Monday in the country, it was thought prudent that I should go to town on
Monday by myself, and return in the evening; this being too much for one
horse, a second-hand chariot might be purchased for a little more than
what the one-horse chaise would sell for; the field was large enough for
two horses; going to town in summer in an open carriage was choking
ourselves with dust, burning our faces, and the number of carriages on the
road made driving dangerous; besides, having now a genteel acquaintance in
the neighbourhood, there was no paying a visit in a one-horse chaise.
Another horse would be but very little addition in expense; we had a good
coach-house, and the gardener would drive. All this seemed true. I fell
into the scheme; but soon found that the wheels were so often going that
the gardener could not act in both capacities; whilst he was driving the
chariot, the hot-house was neglected; the consequence was, that I hired
a coachman. The chariot brought on the necessity of a footman--a better
acquaintance--wax candles--Sherry--Madeira--French Wines, &c. In short,
I grew so fond of these indulgencies that they became WANTS, and I was
unhappy when in town and out of the reach of them.
All this would have done very well if I had not had a business to mind;
but the misfortune was, that it took me off from trade--unsettled my
thoughts; my shopmen were too much left to themselves, they were negligent
of my business, and plundered me of my property. I drew too often upon the
till--made no reserve for the wholesale dealers and manufacturers--could
not answer their demands upon me--and became--_Bankrupt_.
Reduced now to live upon a chop and a draught of porter, I feel my
_wants_ more than ever; my wife's genteel notions having upset her, she
has lost her spirits. We do little but upbraid each other, and I am
become despicable in my own opinion, and ridiculous in that of others.
I once was happy, but now am miserable.
* * * * *
THE GATHERER.
A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
SHAKSPEARE
* * * * *
GUDE NEWS.
_Copied from an inscription over the fireplace of a public-house in
Edinburgh, the frequent resort of Burns._
Willie Christie tells them wha dinna ken, that he has a public house,
first door down Libbertown Wynd, in the Lawn Market, whaur he keeps the
best o' stuff; gude nappy Yill frae the best o' Bruars in big bottels an'
wee anes, an' Porter frae Lunnon o' a' sorts; Whuske as gude as in the
Toun, an o' a' strength, an' for cheapness ekwall to ony that's gaun.
Jinger Beer in wee bottells at Tippence, an' Sma' Beer for three bawbees
the twa bottels out of the house, an' a penny the bottel in.
N.B. Toddy cheap an' unco' gude if 'tis his ain mackin.
S.H.
* * * * *
EPIGRAM.
Whilst Mary kissed her infant care,
"You like my lip," she cried, "my dear."
The smiling child, though half afraid,
Thus to her beauteous mother said:
"With me, mamma, oh, do not quarrel,
I thought your lip had been my coral."
E.A.W.
* * * * *
AN EXPLETIVE.
A newspaper tells us that an _old_ woman died April 26, at Wolverhampton,
aged 150 years.
* * * * *
LIMBIRD'S EDITION
_of the Following Novels is already Published:_
s. d.
Mackenzie's Man of Feeling 0 6
Paul and Virginia 0 5
The Castle of Otranto 0 6
Almoran and Hamet 0 5
Elizabeth, or the Exiles of Siberia. 0 6
The Castles of Athlia and Dunbayne 0 6
Rasselas 0 8
The Old English Baron 0 8
Nature and Art 0 8
Goldsmith's Vicar of Wakefield 0 10
Sicilian Romance 1 0
The Man of the World 1 0
A Simple Story 1 4
Joseph Andrews 1 6
Humphry Clinker 1 8
The Romance of the Forest 1 8
The Italian 2 0
Zeluco, by Dr. Moore 2 6
Edward, by Dr. Moore 2 6
Roderick Random 2 6
The Mysteries of Udolpho 3 6
Peregrine Pickle 4 6