a Ball-room_.
_Enter_ BLUNTLY, _meeting a Servant in Livery_.
BLUNTLY.
Come, come, is not every thing ready? Is not the ball-room prepared
yet? It is past ten o'clock.
SERVANT.
We have only to fix up the new chandelier.
BLUNTLY.
I'll have no new chandelier.
SERVANT.
My master said the last ball he gave, the company were in the dark.
BLUNTLY.
And if you blind them with too much light, they will be in the dark
still.
SERVANT.
The musicians, sir, wish for some wine.
BLUNTLY.
What, before the ball begins? No, tell them if they are tipsy at the
end of it, it will be quite soon enough.
SERVANT.
You are always so cross, Mr. Bluntly, when my master is going to have
company.
BLUNTLY.
Have not I a right to be cross? For while the whole house is in good
humour, if there was not one person cross enough to take a little
care, every thing would be wasted and ruined through extreme good
temper. (_A man crosses the stage._) Here, you--Mister----Pray are you
the person who was sent with the chandelier?
SHOPMAN.
Yes, sir.
BLUNTLY.
Then please to take it back again--We don't want it.
SHOPMAN.
What is your objection to it, sir?
BLUNTLY.
It will cost too much.
SHOPMAN.
Mr. Bluntly, all the trades-people are more frightened at you than at
your master.--Sir George, Heaven bless him! never cares how much a
thing costs.
BLUNTLY.
That is, because he never cares whether he pays for it or not----but
if he did, depend upon it he would be very particular. Tradesmen all
wish to be paid for their ware, don't they?
SHOPMAN.
Certainly, sir.
BLUNTLY.
Then why will they force so many unnecessary things, and make so many
extravagant charges as to put all power of payment out of the
question?
_Enter_ EVANS:----_The Tradesman goes off at the opposite
Door._
BLUNTLY.
How do you do, Mrs. Evans? [_Sullenly._
EVANS.
What makes you sigh, Mr. Bluntly?
BLUNTLY.
What makes you smile?
EVANS.
To see all the grand preparations for the ball this evening. I
anticipate the joy my lady will take here, and I smile for _her_.
BLUNTLY.
And I sigh for my master.--I foresee all the bills that will be
brought in, for this evening's expence, and I anticipate the sorrow
it will one day be to _him_.
EVANS.
But consider, Mr. Bluntly, your master has my lady's fortune to take.
BLUNTLY.
Yes, but I consider he has your lady to take along with it; and I
prophecy one will stick by him some time after the other is gone.
EVANS.
For shame.--My lady, I have no doubt, will soon cure Sir George of his
extravagance.
BLUNTLY.
It will then be by taking away the means.--Why, Lady Caroline is as
extravagant as himself.
EVANS.
You are mistaken.--She never gives routs, masquerades, balls, or
entertainments of any kind.
BLUNTLY.
But she constantly goes to them whenever she is invited.
EVANS.
That, I call but a slight imprudence.--She has no wasteful
indiscretions like Sir George. For instance, she never makes a lavish
present.
BLUNTLY.
No, but she _takes_ a lavish present, as readily as if she did.
EVANS.
And surely you cannot call that imprudence?
BLUNTLY.
No, I call it something worse.
EVANS.
Then, although she loves gaming to distraction, and plays deep, yet
she never loses.
BLUNTLY.
No, but she always wins--and _that_ I call something worse.
[_A loud rapping at the street-door._
EVANS.
Here's the company. Will you permit me, Mr. Bluntly, to stand in one
corner, and have a peep at them?
BLUNTLY.
If you please. (_Rapping again._) What spirit there is in that, Rat,
tat, tat, tat.--And what life, frolic, and joy, the whole house is
going to experience except myself. As for me, I am ready to cry at the
thoughts of it all. [_Exit._
_Enter_ LADY CAROLINE.
LADY CAROLINE.
Here, the first of the company. I am sorry for it. (EVANS _comes
forward_.) Evans, what has brought you hither?
EVANS.
I came, my lady, to see the preparations making on _your_ account--for
it is upon your account alone, that Sir George gives this grand
_fete_.
LADY CAROLINE.
Why, I do flatter myself it is.--But where is he? What is it
o'clock?--It was impossible to stay at the stupid opera.--How do I
look? I once did intend to wear those set of diamonds Sir George
presented me with the other morning--but then, I reflected again,
that if----
EVANS.
Ah, my lady, what a charming thing to have such a lover--Sir George
prevents every wish--he must make the best of husbands.
LADY CAROLINE.
And yet my father wishes to break off the marriage--he talks of his
prodigality--and, certainly, Sir George lives above his income.
EVANS.
But then, Madam, so does every body else.
LADY CAROLINE.
But Sir George ought undoubtedly to change his conduct, and not be
thus continually giving balls and entertainments--and inviting to his
table acquaintance, that not only come to devour his dinners and
suppers, but him.
EVANS.
And there are people malicious enough to call your ladyship one of his
devourers too.
LADY CAROLINE.
As a treaty of marriage is so nearly concluded between us, I think,
Mrs. Evans, I am at liberty to visit Sir George, or to receive his
presents, without having my character, or my delicacy called in
question. (_A loud rapping._) The company are coming: is it not
strange he is not here to receive them. [_Exit_ EVANS.
_Enter two Ladies and a Gentleman, who curtsy and bow to_
LADY CAROLINE.--SIR GEORGE _enters at the opposite door,
magnificently dressed_.
SIR GEORGE.
Ladies, I entreat your pardon; dear Lady Caroline excuse me. I have
been in the country all the morning, and have had scarce time to
return to town and dress for your reception. [_Another rapping._
_Enter_ MR. LUCRE, LORD HAZARD, LADY BRIDGET SQUANDER, &C.
SIR GEORGE.
Dear Lucre, I am glad to see you.
MR. LUCRE.
My dear Sir George, I had above ten engagements this evening, but they
all gave place to your invitation.
SIR GEORGE.
Thank you.--My dear Lady Bridget--
LADY BRIDGET.
It is impossible to resist an invitation from the most polished man
alive. (_Sir_ GEORGE _bows_.) What a superb dress! (_in his hearing,
as he turns away_) and what an elegant deportment.
MR. LUCRE. [_After speaking apart with_ SIR GEORGE.
No, I am not in a state to take any part at Pharo--I am ruin'd.--Would
you believe it Sir George, I am not worth a farthing in the world.
SIR GEORGE.
Yes, I believed it long ago.
MR. LUCRE.
Now we are on that subject--could you lend me a hundred pounds?
SIR GEORGE. [_Taking out his pocket-book._
I have about me, only this bill for two hundred.
MR. LUCRE.
That will do as well--I am not circumstantial. (_Takes it._) And my
dear Sir George command my purse at any time--all it contains, will
ever be at your service.
SIR GEORGE.
I thank you.
MR. LUCRE.
Nay, though I have no money of my own, yet you know I can always raise
friends--and by heaven! my dear Sir George, I often wish to see you
reduced to my circumstances, merely to prove how much I could, and
_would_, do to serve you.
SIR GEORGE.
I sincerely thank you.
MR. LUCRE.
And one can better ask a favour for one's friend than for one's-self,
you know: for when one wants to borrow money on one's own account,
there are so many little delicacies to get the better of--such as I
felt just now.--I was as pale as death, I dare say, when I asked you
for this money--did not you perceive I was?
SIR GEORGE.
I can't say I did.
MR. LUCRE.
But you must have observed I hesitated, and looked very foolish.
SIR GEORGE.
I thought for my part, that I looked as foolish.--But I hope I did not
hesitate.
MR. LUCRE.
Nor ever will, when a friend applys to you, I'll answer for it--Nor
ever shall a friend hesitate when you apply.
LORD HAZARD. [_Taking_ SIR GEORGE _aside_.
The obligations I am under to you for extricating me from that
dangerous business--
SIR GEORGE.
Never name it.
LORD HAZARD.
Not only name it, Sir George, but shortly I hope to return the
kindness; and, if I do but live----
SIR GEORGE. [_To the company._
Permit me to conduct you to the next apartment.
LADY CAROLINE.
Most willingly, Sir George. I was the first who arrived; which proves
my eagerness to dance.
SIR GEORGE. [_Aside to her._
But let me hope, passion for dancing was not the only one, that caused
your impatience.
[_As the company move towards the ball-room_, Mr. LUCRE
_and_ LORD HAZARD _come forward_.
MR. LUCRE.
Oh! there never was such a man in the world as the master of this
house; there never was such a friendly, generous, noble heart; he has
the best heart in the world, and the best taste in dress.
[_The company Exeunt, and the music is heard to begin._