SEX IN THE MARRIAGE RELATION
THE WIFE
Girls marry, in the final analysis, because love for the male is an
innate natural principle of the female nature. At its best this love
is pure and chaste. The good woman realizes that its first purpose is
not mere carnal pleasure. It is a special avowal of the wife's
relations to her husband, and its natural as well as moral end is the
establishment of the family on the basis of a healthy progeny.
BEFORE MARRIAGE
The wife-to-be, like her prospective husband, will be well advised to
ask for a medical health certificate. No man, no matter how good his
reputation may be, should marry (on his own account as well as that of
the girl) without thorough examination by a physician. The
consequences of venereal infection administered to unborn children by
their parents are too horrible to allow of any risk being taken.
Another bit of advice, which cannot be too highly commended, is that
the prospective husband and wife, before they marry, have a plain talk
with each other regarding individual sexual peculiarities and needs. A
heart-to-heart talk of this kind would be apt to prevent great
disappointments and incompatibilities which otherwise may become
permanent.
THE WIFE AND HER POSITION
The natural instinct of a man is to seek his mate. On her he depends
for an orderly and lawful indulgence of his sex demands. The greatest
longevity and best health are to be found among happily married
fathers and mothers. No young woman should marry without a full
knowledge of her sex duties to her husband. And she should never
consummate the marriage vow grudgingly.
CHILDBIRTH HYGIENE
Childbirth is the natural consequence of marriage. Its processes have
already been explained in Chapter II of this book. There are, however,
some hygienic facts in connection with it which should be noted. Once
pregnancy is established, as soon as the fact is suspected, the
mother-to-be should look on the little embryo as already a member of
the family. Every act of each parent should now be performed (at least
to some degree) with reference to the forthcoming infant. The mother's
thoughts should be directed to it as much as possible. Mentally she
should read literature of a lofty and ennobling character. The theory
is that this serves a good purpose in producing a more perfect,
healthy and intelligent child. Physically, she should take plenty of
active exercise during gestation. Active exercise does not, of course,
mean violent exercise. And she should use a "Health Lift." During
this time she should subsist as far as possible on a farinaceous
diet, fruits and vegetables. The foods should be plainly cooked,
without spices. If all else is as it should be, the birth of the child
at the end of the customary nine months will be attended by
comparatively little pain and danger.
HOW OFTEN SHOULD CHILDBIRTH TAKE PLACE?
It is most important that the childbearing wife and mother have a long
period of rest between births. At least one year should separate a
birth and the conception following it. This means that about two years
should elapse between two births. If this rule be followed, the wife
will retain her health, and her children will also be healthy. It is
far better to give birth to seven children, who will live and be
healthy, than to bear fourteen, of whom seven are likely to die, while
the numerous successive births wear out and age the unfortunate
mother.
MATRIMONIAL ADJUSTMENT
The above paragraph deals with one detail of what might be called
"matrimonial adjustment." This adjustment or compromise is a feature
of all successful marriages. The individual cravings of husband and
wife must be reconciled by mutual good will and forbearance if they
are to be happy. Attention should be paid in particular to not
allowing habit, "the worst foe of married happiness," to become too
well established in the home, and to cultivate that love and affection
which survives the decline of the sexual faculties.
THE IDEAL MARRIAGE
The ideal marriage is the one in which affection combines to bring
happiness to both partners in a sane union of sex and soul. As one
commentator has rather unhappily expressed it: "When married the
_battle_ for one united and harmonious life really begins!" It is,
indeed, but too often a _battle_! Forbearance, consideration and
respect must be the foundation on which the ideal married state is
built. The husband should realize that his wife's love for him induces
her to allow privileges of a personal nature which her innate chastity
and timidity might otherwise refuse. In return, he should accept these
privileges with consideration. He should, in particular, on his
wedding night, take care not to shock his young bride's sensibilities.
He may easily give her a shock from which she will not recover for
years, and lead her to form an antipathy against the very act which is
"the bond and seal of a truly happy married life."
BIRTH CONTROL
Material changes have taken place in the birth-rate of a number of
countries during the past fifteen or twenty years which cannot be
attributed to purely economic causes. They do not seem to depend on
such things as trade, employment and prices; but on the spread of an
idea or influence whose tendency must be deplored, that of "birth
control," a phrase much heard in these days.
The fact that a decline in human fertility and a falling birth rate
are most noticeable in the relatively prosperous countries is a proof
that it does not proceed from economic causes; but is due rather to
the spread of the doctrine that it is permissible to restrict or
control birth. In such countries as the United States, England and
Australasia, where the standards of human comfort and living are
notoriously high, the decline in the birth rate has been most
noticeable. On the other hand, we find perhaps the greatest decline in
the birth rate in France, a country where the general well-being
probably reaches a lower depth in the community than in any other part
of Europe. A comparison of the birth rates of France and of Ireland,
for example, offer a valuable illustration of the point under
consideration. In France, more than half the women who have reached
the age of nubility are married; in Ireland, generally speaking, less
than a third. In both countries the crude birth rate is far below that
in other European lands. Yet the fertility of the Irish wife exceeded
that of her French compeer by 44 per cent in 1880, and by no less than
84 per cent in 1900. And since that time the prolificity of the Irish
mother has so increased that she is now, approximately speaking,
inferior only to the Dutch or Finnish mother in this respect.
In general, in any country where we find a diminished prolificity a
falling off of childbirth _unaccompanied_ by a decrease in the number
of marriages occurring at the reproductive ages, we may attribute this
decrease to _voluntary restriction of childbearing_ on the part of the
married, or in other words, to the prevalence of "birth control."
This incidentally, is not a theoretical statement, but one supported
by the almost unanimous medical opinion in all countries. Everywhere
and especially here in our own United States, we find evidence of the
extensive employ of "birth control" measures to prevent that normal
development of family life which underlies the vigor and racial power
of every nation. These preventive measures which arbitrarily control
human birth had long been in use in France with results which,
especially since the war, have been frequently and publicly deplored
in the press, and have led the French Government to offer substantial
rewards to encourage the propagation of large families. From France
the preventive practices of "birth control" had spread, after 1870,
over nearly all the countries of western Europe, to England and to the
United States; though they are not as much apparent in those countries
where the Roman Church has a strong hold on the people.
As a general thing, the practice of thus unnaturally limiting
families--"unnaturally" since the custom of "birth control" derives
from no natural, physical law--prevails, in the first instance, among
the well-to-do, who should rather be the first to set the example of
protest against it by having the families they are so much better able
to support and educate than those less favored with the world's goods.
If the evil of voluntary control of human birth were restricted to a
privileged class, say one of wealth, the harm done would, perhaps, not
be so great. But, unfortunately, in the course of time it filters
down as a "gospel of comfort"--erroneous term!--to those whose
resources are less. They accept and practice this invidious system of
prevention and gradually the entire community is more or less
affected.
The whole system of "birth control" is opposed to natural, human and
religious law. Nature, in none of her manifestations, introduces
anything which may tend to prevent her great reason for being--the
propagation of the species. Birth as the natural sequence of mating is
her solemn and invariable law. It is in birth and rebirth that nature
renews herself and all the life of the animal and vegetable world, and
her primal aim is to encourage it. Human law recognizes this
underlying law of nature by forbidding man to tamper in a preventive
way with her hallowed and mysterious processes for perpetuating the
human race. Religious law, based on the divine dispensation of the
Scriptures, indorses the law of nature and that of the state.
We may take it, then, that "birth control" represents a deliberate and
reprehensible attempt to nullify those innate laws of reproduction
sanctioned by religion, tradition and man's own ingrained instinct. To
say that the human instinct for the perpetuation of his race and
family has become atrophied during the flight of time, and that he is
therefore justified in denying it, is merely begging the question. The
instinct may be denied, just as other higher and nobler instincts are
disregarded; but its validity cannot be questioned. Whether those who
practice "birth control" are influenced by economic, selfishly
personal or other reasons, they are offending in a threefold manner:
against the inborn wish and desire which is a priceless possession of
even the least of God's creatures, that of living anew in its
offspring; against the law of the state, which after all, stands for
the crystallization of the best feeling of the community; and against
the divine injunction handed down to us in Holy Writ, to "increase and
multiply."
"Birth control" is the foe to the direct end and aim of marriage,
which, in the last analysis, is childbirth. As an enemy to the
procreation of children it is an enemy of the family and the family
group. As an enemy of the family, it is an enemy of the state, the
community, a foe to the whole social system. Mankind has been able to
attain its comparatively recent state of moral and physical
advancement without having recourse to the dangerous principle which
"birth control" represents. Surely that wise provision of our existing
legal code which makes the printing or dissemination of information
regarding the physical facts of "birth control" illegal and punishable
as an offense, can only be approved by those who respect the
Omnipotent will, and the time-hallowed traditions which date back to
the very inception of the race.