TOWARDS HISTRIONICS.

(_Under the guidance of Herr Goethemann._)

_Question._ Have you witnessed the performance of the Actor-manager?

_Answer._ No, but I have perused the tragedy of the Author-publisher.

_Q._ Is it a curtain-raiser?

_A._ No, but it is a hair-lifter, in three acts.

_Q._ How many are the persons of the drama?

_A._ Four.

_Q._ Of these, how many are objectionable?

_A._ Five.

_Q._ Kindly resolve this paradox.

_A._ All are objectionable that come on the stage, and one that

doesn't.

_Q._ You speak of the stage; where has the play been given?

_A._ Nowhere. It has not received a license.

_Q._ Is it the close season?

_A._ No, but so much private license was taken by the Author-publisher

that the public censor did not see his way to adding to the amount.

_Q._ Then we shall not see it interpreted by intelligent actors?

_A._ No, for even if license were granted, the Author-publisher would

take all the parts himself.

_Q._ I do not follow this scheme of plurality.

_A._ I quote from his own printed advertisement, "The right of

performing in public this play (_sic_) is reserved by the author."

_Q._ Did you state that it is a tragedy?

_A._ Yes, but inclining to farce.

_Q._ Does it move the reader to pity and terror?

_A._ Yes, both. Pity for himself, and terror of the next thing of the

kind that he may have to read.

_Q._ Has it any other of the high qualities of the Greek Tragedy?

_A._ It says it has the unities.

_Q._ A severe attack?

_A._ No, the Norwegian kind; a form of Teutonic measles, painful but

transitory.

_Q._ Is it heroic?

_A._ No, but it is suburban.

_Q._ Is the conclusion worthy of a great tragedy? Does it end in a

lurid light of whole-souled passion and death?

_A._ It ends about 4 A.M. the next day, with a cock crowing. The

protagonist has come home intoxicated, and remains so. I regret to

add that he pushes the heroine, she having displaced his beverage by

breaking the glass. She slaps him upon the face, and eventually loses

animation. I do not know how the other two end, because they were not

home in time for the curtain. As it was, the Author-publisher nearly

spoilt one of the unities through waiting for them.

_Q._ All must be well that ends so well. Is there a problem or enigma?

_A._ There is always the insoluble riddle--why did he write it?

_Q._ Is it full of situations?

_A._ Not inconveniently so; but there is a dramatic moment.

_Q._ Which?

_A._ I do not know.

_Q._ Then why do you say there is one?

_A._ Because the Author-publisher says so.

_Q._ But is it not wasteful to have three acts, and only one dramatic

moment?

_A._ I should have thought so; but the Author-publisher says he has

shown economy.

_Q._ Could you give me an idea of the manner? Select a striking

incident or a passage where there is subtle characterisation.

_A._ One situation impressed me very much. I think it must have been

the dramatic moment. I reserve it for my next.

(_To be continued._)

* * * * *

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 4th, 1895 · 第 14 / 35 题