ABNORMALITIES AND VARIETIES OF DEVELOPMENT--LOVE AND HATE
[Sidenote: The study of the abnormal in Psychology]
Up to this point, in studying the process of individual development in
relation to the family environment, we have as far as possible confined
our attention to the more normal aspects of this process, neglecting for
the most part the many variations and aberrations to which it is liable.
It is now time to explore more carefully some of the more important of
these byways into which the human mind may wander in the course of its
development--byways which we have hitherto passed unnoticed, or at most
examined with a hasty glance, as we traced the direct path of emotional
development from childhood to maturity. Some of these byways lie near to
the direct path which we have already followed; others depart more widely
from it, approaching near to, or sometimes definitely entering, the region
of the abnormal or pathological.
As regards these latter, however, it must be borne in mind that here (as
in most other cases of the treatment of the abnormal in Psychology) the
distinction between normal and abnormal is one which is drawn for the sake
of practical convenience only, and which indicates merely a difference
of degree not a difference in quality, between the phenomena which it
distinguishes. Even those manifestations which mark the most extreme
departures from the normal are present as possibilities in all of us:
it is only a question of the extent of our tendency towards them and of
the intensity of the predisposing causes in our environment. A slight
alteration in the balance of our mental forces or in the circumstances of
our life and upbringing, and we too might fall victims to the aberrations
which now seem to us so repulsive, foolish or ridiculous, when displayed
by others. The abnormal in Psychology is most frequently only an aspect
of the normal magnified beyond its usual dimensions and thus brought
out of proportion to the other aspects of the mind. For this reason the
study of the abnormal is often the best means of investigating the minute
structure of the normal: and in the present case we shall find that when
we have reviewed the principal abnormalities and variations in the psychic
development of the individual in relation to his family, we shall be in
a much more favourable position for arriving at a decision as to our own
attitude--theoretical and practical--towards this development than if we
had simply considered the process of growth in its strictly normal aspects.
[Sidenote: Abnormalities of development at different levels]
Byways in human development, both emotional and intellectual, may diverge
from the main track at various points in its course--some near its origin
in the infantile strata of the mind, some at a later stage of progress.
Those which leave the main track at a relatively early point preserve, as
a rule, throughout their course some more or less definite indication of
their early origin, some trace of infantile or childish character; while
those which take their departure at a subsequent stage bear the marks of
a later, but still immature, condition of development. As each variation
or aberration thus, to some extent, corresponds in nature to the point
of development at which it took its rise, it is possible to classify
such variations and aberrations according to their point of origin; and
to regard each one as a fixation or arrest of development at a certain
point in the main track of progress. What is true of human development in
general is true more particularly of the development of the individual's
relation to his family. The more primitive variations will be found to
bear the characteristics of the early stages of the individual's mental
growth while the later variations will indicate a more advanced condition
of this growth.
In the previous chapters we have seen that in the earliest stages of
development the most important psychic reactions of the child (so far as
they concern us here) are those connected with the parents. At a later
stage, the tendencies and emotions originally centering in the parents
undergo (under the influence of Repression) a process of Displacement
on to other persons and objects. This important fact in the process of
development may serve us as a preliminary basis of classification in
dealing with the numerous variations which we shall encounter. We shall
first undertake a review of the more primitive types of variation in which
the abnormal elements are directly connected with the child's relations to
its parents, passing on subsequently to the more complex types in which a
well marked displacement of the child's original feelings has taken place,
as the result of which the abnormality is no longer directly connected
with the parents themselves but with a substitute for these.
[Sidenote: Abnormalities and variations in the parent--regarding
tendencies]
As regards the first class, the general nature of the psychic defects
which may be met with is, in the main, familiar to us from our
consideration of the early stages of normal development. If any of the
features of the individual's relations to his parents which we there
passed in review--the love and hate aspects of the Œdipus complex, the
dependence on the efforts of the parents as regards self maintenance and
preservation, the general obedience to, and reliance on, the authority of
the parents--should persist at a relatively advanced age in anything like
their original quality and intensity, then there exists one of the defects
in question. Not that any of these features will be found to manifest
themselves (except perhaps on rare occasions) in exactly their original
form and manner. The general mental and moral growth of the intervening
years usually ensures that many of these features shall have undergone a
process of repression in virtue of which they are no longer permitted to
express themselves fully and openly in consciousness. More especially is
this the case with regard to the love and hate elements in the psychic
relationship of the individual to his parents. These will seldom manifest
themselves quite openly and directly though they may attain to indirect
expression in dreams, neurotic symptoms, fancies and (as Rank has so
abundantly shown) in works of art. The psycho-analytic treatment of these
productions has shown, however, that the original tendencies may persist
in their crude form in the unconscious; and thence may exercise a profound
influence on character and mental life.
[Sidenote: Fixation at the stage of parent love]
In so far as, under the force of the repression, these tendencies do
not suffer some clearly marked modification or displacement as regards
their object (and thus fall within our second class of abnormalities),
the conflict to which their continued existence gives rise is apt to
manifest itself most prominently in one or more of the negative forms
characteristic of repression, rather than in any positive form indicative
of the original nature of the repressed desire[32]. Thus a fixation (as
it is now usually called) of the love impulses on the parent of the
opposite sex may betray itself, on the positive side, in a relatively
sublimated and asexual manner only--as in a more than usual degree of
friendly affection, esteem or veneration for, or in an abnormal degree of
dependence on, the parent in question; combined perhaps with an unusually
strong desire for the presence of the loved parent, and a feeling of
contentment with life in the parent's home that leads to a relative
want of interest in persons and things outside it, and a liability to
home-sickness if compelled to be away from home or parent[33]. The sexual
nature of the (unconscious) source of this attitude reveals itself
however unmistakably in the negative aspects of the conflict to which
it gives rise. Thus a parent fixation of this kind may make itself felt
negatively in an inability to direct love freely and fully upon any
other person of the same sex as the loved parent. The normal process
of falling in love in adolescence or early maturity may fail to take
place; the persons concerned are content to live quietly at home with
their parents; if sexual relations are attempted, psychic impotence or
frigidity--relative or absolute--may result[34]; marriage will frequently
be avoided, or will be entered into from motives other than those of real
affection[35]--sometimes from the very need to escape from an unconscious
incestuous desire.
[Sidenote: Conflict and Compromise]
These negative manifestations, like so many others of a similar kind,
are the result of two distinct and conflicting tendencies in the mind,
and (as is usual in such cases) are of such a nature as to give at any
rate some degree of satisfaction to both these tendencies at the same
time. In the first place they give expression to the psychic forces
engaged in the repression of the primitive incestuous trends; with the
exaggeration and want of discrimination characteristic of repression,
the taboo originally applicable to one particular object (the parent)
is extended to all objects towards which similar feelings could be
experienced; thus producing an inhibition of a general kind upon a whole
class of feelings as such, where an inhibition of a specific kind upon a
particular manifestation of such feelings (_i. e._ their manifestation in
an incestuous direction) was all that was originally intended or required.
In the second place, these predominantly negative aspects of fixation
contain also some elements of positive gratification of the repressed
tendencies. In the failure to extend any considerable degree of affection
upon a new object (parent substitute), the mind expresses its abiding
fidelity to its first love-object (the actual parent) and its refusal to
abandon the satisfaction which it continues to find in this object, in
spite of the difficulties and prohibitions connected with this infantile
direction of the love impulses and the prospect of greater freedom in
other directions. This double nature of the negative aspects of fixation
on the love-object of early childhood affords a striking instance of the
compromise formations which so frequently arise in the course of mental
development as the result of struggle between conflicting tendencies.
[Sidenote: Homosexuality as a result of incestuous fixation]
In a number of cases the repression of an incestuous affection for a
parent may manifest itself not merely in relative indifference to the
attractions of others of the same sex as that of the loved parent but,
more violently, in active dislike of persons of that sex. This condition
is usually associated with a direction of affection upon persons of the
individual's own sex in such quality and such degree as is normally found
only where persons of the opposite sex are concerned. Indeed it has been
found that this process constitutes an important factor in the history of
a large number of cases of homosexuality. In these cases the repression
of the original love of the parent of the opposite sex has led, first, to
an extension of the love taboo to all persons of that sex, and then, as a
further step,--the way to all heterosexual affection being now barred--to
the displacement of sexual desire into the homosexual direction. Some
indication of the secondary and derivative character of these cases of
homosexuality is, however, often to be found in the nature of the object
selected, this object usually presenting some resemblance to the opposite
sex for which it serves as substitute, _e. g._ some delicacy, tenderness
or effeminacy in the case of men or boys and some quality of unusual
strength or "mannishness" in the case of women[36].
On _a priori_ grounds we might expect to find that in other cases of
homosexuality the direction of affection is determined in a more direct
manner, _viz._ by the fixation of an original infantile attachment to the
parent of the _same_ sex as that of the child. This might seem especially
liable to occur in the case of women, who for one reason or another have
never completed the step from a predominance of mother love (usually, as
we have seen, the first form of object love with children of both sexes)
to a predominance of father love[37].
With men, too, it is possible that an overstrong affection and admiration
for the father may lead to a corresponding result. In these cases we
should expect the homosexuality to be of a deeper and more fundamental
character than that referred to above, the members of the lover's own sex
exercising attraction, as it were, on their own merits, and not merely as
substitutes for the forbidden members of the opposite sex; the objects
selected being correspondingly typical of their own sex, _i. e._ womanly
women and manly men[38]. The existence of such a type of homosexuality
has indeed been demonstrated by Ferenczi[39] (though here, as in most
cases of "types" in psychology, it is probable that the types themselves
are only extreme forms between which there exist an indefinite number of
intermediate characters, the majority of individuals partaking to some
extent of the nature of both types). So far as the evidence goes, however,
it would seem that the fixation of love on the parent of the same sex
plays a lesser part in the development of this kind of homosexuality
than might have been expected; the homosexuality in question being more
frequently and to a greater extent due to a displacement of a primitive
love of self (Narcissism, in psycho-analytic terminology) projected on to
others, so that in loving those of his own sex the individual is directing
his affection to those who, by his unconscious mind, are selected as the
most suitable representatives of his own beloved Ego.
[Sidenote: Idealisation of the loved parent]
It is an important characteristic of the phenomenon of fixation on the
parent, that this parent who is loved in the unconscious is not so much
the parent as he or she actually exists when the child has attained to
adolescence or maturity, but rather the parent as he or she appeared
to the child when young, _i. e._ in the case of the father, a being of
immeasurable strength, wisdom, knowledge, authority and (perhaps) love; in
the case of the mother, one of unsurpassable beauty, tenderness and mercy
and an ever available source of comfort, help and protection in face of
the difficulties and dangers of an unknown and often hostile world. This
idealisation of the loved parent is especially liable to exercise a potent
influence in all cases where the parent in question dies young and is
therefore never subject to the criticism at the hands of his children to
which he would, later on, have inevitably to some extent become exposed.
In any case, however, it is not surprising that in comparison with these
beautiful products of the child's imagination (for we can scarcely doubt
that, here as elsewhere, the passage of time has served to embellish still
further the originally exaggerated estimate of the admirable qualities
of the loved parent) the actual imperfect specimens of humanity who are
available as love objects in the real world have but little power of
attraction[40].
It is principally from this source that there is apt to rise the fruitless
search for the "ideal" man or woman--a search which is bound to end in
disappointment, because the object of the search is to be found nowhere
but in the distorted and idealised memories cherished in the mind of the
searcher himself.
[Sidenote: Don Juanism and the search for the ideal]
It is this search for the ideal that has been found to underlie the
inability to find permanent satisfaction in any individual of the opposite
sex; an inability of a most distressing nature which characterises the
love life of a certain class of persons[41]. These unhappy Don Juans
are perpetually attracted to a fresh object by the promise of some new
and indefinable charm, only to suffer disappointment as each new object
in turn is found in some inexplicable way to fall short of the lover's
hopes and expectations. The misery which these individuals, through their
instability and faithlessness, are apt to bring not only on themselves
but on the unfortunate objects of their love, is too well known to need
further emphasis or description. It is, however, paradoxically enough, the
extreme steadfastness of their love towards its original object that is
the cause of their fickleness towards all subsequent objects of affection.
[Sidenote: "Myth of the birth of the hero"]
As a result of this same process of idealisation, it may also happen that
the realisation of the true nature of the real parents when compared with
the beings corresponding to them in imagination, may give rise to feelings
of very bitter disappointment. This disappointment is an experience so
widespread and of such deep emotional significance as to have found
expression in a frequently recurring type of myth and legend, which has
received illuminating treatment at the hands of Freud and Rank[42]. In
these myths (of which the stories connected with Moses, Perseus, Œdipus,
Romulus, Cyrus, Christ, Siegfried, Lohengrin afford typical examples) a
child is born of noble or divine parentage, but for some reason (usually
connected with hostility on the part of the father) is lost or otherwise
severed from his rightful home, and is reared by foster parents of lowly
station (or sometimes by animals), only to be eventually restored to the
position which is by birth his due. Here the foster parents of the myth
correspond to the real parents as they are revealed to the disappointed
insight of the child who, with widening experience of his human
environment, begins to realise the discrepancy between the actual position
of his parents in the world of men and the ideal qualities with which his
infant's fancy had endowed them. Unwilling however to give up the lofty
conception of his parents' dignity which he had formed for himself (the
abandonment of which involves of course not only a loss of cherished
ideals as regards his parents, but a serious readjustment of his views as
to his own prospects and importance[43]), the individual finds in the
noble parents of the myth the re-embodiment of those conceptions which
had become untenable as regards the real world. The series of legends (in
so far as they immediately concern us here) thus serve to express the
persistence in the Unconscious of the original infantile idealisation
of the parents as a consolation for the loss of the parent ideal which
an appreciation of the actual human imperfections of the parents has
inevitably brought in its train.
[Sidenote: Exaggerated love concealing hate]
The manifestations of the hate, as distinct from the love, elements of the
Œdipus complex, may also, when subjected to repression in the course of
moral development, assume a negative form--in this case usually appearing
as a morbid and exaggerated, but of course relatively superficial, love
for the hated parent; a love which constantly tends to find expression in
somewhat forced and unnatural exhibitions of affection. This superficial
love is often accompanied by an unreasoning anxiety as to the welfare of
the parent in question and a persistent dread lest he or she should come
to some harm. This symptom merely constitutes a form of repression of
the unconscious wish that the parent _should_ come to some harm. Persons
afflicted with a neurotic anxiety of this kind will frequently suffer very
greatly at the death of the parent concerning whom the anxiety is felt;
for this event constitutes the supreme gratification of the unconscious
and repressed desires, thus calling for an exceptionally vigorous effort
on the part of the repressing force in its endeavour to substitute in
consciousness an emotion of the opposite quality to that which would be
felt if the repressed tendencies held undisputed sway.
[Sidenote: Open parent-hatred]
Quite frequently however--in this respect unlike the love tendencies--the
hate impulse may manifest itself with a very considerable degree of
frankness and directness, leading to openly hostile relations to the
parent, which may persist throughout life. In such cases it will usually
be found that the original hatred as a consequence of jealousy or envy
has been supplemented by vindictive feelings arising from a (real or
imaginary) attitude of cruelty or tyranny on the part of the hated parent
towards the child or towards some third member of the family, to whom the
child's love and sympathy has gone out.
This notion of cruelty and tyranny is indeed apt to play a very important
part in the attitude of children towards their parents. The almost
boundless power and authority which the parent possesses over the very
young child, combined with the fact that this authority must often be
exercised (even by the most indulgent and considerate parents) in what
appears to the child a most arbitrary manner and one which displays a
ruthless disregard of his own desires and longings--all this may bring
about a sense of oppression and of being the victim of a system of brutal
force. Such feelings can only be removed by a strong counter-impulse of
affection and a gradual understanding and assimilation of the parent's
point of view, as mental growth proceeds. If the original feeling of
hostility arising from the conflict between the parent's will and that of
the child should not be overcome--as may easily happen, if (through some
deficiency of tender feeling in the child himself or as the result of some
genuine want of consideration on the part of the parent) the child should
experience no compensatory emotion of love towards the parent--then the
hatred thus aroused may persist with unabated vigour into adult life,
or even grow in strength as the years pass. The extraordinarily intense
bitterness which may be felt, for instance by a son towards his father,
may easily be realised by a study of a number of well known literary
works, _e. g._ many of the poems of Shelley.
[Sidenote: Conflicting interests of parents and children]
Another, but a later and usually less deep seated, cause of hostile
feelings in children towards their parents, is to be found in the natural
and to some extent inevitable competition of the successive generations
for the available sources of wealth and power. This motive is apt to
be experienced more strongly among the relatively wealthy classes than
among the relatively poor, with whom under existing social conditions the
children may at a comparatively early age attain to an economic position
little if at all inferior to that of their parents. In many well-to-do
families, however, the prospect of succeeding at the death of the parent
to a considerable sum of money, a title, or a recognised business, social,
or professional position, will frequently supply a motive for secretly
desiring the death of that parent--a motive which of course usually
suffers a very considerable degree of repression, but which nevertheless
may constitute a factor of importance in the determination of the total
psychic attitude of the child towards the parent. This is especially
liable to be the case where for any reason--_e. g._ an extravagant mode
of life on the part of the child or a want of generosity on the part of
the parent--the resources at the disposal of the former are markedly
insufficient for the satisfaction of his needs (real or supposed), or
again where the lack of adequate funds is felt as a hindrance to some
important step in life, such as entering upon a marriage or upon some
business enterprise. Here the contrast between the economic impotence of
the child as compared with the greater resources of his parents--coming,
as it is apt to do, just at the period of his most urgent desires and most
ardent aspirations--is only too likely to resuscitate the dead relics
of infantile envy and hostility. Such a revival, by the circumstances
of later life, of hate engendered during early years, can only be with
certainty avoided where the remains of such hatreds are no longer
persistent as distinct and powerful trends in the unconscious, but have
worked themselves off naturally and have lost their power by absorption in
the main tendencies and interests of a healthy personality.
[Sidenote: Hatred of the parent of the child's own sex]
In a number of cases hatred may be felt, not--as usually happens--towards
the parent of the same sex as that of the child, but towards the parent
of the _opposite_ sex. This abnormality may arise in some cases from a
general tendency to homosexuality on the part of the child, in which
case he is apt to suffer from an "inverted Œdipus complex", as Ferenczi
has termed it; love being felt towards the parent of the same sex and
jealousy towards the parent of the opposite sex; the emotions being of
the same quality as those met with in the usual form of the complex but
opposite in direction. Quite apart, however, from any tendency to sexual
inversion, the hatred of the parent of the opposite sex may, in other
cases, arise secondarily as a consequence of the natural tendency of this
parent to display affection towards the other parent (_i. e._ from the
child's point of view, to give undue attention to a sexual rival). The
hatred thus secondarily aroused towards the original object of love may
manifest itself openly in consciousness or may suffer various degrees of
repression, in the same manner as the more usual hatred towards the parent
of the same sex. The importance and interest of this secondary hatred lies
principally in its influence on certain forms of displacement to which we
shall have to refer in a later chapter.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 32: An excellent condensed treatment of many of the effects
of incestuous fixation will be found in K. Abraham's "Die Stellung
der Verwandtenche in der Psychologie der Neurosen." _Jahrbuch für
psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_, 1909, I., 110.]
[Footnote 33: In a rather extreme case known to the writer a woman of
about 35 had never been able to leave home without the most intense
feelings of sorrow and loneliness, which usually impelled her to return
precipitately after the absence of a day or two. In childhood she could
seldom be induced to go more than a mile or so from her home unless
accompanied by her parents and in later life neurotic symptoms were
developed which effectually prevented her from living apart from her
nearest relatives. As was to be expected, analysis revealed a very strong
parent fixation, and after treatment she was able to fill a responsible
post in a town far removed from the residence of her family.]
[Footnote 34: _Cp._ M. Steiner, "Die funktionelle Impotenz des Mannes und
ihre Behandlung," 1913.
Freud, "Beiträge zur Psychologie des Liebeslebens." _Jahrbuch für
psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_, 1912, IV, 40.
Ferenczi, "Contributions to Psycho-Analysis," 9.]
[Footnote 35: Even if marriage is at first apparently successful, it may
be unable to stand the strain of circumstances which would present little
or no difficulty in the absence of parent fixation. Thus in a case known
to me, after a happy honeymoon spent near home, a wife proved unable
to accompany her husband to a distant locality, where business affairs
necessitated his residence but (in spite of his protests and entreaties)
turned back while on the journey and returned to live with her parents. It
appeared that she had very seldom left home before her marriage, having
been brought up by kindly but indulgent parents, as regards whom there
was a strong emotional fixation. In her youth she had only travelled once
without her parents, being then so miserably unhappy that she begged to be
sent home again as soon as possible.]
[Footnote 36: _Cp._ especially Ferenczi, "Contributions to
Psycho-Analysis," 250.]
[Footnote 37: In the case of a woman, the record of whose analysis was
kindly shown to me by Dr. E. M. Cole, there appears to have been a
complete father fixation (with corresponding hatred of the mother) at one
level and at a lower and more unconscious level an equally complete mother
fixation (with all the indications of an "inverted" Œdipus complex), the
two levels being characterised by a predominance of heterosexual and
homosexual tendencies respectively.]
[Footnote 38: In three cases of homosexual tendencies in men which I have
recently had the opportunity of studying, the desire to be used by the
father as a sexual objective was quite clearly apparent. _Cp._ Freud's
"Aus der Geschichte einer infantilen Neurose." Sammlung kleiner Schriften
zur Neurosenlehre. IV. 578 ff.]
[Footnote 39: "Contributions to Psycho-Analysis," 250 ff.]
[Footnote 40: _Cp._ Rank, "The Myth of the Birth of the Hero," 1913.]
[Footnote 41: Freud, "Beiträge zur Psychologie des Liebeslebens,"
_Jahrbuch für psychoanalytische und psychopathologische Forschungen_,
1910, II, 389.]
[Footnote 42: See Rank, _op. cit._, also the more recent treatment by the
Questionnaire method by Edmund S. Conklin, "The Foster-Child Fantasy,"
_American Journal of Psychology_, 1920, XXXI, 59.]
[Footnote 43: There can be no doubt that this is a factor of very
considerable significance. The child projects on to its parents its own
desires, ambitions and aspirations, thus finding compensation for the
gradual realisation of its own deficiencies, limitations and want of
power (in much the same way as parents in their turn find consolation
for their own disappointments in contemplating the successes--real or
anticipated--of their children. _Cp._ below Ch. XIV.). In this way certain
of the Narcissistic impulses find displaced expression in the idealisation
of the parents and the exaggeration of their powers--a factor which
probably plays a part of great importance in the Psychology of Religion
(_Cp._ below Ch. XIII.).
The following incident in connection with a young boy personally known to
me amusingly illustrates the tendency to substitute an ideal parent for
a (disappointing) real one, together with the religious and Narcissistic
implications of this tendency. S. F., aged 7, insisted on being called
Jesus Christ, in spite of the remonstrations of his father who pointed
out to him among other things that Jesus Christ was the Son of God; to
which S. F. replied "So am I." On receiving the reply: "You cannot be, for
_I_ am your father," he retorted, "God is my real father, you are only
my _professional_ father" (referring to the fact that his father was a
"professional" musician).]