CHAPTER XVIII.

An opportunity offered almost immediately for taking a passage home with

the Tonsberger before alluded to, and Salvé gladly availed himself of

it, calculating upon being taken off by one of the pilot boats off the

coast of Arendal.

It was with a strange deep feeling that he once more trod the deck of a

home vessel, and as he went about and listened to the people's talk,

felt himself an object for their curiosity. The southern brown of his

face, the foreign cut of his clothes, and his whole exterior, marked him

as coming from a much higher condition of sailor life than any with

which they were acquainted, and he passed for an Englishman or an

American; for he purposely avoided being recognised by them as a

countryman, and had made his agreement with the skipper in English.

It was certainly a long time since he had been on board a craft so

miserably found in every way as this leaky old galliot was. She had been

bought by auction for a small sum at Færder; and in shape resembled an

old wooden shoe, in which her skipper venturesomely trudged across to

Holland through the spring and winter storms, calculating that he and

his crew could always lash themselves to something to avoid being washed

overboard; that their timber cargo would keep them afloat; and that as

long as the rigging held they could sail. He carried no

top-gallant-mast, so as not to strain her; her sails were all in holes,

as if they had been riddled with bullets; and where ropes had broken in

the rigging, they had been tied in clumsy knots, instead of being

spliced in proper sailor-like fashion. There was not much to boast of in

the way of navigation either; the captain keeping his log by the simple

method of spitting over the side, or throwing a chip of wood overboard,

and making his calculations according to the pace it drifted past. The

food, too, was on a par with all the rest, and the cook could be heard

beating the dried fish with the back of an axe to make it tender. Salvé

seemed to have dropped all at once into home life and ways again.

The crew were dressed in thick winter clothing, and had the appearance

of navvies rather than of sailors, but they were all fearless,

hardy-looking fellows, as most of the men who risk their lives on these

timber vessels are; and what immediately struck him with a feeling of

pleasure, was the honest expression which every countenance, without

exception, wore. It was long since he had seen a sight of the kind, and

he felt ashamed of himself for going about with his knife ready to hand,

as had been his custom for so many years, and put it away in his chest

the very first day. He took a pleasure in leaving his watch and money

out on the top where they might easily have been taken, and was filled

with surprise and admiration when he found that they were not stirred.

He had not been able to get out of his head the idea that Elizabeth was

now in Amsterdam, in spite of the almost certain feeling which he had

that she had been long ago married to young Beck. His thoughts kept

returning to, and dwelling upon, this subject, and he began to sound the

skipper as to whether the trade with Holland was a paying one, and to

post himself up generally in all particulars. Their conversation was

carried on in a kind of jumble of English chiefly, and he gathered, at

all events, that it was a lucrative business, and an occupation which

seemed likely to suit him in every way. It was adventurous, and that was

a recommendation; and a way of living at home in which he would be under

nobody's orders but his own, fell in exactly with his nature. He had

more than money enough to purchase some old craft or other, and--in

fact, it was decided; he would be the owner of a timber ship, and ply to

Holland.

He began now to look out more impatiently than ever for land, and longed

so to catch the first streak of the Norwegian coast above the horizon,

as if it was something he hardly dared hope that he should live to see.

He paced up and down for hours together, anathematising through his

teeth the old tub with her slack sails and rolling motion--they seemed

to be drifting, not sailing; and from the restlessness and impatience he

exhibited, it began to be whispered among the crew that the Englishman

must have a screw loose somewhere. When the dim outline of Lindesnaes

became discernible at last in the far distance, there was not a

palm-clad promontory in all the southern seas that could compare with

it, he thought; and the pleasure he experienced was only dashed by the

apprehension of what he might have to learn about Elizabeth on landing.

They were hailed shortly after by a pilot boat from Arendal, and he

arrived there after dark the same evening, and went to Madam Gjers's

unpretending lodging-house until the morning.

The following day was Sunday. And as he listened to the bells ringing,

and watched the townspeople, great and small, going decorously up the

street in their best clothes to church--most of them he recognised, and

among them Elizabeth's old aunt going up by herself, with her psalm-book

and her white folded handkerchief in her hand--an indescribable feeling

came over him, and his eyes filled so that he could hardly see. Here

passing before him were all the gentleness and the purity that he had

once believed in, when his young faith had as yet received no shock, and

when he was as joyous and credulous as the rest; and he could not resist

the temptation of joining the stream, trusting to the alteration in his

appearance to save him from recognition.

Beside him, almost, there walked a respectable family--he knew well who

they were--with a couple of handsome daughters, in light dresses, who

had grown up since he last saw them, and a younger brother whom he did

not remember. The foreign, black-bearded sailor, with his fine cloth

clothes, and his patent gold watch-chain, seemed to excite their

curiosity; while he on his side was thinking how they would fly from

him, as if a wolf had suddenly appeared in their midst, if they had any

conception of the life that he had been leading for years, half-a-day of

which would have filled them with more horror than they had ever

imagined. They would not understand it if it was described to them, and

the description would be too foul for their ears. As he quietly followed

the stream up the hill, it seemed as if all the sunny houses in his

beautiful native town were crying out against him, and asking whether it

was possible that a man from the Stars and Stripes could be permitted to

go to church as well as other people; and on entering the building he

had to summon up all his self-command--he had a feeling that he was

violating the sanctity of the place.

He took his seat in the last pew close to the door, and watched the

people passing up the aisle. It was like a dream; they all seemed

creatures of a purer world than his. The organ commenced to play, the

singing was begun, and he leaned his head forward on his hands,

completely overcome, and trying to conceal his sobs. In this position he

remained during the greater part of the service, his past life coming

up, scene by scene, before him. What a gulf he felt there was between

the present condition of his mind and what it had been in the days when

as a boy or lad he had gone to church like the rest. He had been

familiar with more murder and blasphemy than the whole congregation

together could conceive; and the simple faith he had once possessed he

had been robbed of, he feared irrecoverably. His eyes flashed then with

a sudden wildness as he thought who it was that had brought him to this;

and it was with a deep hatred in his heart to one of the two at least,

that he left the church. In a couple who were coming out at the same

time, he recognised Captain Beck and his wife, and the sight added fuel

to the flames. He hastened on; and was hardly to be recognised as the

same man who had gone up the same way so quietly two hours before.

He had meant to go over at once to Sandvigen to see his father, but he

thought that before going it would be as well to find out for certain

all about Elizabeth; and his landlady seemed as likely a person to be

able to satisfy him as any one. He remembered well that sharp,

bright-eyed little woman, and knew that she was a regular magpie for

chatter, and for repeating the gossip of the town.

At that time of the day on Sunday there were no other customers in the

house, and while she was busying herself with preparations for his

dinner, he asked casually if Captain Beck's son, the one in the navy,

was married?

"To be sure he is," she replied, surprised to hear him speak Norwegian.

"He has been married for--let me see--about three years."

She looked fixedly at him.

"But who are you?" she asked; and then, as if the thought had suddenly

flashed upon her, she said, "It's never Salvé Kristiansen, who--" She

stopped here, and Salvé dryly finished the sentence for her--

"Who deserted from Beck at Rio?--the same."

Madam Gjers was agog with curiosity, and whispered, "I'll say

nothing--you may trust me;" and waited eagerly then for further

particulars which she might take the first opportunity of retailing.

Salvé assured her that he knew of old that a secret was always safe with

her, and resumed then absently--

"So the lieutenant is married?"

"This long while," she replied. "The wedding was at the house of the

bride's parents; and they are living now at Frederiksværn."

"Elizabeth had no parents," said Salvé, rather impatiently.

"Elizabeth?--oh! you mean the girl the Becks took to live with them.

That is quite another story," she said, significantly. "No, the

lieutenant's wife was Postmaster Forstberg's daughter. The other was

just a passing fancy--the end of it was that she had to go to Holland,

poor thing! It was said she had got a place there."

"Do you know anything for certain of this?" asked Salvé, severely, and

with an earnestness that put the little madam out of countenance, and

made her be careful of her words.

"It was all done very secretly, that's true," she replied. "But she went

away in the greatest possible hurry, and the affair was well enough

known, more's the pity--known and forgotten now, one may say."

"What was known?" asked Salvé, catching her up, angrily. "Did you see

her, Madam Gjers?"

"Not I, indeed, nor no one else neither. The Becks were living out at

Tromö at the time; and there was just very good reason for--"

"Then neither you nor any one else who wants to take away her character

know a jot more about the business than what you have chosen to invent,"

said Salvé, fiercely and contemptuously; for although he had slain

Elizabeth himself in his heart, he must still defend her against the

attacks of others. He felt quite sick and faint.

"I happen to know the rights of the case," he said, with a short laugh,

looking her coldly and sharply in the face, "and--" he sprang up

suddenly here, and striking the table violently with his fist--"and I

don't taste another morsel in such a scandal-mongering house," he cried.

"Do you understand, madam? Be good enough to take what is owing to you

out of that," and flinging down a handful of silver on to the table, he

sprang over it, and proceeded to drag his chest down-stairs himself.

Madam Gjers exhausted herself in a flood of deprecation, the gist of

which was that she had only said and believed what she had heard from

every creature in the town; but Salvé was unappeasable, and slinging his

chest over his back with a rope, he went down with it to the quay, with

the intention of chartering a boat to take him over to his father. For

the present, however, he remained sitting upon the chest, gazing out

abstractedly over the harbour.

The result of his reflections was that he gave up his idea of plying to

Holland.

He took a boat to Sandvigen, but while they were on the way, he suddenly

made the boatman change his course, and put in to the slip on the other

side of the harbour. He must talk to Elizabeth's aunt. There was

something in his mind all the time that wouldn't let him altogether

believe the worst.

When he went in to the old woman, she recognised him at once.

"How do you do, Salvé?" she said, quite calmly. "You have been a long

while away--half a century almost."

She offered him a chair, but he remained standing, and asked abruptly--

"Is it true that Elizabeth--left Beck's like that--and went to Holland?"

"How do you mean like that?" she asked, sharply, while her face flushed

slightly.

"As people say," replied Salvé, with bitter emphasis.

"When people say it, a fool like you of course must believe it," she

rejoined, derisively. "I don't understand why you want to come here to

her old aunt for information when it seems you have so many other

confidants about the town. But anyhow, she can tell you something

different from them, my lad; and she wouldn't do it, if it wasn't that

she knew the girl still loved you in spite of all the years you have

been away, gadding about, God knows where, in the world. It's true

enough she left Beck's one night and came here in the morning; but it

was just for your sake, and no one else's, that she might get quit of

the lieutenant. It was Madam Beck herself that got her a place in

Holland, because she didn't want to have her for a daughter-in-law."

A wild gleam of joy broke over Salvé's features for a moment, but they

relapsed almost immediately into gloom.

"Was she not engaged to Carl Beck, then?" he asked.

"Yes and no," replied the old woman, cautiously, not wishing to depart a

hair's-breadth from the truth. "She allowed herself to be betrayed into

saying 'yes,' but fled from the house because she didn't want to have

him. She told me, with tears in her eyes, that she repented having said

'no' to you."

"So that was the way of it," he rejoined sarcastically. "The 'yes' and

'no' meant that the Becks wouldn't have her for a daughter-in-law, and

bundled her out of the house over to Holland; and you want me to believe

it was for my sake she went. God knows," he added, sadly, and shaking

his head slowly, "I would willingly believe it--more willingly than I

can say; but I can't, Mother Kirstine. You are her aunt, and want of

course to--"

"I'm afraid it is your misfortune, Salvé," she broke in severely, "not

to have it in your power to believe thoroughly in any one creature upon

this earth; you'll be always doubting, always listening to folks' talk.

With the thoughts you have now in your mind, you have at any rate no

business any longer inside my door. But there is one thing I'll ask of

you," she said, with a look of mildly impressive earnestness in her

strong, clever face. "I know Elizabeth's nature well, and don't you

attempt to approach her or try to win her as long as you have a trace of

those doubts about her in your heart--it would only bring unhappiness to

both of you."

He looked dejected; and as he said good-bye to her, offered to take her

hand. But she would not give it to him, and merely added instead--

"Remember that it is an old woman who has seen a good deal in the world

who tells you this."

He went away then; and while he was being rowed across to Sandvigen he

changed his mind again, and determined that his plan of plying to

Holland should be carried out.

The Pilot and His Wife · 第 18 / 32 章