The bishop of the diocese, a very fat old man, was ill with rheumatism
or gout, and had been in bed for over a month. Bishop Pyotr went
to see him almost every day, and saw all who came to ask his help.
And now that he was unwell he was struck by the emptiness, the
triviality of everything which they asked and for which they wept;
he was vexed at their ignorance, their timidity; and all this
useless, petty business oppressed him by the mass of it, and it
seemed to him that now he understood the diocesan bishop, who had
once in his young days written on "The Doctrines of the Freedom of
the Will," and now seemed to be all lost in trivialities, to have
forgotten everything, and to have no thoughts of religion. The
bishop must have lost touch with Russian life while he was abroad;
he did not find it easy; the peasants seemed to him coarse, the
women who sought his help dull and stupid, the seminarists and their
teachers uncultivated and at times savage. And the documents coming
in and going out were reckoned by tens of thousands; and what
documents they were! The higher clergy in the whole diocese gave
the priests, young and old, and even their wives and children, marks
for their behaviour--a five, a four, and sometimes even a three;
and about this he had to talk and to read and write serious reports.
And there was positively not one minute to spare; his soul was
troubled all day long, and the bishop was only at peace when he was
in church.
He could not get used, either, to the awe which, through no wish
of his own, he inspired in people in spite of his quiet, modest
disposition. All the people in the province seemed to him little,
scared, and guilty when he looked at them. Everyone was timid in
his presence, even the old chief priests; everyone "flopped" at his
feet, and not long previously an old lady, a village priest's wife
who had come to consult him, was so overcome by awe that she could
not utter a single word, and went empty away. And he, who could
never in his sermons bring himself to speak ill of people, never
reproached anyone because he was so sorry for them, was moved to
fury with the people who came to consult him, lost his temper and
flung their petitions on the floor. The whole time he had been here,
not one person had spoken to him genuinely, simply, as to a human
being; even his old mother seemed now not the same! And why, he
wondered, did she chatter away to Sisoy and laugh so much; while
with him, her son, she was grave and usually silent and constrained,
which did not suit her at all. The only person who behaved freely
with him and said what he meant was old Sisoy, who had spent his
whole life in the presence of bishops and had outlived eleven of
them. And so the bishop was at ease with him, although, of course,
he was a tedious and nonsensical man.
After the service on Tuesday, his holiness Pyotr was in the diocesan
bishop's house receiving petitions there; he got excited and angry,
and then drove home. He was as unwell as before; he longed to be
in bed, but he had hardly reached home when he was informed that a
young merchant called Erakin, who subscribed liberally to charities,
had come to see him about a very important matter. The bishop had
to see him. Erakin stayed about an hour, talked very loud, almost
shouted, and it was difficult to understand what he said.
"God grant it may," he said as he went away. "Most essential!
According to circumstances, your holiness! I trust it may!"
After him came the Mother Superior from a distant convent. And when
she had gone they began ringing for vespers. He had to go to church.
In the evening the monks sang harmoniously, with inspiration. A
young priest with a black beard conducted the service; and the
bishop, hearing of the Bridegroom who comes at midnight and of the
Heavenly Mansion adorned for the festival, felt no repentance for
his sins, no tribulation, but peace at heart and tranquillity. And
he was carried back in thought to the distant past, to his childhood
and youth, when, too, they used to sing of the Bridegroom and of
the Heavenly Mansion; and now that past rose up before him--living,
fair, and joyful as in all likelihood it never had been. And perhaps
in the other world, in the life to come, we shall think of the
distant past, of our life here, with the same feeling. Who knows?
The bishop was sitting near the altar. It was dark; tears flowed
down his face. He thought that here he had attained everything a
man in his position could attain; he had faith and yet everything
was not clear, something was lacking still. He did not want to die;
and he still felt that he had missed what was most important,
something of which he had dimly dreamed in the past; and he was
troubled by the same hopes for the future as he had felt in childhood,
at the academy and abroad.
"How well they sing to-day!" he thought, listening to the singing.
"How nice it is!"