them, are crowded with numbers of idle impudent sluts, who love sporting
more than spinning, and inveigle our youth to their ruin; nay, many old
lechers, beasts as they are! steal from their families, and seek these
harlots' lurking holes, to practise their unaccountable schemes of new
invented lewdnesses; some half hang themselves, others are whipped, some
lie under a table and gnaw the bones that are thrown them, while others
stand slaving among a parcel of drabs at a washing tub. Strange that the
inclination should not die with the power, but that old fools should
make themselves the prey and ridicule of a pack of strumpets!
Some heedless youths are wheedled into marriage, which makes them and
their unhappy parents miserable all their lives; others are drawn into
extravagancies, and but too often run into their master's cash, and for
fear of a discovery, make away with themselves, or at least run away and
leave their distracted parents in a thousand tears; not to mention the
frustration of their fortune, and the miseries that attend a vagabond
life. Thus honest parents lose their children, and traders their
apprentices, and all from a liberty we have of late given our youth of
rambling abroad on Sundays; for many, nowadays will lie out all night,
or stay out so late to give no small disturbance in sober families. It
therefore behoves every master of a family to have his servants under
his eye; and if the going to church, meeting, or whatever place of
worship suited their religion, were more enforced, it would be so much
the better.
In short, the luxury of the age will be the ruin of the nation, if not
prevented. We leave trade to game in stocks; we live above ourselves,
and barter our ready money for trifles; tea and wine are all we seem
anxious for, and God has given the blessings of life to an ungrateful
people, who despise their own productions. Our very plough-fellows drink
wine nowadays; our farmers, graziers, and butchers, are above malt
liquors; and the wholesome breakfast of water-gruel and milk potage is
changed for coffee and tea. This is the reason provisions and corn, &c.,
are so dear; we all work for vintners, and raise our prices one upon
another to such a degree, it will be an impossibility to live, and we
shall, of course, become our own devourers.
We strain at a gnat and swallow a camel; and, in this instance, the
publichouses are kept open to furnish our luxury, while we deny
ourselves other necessaries of life, out of a scruple of conscience. For
example; in extreme hot weather, when meat will not keep from Saturday
to Sunday, we throw, or cause to be thrown away, vast quantities of
tainted meat, and have generally stinking dinners, because the butchers
dare not sell a joint of meat on a Sunday morning. Now, though I would
not have the Sabbath so far violated as to have it a market-day, yet,
rather than abuse God's mercies by throwing away creatures given for our
use, nay, for our own healths and cleanliness sake, I would have the
same indulgence in extreme hot weather, as there is for milk and
mackerel; that is to say, that meat might be killed in the cool of the
morning, viz., one or two of the clock, and sold till nine, and no
longer; nor should villanous informers have power to molest them in this
innocent and reasonable amendment of a ridiculous vulgar error.
I cannot forbear taking notice of the extravagant use, or rather abuse,
of that nauseous liquor called Geneva, among our lower sort. Those who
deny that an inferior class of people are most necessary in a body
politic, contradict reason and experience itself, since they are most
useful when industrious, and as pernicious when lazy. By their industry
our manufactures, trade, and commerce are carried on; the merchant in
his counting-house, and the captain in his cabin, would find but little
employment were it not that many hands carried on the different branches
of the concern they superintended.
But now, so far are our common people infatuated with Geneva, that half
the work is not done now as formerly. It debilitates and enervates them,
and they are not near so strong and healthy as formerly. This accursed
liquor is in itself so diuretic, it overstrains the parts of generation,
and makes our common people incapable of getting such lusty children as
they used to do. Add to this, that the women, by drinking it, spoil
their milk, and by giving it to young children, as they foolishly do,
spoil the stomach, and hinder digestion; so that in less than an age, we
may expect a fine spindle-shanked generation.
There is not in nature so unhealthy a liquor as Geneva, especially as
commonly sold; it curdles the blood, it stupefies the senses, it weakens
the nerves, it spoils the eyesight, and entirely ruins the stomach; nay,
some stomachs have been rendered so cold by the use of Geneva, that lamp
spirits have not been a dram warm enough for them. Surely they will come
to drink aquafortis at last!
On the contrary, our own malt liquors, especially common draught beer,
is most wholesome and nourishing, and has brought up better generations
than the present: it is strengthening, cooling, and balsamic; it helps
digestion, and carries nourishment with it; and, in spite of the whims
of some physicians, is most pertinent to a human, especially a good
wholesome English, constitution. Nay, the honest part of the faculty
deny not the use of small beer, well brewed, even in fevers. I, myself,
have found great benefit by it; and if it be good in its kind, it is the
finest jalap upon earth.
If this abuse of Geneva be not stopped, we may go whoop for husbandmen,
labourers, &c. Trade must consequently stand still, and the credit of
the nation sink; nor is the abatement of the excise, though very
considerable, and most worthy notice, any ways comparable to the
corruption of manners, the destruction of health, and all the train of
evils we are threatened with from pernicious Geneva.
_An effectual method to prevent street robberies._
The principal encouragements and opportunity given to street robbers is,
that our streets are so poorly watched; the watchmen, for the most part,
being decrepit, superannuated wretches, with one foot in the grave and
the other ready to follow; so feeble that a puff of breath can blow
them down. Poor crazy mortals! much fitter for an almshouse than a
watchhouse. A city watched and guarded by such animals is wretchedly
watched indeed.
Nay, so little terror do our watchmen carry with them, that hardy
thieves make a mere jest of them, and sometimes oblige even the very
watchman who should apprehend them to light them in their roguery. And
what can a poor creature do, in terror of his life, surrounded by a pack
of ruffians, and no assistance near?
Add to this, that our rogues are grown more wicked than ever, and vice
in all kinds is so much winked at, that robbery is accounted a petty
crime. We take pains to puff them up in their villany, and thieves are
set out in so amiable a light in the Beggar's Opera, that it has taught
them to value themselves on their profession rather than be ashamed of
it.
There was some cessation of street robberies, from the time of Bunworth
and Blewitt's execution, until the introduction of this pious opera. Now
we find the Cartouchian villanies revived, and London, that used to be
the most safe and peaceful city in the universe, is now a scene of
rapine and danger. If some of Cartouch's gang be not come over to
instruct our thieves, and propagate their schemes, we have, doubtless, a
Cartouch of our own, and a gang which, if not suppressed, may be full as
pernicious as ever Cartouch's was, and London will be as dangerous as
Paris, if due care be not taken.
We ought to begin our endeavours to suppress these villanies, first by
heavenly, and then by earthly means.
By heavenly means, in enforcing and encouraging a reformation of
manners, by suppressing of vice and immorality, and punishing
profaneness and licentiousness. Our youth are corrupted by filthy, lewd
ballads, sung and sold publicly in our streets; nay, unlicensed and
unstamped, notwithstanding acts of parliament to the contrary.
Coachmen, carmen, &c, are indulged in swearing after the most
blasphemous, shocking, and unaccountable rate that ever was known. New
oaths and blasphemies are daily uttered and invented; and rather than
not exercise this hellish talent, they will vent their curses on their
very horses; and, oh stupid! damn the blood of a post, rather than want
something to curse.
Our common women, too, have learned this vice; and not only strumpets,
but labouring women, who keep our markets, and vend things about street,
swear and curse at a most hideous rate. Their children learn it from
their parents, and those of the middle, or even the better sort of
people, if they pass through the streets to school, or to play, catch
the infection, and carry home such words as must consequently be very
shocking to sober parents.
Our youth, in general, have too much liberty; the Sabbath is not kept
with due solemnity; masters and mistresses of families are too remiss in
the care of the souls committed to their charge. Family prayer is
neglected; and, to the shame of scoffers be it spoken, too much
ridiculed. All ages and sexes, if in health, should be obliged to attend
public worship, according to their respective opinions. Were it only to
keep youth out of harm's way it would do well. But it is to be hoped, if
their parents, masters, or mistresses, should oblige their attendance at
public devotion, they would edify by what they should hear, and many
wicked acts would be stifled in their infancy, and checked even in the
intention, by good and useful doctrine.
Our common people make it a day of debauch, and get so drunk on a
Sunday they cannot work for a day or two following. Nay, since the use
of Geneva has become so common, many get so often drunk they cannot work
at all, but run from one irregularity to another, till at last they
become arrant rogues. And this is the foundation of all our present
complaints.
We will suppose a man able to maintain himself and family by his trade,
and at the same time to be a Geneva drinker. This fellow first makes
himself incapable of working by being continually drunk; this runs him
behindhand, and he either pawns or neglects his work, for which reason
nobody will employ him. At last, fear of arrests, his own hunger, the
cries of his family for bread, his natural desire to support an
irregular life, and a propense hatred to labour, turn but too many an
honest tradesman into an arrant desperate rogue. And these are commonly
the means that furnish us with thieves and villains in general.
Thus is a man, that might be useful in a body politic, rendered
obnoxious to the same: and if this trade of wickedness goes on, they
will grow and increase upon us, insomuch that we shall not dare to stir
out of our habitations; nay, it will be well if they arrive not to the
impudence of plundering our houses at noonday.
Where is the courage of the English nation, that a gentleman, with six
or seven servants, shall be robbed by one single highwayman? Yet we have
lately had instances of this; and for this we may thank our effeminacy,
our toupee wigs, and powdered pates, our tea, and other scandalous
fopperies; and, above all, the disuse of noble and manly sports, so
necessary to a brave people, once in vogue, but now totally lost among
us.
Let not the reader think I run from my subject if I search the bottom
of the distemper before I propose a cure, which having done, though
indeed but slightly, for this is an argument could be carried to a much
greater length, I proceed next to propose earthly means in the manner
following.
Let the watch be composed of stout able-bodied men, and of those at
least treble the number now subsisting, that is to say, a watchman to
every forty houses, twenty on one side of the way, and twenty on the
other; for it is observable that a man cannot well see distinctly beyond
the extent of twenty houses in a row; if it is a single row, and no
opposite houses, the charge must be greater and their safety less. This
man should be elected and paid by the housekeepers themselves, to
prevent misapplication and abuse, so much complained of in the
distribution of public money.
He should be allowed ten shillings per annum by each housekeeper, which
at forty houses, as above specified, amounts to 20_l._ per annum, almost
treble to what is at present allowed; and yet most housekeepers are
charged at least 2s. 6d. a quarter to the watch, whose beat is,
generally speaking, little less than the compass of half a mile.
This salary is something of encouragement, and a pretty settlement to a
poor man, who with frugality may live decently thereon, and by due rest
be enabled to give vigilant attendance.
If a housekeeper break, or a house is empty, the poor watchman ought not
to suffer, the deficiency should be made up by the housekeepers
remaining.
Or, indeed, all housekeepers might be excused, if a tax of only one
shilling per annum were levied on every bachelor within the bills of
mortality, and above the age of one-and-twenty, who is not a
housekeeper: for these young sparks are a kind of unprofitable gentry to
the state; they claim public safety and advantages, and yet pay nothing
to the public; nay, indeed, they in a manner live upon the public, for
(on a Sunday especially) at least a million of these gentlemen quarter
themselves upon the married men, and rob many families of part of a
week's provision, more particularly when they play a good knife and
fork, and are of the family of the Tuckers.
I beg pardon for this whimsical proposal, which, ludicrous as it seems,
has something in it; and may be improved. Return we, in the mean time,
to our subject.
The watch thus stationed, strengthened, and encouraged, let every
watchman be armed with firearms and sword; and let no watchman stand
above twenty doors distant from his fellow.
Let each watchman be provided with a bugle-horn, to sound an alarm, or
in time of danger; and let it be made penal, if not felony, for any but
a watchman to sound a horn in and about the city, from the time of their
going on, to that of their going off.
An objection will be here made on account of the postboys, to obviate
which, I had thoughts of a bell, but that would be too ponderous and
troublesome for a watchman to carry, besides his arms and lantern. As to
a fixed bell, if the watchman is at another part of his walk, how can he
give notice? Besides, rogues may play tricks with the bell; whereas a
horn is portable, always ready, and most alarming.
Let the postboys therefore use some other signal, since this is most
convenient to this more material purpose. They may carry a bell in a
holster with ease, and give notice by that, as well as those who collect
the letters.
That the watchmen may see from one end of their walks to the other, let
a convenient number of lamps be set up, and those not of the convex
kind, which blind the eyes, and are of no manner of use; they dazzle,
but give no distinct light: and further, rather than prevent robberies,
many, deceived and blinded by these _ignes fatui_, have been run over by
coaches, carts, &c. People stumble more upon one another, even under
these very lamps, than in the dark. In short, they are most unprofitable
lights, and in my opinion, rather abuses than benefits.
Besides, I see no reason why every ten housekeepers cannot find a lamp
among themselves, and let their watchman dress it, rather than fatten a
crew of directors; but we are so fond of companies, it is a wonder we
have not our shoes blacked by one, and a set of directors made rich at
the expense of our very black-guards. Convenient turnpikes and stoppages
may be made to prevent escapes, and it will be proper for a watchman to
be placed at one of these, fixed at the end of a lane, court, alley, or
other thoroughfare, which may happen in any part of his beat, and so as
not to obstruct his view to both ends thereof, or being able to give
notice, as aforesaid; for the watch ought to be in view, as well as in
the hearing of each other, or they may be overpowered, and much danger
may happen.
The streets thus guarded and illuminated, what remains but that the
money allotted by the government be instantly paid on conviction of
every offender; for delays in this case are of dangerous consequence,
and nobody will venture their lives in hopes of a reward, if it be not
duly and timely paid. If there is reason of complaint on this head, it
ought to be looked into by those at the helm; for nothing can be more
vile than for underlings to abuse the benevolence of the public, or
their superiors, by sinking, abridging, or delaying public or private
benefits. And it is by no means below the dignity or care, even of the
greatest, to see the disposal of their own bounty and charity; for it
loses but too often by the carriage: and where a nobleman or other
generous person has ordered five guineas to be given, it is well if the
proper object has had even one.
Something allowed by the Chamber of London to every person apprehending
a robber, would have a good effect, especially if it be not told over a
gridiron, but paid without delay or abatement. And what if the fewer
custards are eat, so it augment the public safety.
Some of our common soldiery are, and I hope unjustly, suspected. This
may be easily confuted, if strict orders are enforced, that none but
commission or warrant officers shall be out of their quarters after ten
at night. But if we consider, that neither Blewit, Bunworth, or their
gangs, were soldiers, and that of those who have been executed for ten
years past, not one in ten were soldiers, but, on the contrary, seamen
discharged and thrown on the public without present subsistence, which
makes them desperate; but I hope the act now depending for the
encouragement of seamen, &c., will sufficiently remove that obstacle
also. This, I hope, will stop the mouths of censorious persons, who
unjustly arraign our soldiery for the vices of others. However, to make
all easy, I believe the generality of them will gladly submit to the
restraint proposed, merely to show their innocence.
Mean time, would his most sacred majesty let them partake of his bounty,
as the officers, &c., have done, and raise their pay, were it but one
penny _per diem_, it would be a most royal bounty, would considerably
contribute to their support, and put them above any sordid views: and
there was never more occasion than now, when provisions of all kinds are
so excessive dear.
Having offered my little mite to the public, I beg they will excuse the
deficiency of my style, and multitude of my errors, for my intention's
sake. I write without prospect of gain; if I am censured, it is what I
can but expect; but if among all my schemes one proves of service, my
desires and labours are amply answered.
_Omissions._
In my scheme for an university in London I proposed only a hall or
public room; on recollection I find it should be a large house or inn,
in the nature of a college, with store of convenient rooms for
gentlemen, not only to study separately, but wherein to lodge their
books, for it would be most inconvenient to lug them backwards and
forwards. They may indeed breakfast, sup, and sleep at home, but it will
be highly necessary they should dine in commons, or at least near the
college; not that I would have cooks, butlers, caterers, manciples, and
the whole train of college cannibals retained; but for fear they should
stay too long at home, or be hindered from returning to study in due
time, some proper place or person might be pitched upon to keep an
ordinary, at a prefixed price and hour, and for the students only.
My reasons are these:--
First, A young gentleman may live too far from college.
Second, The college hours for dinner may not agree with those of the
family.
Third, Company may drop in and detain him.
These being, I think, the only material objections could be offered, I
hope I have amply provided against them, and rendered my project more
perfect and unexceptionable.
* * * * *
One omission I made in the discourse on madhouses, &c., is, that maiden
ladies as well as widows and wives are liable to the inquisition there
complained of, and I am informed a good estate is lately come to a
worthless family by the death, or rather murder, of an innocent young
creature, who being left very rich, chose to live with her friends; but
well had it been for her had she taken up her abode among strangers, for
they staved off all proposals for marriage a considerable time, and when
at last they found the lady would not be hindered from altering her
condition, she was hurried away to a madhouse, where she miserably ended
her days, while they rioted in the pillage of her fortune. Thus neither
maid, wife, or widow, are safe while these accursed madhouses are
suffered; nay, I see no reason, if the age improves in wickedness, as in
all probability it may, but the men, _per contra_, may take their turns.
Younger brothers, &c., may clap up their elders, and jump into their
estates, for there are no questions asked at these madhouses, but who is
the paymaster, and how much; give them but their price, mad or not mad,
it is no matter whom they confine; so that if any person lives longer
than his relations think convenient, they know their remedy; it is but
sending them to a madhouse and the estate is their own.
Having answered all that I think liable to objection, and recollected
what I had omitted, I desire to stand or fall by the judgment of the
serious part of mankind; wherein they shall correct me I will kiss the
rod and suffer with patience; but if a pack of hackney scribblers shall
attack me only by way of a get-penny, I shall not be provoked to answer
them, be they never so scurrilous, lest I be accounted as one of them.
TO LIEUTENANT-COLONEL SAMUEL ROBINSON.
SIR,
I shall congratulate you on your election into the chamberlainship of
the city of London, or otherwise, as you shall acquit yourself in
answering candidly and impartially to the following queries.
I. whether there is not money sufficient in the chamber of London to pay
off the orphan's fund? Or if not a sufficient sum, what sum it is, and
what is the deficiency? How long it has lain there, and what interest
has been made upon it?
II. If there are not considerable arrears due from many wards, and what
those arrears are?
III. Who are these poor orphans we pay so much money to? and whether
they are not some of the richest men in the city of London, who have got
the stock into their own hands, and find it so snug a fund they do not
care to get out of it.
IV. If it would not be much better to gather in the arrears, join them
to the money in the office, and collect the overplus at once, rather
than suffer the tax to become eternal, and to pay so much interest.
This is but a reasonable request; and if colonel Robinson is the honest
gentleman fame reports him to be, he will make no scruple to give a
ready answer. And indeed it will be but a handsome return made to his
fellow citizens for their choice of him, to begin his office with such
an act of justice, honesty, and public satisfaction, for many people do
not know what is meant by the orphan's tax; they pay it with remorse,
and think themselves aggrieved. Even those who know the reason of the
fund think it has been continued long enough, wish it were once paid
off, suspect some secret in the affair, and give their tongues the
liberty all losers claim; Our fathers, say they, have eaten sour grapes,
and our teeth are set on edge, we are visited for their transgressions,
and may be to the world's end, unless we shall find an honest
chamberlain who will unveil this cloudy affair, and gives us a prospect
of relief.
Thus, sir, it lies at your door to gain the applause of the whole city,
a few misers excepted, by a generous and gentlemanlike discovery of this
affair. And you are thus publicly called upon, that your discovery may
be as public and beneficial to all. If you comply, I shall think you an
honest man, above a fellow feeling, or being biassed, and most worthy
your office; if not, give me leave to think, the citizens of London have
made but an indifferent choice.
I am,
Sir,
Yours, as you prove yourself,
ANDREW MORETON.
_Sept. 23,
1728._
* * * * *
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