(_WHAT THEY MAY COME TO._)
As the County Council now has power over the Tramways of London,
will you pledge yourself to see that smoking carriages, comfortable
cushions, waiting-rooms at street-corners, and constant civility, are
provided for passengers?
Will you abolish the irritating and nefarious Ticket System?
How long do you think it will be before the electric light is
universally established in the cars?
What is your view as to the provision of suitable places for wet
umbrellas?
Will you at once vote for "Free or Assisted Locomotion"?
If a wheel of your private carriage comes off owing to skidding in
the Tramway line, will you pledge yourself not to bring any claim for
compensation against the Rates?
Will you vote for the summary dismissal of any Conductor who proceeds
to count the passengers after being informed that he is "full inside"?
Is it a fact that you have promised to introduce "Pullman Palace
Restaurant Cars, with free lunches," on the Tram-lines? If so, do you
contemplate providing the cost out of your own resources, or how?
You state in your Address to the Electors that you "are desirous of
reducing the hours of Tram _employés_ to four a day, with two months'
holiday in the year, and of giving a general rise of wages up to
about £2 extra per week." Will you kindly say how you reconcile this
desire with your expressed intention to "run the concern on the most
economical plan, so as to save the pockets of the Ratepayers"?
It is reported that you have pledged yourself, if elected, to see
that the Tram Conductors "get their Saturday to Monday at Brighton as
a regular thing." How do you propose to carry out this part of your
programme?
Do you consider yourself justified, in face of the above statements,
in characterising the rival Candidate for the Council as "attempting
to catch the Labour Vote by an impudent combination of insincere
flattery, and fraudulent promises"?
* * * * *
[Illustration: MR. PUNCH ON TOUR. A REMINISCENCE OF THE RYDE SEASON.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A RECOMMENDATION.
_Dealer_. "NOW THERE'S HACTION FOR YOU, SIR! PUTS HER FEET DOWN AS IF
SHE WAS A STEPPIN' ON HEGGSHELLS, DON'T SHE, SIR?"]
* * * * *
"BELOW THE BELT!"
(_EXTRACTS FROM THE POLITICAL "FISTIANA" OF THE PERIOD._)
I.--_BY THE "BRUMMAGEM BANTAM" (AS REPORTED IN THE "INJUDICIOUS
BOTTLEHOLDER")._
"The 'Arwarden Old 'Un, Gemmen? Lor bless yer, _he_ ain't no account,
nohow. Can't 'it a 'ole in a pound o' butter, _'e_ can't. Allus _was_
a muff and a muddler; middling showy style, and a bit dodgy with his
dooks, but neither a slogger _nor_ a stayer, and, atween you and me
and the post, allus ready to hist the white feather when 'ard pressed.
Wot's that you say? _His_ 'Travelling Company'? A reglar swindle, and
a fair frost, Gemmen. Went 'round the country' on false purtences, and
never did no good nowheres. Awful poor lot o' Pugs, _that_ gang. Not
in it with the ''Atfield Combination Troupe,' as _can_ fight a bit,
and 'as some smart scrappers in it. No, Gemmen, the 'Old 'Un' _allus
were_ a fraud. Couldn't stand up to a Froggy, _'e_ couldn't. His
Company muddled the 'ole bag o' tricks, and made a hawful mess of it.
Ah, and _would_ agen, mark yer, if they got the chance. Should a'most
like to see 'em _'ave_ another shy, if only for the bloomin' fun o'
the thing; but it 'ud be a bit too expensive, and bring discredit on
our Noble Hart, besides."
(_Comments of the I.B.H. "Brayco, Brummagem Bantam! His style of
hitting is straight and smart, in the ring or out of it. Hope the
over-rated Hawardian Old 'Un and his Company relish the pepper
young JOE has administered to the shifty Veteran and his parasitic
'Items'!"_)