Scene of the play, the parlor of a small private dwelling in a
village.
MARGARET. (_Discovered crocheting—has a pamphlet._)
MARGARET. (_Solus._) Dear, dear! it’s dreary enough, to have to study
this impossible German tongue: to be exiled from home and all human
society except a body’s sister in order to do it, is just simply
abscheulich. Here’s only three weeks of the three months gone, and it
seems like three years. I don’t believe I can live through it, and I’m
sure Annie can’t.
(_Refers to her book, and rattles through, several times, like one
memorizing_:) Entschuldigen Sie, mein Herr, können Sie mir vielleicht
sagen, um wie viel Uhr der erste Zug nach Dresden abgeht? (_Makes
mistakes and corrects them._) I just hate Meisterschaft! We may see
people; we can have society: yes, on condition that the conversation
shall be in German, and in German only—every single word of it! Very
kind—oh, very! when neither Annie nor I can put two words together,
except as they are put together for us in Meisterschaft or that idiotic
Ollendorff! (_Refers to book, and memorizes: Mein Bruder hat Ihren Herrn
Vater nicht gesehen, als er gestern in dem Laden des deutschen
Kaufmannes war._) Yes, we can have society, provided we talk German.
What would such a conversation be like! If you should stick to
Meisterschaft, it would change the subject every two minutes; and if you
stuck to Ollendorff, it would be all about your sister’s mother’s good
stocking of thread, or your grandfather’s aunt’s good hammer of the
carpenter, and who’s got it, and there an end. You couldn’t keep up your
interest in such topics. (_Memorizing: Wenn irgend möglich,—möchte ich
noch heute Vormittag dort ankommen, da es mir sehr daran gelegen ist,
einen meiner Geschäftsfreunde zu treffen._) My mind is made up to one
thing: I will be an exile, in spirit and in truth: I will see no one
during these three months. Father is very ingenious—oh, very! thinks he
is, anyway. Thinks he has invented a way to _force_ us to learn to speak
German. He is a dear good soul, and all that; but invention isn’t his
fash’. He will see. (_With eloquent energy._) Why, nothing in the world
shall—Bitte, können Sie mir vielleicht sagen, ob Herr Schmidt mit diesem
Zuge angekommen ist? Oh, dear, dear George—three weeks! It seems a whole
century since I saw him. I wonder if he suspects that I—that I—care for
him——j—just a wee, wee bit? I believe he does. And I believe Will
suspects that Annie cares for _him_ a little, that I do. And I know
perfectly well that they care for _us_. They agree with all our
opinions, no matter what they are; and if they have a prejudice, they
change it, as soon as they see how foolish it is. Dear George! at first
he just couldn’t abide cats; but now, why now he’s just all for cats; he
fairly welters in cats. I never saw such a reform. And it’s just so with
_all_ his principles: he hasn’t got one that he had before. Ah, if all
men were like him, this world would——(_Memorizing: Im Gegentheil, mein
Herr, dieser Stoff is sehr billig. Bitte, sehen Sie sich nur die
Qualität an._) Yes, and what did _they_ go to studying German for, if it
wasn’t an inspiration of the highest and purest sympathy? Any other
explanation is nonsense——why, they’d as soon have thought of studying
American history. (_Turns her back, buries herself in her pamphlet,
first memorizing aloud, until Annie enters, then to herself, rocking to
and fro, and rapidly moving her lips, without uttering a sound._)
Enter Annie, absorbed in her pamphlet—does not at first see
Margaret.
ANNIE. (_Memorizing: Er liess mich gestern früh rufen, und sagte mir
dass er einen sehr unangenehmen Brief von Ihrem Lehrer erhalten hatte.
Repeats twice aloud, then to herself, briskly moving her lips._)
M. (_Still not seeing her sister._) Wie geht es Ihrem Herrn
Schwiegervater? Es freut mich sehr, dass Ihre Frau Mutter wieder wohl
ist. (_Repeats. Then mouths in silence._)
(_Annie repeats her sentence a couple of times aloud; then looks up,
working her lips, and discovers Margaret._) Oh, you here! (_Running to
her._) O lovey-dovey, dovey-lovey, I’ve got the gr-reatest news! Guess,
guess, guess! You’ll never guess in a hundred thousand million years—and
more!
M. Oh, tell me, tell me, dearie; don’t keep me in agony.
A. Well, I will. What—do—you—think? _They’re_ here!
M. Wh-a-t! Who? When? Which? Speak!
A. Will and George!
M. Annie Alexandra Victoria Stephenson, what _do_ you mean!
A. As sure as guns!
M. (_Spasmodically unarming and kissing her._) ’Sh! don’t use such
language. O darling, say it again!
A. As sure as guns!
M. I don’t mean that! Tell me again, that—
A. (_Springing up and waltzing about the room._) They’re here—in this
very village—to learn German—for three months! Es sollte mich sehr
freuen wenn Sie—
M. (_Joining in the dance._) Oh, it’s just too lovely for anything!
(_Unconsciously memorizing_:) Es wäre mir lieb wenn Sie morgen mit mir
in die Kirche gehen könnten, aber ich kann selbst nicht gehen, weil ich
Sonntags gewöhnlich krank bin. Juckhe!
A. (_Finishing some unconscious memorizing._)—morgen Mittag bei mir
speisen könnten. Juckhe! Sit down and I’ll tell you all I’ve heard.
(_They sit._) They’re here, and under that same odious law that fetters
us—our tongues, I mean; the metaphor’s faulty, but no matter. They can
go out, and see people, only on condition that they hear and speak
German, and German only.
M. Isn’t—that—too lovely!
A. And they’re coming to see us!
M. Darling! (_Kissing her._) But are you sure?
A. Sure as guns—Gatling guns!
M. ’Sh! don’t child, it’s schrecklich! Darling—you aren’t mistaken?
A. As sure as g—batteries!
They jump up and dance a moment—then—
M. (_With distress._) But, Annie dear!—_we_ can’t talk German—and
neither can they!
A. (_Sorrowfully._) I didn’t think of that.
M. How cruel it is! What can we do?
A. (_After a reflective pause, resolutely._) Margaret—we’ve _got_ to.
M. Got to what?
A. Speak German.
M. Why, how, child?
A. (_Contemplating her pamphlet with earnestness._) I can tell you one
thing. Just give me the blessed privilege: just hinsetzen Will Jackson
here in front of me and I’ll talk German to him as long as this
Meisterschaft holds out to burn.
M. (_Joyously._) Oh, what an elegant idea! You certainly have got a mind
that’s a mine of resources, if ever anybody had one.
A. I’ll skin this Meisterschaft to the last sentence in it!
M. (_With a happy idea._) Why, Annie, it’s the greatest thing in the
world. I’ve been all this time struggling and despairing over these few
little Meisterschaft primers: but as sure as you live, I’ll have the
whole fifteen by heart before this time day after to-morrow. See if I
don’t.
A. And so will I; and I’ll trowel-in a layer of Ollendorff mush between
every couple of courses of Meisterschaft bricks. Juckhe!
M. Hoch! hoch! hoch!
A. Stoss an!
M. Juckhe! Wir werden gleich gute deutsche Schülerinnen werden! Juck——
A. —he!
M. Annie, when are they coming to see us? To-night?
A. No.
M. No? Why not? When are they coming? What are they waiting for? The
idea! I never heard of such a thing! What do you——
A. (_Breaking in._) Wait, wait, wait! give a body a chance. They have
their reasons.
M. Reasons?—what reasons?
A. Well, now, when you stop and think, they’re royal good ones. They’ve
got to talk German when they come, haven’t they? Of course. Well, they
don’t _know_ any German but Wie befinden Sie sich, and Haben Sie gut
geschlafen, and Vater unser, and Ich trinke lieber Bier als Wasser, and
a few little parlor things like that; but when it comes to _talking_,
why, they don’t know a hundred and fifty German words, put them all
together.
M. Oh, I see!
A. So they’re going neither to eat, sleep, smoke, nor speak the truth
till they’ve crammed home the whole fifteen Meisterschafts auswendig!
M. Noble hearts!
A. They’ve given themselves till day after to-morrow, half-past 7 P. M.,
and then they’ll arrive here, loaded.
M. Oh, how lovely, how gorgeous, how beautiful! Some think this world is
made of mud; I think it’s made of rainbows. (_Memorizing._) Wenn irgend
möglich, so möchte ich noch heute Vormittag dort ankommen, da es mir
sehr daran gelegen ist,—Annie, I can learn it just like nothing!
A. So can I. Meisterschaft’s mere fun—I don’t see how it ever could have
seemed difficult. Come! We can be disturbed here: let’s give orders that
we don’t want anything to eat for two days; and are absent to friends,
dead to strangers, and not at home even to nougat-peddlers——
M. Schön! and we’ll lock ourselves into our rooms, and at the end of two
days, whosoever may ask us a Meisterschaft question shall get a
Meisterschaft answer—and hot from the bat!
BOTH. (_Reciting in unison._) Ich habe einen Hut für meinen Sohn, ein
Paar Handschuhe für meinen Bruder, und einen Kamm für mich selbst
gekauft.
(Exeunt.)
Enter MRS. BLUMENTHAL, the Wirthin.
WIRTHIN. (_Solus._) Ach, die armen Mädchen, sie hassen die deutsche
Sprache, drum ist es ganz und gar unmöglich dass sie sie je lernen
können. Es bricht mir ja mein Herz ihre Kummer über die Studien
anzusehen.... Warum haben sie den Entschluss gefasst in ihren Zimmern
ein Paar Tage zu bleiben?... Ja—gewiss—dass versteht sich: sie sind
entmuthigt—arme Kinder!
(_A knock at the door._) Herein!
Enter Gretchen with card.
G. Er ist schon wieder da, und sagt dass er nur _Sie_ sehen will.
(_Hands the card._) Auch—
WIRTHIN. Gott im Himmel—der Vater der Mädchen! (_Puts the card in her
pocket._) Er wünscht die _Töchter_ nicht zu treffen? Ganz recht; also,
Du schweigst.
G. Zu Befehl.
WIRTHIN. Lass ihn hereinkommen.
G. Ja, Frau Wirthin!
Exit Gretchen.
WIRTHIN. (_Solus._) Ah—jetzt muss ich ihm die Wahrheit offenbaren.
Enter Mr. Stephenson.
STEPHENSON. Good morning, Mrs. Blumenthal—keep your seat, keep your
seat, please. I’m only here for a moment—merely to get your report, you
know. (_Seating himself._) Don’t want to see the girls—poor things,
they’d want to go home with me. I’m afraid I couldn’t have the heart to
say no. How’s the German getting along?
WIRTHIN. N-not very well; I was afraid you would ask me that. You see,
they hate it, they don’t take the least interest in it, and there isn’t
anything to incite them to an interest, you see. And so they can’t talk
at all.
S. M-m. That’s bad. I had an idea that they’d get lonesome, and have to
seek society; and then, of course, my plan would work, considering the
cast-iron conditions of it.
WIRTHIN. But it hasn’t so far. I’ve thrown nice company in their
way—I’ve done my very best, in every way I could think of—but it’s no
use; they won’t go out, and they won’t receive anybody. And a body can’t
blame them; they’d be tongue-tied—couldn’t do anything with a German
conversation. Now when I started to learn German—such poor German as I
know—the case was very different: my intended was a German. I was to
live among Germans the rest of my life; and so I _had_ to learn. Why,
bless my heart! I nearly _lost_ the man the first time he asked me—I
thought he was talking about the measles. They were very prevalent at
the time. Told him I didn’t want any in mine. But I found out the
mistake, and I was fixed for him next time... Oh, yes, Mr. Stephenson, a
sweetheart’s a prime incentive!
S. (_Aside._) Good soul! she doesn’t suspect that my plan is a double
scheme—includes a speaking knowledge of German, which I am bound they
shall have, and the keeping them away from those two young
fellows—though if I had known that those boys were going off for a
year’s foreign travel, I—however, the girls would never learn that
language at home; they’re here, and I won’t relent—they’ve got to stick
the three months out. (_Aloud._) So they are making poor progress? Now
tell me—will they learn it—after a sort of fashion, I mean—in the three
months?
WIRTHIN. Well, now, I’ll tell you the only chance I see. Do what I will,
they won’t answer my German with anything but English; if that goes on,
they’ll stand stock still. Now I’m willing to do this: I’ll straighten
everything up, get matters in smooth running order, and day after
to-morrow I’ll go to bed sick, and stay sick three weeks.
S. Good! You are an angel! I see your idea. The servant girl—
WIRTHIN. That’s it; that’s my project. She doesn’t know a word of
English. And Gretchen’s a real good soul, and can talk the slates off a
roof. Her tongue’s just a flutter-mill. I’ll keep my room,—just ailing a
little,—and they’ll never see my face except when they pay their little
duty-visits to me, and then I’ll say English disorders my mind. They’ll
be shut up with Gretchen’s wind-mill, and she’ll just grind them to
powder. Oh, _they’ll_ get a start in the language—sort of a one, sure’s
you live. You come back in three weeks.
S. Bless you, my Retterin! I’ll be here to the day! Get ye to your
sick-room—you shall have treble pay. (_Looking at watch._) Good! I can
just catch my train. Leben Sie wohl! (_Exit._)
WIRTHIN. Leben Sie wohl! mein Herr!