THE ORIGIN OF CONFLICT IN RELATION TO THE FAMILY
[Sidenote: The primitive a-moral nature of the child]
In the emotional and affective attitudes of the child towards its parents
and the other important persons in its environment, so far as we have now
traced them, the child's conduct is in some respects more nearly allied
to that of the fully developed human being than is generally recognised
or admitted. In the depth and intensity of its love and hate, in its
sexual or quasi-sexual activities and in its distinctive attitude towards
persons of different sex, the child reveals characteristics which have
often hitherto been regarded as exclusive manifestations of the adult
or adolescent mind. In another very important respect, however, the
child's conduct and feeling differ markedly from those of the adult. The
emotional and affective reactions with which we have been dealing exhibit
a straight-forwardness and simplicity which is not found in the more
developed minds of normal adult persons, and which is due to the fact that
the child's early conative tendencies are able, to a relatively large
extent, to work themselves out without any serious opposition, hindrance
or modification caused by the presence of other conflicting tendencies
within the mind. The child's mind is a relatively dissociated one;
incompatible thoughts, emotions, feelings and desires may successively
invade the seat of consciousness, lead to their appropriate reactions
and be but little modified or checked by one another. For this reason
the child is, during the earliest part of its life, a relatively a-moral
being, for morality implies the possibility of two or more courses of
thought or action--a better and a worse--and the lack of integration in
the child's mind only permits of this possibility to a very limited
extent. Thus it comes about that the very young child is able to indulge
openly in the expression of sexual or hostile tendencies in a manner which
is impossible in later life; for to the child the expression of these
tendencies does not yet possess the moral and affective meaning which it
is destined subsequently to acquire. In the earliest years of life the
manifestations of quasi-sexual love, even in an incestuous direction, are
at first only the natural expression of a desire, which is gratified as
a matter of course and without any hesitation produced by a sense of the
immorality of these manifestations. Similarly, when the child seeks, by
death or otherwise, to bring about the permanent removal of a rival or
competitor, the ideas of death and murder are, as Freud points out[15], at
first quite uncomplicated by the thoughts, feelings and sentiments which
later come to be associated with them; the infliction of death--real or
imaginary--is simply the most natural way of dealing, at the earliest
stages of emotional development, with unwanted persons who interfere with
the child's desires and tendencies.
[Sidenote: Modification of conduct as the result of Conflict]
This open and unrestricted expression of primitive tendencies is, however,
confined to a phase of relatively short duration in the history of the
child's mind, being generally found only in the first few years of life.
The crude love or hate for mother or father, brother or sister, which we
have so far been considering, does not long persist in its original form;
the normal development of the mind requires that these primitive emotional
attitudes shall undergo grave and far reaching modifications, the
production of which constitutes an important step towards the attainment
of the adolescent or adult point of view.
[Sidenote: The forces of Repression]
[Sidenote: Sexual inhibition]
These modifications are the result of a conflict which takes place in the
mind between the love and hate impulses in their original form and certain
tendencies of an antagonistic nature which (as already indicated in the
last chapter), make their appearance after a certain time and threaten to
inhibit the cruder manifestations of the primitive impulses. These new
tendencies are themselves, in all probability, derived from more than
one source. Those which produce modification in the love impulses of the
child, may be regarded as constituting, no doubt, only so many particular
instances of that inhibition of sexual and quasi-sexual activity which
exercises such a large influence in the formation of human character in
general.
[Sidenote: Herd Instinct]
The precise history and nature of the motives that are at work here are
not as yet completely understood, and we shall have occasion to consider
the subject again at a later stage of our present enquiry. There can be
little doubt that one of the factors concerned is to be found in the
suggestive influence of social pressure and tradition manifesting itself
in the case of the child, through the behaviour and expression of the
adult persons with whom it is brought into contact[16]. In appreciating
and responding to these influences, the child is probably helped by a
special instinctive mechanism which tends to make it conform to the
behaviour, opinions and emotional atmosphere of its human environment.
A "herd instinct" of this kind is regarded by some psychologists as
constituting the moral force operating as one of the opposing tendencies
in all intra-psychical conflicts such as that with which we are here
concerned[17]. It is indeed almost certainly a factor of very considerable
importance in this connection; the manner in which sexual restrictions
and inhibitions so markedly vary from one time, place or social condition
to another indicates that there is no deep rooted instinctive tendency
towards the suppression of any particular manifestations of sexuality,
but rather that the nature of the modifications and restraints undergone
by sexual activities is determined for the most part by prevalent moral
conventions passively taken over by the individual from the society in
which he finds himself. Nevertheless, it would seem doubtful whether the
practically universal existence of some kind of sexual restriction can
be entirely accounted for in this way. For other reasons it would appear
probable that a tendency to some sort of quite general inhibition of
primitive sexual activities is part of the original mental endowment of
each human individual, even though the particular manifestations of this
inhibitory tendency are principally determined by suggestive influences
from the environment. To this point also we shall have occasion to revert
later on, when we shall be in a more favourable position for forming an
opinion with regard to it.
[Sidenote: Love, gratitude and admiration]
With reference to the moral tendencies which are operative in producing
modifications of the primitive hatreds of the child there can be
little doubt that here also herd instinct is in many cases a factor of
importance. At quite an early age, the child begins to learn that it is
"right" to love and obey its parents and "wrong" to resist the dictates
of the parental authority or to quarrel with its brothers or sisters:
and these precepts are constantly inculcated with all the impressive
suggestiveness which social, educational and religious influences have
at their command. Of equal, if not greater, importance, however, is the
tendency of the child to feel affection towards those with whom it lives
in intimate relationship, to whom it is indebted for all or most of its
material possessions and enjoyments and whom it in many cases admires and
looks up to as the ideal of fully grown humanity to which it may itself
one day attain. The natural growth and development of these feelings
are, however, it is true, helped and encouraged by the moral suggestions
received from outside, whereas these same outside influences tend
powerfully to inhibit the contrary feelings of hatred and hostility.
[Sidenote: The nature and results of Conflict]
After this brief consideration of the nature of the psychic forces which
at a certain stage of development come to be arrayed in opposition to
the primitive manifestations of love and hate as brought out by the
circumstances of family life, we turn now to contemplate the nature and
outcome of the conflict that takes place within the mind between the
two sets of antagonistic tendencies. Our knowledge concerning this and
other similar intra-psychical conflicts has during recent years been very
considerably increased by the work of Freud and other psychologists of
the psycho-analytic school. Generally it may be said that the outcome
of such a conflict varies according to the relative success of one of
the conflicting tendencies over the other. If the two combatants are of
approximately equal strength, there may be a continuous struggle between
them of such a kind as to make itself clearly felt in consciousness;
the individual being then as a rule incapable of vigorous action in
gratification of either tendency. In other cases the competing tendencies
may alternately dominate consciousness and conduct; so that the behaviour
of the individual becomes characterised by impulsiveness and want of
balance rather than by want of energy.
At the opposite extreme there are conflicts which end by the complete
exclusion of one tendency from any direct influence on consciousness or
on behaviour; the individual becoming then normally quite unaware of
the existence of any such tendency within his mind. This exclusion from
consciousness or from any direct manifestation in behaviour does not,
however, of itself bring about a complete annihilation of the tendency
in question. It would seem, on the contrary, that such a tendency may
continue to exist for a long period (even for a whole lifetime) in the
unconscious regions of the mind, where its presence may be demonstrated
by the use of suitable methods. Such an outcome of conflict, in which
one tendency is driven down to the Unconscious and confined there by the
other, is--as we have already stated--usually designated by the term
Repression.
[Sidenote: Displacement and Sublimation]
The process of Repression is, however, rarely carried to such a degree as
to render one of the conflicting tendencies completely and permanently
incapable of direct expression. Most frequently all that is effected
is a modification of such a kind that in its new form the repressed
tendency no longer conflicts to the same extent as before with the
repressing tendency. This process of modification has received the name of
Displacement and consists essentially in the abandonment on the part of
the repressed tendency of its original end or object in favour of a new
one which meets with less resistance from the opposing motives. When the
new end or object is of such a nature as to be culturally or ethically
of appreciably greater value than the original one, the modification
undergone by the tendency in question is often spoken of as Sublimation--a
term which thus comprehends all the "higher" and more desirable cases of
Displacement[18].
[Sidenote: Incest Repression]
In the conflict with which we are here concerned, those motives of a
relatively social or ethical character which we have already considered in
this chapter, act as the repressing force; while the original primitive
tendencies of love and hate, with which we were concerned in the last
chapter, suffer the repression. As regards the degree to which the
repression is carried, it would appear that in a considerable number
of cases the more strongly tabooed among the socially and ethically
objectionable elements become forced out of consciousness without
producing any immediate conscious equivalents. This, perhaps, is liable
to take place more especially as regards some of the more directly
sexual aspects of the child's attitude towards its parents. As Freud
has pointed out[19] there occurs at some time in the early period of
childhood--perhaps most usually at about the sixth year, a relatively
latent sexual period, during which all sexual manifestations are more
or less in abeyance. The existence of this period would seem to imply a
temporary general sexual repression, in which the erotic aspects in the
affection of the child to its parents suffer, together with all other
sexual elements. This initial period of repression seems to play an
important part in the production of a permanent dissociation between the
sexual desires and the feelings experienced in relation to the parents, so
that sexual emotion and filial affection are thereafter seldom permitted
to enter consciousness together. Indeed it would appear that this general
repression of sexual activity is to some extent removed only in so far
as this dissociation has taken place; for on the reappearance of a
more vigorous sexuality at the close of the latent period, the erotic
tendencies would seem normally to have undergone a process of displacement
so that they are no longer so intimately connected with the parent-love as
on their first appearance.
[Sidenote: Displacement as regards the object of love]
In all the more favourable cases of development, however, it is probable
that even from the first the conflict between the primitive elements of
love and hate and the newly unfolding ethical tendencies results to a
great extent in the displacement and gradual sublimation of the former and
not merely in their repression or return to a latent state. The process
of displacement here takes the form of a dissociation of the more erotic
aspects of the child's affection from the loved parent--these aspects
being thus set free for bestowal upon other persons. The choice of such
fresh objects for the child's affection is determined in accordance
with what would appear to be a general law governing the process of
displacement, viz., that the new end or object, to which the psychic
energy is directed, must have some associative connection with the old
object which has been abandoned. For this reason, it is very frequently
possible to trace some kind of resemblance between the loved parent and
the new object of affection; though this resemblance may be of very
various degrees or kinds. Thus, the new object of affection may bear
some resemblance to the parent in one or more of the following points:
physical appearance (either general or as regards some special feature),
mental characteristics, circumstances of life (both these last again being
either general or special), age, name, past history, occupation or family
relationship. Sometimes, moreover, the resemblance may be of an opposing
or negative kind, the later object of love being markedly different from,
or contrasting with, the original object in some one or more of these
characters. In the case of a succession of such loved objects, it is
not unusual for the resemblance to the original object of affection to
become gradually less pronounced, in accordance with a further general
characteristic of Displacement, in virtue of which the higher sublimations
(_i. e._, those which imply ends very different from, and of higher
cultural value than, the original objects of desire) are only attained
slowly and through a number of intermediate steps.
[Sidenote: Parent Substitutes]
A first step of frequent occurrence and of great importance in a large
number of cases is the transference of erotic love from the parent to
some other member of the family, e. g., brother, sister or (usually at a
somewhat later stage of development) cousin. In the first two cases the
new choice of object has the additional advantage of tending to abolish
the hate or jealousy which, as we saw, is apt to characterise the original
attitude towards such members of the family: and this in two ways:--(1)
negatively, by removing the cause of the jealousy, since, as the parent is
now no longer the sole object of affection, the rival claims of brothers
and sisters upon the attention of the parent are no longer felt to be
objectionable; (2) positively, by investing the brother or sister with
the attributes of lovableness formerly reserved for the parent.
In the same way, the diversion of the erotic tendencies from the parent
of the opposite sex removes the principal cause of jealousy and hatred
felt towards the parent of the same sex, so that, in the absence of other
causes of hostility, this hatred--in itself, as we pointed out, originally
in some respects a secondary phenomenon--may give place to the affection
which, in their capacity of protectors and benefactors, tends normally
to be inspired in some degree by both parents alike. But even in so far
as the hate may be primary (due as a rule to frequent thwarting of the
child's desires and activities or to bullying, nagging or generally
unsympathetic behaviour on the part of the parent in question), it tends
to undergo a considerable degree of repression or displacement on its
own account, so that after a time the child no longer experiences in
consciousness any violent aversion to its parent; such aversion being
either confined to the Unconscious or displaced on to other objects in a
manner which we shall study later on.
[Sidenote: The infantile attitude in early love]
The fact that the first choice of loved object other than the parent is
associatively connected with the original object of love, is shown not
only in the nature of the objects selected but also to some extent in
the attitude of the child or adolescent towards the objects of his love.
In the loves of the young towards persons of the opposite sex, there is
usually a strong element of reverence and admiration, a deep feeling of
gratitude for any favours that may be received, combined with a sense
of the lover's own unworthiness and inferiority; a total attitude very
similar to that not unreasonably adopted towards their own parents, to
whom they are indebted for the very necessities of life throughout their
childhood and to whom they naturally feel themselves to be inferior
in knowledge, experience and moral worth. Thus in the early loves of
the young boy, the objects of his affection are apt to be regarded as
queen-like or semi-divine beings--models of beauty, virtue and wisdom--to
whose perfections they themselves (the lovers) can never hope to attain
and of whom they must remain for ever to some extent unworthy. Similar
elements constitute the most important factors in that tendency to
_Schwärmerei_ which so frequently distinguishes the early attachments of
young girls[20].
The adoption of this attitude by the young in their early loves is of
course often facilitated by the fact that the objects selected are
older than the youthful lovers themselves. But this is not a necessary
condition. Something of this attitude may indeed persist throughout the
love life of the individual, since the exaggeration of the desirable
qualities of the loved person, which forms a normal feature of sexual
(and probably of all) love, easily brings with it a sense of the relative
inferiority of the lover's own self. In the loves of a more mature age,
however, this relatively childlike attitude towards the object of love is
usually replaced by one in which the lover plays a more active, vigorous
and self-reliant part, such as is suitable to a person of fully developed
capacity and experience.
[Sidenote: Emancipation from infantile love objects]
Simultaneously with this latter change there goes on a continuance of the
process of liberation of the love impulse from its original object. This
would seem to take place by a further use of the mechanisms of Repression
and Displacement. The love as redirected to the first parent-substitutes
after a time itself begins to meet with opposition from other psychic
tendencies on account of the too great similarity or the too firm
associative connection between the original object and its substitutes.
Thus the existence of anything like erotic feeling towards brothers,
sisters, or other members of the family or towards persons resembling the
parents in age or appearance ceases to be tolerated and at each fresh
choice of object the associative link becomes less marked, so that finally
it may cease altogether to be traceable. Thus at maturity the individual
should, for practical purposes, be free to direct his love towards those
who show no resemblance of any kind to the first object of his dawning
affection. This may be looked upon as the normal goal of the development
of the love impulse in relation to its objects. Any failure to attain
this goal must, it would seem, be regarded as constituting to some extent
a failure or arrest of development with respect to this highly important
aspect of the individual's mental growth.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 15: "The Interpretation of Dreams," 215.]
[Footnote 16: The earliest manifestation of the disapproval of sexual
activities is of course encountered in the autoerotic stage of the child's
development and in relation to the autoerotic activities. It is in
connection with these activities that the sexual inhibitions in their more
general and primitive forms at first arise.]
[Footnote 17: _Cp._ Trotter, "Instincts of the Herd in Peace and War."]
[Footnote 18: For a more thorough treatment of the mechanisms of
Repression, Displacement and Sublimation by the present writer, see
"Freudian Mechanisms as Factors in Moral Development," _British Journal of
Psychology_, 1915, vol. VIII, 477.]
[Footnote 19: "Three Contributions to the Theory of Sex."]
[Footnote 20: Mr. Cyril Burt, who possesses both abilities and
opportunities of an exceptional degree as regards the observation of
children, has suggested to me that two types of transference corresponding
roughly to different stages of development, should be distinguished in
this connection. In the first type (characteristic of children of between
4 and 9) there is a well marked displacement of the erotic or quasi-erotic
aspects to some older person, usually of the opposite sex, while the
child continues to feel tenderness for the parent. In the second type
(characteristic of children of 10 up to the period of adolescence) the
attitude towards the love object (parent substitute) is more reverential,
tenderness being complicated by submissiveness and fear and the affection
being in general far less physical and demonstrative than in the first
type. "The attitude" adds Mr. Burt, "of emotional girls in Standard II and
Standard V respectively toward their teachers seems to me typical. The
former maul and kiss (if allowed): the latter reverence from afar."
If this distinction be generally true, it would seem that there are two
main stages of displacement of the parent regarding feelings:--(1) in
which the more erotic elements are displaced, the more tender aspects of
affection being still directed to the parents; (2) in which these latter
are in their turn transferred, in whole or in part, to new love objects.]