Mr. RIAZANOV, the successor to KAMENEFF, is now residing in Grosvenor
Street. Several readers have written to ask us how his name is
pronounced. Wrongly, we believe, in nine cases out of ten.
* * *
We have been given to understand that that versatile pair, the TWO
BOBS, are contemplating a tour of the music-halls in the mining
district, where they are sure to be given a rousing reception.
* * *
According to _The Evening News_ two miners recently played a quoit
match for a hundred pounds. In all probability they are now agitating
for the two shillings' increase to enable them to have a little side
bet.
* * *
"We cannot choose how we will be born," says a medical writer. No;
some are born poor and others are born into a miner's family.
* * *
"Where stands England to-day?" we are asked. While travelling in the
Tube we have often thought that most of it was standing on our feet.
* * *
"With the outgoing of September we face once more the month of
October, with its falling leaves and autumn gales," states a writer in
a daily paper. This, we understand, is according to precedent.
* * *
A Glamorgan collier, summoned for income-tax, stated that he earned
eleven pounds a week and wanted every penny of it. It is said that he
is saving up to buy a strike of his own.
* * *
A live frog is reported to have been found in a coal seam at a
Monmouthshire colliery. It seems to have been greatly concerned at
having missed the previous strike ballot.
* * *
With reference to Mr. SPENDER'S interview with Mr. LLOYD GEORGE
we regret that no mention is made of the exact date when the PRIME
MINISTER will declare the New World open.
* * *
Since it has been so well advertised we understand that the banned
poster, "The Unknown," is shortly to be renamed "The Very Well Known."
* * *
The EX-KAISER is reported to have made his will. He has bequeathed his
trial to his youngest grandson.
* * *
It is proposed to make Poole a first-class port, at a cost of
£3,750,000. We cannot help thinking that hidden away in some
Government office is a man who could do it at treble the cost.
* * *
A London firm of pastrycooks have purchased two obsolete tanks from
the Disposal Boards. They are said to make excellent utensils for
flattening pancakes.
* * *
A dainty little invention has just been tried by the Bolshevists,
which consists of a method whereby boiling water from the ship's
boiler can be pumped on to sailors who do not obey their officers.
It is said to be just the thing to keep their minds off the idea of
mutiny.
* * *
"I have all the qualifications for a post in some Government office,"
writes an Unemployed Ex-Soldier in a contemporary. It is to be hoped
that this drawback will be overlooked if his other disqualifications
are satisfactory.
* * *
Washable hats for boys is one of the new inventions at the Leather and
Shoe Trade Exhibition. Small boys are now going about in fear that the
next discovery will be a washable neck.
* * *
Six bandits entered the Central Café, New York, the other day and took
one thousand pounds from the diners. The ease with which they did it
suggests that they were mistaken for waiters.
* * *
A plumber in Aberdeen is giving lessons to a women's class in
knitting. It is said that his treatise on How to Crochet a Burst
Bath-Pipe is likely to become a standard work.
* * *
In taking away a safe containing six thousand pounds from a Fenchurch
Street office, burglars broke down a door with a thick glass panel.
The profession is of the opinion that the blame for this lies with the
firm. They had locked the door.
* * *
_The Daily Chronicle_ informs us that a New York couple who were
engaged in 1868 have just been married. But surely the wonder is that
they were not married long before.
* * *
A woman has told the medical officer of Burnham that rats so like the
poison being used that they come out of their holes for it while it is
being put down. We always make our rats stand up and beg for it.
* * *
A domestic servant was recently blown out of her mistress's house
through the too liberal use of paraffin whilst lighting fires.
Luckily, however, it was her day out, so no complications ensued.
* * *
On being asked his recipe for keeping young, a well-known physician
refused to reply. In view of the increasing number of precocious
authors, the question again arises, "Should a doctor tell?"
* * *
_The Daily Express_ states that there is "very little demand for
champagne to-day." We fancy this is due to the fact that a number of
people are saving up to buy coffee at Messrs. LYONS'.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE MORNING TOILET.
"OH, LOOK, MUMMY! THERE'S WILFRED DOING HIS HAIR FROM MEMORY."]
* * * * *
"THE PASSIONATE SPECTATOR."
We are asked to say that the above title of a book written by Miss
JANE BURR and published by Messrs. DUCKWORTH (it is described on the
wrapper as "an entirely unconventional novel founded on original and
ultra-modern views concerning life and marriage") has nothing to do
with our respected contemporary.
* * * * *
"GOVERNMENT'S STRIKING ATTITUDE. WAITING TILL THE CAR JUMBS?"
_Nigerian Pioneer_.
Personally we always try to get out when this seems to be imminent.
* * * * *