Among the recent inventions is a pillow holder. It is explained that the
pillow holder is for the purpose of holding a pillow while the case is
being put on. We trust this new invention will not come into general
use, as there is no sight more beautiful to the eyes of man than to
see a woman hold a pillow in her teeth while she gently manipulates the
pillow case over it.
We do not say that a woman is beautiful with her mouth full of pillows.
No one can ever accuse us of saying that, but there is something
home-like and old-fashioned about it that can not be replaced by any
invention.
We know that certain over-fastidious women have long clamored for some
new method of putting on a pillow case, but these people have either
lost their teeth, or the new ones do not grasp the situation. They
have tried several new methods, such as blowing the pillow case up, and
trying to get the pillow in before the wind got out, and they have tried
to get the pillow in by rolling up the pillow case until the bottom is
reached, and then placing 'the pillow on end and gently unrolling the
pillow case, but all these schemes have their drawbacks.
The old style of chewing one end of the pillow, and holding it the way
a retriever dog holds a duck, till the pillow case is on, and then
spanking the pillow a couple of times on each side, is the best, and it
gives the woman's jaws about the only rest they get during the day.
If any invention drives this old custom away from us, and we no more
see the matrons of our land with their hair full of feathers and their
mouths full of striped bed-ticking, we shall feel that one of the
dearest of our institutions has been ruthlessly torn from us, and the
fabric of our national supremacy has received a sad blow, and that our
liberties are in danger.