For a long time the little book which we now offer to the public
has been wanted in the library of the fashionable world; the
customs, the etiquette, the different obligations which society
imposes upon those who live in its midst, change frequently, and
although the general principles are the same, although politeness
and civility are of all epoques and times, nevertheless there are
few persons so entirely at home in all the forms that they do not
on some occasion feel hesitation as to the proper manner of
conducting themselves.
Indeed, besides the broader and more essential rules of
politeness, there are certain conventionalities adopted by good
society, which, sanctioned by custom and absolute obligation,
cannot, without some good reason, be neglected by the truly polite
gentleman or lady. Every day the question is raised whether such
and such a custom is adopted, received, and proper; there will
constantly arise a doubt about the details of some ceremony, the
proper hour for some entertainment, the true etiquette for some
occasion. At such a time, there is a regret felt that there is not
at hand, in one's own library, a safe guide, an experienced
counsellor, who will answer such questions, so trifling in
appearance, so important in reality.
A breach of etiquette, an involuntarily omission of some point of
politeness, may often have a serious influence upon the future of
the perpetrator. None of these little details are to be scorned
they have each and every one a value.
It is to meet the want already mentioned that this little volume
has been prepared. It makes no claim to originality; but its aim
is to be perfectly reliable. English, French, and American
authorities of weight have been consulted, and nothing admitted
that was not sanctioned by experience and the customs of the best
society.
Books, it is very true, have been already written upon this
subject; but they are for the most part filled with useless
details, and often do not contain what is of most importance. The
aim of the Editor of the present work has been to avoid both
extremes, to select only what was useful, reliable, and well
established, and to reject only what was valueless or mere
repetition.
The subjects treated are all classed that they may have easy
reference, and admit of consultation at a moment's notice.
The little book goes forth with one pretension only, one ambition
alone--to be useful.