seen. A screen extends from R. H. to C. separating fireplace, etc.,
from shop. Chair and table near the fire._
OLD JOE _seated near the fire, smoking. A light burns on the table. The
SPIRIT enters, followed by SCROOGE._
SCR. What foul and obscure place is this? What place of bad repute--of
houses wretched--of people half naked--drunken and ill-favoured? The
whole quarter reeks with crime--with filth and misery. (_Shop door
opens, and MRS. DIBLER enters. She has hardly time to close the door
when it opens again, and DARK SAM enters closely followed by MRS.
MILDEW. Upon perceiving each other they at first start, but presently
burst into a laugh. JOE joins them._)
SAM. Let the charwoman alone to be the first--let the laundress alone to
be second--and let the undertaker's man alone to be the third. Look here
old Joe, here's a chance! If we all three haven't met here without
meaning it.
JOE. You couldn't have met in a better place. Come into the
parlour--you're none of you strangers. Stop till I shut the door of the
shop. Ah! how it shrieks! There an't such a rusty bit of metal here as
its own hinges--and I'm sure there's no such old bones here as mine. Ha,
ha! we're all suitable to our calling. We're well matched. Come into
the parlour. (_They come forward by screen._)
MRS. M. (_Throwing down bundle._) What odds, then, Mrs. Dibler? Every
person has a right to take care of themselves. He always did.
SAM. No man more so, so don't stand staring as if you was afraid,
woman--who's the wiser? We're not going to pick holes in each other's
coats, I suppose?
OMNES. No, indeed! we should hope not!
MRS. M. Who's the worse for the loss of a few things like these? Not a
dead man, I suppose?
OMNES. (_Laughing._) No, indeed!
SAM. If he wanted to keep 'em after he was dead, a wicked old screw, why
wasn't he natural in his life time?
MRS. M. If he had been, he'd have had somebody to look after him when he
was struck with death, instead of lying, gasping out his last, alone
there by himself--it's a judgment upon him! Open that bundle, old Joe,
and let me know the value of it.
SAM. Stop! I'll be served first, to spare your blushes, though we pretty
well knew we were helping ourselves, and no sin neither! (_Gives
trinkets to JOE._)
JOE. Two seals, pencil case, brooch, sleeve buttons! (_Chalking figures
on wall._) Five bob! Wouldn't give more, if you was to boil me! Who's
next? (_MRS. DIBLER offers bundle which he examines._) There's your
money! (_Chalks on wall._) I always give too much to ladies--it's my
weakness, and so I ruin myself. If you asked for another penny, and made
it an open question, I'd repent of being so liberal, and knock off half
a-crown! (_Examines MRS. MILDEW'S bundle upon his knees._) What do you
call this? bed curtains? You don't mean to say you took 'em down, rings
and all, with him lying there?
MRS. M. Yes. I do! Why not?
JOE. You were born to make your fortune, and you'll certainly do it!
Blankets! his blankets?
MRS. M. Whose else's? He won't take cold without 'em!
JOE. I hope he didn't die of anything catching!
MRS. M. No, no! or I'd not have waited on such as he! There, Joe, that's
the best shirt he had--they'd ha' wasted it, but for me!
JOE. What do you call wasting it?
MRS. M. Putting it on him to be buried, to be sure! Somebody was fool
enough to do it, but I took it off again! If calico ain't good enough
for such a purpose, it ain't good enough for anybody! It's quite as
becoming to the body! He can't look uglier than he did in that one!
SCR. I listen to their words in horror!
JOE. There is what I will give you! (_Chalks on wall, then takes out a
small bag, and tells them out their money._)
MRS. M. Ha, ha! This is the end of it, you see--he frightened every one
away from him when he was alive, to profit us when he was dead--ha, ha,
ha! (_All laugh._)
SCR. (_Shuddering._) Spirit, I see--I see! The case of this unhappy man
might be my own--my life tends that way now. Let us be gone. (_The
SPIRIT points onward. The Scene changes._)