“—— where contradictions meet,
And jarring epithets and subjects greet.”
-----
On the motion to expel Lord Edward Fitzgerald from the House of Commons,
for hasty disrespectful expressions regarding the House and the Lord
Lieutenant, it was observable that the motion was violently supported by
the younger men then in Parliament; including the late Marquess of
Ormonde, &c. The marquess was, indeed, one of the strongest supporters
of a measure, the object of which was to disgrace a young nobleman, his
own equal: and it was likewise worthy of remark that the motion was
resisted by the steadiest and oldest members of the House, and by them
finally rejected.
Sir Boyle Roche laboured hard and successfully for Lord Edward, who was
eventually required to make an apology: it was not, however, considered
sufficiently ample or repentant. Sir Boyle was at his wits’ end, and at
length produced a natural syllogism, which, by putting the House in
good-humour, did more than a host of reasoners could have achieved. “Mr.
Speaker,” said the baronet, “I think the noble young man has no business
to make any apology.—He is a gentleman, and none such should be asked to
make an _apology_, because no _gentleman_ could _mean_ to _give
offence_!”
Dennis M‘Carthy, the postilion of Lord Lisle, had an action for crim.
con. brought against him by his master, and upon a very forced
construction of law in such cases, by the chief baron, the jury found
damages for 5000_l._ against Dennis.—He was of course sent to gaol; and
damages to that amount and of that nature excluding the debtor from the
benefit of the Insolvent Act, strong efforts were made in Parliament to
have Dennis included especially, by name, in the statute, he having
remained ten years in close confinement. His liberation was constantly
applied for, and as constantly rejected. Sir Boyle, as a last effort,
made a florid speech in his best style on behalf of the poor fellow,
arguing truly, “that Lady Lisle, and not Dennis, must have been the real
seducer;” and concluding thus:—“And what, Mr. Speaker, was this poor
servant’s crime? After all, sure, Mr. Speaker, it was only doing _his
master’s business by his mistress’s orders_! and is it not very hard to
keep a poor servant in gaol for that which if he had not done he would
have deserved a horsewhipping?” This way of putting the case had the
desired effect:—Dennis’s name was especially included by the Commons;
but in the House of Lords it was thrown out by Lord Clonmell, chief
justice, though two years had scarcely elapsed since his lordship
himself had fought a duel with the late Lord Tyrawley for crim. con.
with her ladyship.
Never was there a more _sensible blunder_ than the following. We
recommend it as a motto to gentlemen in the army. “The best way,” said
Sir Boyle, “to _avoid_ danger, is to _meet it plump_!”
Lord Townsend, when he went over as Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, was
greatly amused on entering the beautiful bay of Dublin. There are two
great and dangerous sand-banks to be encountered on entering the
harbour, with a small village close to them on the shore.
“What bank is that?” asked Lord Townsend.
“That’s the North _Bull_,” said the captain.
“And pray, what’s that _other_ bank?” inquired the Lord Lieutenant.
“That’s the _South Bull_, my lord,” answered the pilot.
“And what’s the name of that little village?”
“That’s _Ring’s-End_, your Excellency,” said the mate.
“What!” exclaimed Lord Townsend; “two _bulls_ and one _impossibility_ is
quite enough for one harbour! I think, if the _parliament_ is like the
_port_, I shall not find it easy to compose an _answer_ to its
_address_.”