The night wore away. The child grew terribly weak about four o'clock,
and it seemed as if he were going and were held only by sheer force of
my desire. If he could only sleep! Stas slept restlessly. Little Wanda
was sorry for her mother, constantly waking to ask why Mammy did not
lie down.
When six o'clock came the Captain thundered in, demanding breakfast,
and hoping I had slept well.
Arousing those poor people lying about on the floor, I freshened my own
costume, trying to look as formal as possible. There was no bread. The
Captain, informed of this, brought a loaf. They finished my butter, and
drank an enormous amount of coffee. As I served them the cook came to
tell me a lot of people were waiting, begging me to intercede for them.
An old man rushed in after her, threw himself on the floor, kissing
my hands and knees, weepingly telling how the soldiers had held him,
had taken his two young daughters, had looted the hut, even to his
money buried in the earth of the floor. They had then gone, taking the
girls with them. The poor father crawled around the table, kissing the
officers' hands. They laughed uproariously when one gave him a push
which sent him sprawling over the floor.
The Captain, seeing my look of disgust (I learned to conceal my
feelings better afterwards), asked me, "Whatever was the trouble--why
he howled so!"
After I told him what had happened the Captain looked black and silent
for a moment; then said he could do nothing. The girls now belonged to
the soldiers, and I even saw he was sorry. One of the others, however,
laughed, saying the father was foolish to have stopped about when he
was not wanted. That was my introduction to Prussian _Schrecklichkeit_.
The other people waiting had mostly been turned out of doors while the
soldiers slept in their beds, or were asking help to get back a pig or
a horse, or else they were injured. I told them to go away and be glad
they had their lives, that just now there was no help, but I would do
all that lay in my power.
We heard the sound of battle all that day over Augustowo way. It
seemed already like a friend, our only connection with the world.
Another day of miserable anxiety, the boy always worse, and the trouble
of providing food for all those men. I knew that a friendly seeming
attitude on my part was our salvation. The Captain under all his
gruffness had a kind heart, but even in that short time I had learned
what the German system means. Their idea is so to frighten people that
all semblance of humanity is stamped out! Every time something awful
happened they said there was East Prussia to pay for.
* * * * *
It was about dinner-time ... the officers were just about to sit down
when my cook rushed in crying out that two soldiers came into the
kitchen--while one held her (I am sure he bore the marks of her nails!)
the other ran off with a ham and the potatoes ready for the table.
The officers were furious, and went out to find the culprits. They were
found, and a part of the ham and potatoes also. Both got a terrible
lashing, enough to take all the manhood out of them.
When this was told me as their supper was served, I asked why the men
had been punished. They all had license to do as they pleased. Many
dinners had been taken from the stoves that day in Suwalki. "But not
where _die Herrn Offiziere_ are!" _There_ was the whole story. _We_ did
not exist--therefore no one could be punished for what they might do to
harm us!
During that supper, it seemed as if all the officers in Suwalki came
to say good-evening. I would hardly get one samovar emptied and go
to the children than they would ask for another, at the same time
expressing sorrow for my trouble, and saying the officers wished to
meet the American lady,--and I dared not refuse! It was possible
to avoid giving my hand in greeting because of the sick child. How
miserable to be so torn asunder! To be kept there with those men when
my baby needed me every minute, but what was there to do? _C'est la
Guerre_, as all the Germans remarked in exceedingly bad French. One of
the officers who came was evidently a very great personage. They paid
him such deferential respect. He looked just like an Englishman. I told
him so and he said his mother was an English woman--seemingly taking
great pleasure in my remark, going on, however, to say the stain could
only be washed from his blood by the shedding of much English blood! I
shivered to hear the awful things he said; about having fought since
the beginning of the war on the west front where he had many to his
account; how, when the affair with the Russians was settled, and a
peace made, he was going to England to call on his cousins, with not
less than a hundred lives to the credit of his good sabre! It made me
ill to hear him talk. In their power, one loses the vision of freedom
or right; they filled the horizon; it is very difficult not to lose
courage and hope. I _did_ ask if there were no one else to take into
consideration.
"Who?"
"Just God!"
"God stands on the side of the German weapons!"