There is a case in Chicago where a young man is going to apply to have
his name changed. The man's name is Easus, and he is now about eighteen
years old, and just beginning to go into society. It is alleged that
he was engaged to be married to an heiress, but she has broken off the
engagement until he can get his name changed. She was not very much
mashed on the name, anyway, and Monday night, as she was with him coming
out of Haverly's Theatre, something happened that broke her all up.
The young man's father was a pious man, and he named his son Abijah.
His companion nicknamed him “Bige.” Coming out of the theatre with his
intended on his arm, an old friend, a drummer for a Chicago grocery
house, happened to see him, and he went up to him and said, “Why, Bije
Easus, how are you?” Young Mr. Easus shook hands with his friend, and
introduced him to his girl, and she looked at the profane drummer out
of one corner of her eye and trembled for his soul as she thought how he
would be sure to go to hell when he died.
Mr. Easus explained to his friend as they walked out of the building,
that he was engaged to the girl, and when they parted at the platform
of the street car the drummer grabbed her by the hand and shook it as a
terrier would a rat and said, “Well, Mrs. Bije Easus, that is to be, let
me wish you many happy returns.”
Mr. Easus colored up, the girl was as mad as a wet hen when she pried
her fingers apart, and they rode home in silence. At the gate she said
to him, “Bije Easus, I never till to-night knew what a horrid name I was
going to take upon myself, and I have made up my mind that I cannot go
through the remainder of my natural life in Chicago, being alluded to as
a 'little female Bije Easus.' Mr. Easus, I trust we part friends. If you
can come to me by any other name, you would be sweet, but Bije Easus
I will never have on my calling cards.” The young man has employed a
lawyer and will have his name changed. The girl had a narrow escape, and
she may thank the drummer for calling her attention to it.