop work of classes of boys was
organized on a cooperative basis. The boys worked in teams for the
making of desks or cabinets. The results, as measured by finished
product or by the quality of the workmanship, were far ahead of what
the same instructors could get from the same boys when the attempt
was made to stimulate the workers by means of prizes and individual
rewards. Children can learn to work together as well as to play
together. If you have noticed that two workers very often do half as
much work in a given time as one worker, it is because they have not
learned to work together--they have been denied the opportunity of
learning this, and now take occasion, when they do get together, to
do almost everything but work.
There are many opportunities in the ordinary household to teach
girls and boys to do useful work in a spirit very similar to that
which they put into their games. It may not be possible to make all
the necessary work as interesting as games, but the remoter purpose
of the work, whether it is to accomplish something whose need is
recognized by the child, or the hope of some reward, should make for
close attention to the task in hand. For example, after a certain
age, sweeping and other household tasks lose their play interest;
but if the girl has become skilful enough to do the sweeping without
tiring, her recognition of the necessity of the work or her thought
of what she wants to do when the task is accomplished should make it
possible to get through with this work without a feeling of
hardship. Some educators approve of allotting definite tasks to the
girls and boys, and compensating them in definite amounts. This
gives them not only a measure of the value of their service, but
makes them feel the responsibility of each contributing toward the
maintenance of the establishment. The main thing is that the
children shall not look upon work as a cruel imposition; and to this
end we should develop the spirit of helpfulness and cooperation--and
to transfer this spirit, already developed in play, to the work that
has to be accomplished.
One form of the expression of the play instinct has come lately to
arouse a great deal of public interest, and that is the dance. Books
have been written about the history of the dance, the esthetics of
the dance, the technique of the dance, the symbolism of the dance,
and many other aspects. What concerns the parent chiefly is to know
that the dance is at once a healthful exercise, an important aid to
social adjustment, and a valuable safety-valve for the emotions.
With the rapid growth of our cities we have come suddenly to realize
that nearly half of the nation's children have no _place_ in
which to play, since the open fields and vacant lots have been
invaded by warehouses and factories and tenements. And so the
playground movement has gained rapid headway. Playgrounds have been
established, and placed in charge of competent and enthusiastic
leaders, who are teaching the children something they never should
have unlearned. But at the same time we are coming to realize that
the children in the country and in small towns, although they have
plenty of space, have not really had the opportunity to get the most
out of their play activities. It would seem that even the instinct
of play can be made to work to better purpose when it is
intelligently directed. It is our duty, then, to provide not only
play space and play time, but also play material and, where
possible, play direction. It is our further duty to keep alive in
ourselves, as far as possible, the spirit of play; for there is no
one thing that will do so much to keep us young and in sympathy with
our children as the ability to play as they play, and to play with
them.
Excepting only the infant when playing with his fingers and toes, the
child must play with some _person_ or with some _thing_. The selection
of suitable toys becomes a more serious problem than is commonly
realized, when we once recognize the great influence of play upon the
child.
Stepping into the toy shop, we are confronted by a multitude of
objects, the variety and quantity of which are distracting.
Everything that the ingenuity of man could devise is here presented
to our astonished eyes, and children gaze upon the great spectacle
and are delighted. If we go to the store just to be amused or to buy
_something_, a very indefinite something for a child of a
certain age, we are quickly satisfied. But if we have in our mind
some idea as to what is really good for the child who is to receive
the gift, it is just as hard to find the right thing to-day in the
immense, up-to-date toy store as in the little general store that
"also keeps toys." The manufacture of toys has grown to a tremendous
industry, but with no ideal behind it, no guiding educational
principle. Toys are made to sell,--having fulfilled that function
the manufacturer is not further concerned. Consequently, toys are
made to attract the eye; durability, use, and need from the child's
point of view are rarely considered.
In selecting toys we must not consider what would amuse or entertain
its, but solely the child's need, and this need will differ at the
various stages in his development.
[Illustration: Don't forget how to play with the children.]
For the little child who has no skill, we want to get toys that
exercise the large muscles; he should have blocks that are large. It
is a common mistake to suppose small toys are suitable for small
children; within certain limits just the opposite is true.
Young children can also use toys that merely need to be manipulated
without having much significance. Things that can be taken apart and
put together are enjoyed and are very instructive.
A child should get from his toys a bare suggestion of the object,
and not a lifelike representation that will be of interest to the
critical adult. Refinement of finish and realistic representation
are entirely wasted on the child. A massive wooden dog or bird is
better than a furry or feathery one. It is enough of a dog or bird,
so far as the child is concerned, and if it can stand rough
handling, so much the better. For the little boy or girl an animal
that can stand up or be drawn about by a string is quite
satisfactory; but before the age of three years is reached the
animal must have movable parts, so that it may be put into various
positions, be made "to do things."
At about three years of age the child also comes more and more to
see things in relation to each other and no longer as isolated
objects. At this time, if he has a cow, he wants also a stable in
which to keep her, the doll calls for a carriage and bed, and so on.
This is something to keep in mind in planning our purchases.
Children like to reproduce in their plays the processes which they
see going on around them or about which they hear. This is in a way
their preparation for the activities of adult life. If the little
boy or girl wants to play farm, or menagerie, or laundry, or grocery
store, it is not necessary to buy the whole outfit at once. The
child will probably not be ready for it, and if he gets more than he
can comfortably use, he will be overwhelmed and many objects are
likely to be neglected.
Let us say, for instance, that your little boy has received a
milk-cart and horse for his birthday and he has exhausted the
possibilities of play with them. Now here is Christmas, and you can
give him or make him a nice, substantial barn and someone else can
give him a cow. Immediately the possibilities for play are greatly
multiplied. He can take the cow to pasture, bring her into the barn to
be milked, take the milk to market and store away hay for the winter,
and so on indefinitely. In time he can have a well-equipped barnyard,
build pig-sties and chicken-coops with his blocks, and spend many
happy and instructive hours. A great advantage in having toys grouped
about some central idea is that several children can play at the same
time and each particular toy stays in use much longer than it would
otherwise.
I have spoken of your little boy as the manager of the toy farm, but
in these days, when women are entering every profession, there is no
reason to suppose that it is not your little girl who will need
those things. Still, although we know that, in spite of traditions,
little boys like to play with dolls and little girls like to play
with other things, we shall, for the sake of convenience, stick to
the traditions and discuss the little girl in connection with dolls.
There is nothing that will give your little daughter greater
pleasure and at the same time be more instructive than an
opportunity to run a whole doll house. By this I do not mean the
elaborate constructions that are sold in the large shops under that
name. No, a packing case, painted and divided into four parts, will
serve the purpose far better. Gradually the different rooms can be
furnished, and in the meantime there is plenty of fun and much
development in trying to maintain the family of dolls under pioneer
conditions, calling for all sorts of clever makeshifts.
There are numberless things that will go to make up the little
girl's doll house, and her activities can be extended over the
entire period during which she cares to play with dolls. At first
she will be satisfied with handling her baby and putting her to
sleep. Later she will want to dress and undress it. Before long she
will have a whole family of dolls and will want to prepare their
meals for them, sew and wash their clothes, and keep the house in
order. These growing needs on her part are just as real as the needs
adults feel, and it would be just as unwise to get her a new doll,
when she needs most of all a wash-boiler for her kitchen, as it
would be to buy for yourself a picture, when you really need a pair
of new spectacles.
All the different articles needed for the running of the doll's
house can now be bought separately. In buying the different
articles, the things to keep in mind are usability, simplicity, and
durability. The furniture that you buy or make must be able to serve
the ostensible purpose of doll's furniture. It is better to get one
chair that is of the right size for the doll, well proportioned and
strong enough to stand the handling of the owner, than a whole set
of "pretty" and flimsy and useless furniture that you can buy in a
gay box for the same price.
Of course, it is understood that the principles of usability,
simplicity, and durability apply to the dolls themselves. It is now
easy to obtain dolls with indestructible heads and with jointed
bodies made of durable material. The little baby will love the doll
with a felt head. It can stand being loved hard without losing some
of its features. To give a little girl a doll that is so finely
dressed and so daintily constructed that she is permitted to come
out of her box only on state occasions is a violation of every sound
principle of child training and fair dealing.
I have mentioned, as examples of the kind of toys that can be bought
singly and grouped about some central idea, the farm and the doll's
house, but, of course, there are many other things--railroads with
their equipment, dairies, stores of all kinds, etc.