There is a movement on foot to provide for lady attendants at the Police
Station, so that when a woman is arrested, and it is necessary to search
her for concealed weapons, or money or incendiary documents, that duty
can be performed by a person of the same sex as the prisoner. The _Sun_
is anxious that this new departure be adopted at once, as it is very
annoying for us to be called away from our business, every day or
two, to aid the police--that is, of course, we are willing to be of
assistance to anybody, but there _are_ times--anybody will admit that.
The need of lady members of the police force was never illustrated any
better than when the police arrested the women for passing counterfeit
silver quarters, about six months ago. There was an oldish woman and a
young woman, and when they were taken to the police office the reporters
of the city papers were there, as usual, ready to lend a helping hand.
The searching of the old lady was done in short order, by Detective
Smith, who went about it in a business-like manner; but when it was time
to search the young woman, and he looked into her soft, liquid eyes, and
saw the emotion that she could not suppress, his heart failed him, and
he sat down to write out his resignation. Tears came into his large,
fawn-like eyes, and he called upon Mr. Northrop, correspondent of
the Chicago _Times_, to assist him. Mr. Northrop had been inured to
hardships, and knew much about the manner in which female persons
conceal money, and being one of the “Willing Workers,” he told Mr. Smith
that he would help him.
The lady was told to remove her outward apparel, and to look steadily
out of the window. She got behind a curtain-cord, and, in less time
than it takes to write it, she threw her dress to the men, from her
concealment behind the curtain-cord. The two men found a pocket in the
dress, but to save them they couldn't find the pocket hole.. The dress
was turned the other side out forty times, to find the pocket hole.
Mr. Yenowine, of the _News_, who was present, said if they would hang
the dress up on a hook he could find the pocket hole in the dark. He
said there couldn't anybody fool him on finding a pocket hole in a
dress.
The dress was hung in a closet, and Mr. Yenowine proceeded on the
arctic exploring expedition, while Mr. Northrop and the detective were
examining a corset that the young woman had thrown on the floor, looking
for bogus quarters. The _News_ man, with all his knowledge of dress
pockets, came out unsuccessful, and said he must have lost the
combination, and accused the janitor of giving it away. Mr. Smith
suggested that they cut the pocket off, but the district attorney, Mr.
McKenney, said it would be clearly against the law. He said that would
be burglary. In the meantime the young woman had kept on shucking
herself, until Mr. Neiman, of the _Sentinel_, became faint and went out
on the steps to get a breath of fresh air, from which position he looked
through the window.
While the gentlemen were wondering if there were no rules of etiquette
published that would make it easy and polite to search a woman for
bogus two shilling pieces, the woman threw an article of female wearing
apparel out on the floor for them to examine that fairly frightened
them.
“Merciful heavens,” said Mr. Yenowine, who was at that time a young and
innocent person, unused to the ways of the world, “she has exploded.”
Northrop poked it with his cane and said, “No, those always come off,”
and he put on an air of superiority over the boys which was annoying.
“What, always?” said Mr. Neiman, who had his fingers up before his face,
and was blushing as though he had intermittent fever.
“Well, most always,” said Mr. Northrop, who had taken it up, and was
examining it with a critic's eye.
“I presume those are a bustle, are they not?” said innocent Yenowine.
“Go aff, till the divil wid yer bushtle,” said Mr. Smith, “I know
bether. Gintlemen, I am a plain shpoken man, and for me age have seen
many thrying situations, but if this was me lasht day on earth I should
shwear that was no more a bushtle than I am. Bushtles are never twins.”
Mr. Harger, of the _Wisconsin_, who had hidden behind the stove pipe,
was asked by Mr. Smith what he thought they were, whether it might
not be an infernal machine. Mr. Harger said he had never known one
to explode. He said when he was reporting legislative proceedings the
members drew those with their stationery, from the superintendent of
public property, but he had no idea what they did with them.
At this point Mr. Aldrich, who had just come in, was asked to examine it
and tell what it was. Mr. Aldrich took it up like a thing of life, and
gazed upon it as though trying to recall something to his mind.
Placing his finger, the one with the diamond ring on, to his corrugated
forehead, he paused for a moment and finally gave his opinion that
they were life preservers. He said that in Boston all women wore them,
especially when they were out on excursions, or picnics. “See,” says
he, as he hefted it, and made an indentation in it, which resumed its
natural position as soon as he took his finger off, “it is filled with
wind. Now, in case of accident, that would float a woman on top of water
until she could be rescued. Let us demonstrate this matter by putting
it on Mr. Boyington, of the _Sentinel_, and taking him to the morgue
and placing him in the bath tub and he proceeded to fasten the life
preserver around the calf of Mr. Boyington's leg.
“Say, where are you putting it?” says Mr. B., as he struggled to keep
from laughing right out. “You fellows don't know as much as Thompson's
colt. If I know my own heart, and I think I do, a life preserver goes on
under the vest.”
Mr. Aldrich said he didn't pretend to know any more than anybody else.
All he knew about these things personally was that he had seen them
hanging up in stores, for sale, and one day when he was shopping he
asked one of the lady clerks what it was hanging up there, and she said
it was a life preserver, and asked him if he wanted one, and he told her
no, he was only inquiring for a friend of his, who rode a bicycle. He
didn't know but it might be something that went with a bicycle.
All the time this discussion was going on we sat by the safe in the
police office. We never were so sorry for a lot of innocent young men,
never. The girl looked at us and winked, as much as to say, “Old man,
why do you not come to the rescue of these young hoodlums, who don't
know what they are talking about, and take the conceit out of them,” and
so we explained to them, in the best language we could command, the uses
and abuses of the garment they were examining, and showed them how it
went on, and how the invention of it filled a want long felt by our
American people. They all admitted that we were right, and that it was
a counterfeit well calculated to deceive, and we believe now that the
woman was convicted of counterfeiting mainly on the testimony of
the reporters. However that may be, we desire to impress upon the
authorities the importance of employing ladies at the police office
to examine women who are arrested for crime. The police cannot always
depend on having a newspaper man around.